I stop to catch my breath and I stop to catch your eye. No need to second-guess, that you've been on my mind. Well I, I dream days away, but that's okay. It's like I want to hear a silent sound, and then hold it in my hand, but a rose won't blossom from a ground of desert sand. But I like to pretend that one day I'll turn around, I'll see your hand reach out, but I'm only fooling myself, but maybe when you smile, it means you'd stay awhile. Just maybe, you'd save me now…
Kurt walked the hallways, looking amazingly fashionable and with his feared Ice Queen mojo in place. He had just climbed out of the dumpster, his apparent morning ritual for the rest of high school, one he of course, did not like at all, but what was a guy his size to do in this small town. Lima was the most pathetic little cow-town on the face of the Earth, of course it was named after the bean almost everyone hated, everyone wanted out, Kurt especially. He was going to be something great, he just knew it, he was going to be on Broadway, or start an extremely fashionable clothing line, or, well the possibilities were endless, but Kurt knew one thing for sure, he wanted to be far away from here.
Matt had always harbored feelings for none other than Kurt Hummel, at least for as long as he remembered, but of course Matt was so quiet he doubted people even knew he was there, let alone that he had feelings. Being gay wasn't exactly welcomed most places, but especially not in Ohio. Everyone in town was used to the little box they lived in, and whenever you weren't in the box, you got tormented. Kurt got that everyday and yet, he still stood strong and held his head high, a trait Matt respected in in the small boy. Being the 'mute' football player didn't exactly make him popular, but he was still above a lot of others, other that got slushies to the face and thrown in dumpsters, people like Kurt. Yet no matter how the social hierarchy worked, Matt always felt inferior to Kurt. Like he was something to be looked down upon, a beggar to the Ice Queen, and no matter how he wished that would change, he knew it never would.
The first time Kurt ever really saw Matt, was when Mr. Schue gave them their first solo assignment of the year. I mean, Kurt had always known Matt was there, but nobody really know who Matt really was. When the tall boy had gotten up in front of his fellow Glee clubbers and sang his heart out to When You Love Someone by Bryan Adams, putting so much emotion into it, and even playing piano while singing, Kurt was nothing short of intrigued. Who the hell knew Matt could sing so well? Or that he could play piano? Or that his eyes were the most amazing shade of dark chocolate? And why in hell did it feel like those eyes were reaching his soul with every glance?
Matt had always been nervous about singing in front of people, but the second his eyes locked with Kurt's, his nervousness faded away. He just let himself feel, willingly singing the song to his crush in front of the public. When a genuine smile crossed Kurt's face, Matt just flowed deeper into the song, letting the deep sea green eyes that were now returning his gaze overtake him.
Well, now it's etched in stone, that I can't survive alone. You have the missing piece, that I need so desperately. Yes, I slip away to a day that'll never come. It's like a splash of water to my face, when I suddenly realize, that you could never find a place, for me in your eyes. I don't know why I keep thinking, one day I'll turn around, I'll see your hand reach out, I'm only fooling myself. But maybe when you smile, it means you'd stay awhile. Just maybe you'd save me now..
Kurt's recent mission to get Matt to talk was flowing smoothly. After being paired for a partner project together, Kurt found out a lot about Matthew Rutherford. The taller boy didn't talk because he was afraid, he didn't want to be judged, a feeling that Kurt more than understood. He liked Grease, apparently it was like his favorite movie, and Kurt had had to work super hard to get the boy to admit that. He also liked the color green and loved dancing his heart out, he even taught Kurt some moves during their rehearsals. As Kurt got closer and closer to Matt, he realized that he was falling hard for him, and no matter how much he told himself not to, he just couldn't stop.
Matt loved being closer to Kurt, no matter how much his heart ached know that Kurt would never love him. He opened up to the boy anyways, telling him all about himself and receiving as much knowledge about Kurt in return. He fell deeper for the boy, knowing well that he could suffer the consequences later, right now just felt so good, so right.
It's love in disguise. I've lost track of time, I'm lost in your eyes. I don't know why I'm thinking, one day I'll turn around, I'll see your hand reach out, I'm only fooling myself…
The day Matt told Kurt he was gay, Kurt full force fell off his bed. He had expected a lot from Matt, he was one of the few people that knew the jock best, but he had never been expecting that. In seeing Kurt's reaction Matt had turned in on himself again, becoming silent for the rest of the day and leaving later on without so much as a goodbye. Kurt hadn't meant to hurt him or upset him in any way, but he knew fully well that he had, he just didn't know how to fix it. Kurt was so determined to fix it though, because for the first time, Kurt was in love with someone who could love him back. Someone he knew he could not live without.
Matt hadn't been upset about Kurt's reaction, at least not at first, he was just embarrassed, he had just told his long time crush he was gay and the kid had fallen over in shock. He probably should have expected it, seeing as that was the exact thing Mike had done when he told him, but he figured just a small part of him hoped that Kurt would take it a little better, would understand how big of a deal this was. Would understand that Matt Rutherford was hopelessly and unconditionally in love with Kurt Hummel.
But maybe when you smile, it means you'd stay awhile..
Kurt hadn't been able to approach Matt since what Kurt liked to call Faggygate Part II. He wasn't sure what he should say to him, because honestly, Kurt was terrified of the hurt he had seen in Matthew's eyes the first time he looked in his direction after the incident. The pain in those eyes had cut Kurt so deep, yet the tall boy had continued to stare at Kurt in the middle of the hall, conveying all his pain onto Kurt. It was then that Kurt was struck with an idea to fix his problem, but he needed to find Mr. Schue before the bell.
Just maybe you'd save me now…
Matt was paranoid, he was shifty all day, afraid Kurt had told. If anyone had found out, especially Rachel and her gossiping ways, he was thoroughly screwed for the rest of his high school years. He hoped that once surrounded by his Glee-mates he would feel more relaxed, but as they trickled through the door all he felt was more stressed. He waited for one face to pop through the door, designer scarf tied around his neck and Mercedes in tow, but when the girl appeared in the doorway by herself, Matt's mind began to race. Where the hell was Kurt?
Kurt had set up the auditorium at lunch with Mercedes, whom he had filled in during that period. She hadn't told Mercedes that Matt was gay, just that he needed to win back his friendship after Kurt had hurt him. Mercedes willingly accepted. As Kurt awaited the Glee club's entry into the rows of chairs Kurt became nervous, hoping Matt would catch on to what his song choice meant. Kurt had never fallen so deeply for anyone, he needed to say that, even if he couldn't directly.
The walk to the auditorium was the most mind jumbling few steps Matt had ever taken, Mr. Schue had informed us that there was a song he wanted to sing to the club and he wished to do it on stage, so everyone had packed up and nothing short of ran to the door. Matt was the only one who took his time getting there, and after what he would experience in the next 3 minutes, Matt would later wish that he had ran with the rest of them.
Kurt had picked the best song, and he knew it as soon as he saw the outline of Matt's mouth turn up into a smile, the darkness of the audience caused by the spotlight not being enough to mask the small upturn of his lips. Kurt sang away, putting his full emotion into the song, the way Matt had when he'd first really heard him. When the song came close to a close, he looked directly into the chocolate irises that belonged to the man he loved and sang to him, "but maybe when you smile, it means you'd stay a while. Just maybe, you'd save me now….Save me now." The spotlight seemed to fade, it was nothing compared to the brightness that now shone out of Matt's eyes. Kurt almost cried when Matt mouthed the words he had so been longing for, his lips forming the syllables almost as if he was speaking. 'I love you.'
Save me now…