Author's Note: I am not one to leave notes before a story begins, but felt like opting for a change.
This story is one very close to my heart, for I believe that all relationships are complicated and there is no real manner to make them simple. Here's to confused hearts, the raging and blissful love and sheer beauty of it all.
This story is up for the March contest in the LJ comm and is on the theme 'Luck'. I debated on whether to post it now or after the results are announced but thought better of it , for my mental peace and all, and decided to publish now itself. Timing doesn't matter much.
I hope you enjoy it.
Happy reading!! ^__^
Dedicated to my soul sister Syazwani . :)
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Ryoutaro winced ; the young man's cool demeanor turning irritable at the slightest of mistakes causing his music to turn to noise. The piece wasn't that difficult, at least not to him.
He sighed and decided to call it a day. As he pulled down the cover of the keyboard , his eyes fell on a rather colorful envelope amongst the music sheets propped up on the piano's notation stand; too colorful against the score sheets, and he was left wondering how he could have missed it all morning.
He reached for it and tore open the envelope. Happy Anniversary!! scribbled in Kahoko's familiar miniscule handwriting. He smiled against himself. It was characteristic of her; instead of putting things of occasion in familiar places where the person in question would find them, she would always keep them amongst his regular items.
He looked out of the window, contemplating. It had been a long time since he and Kahoko were together, a long time since he had learnt that there is more in her heart than she revealed to him. He felt his thoughts returning, and the light from the afternoon sun did nothing to pull him out of them.
Was it sheer luck to have been acquainted with her in the first place?
Had he not been there when she was about trip down the stairs and snap her neck in two, he probably wouldn't have met her, even in heaven.
Was it a mere coincidence or a desire to be standing there on the same stage as her, to bring to life a part of him long buried, under the excuse of saving her reputation when her accompanist bailed out on her in the first selection?
He probably took to helping her out as an excuse to fulfill his own unbidden dreams and ambitions, but it was a not a decision that he regretted.
The other factors, desire, fate, coincidence and luck, probably had something to do with his meeting his wife but they didn't play too big a role, he resolved.
Luck. He had never been one to believe in it, for it never seemed to favor him one bit, but he had witnessed how good someone's luck can, how blessed a person can be by the Beings above, and the flip side of it as well.
Yunoki-senpai. Had everything one could ask for, except freedom. But he was surely one to twist fate to get one of the things closest to him, if not the most; his music.
Tsukimori—incredible talent, perfectionist, calm, famous and good looking. Had everything, except a life.
Kahoko stopped in her tracks and looked back at the apartment building she just left. She had finished work early and had given him a visit---the last one, for the time being.
She looked up at the clear sky; it was mid-afternoon. He loved her, but chose to keep the love to himself, and broke her heart.
She loved Ryoutaro, but it didn't feel complete always. Len seemed to make it complete. At least seemed to.
Intimacy was but a means of showing affection to your loved one, but somehow in her most vulnerable moments, intimacy worked wonders, even though she would hate to admit it.
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"Mmm," she crooned in his arms and buried herself in them, trying to reach for more warmth. More than his warmth she seemed to be wanting to rid herself of an unfamiliar feeling in her heart, causing her stomach to churn in the process.
The man in question, seemed to understand her predicament and stroked her hair idly, lost in thought.
Kahoko took in a few strands of his smooth blue hair in her hands and rubbed them unconsciously, feeling the texture and the unusual sense of comfort the method gave her. She rested her face, side-up, on his chest and glanced at him. Only to be caught by his gaze.
She looked at him fully and said, giving him a small smile, "You're supposed to be happy for me."
Len sighed. "I didn't say I aren't."
"You didn't say you are."
He stared back at her. "I am happy for you, Kahoko, but haven't you stopped to think what it makes you feel when you think about us? All three of us? Especially now?"
Kahoko looked at him bewildered. With a slight movement, she pried herself from his hold and sat up on the couch, saying, "I have, but we have come too far to let go, even now. Even in this situation."
Len followed suit and cupped his head in his hands, his voice a whisper an octave lower, "I..understand. But sometimes I wish there was no reason and I didn't have to give you that line right now."
Kahoko reached for him and kissed him. A long drawn out kiss, tongues clashing possessively, tasting each other leisurely, almost like it was a goodbye.
They both knew it wasn't; but it would have to do for now.
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"Is it a sin to love two men at the same time?" Kahoko asked, her voice trembling slightly.
Ryoutaro was surprised by the question nonetheless. "Yes and no. Yes, because society views it as infidelity and no, because it is your life and your decision, heck who cares whom you love as long as you love them right."
"But," he continued, "eventually, you have to choose one. For your sake and theirs."
Kahoko said nothing.
The next few days, Ryoutaro avoided her completely. He didn't take her calls, he avoided meeting her by making excuses and kept himself from feeling guilt. He always knew that she loved that cold-hearted perfectionist, but didn't quite expect her to ask him for his consent. He couldn't say anything; her life was hers after all.
Ten days later, amidst a storm, she came to him. It was late at night, he was bound to be home. She banged on the door frantically when he didn't answer on the first doorbell. When he opened the door at long last, he was stunned to silence.
Dripping as she was, the look she wore tore his heart to pieces; her face tear-ragged, her eyes holding those unshed.
She flung herself into his arms, sobbing openly when he wrapped his arms around her, mumbling apologies, while he fought to keep his own at bay, caressing her head, and soothing her, with words.
He vowed never to challenge her feelings again, having seen his own turmoil tear her apart. She would love both of them; it didn't mean she loved him any less. It just meant that he was not the only one in her heart.
He would have to accept that in time.
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Two pairs of arms wrapped around him and a face pressed to his back, taking in his scent, burying herself in the comfort of his muscular frame.
Ryoutaro reached behind him, a small smile on his lips, and pulled her to him, encasing her in his arms.
She bumped her forehead against his and brushed her lips against him, whispering, "Happy anniversary, love."
He smiled. "Happy anniversary, senora."
"We are pregnant."
He was startled to immobility, and stared back, gaping. And then, the widest of smiles graced his features.
He would never know what would have been like with just the two of them. Her love for them, his own complex feelings for Tsukimori, had kept him from delving into further complications.
But he knew that he wouldn't regret an inch of what they were now, because, he mused, as he picked her up and twirled her in the air, he would have wanted it exactly the way it is.
He was damn lucky to be loved.
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