Will was staring into the wall and thinking what to say next. Hannibal was just waiting, maybe he got used to this, to the silent, the waiting, not saying a word, only observing. At first it gave Will the creeps, he was not sued to sit in the shrink office patiently. But now he was comfortable with their silent. Deep down he hoped that maybe Hannibal wasn't analysing him like any other his patient, maybe he wasn't looking at Will like any other psycho. But the doctor was hard to read, even for Will, even after all this time.
"-I can't concentrate", Will admitted again, even thou he knew Hannibal already could sense it,
"-Does Jack keep pushing you to hard?", Hannibal's voice was professional and neutral as usual, but now it annoyed Will more than it did before,
"-No. Not more than usual", Will wasn't defending Jack, he wasn't trying to make himself look weaker, he...wasn't sure what he was saying. Will quickly stood up without waiting for Hannibal's insight and walked over to the table, where he hoped to see more of Hannibal's drawings. But he found none and it almost made him angry. Even thou Will almost never got angry, not without a very serious reason,
"-Will?", he ignored doctor's voice and walked over to the window, looking outside but not really seeing anything. "-William?", this time as Hannibal's voice was softer and caring, more personal, Will froze for a second trying to hear if Hannibal stood up from his chair, maybe he was walking towards him.
"-William?", he moved like some animal, silent and undetected, and his voice, now so much closer, almost scared Will. Doctor could make a good killer, stalking his prey and killing before the victim could realise what a hell happened.
"-I can't concentrate", Will repeated waiting until Hannibal would stand even more closer, he knew he will, it wasn't a question- if, it was a question- when.
"-Are you blaming me for your lack of concentration?", Will hated how still professional he could sound when he obviously was more caring and personal. It felt like Hannibal was pretending, like he never was just personal, like he always balanced on his professional line,
"-Am I some experiment to you?", Will couldn't help but ask, he hated how caring his voice sounded, how affected he was by the taller man. "-Am I just doctor's curiosity?", his voice almost cracked as he asked again ,but he couldn't handle the silent from Hannibal's side,
"-Is that what you think?", of course Hannibal would answer with the question, as a true shrink. Will swore if Hannibal would ask now- how does that make you feel, Will won't be responsible for his actions.
"-William", his softer voice indicated that maybe Hannibal saw Will's expression, maybe he used his shrink abilities and realised that he made a mistake.
"-I don't feel like continuing this session. Same time, next week?", he knew his voice sounded more sarcastic then he intended, but he couldn't help himself, Hannibal pushed his all the right buttons.
Will had to escape, so he stepped aside, intending to run from that man, but Hannibal's strong hand clasped on his smaller wrist.
"-Why don't you stay for dinner?", Will wanted to laugh at his face for his suggestion. Maybe doctor wasn't as smart as he pretended to be. But he stayed silent, not facing him, just looking ahead at the doors, like they were his safe-haven.
"-William", Hannibal said again softly, almost whispering as he stood directly behind William and pressed his front to William's back. The younger man stood still, trying to ignore his presents and pretend he was not at least affected by the body heat and strong expensive cologne, which filled his nostrils, like some aphrodisiac.
"-Did I said anything to make you upset?", doctor asked whispering into his ear and William was fighting hard not to shiver. He was not weak.
"-Let me go", William knew he didn't sounded very convincing, he himself wouldn't have believed, but he hoped Hannibal would take pity on him,
"-We both know, you don't want me too", this time a warm breathing to his ear, did made Will to shiver and it was no point in denying it. In responds Hannibal's other hand circled Will's waist and pressed him closer to himself. Now the body heat was even stronger, but he didn't noticed since all he could concentrate was the hard boner pressing against his ass.
"-Hannibal..", he wanted to add- Don't, but his voice didn't listen to him and his body was working on his own. He knew that all the signals screamed YES, when he wanted to shout NO. It was mistake. It shouldn't have happened in the first place, or at least didn't let to be repeated.
"-Yes?", Will's head was spinning and all he could focus on, was Hannibal's hand moving up and down his chest, and his hot breathing against his neck, and his lips caressing his sensitive skin. He stood still not able to move only feel while Hannibal could do anything to him, he wanted. He could manipulate him like a soft clay in his warm hands.
Will couldn't protest or stop him even if he wanted to. And he didn't wanted to. He wanted to relax and feel, to stop thinking and stressing, he wanted what Hannibal was offering him. And as the bigger hands were unbuttoning his shirts and moving under the fabric to feel his alabaster skin, he didn't thought how it was wrong anymore, he didn't tried to analyse if he broke any rules, he just simply didn't thought anymore.
He just stood there in the middle of the spacious office while the bigger hands removed one by one all of his clothes. Will closed his eyes feeling how soft wind caress made him shiver and ran goose-bumps all over his naked body. His breathing hitched when soft touches become more concentrated and instead of exploring his soft skin, it was deliberately touching his sensitive spots.
He didn't thought anymore that it was wrong for the other man to know those things about him, he didn't fought with himself cause it was male hands or it was the particular pair of hands. He didn't thought that The doctor, was not that kind of doctor.
Now he was thinking that he shouldn't have let it happen in the first place, but since he couldn't do much about it now, it was ok to continue. He thought that maybe he shouldn't have allowed this to happen on their session time, and should've waited until after, but it was too late to stop now.
He was contemplating if he was ok to be dominated, but he already ok-d that before and now he didn't wanted to think about it. Now he was allowed to just feel and being dominated allowed him to relax and forget everything else. Even if he had even less control of his life, even if he was giving himself up like some gift to the predator, to the man he barely knew. Maybe he shouldn't be so relaxed in his arms, but he was. And it felt good, too good to be having second thoughts now.
He was weighting if he was ok that he was completely naked, when the other man was still almost fully dressed. He was thinking if he was ok with the table under his naked chest, instead of the comfy chair or the coach, but it's not like Hannibal allowed him to chose. It was what meant to be dominated, he was suppose to follow and obey, stay quiet if asked.
He thought that maybe he should be thankful that Hannibal was so gentle with him, maybe he should have expected to be beaten, spanked, have marks and bruises. But Hannibal allowed him to see that devotion in his eyes, showing how much he cared and would never hurt him. Will was still disappointed that he wasn't allowed to see more in those maroon eyes.
"-Do you like it my William?", Hannibal's voice was colder than Will would have liked, but he liked enough to be called MY William, it was the sign, that Hannibal was talking personal with him, instead of professional. Will too wanted to have a special name for him.
"-Yes, Hannibal", Will had trouble breathing, let alone talking, but he obeyed, maybe he just liked to be talking instead of keeping the deadly silent. It felt more personal this way.
"-Louder, My William", Hannibal tug on his dark curls making him to gasp, but the pain was part of the pleasure and he moaned louder, trying to spell his lover's name.
"-HA..NNI..BAL", he shouted, trying harder, when Hannibal's hand clasped around his neck. he once again will have to wear a scarf or a turtle neck sweater to hide those purple marks. He wondered why he still wanted this and he was the one to ask for repeat. Maybe he was punishing himself, maybe he liked the pain, or maybe he didn't wanted for Hannibal to find someone else.
As the recently turned gay, he quite quickly become jealous and even possessive of his new lover. Never in his life he would've guessed he would enjoy male company in bed, that he would be the one asking for it after the first experience. He didn't wanted to think what made him to do it the first time. It felt like Hannibal could read his deepest desires, even he had no idea, he had them.
"-Please..", he didn't felt shame anymore begging for his release, Hannibal made him to lose that fare, Hannibal possessed his body, like it didn't belonged to Will anymore.
"-Hannibal..please", his throat hurt from the previous choking, but he didn't care in that particular moment. Will raised his head, bending his back like a cat, hoping to reach Hannibal's head, hoping to get a kiss. He couldn't even fight with himself about this anymore. He wanted a kiss. He wanted a kiss from a man, from Hannibal particularly. And he just raised his head opening his mouth, hoping to block his mind for now.
Hannibal's tongue entered his mouth with a force, not leaving any place or time for Will to breath, but he knew the price of what he was asking. Strong fingers tangled themselves in his messy curls once again and he couldn't even feel the pain, cause the pleasure overpowered him. And the next second, when tongue finally left his mouth, Will shouted his release, screaming with his hurting throat.
Strong hands released him from its hold and Will fall down on the hard table sweaty and sated. He didn't even tried to keep his eyes open, concentrating on his loud breathing only. When the hot body left his, Will felt empty, cold and lonely. He didn't felt used or cheap, and he felt thankful to Hannibal, that he didn't made him feel this way.
Strong hands raised him from the table and lift him up like child, holding him close in his arms by his muscled, clothed chest. Even if the material was expensive and soft, Will still hated that Hannibal was still dressed. He rested his head on his shoulder, inhaling the masculine sense, while he was taken to the bedroom and laid on the mattress.
"-Get rest and have a shower. I'll start on the dinner", Will would never admit that he hated resting and even showering alone. In his rational mind he knew they were not a couple, barely even lovers. Sure they had sex, fucked. But it was never a plan for the next time, never the assurance to expect it to continue. They were not together. Will barely knew the other man and it gave him uneasiness. Hannibal Lecter could be a serial killer for all he knew.
But there he was, yet again, resting on his Egyptian cotton, in his too dark bedroom, while Hannibal quickly cleaned himself up, changed into more casual clothes and left for the kitchen, to make yet another spectacular dinner, like some professional chef. He even made Will to eat meat, he haven't eaten for 15years until Hannibal showed up in his life.
Will wasn't sure if he liked Hannibal's bedroom. It was dark and huge, with expensive art hanging on the walls, with too hard curtains and lots of drawers against the huge closet. It all seemed so mysterious, even scary. Maybe because Will never spend a night here, he didn't felt welcome, but even if he did, Will was too different, too out of place.
The bathroom was too big, shower too spacious, everything so perfect, light and cold. He felt even more lonely being there. Even too hot water didn't help him, even after too much soap he didn't felt enough clean, he wasn't sure anymore if he liked smelling like Hannibal's expensive soaps. Even the towels smelled like that man, but the material was too soft comparing with his rough hands.
Will found his clothes folded on the bed, and also extra pair of pants and a t-shirt, if he didn't wanted to wear his clothes. They weren't dirty, Will changed before coming there, beside's Will was completely naked before they even started fucking. But being such perfectionist Hannibal still acted thoughtfully.
This time, for the very first time, he chose the extra clothes, probably belonging to Hannibal, even if Will had hard time imagining Hannibal wearing sweatpants. T-shirt was a bit too big, and pants a bit too long, but it was soft and comfy, will felt more like at home.
"-Dinner not done yet, but I could make some quick snacks, if you hungry", Hannibal said without even raising his eyes at Will, when he stepped inside the kitchen area,
"-I'm good", Will whispered not trusting his words, he was kind of afraid of Hannibal's reaction seeing him in those clothes, even if he left them on his free will,
"-Does your throat bothering you?",Hannibal asked probably because of his whisper and finally raised his yes to Will's. He just shook his head, not knowing how to react to the unemotional Hannibal's face,
"-Would you like some wine then?", Hannibal asked again, not breaking their eye contact and Will felt like he was being monitored, studied. Hannibal had an ability to be intimidating not even doing anything,
"-Yes please", Will whispered like he was still Hannibal's toy, his submissive. It was unnerving, but he didn't knew how to shake it off. Suddenly out of nowhere Hannibal smiled half lips, which made him to look younger and Will breathed out a relief. The atmosphere felt warmer now and Will allowed himself to smile back a bit. His hand a bit shook when he took a glass from Hannibal and it made him blush a little. He really hoped the taller man didn't noticed that.
The time until dinner was finished they spend mostly in silent. Hannibal asked a bit about his current case but Will didn't felt like talking about it, it was after all, after their session time and Hannibal hardly knew how to stop being a psychiatrist and especially his shrink.
"-You do know that I'm not your official psychiatrist. You don't have to be afraid to tell me something, what's bothering you", Hannibal started again and Will fought not to sigh or roll his eyes.
"-Is it so much to ask that we would dine like friends?" ,Will asked hoping to be understood, "-You're now acting like Jack does", he avoided Hannibal's eyes when he talked, "- Pretending to be friends, when in reality you're monitoring me professionally", Will hoped his voice was not cold and harsh, like it sounded inn his head,
"-I didn't meant to make you feel this way. And I'm not pretending to be your friend William", Hannibal's voice was softer and warmer than his professional one. It gave a feeling like it was some fort of casual and intimate. Will was not sure yet if he was ok or not with that.
Dinner was good as always, wine strong, they kept some small talk, even made each other smile and suddenly Will felt like it was less like dinner between friends, and more like a date. It was unusual feeling.
"-I noticed you chose to wear the clothes I left you", Hannibal's words made him thinking that it was some hidden meaning behind that, maybe he should've thought more before wearing them,
"-Is that a problem?", Will asked trying to stay calm, but he avoided his eyes and took a dig sip of wine,
"-No, of course not", Hannibal's soft voice did nothing to calm Will's nerves, "-You just never did that before", Will hoped that upcoming blush to his neck wasn't visible,
"-I thought...it was rude not to...maybe I should've... wore clean clothes for dinner... other's time too", his voice was uneven, too nervous not to be noticed. He suddenly lost his appetite but didn't wanted to offend Hannibal for not eating.
"-Oh..", Hannibal's reaction made him to look up at him surprised, doctor never did such slip ups before,
"-Did you...", Will stopped mid sentence, not sure why he wanted to ask in the first place,
"-Did I what William?", Hannibal was once again put up together and Will felt like an idiot,
"-Did...Have you ever...", Will felt a deep blush reddening his neck before he even managed to finish the sentence, "-Have you ever had sex with a man before?", Will finally asked in a low whisper, ashamed he even asked that.
"-I did", Hannibal didn't seemed troubled answering but Will still kept his eyes down, "-Have you?", now Will was deep red ashamed to admit that he hadn't. even if there was nothing to be ashamed about, but it would mean that Hannibal ...took his virginity?, that was kid of embarrassing.
Will finally managed to shook his head and felt a deep urge to run away. Why he had to ask Hannibal that. Did he wanted to know if he was gay, or that maybe to him Will was the only one too. Whatever the reason, Will was regretting it now.
"-Does that bothering you?", Hannibal asked softly and Will couldn't really decide if it was,
"-It was long time ago, if you wondered", Hannibal added and maybe it was helpful, but Will still couldn't face Hannibal, he just sipped his wine and pushed food inside his plate,
"-It wasn't anything serious. Nothing close to a relationship", Hannibal's words made him to finally look at his maroon eyes. He hated how unreadable the other man was.
"-Is ours?", Will asked seriously and he guessed that his voice sounded a bit mocking or sarcastic, he wasn't sure how Hannibal will react to his tone. He didn't wanted to sound so caring, so affected,
"-It can, if you would want to", Hannibal's suggestion pushed him out of balanced. Was it really what he wanted, was it why he acted this way. Will was afraid to analyse himself.
"-Why don't you stay a night. You don't have to decide right away", Hannibal suggested like he just simply offered more wine. His expression was still unreadable and Will felt a bit lost. He wanted to know if Hannibal cared about his decision, if he was affected at all of what he would say. Will didn't wanted to think that Hannibal was ok with either answer.
They finished their dinner and desert in silent, Will just simply lost an ability to talk and Hannibal seemed to enjoy the silent. When they finished eating Hannibal took dishes to the sink and Will walked back upstairs. He talked himself that he will simply change into his old clothes but he didn't. He set on Hannibal's bed in only his underwear contemplating if Hannibal was waiting for him to came back down or if he was going to join Will in the bedroom.
Will still sit there with his clothes next to him on the bed, when Hannibal finally walked inside the bedroom. He smiled half lips at Will, but his smile didn't reached his eyes, and walked straight to the bathroom. Will still waited not knowing what to do. The other man came back from the bathroom with his pyjama pants on and Will was thankful he didn't chose to be naked. Hannibal took Wills' clothes from him and put them away on the small chair standing nearby.
Hannibal made the decision for him, but he didn't fought it. Will just stood up and walking around the bed, slowly got under the covers. He still wasn't sure about it, but he knew Hannibal won't push him fiercely and he could always say no.
The silent was almost deathly, but Will couldn't form a word. He was too nervous and only hoped Hannibal won't notice his shivering. As Hannibal killed all the lights and was slowly walking back to bed, Will was thinking if he was ready to have sex or not. This time was different for the others. They never fucked in bed before and Will wasn't sure if he could call it fucking anymore.
Even in the dark Hannibal managed to be intimidating, but seeing him in a only loose pyjama pants, Will had to admit, he was an attractive man. With his lean skinny body and messy curls, Will suddenly felt not handsome enough. Maybe to the women he was cute and attractive but tom men? he wasn't sure anymore. Now he felt to conscious about himself.
"-William?", turning to Hannibal's voice he suddenly was aware of him in the bed too, right next to him, staring deep into his eyes. Will's breathing hitched, he started sweating, somehow it felt more like a first time,
"-William", Hannibal repeated softer and his big hand softly caressed Will's face, they were inches apart and Will found himself holding his breath. After a long staring, Hannibal slowly leaned in and kissed his lips, like testing waters. Will uncontrollably closed his eyes and kept them closed while Hannibal kissed him again, but stronger, putting more pressure on his lips. They breathing tangled together as Hannibal sucked on Will's lover lip, making him to part them and uncontrollably welcome Hannibal's tongue inside.
He was softer, more gentle and more patient then he was before with Will and it made the younger man more eager. Not he wanted to know what it will be like, he wasn't afraid anymore. Hannibal's hands held him close, caressing his skin softly, like he touched him for the first time and it made Will to shiver at the feeling. His hands in return reached for his lover, caressing his silky ash blond hair, touching his muscled hairless chest.
Their kiss become more intense, tongue battling, exploring each other's hot wet mouth, hands roaming each other's body and Will almost breathed a relief when Hannibal finally rolled him over onto his back, before hovering over him and catching his mouth in a kiss yet again. That time Hannibal was more gentle, more patient and Will thought that maybe they were making love for the first time. It was a different territory, undiscovered for them and Will was becoming more and more excited about it.
He didn't thought about them together as a relaxation, as a stress relief, a gaining and losing control, like he did before. Now he allowed himself to think the possibility of them being together for real, even of them dating. Will never thought he could be with someone like this, he thought he was too broken for it, but maybe Hannibal was what he was missing, waiting, needing.
Will welcomed Hannibal inside him with need, his hands caressing his beautiful face and masculine forearms, he silently asked for a kiss and breathed a happy relief when he tasted those sculptured raspberry lips. His legs shook clasping around the masculine back, toes curling in itself at the intense pleasure. As their eyes kept locked in a strong look, he felt safer and closer to someone, than he ever did in his life before.