"Just one hit," Cosima suggested to the woman she had met earlier that week. Doctor Lauren Lewis had been a guest speaker in Cosima's Model Organisms class at the University of Minnesota. Cosima had taken a chance and approached Lauren after class.
"Doctor Lewis?" Cosima had asked as she approached the woman.
"Cocina, right?" Lauren had said slowly, unsure if she had remembered the girl's name correctly.
"Cosima, actually," the dreadlocked girl had corrected Lauren politely.
"Cosima," Lauren had repeated.
"Let's go get coffee," Cosima had suggested after a minute or so of small talk. "I'd love to pick your brain about genetics." Lauren had pursed her lips, squinted her eyes, and cocked her head slightly to the side without responding. "Just coffee and genetics," Cosima assured her.
They had spent the entire evening drinking coffee and speaking of genetics while sitting cross legged on the floor of Cosima's apartment. They had spent every day together since then. Lauren had attended Cosima's classes with her and they had spent hours processing everything. They had watched documentaries about evolutionary biology. They had watched videos of TED talks on the internet. After a few days they had opened up and had begun to divulge information about their own lives.
And with every passing second Cosima had been able to feel herself falling harder and harder for Doctor Lauren Lewis. And she hadn't been able to quell the feeling that perhaps Lauren was feeling the same way.
"I really shouldn't," Lauren declined. "I haven't smoked in several years. Since I was in college."
"Well, I'm in college now," Cosima offered. "So smoke with me."
Lauren shook her head and laughed at herself before taking the lit joint from Cosima's fingers, bringing it to her mouth, and inhaling.
"You didn't even cough," Cosima said with a smile.
"I said I haven't smoked since college," Lauren started, "I didn't say I only smoked once. How do you think I came up with my hypothesis about recessive traits?"
"You are kind of perfect, did you know that?" Cosima said as she let out a small laugh.
"I," Lauren started to speak but was unable to continue. Cosima moved closer to Lauren, her eyes fluttering between Lauren's lips and eyes. She drew slightly closer and Lauren pulled away.
"I can't," Lauren said, withdrawn.
"It's been over two years, Lauren." Cosima said.
The previous night a bottle of white wine had led a path to a conversation about Nadia. Lauren had felt awful having to lie about parts of it in order to leave out the secrets of the Fae. She had wanted to share such an important thing with her new friend so she did what she could, leaving out the details she needed to, fabricating aspects she needed to.
"Over two years," Lauren repeated in a soft voice. It had been so long. She didn't realize until meeting Cosima how lonely she had been. But feeling close to someone else scared her. "I have to leave tomorrow."
"I know," Cosima admitted. "But it doesn't matter."
"Why not?" Lauren asked.
Cosima inhaled, closed her eyes, and thought for a few seconds before speaking.
"Because I love you," Cosima said, sounding like a scared child. She realized what she was saying and laughed out loud. "I don't even believe in love! What's wrong with me?"
"I," Lauren started but Cosima cut her off.
"Don't," Cosima said as she exhaled. "Either you say one thing and I die inside because you are leaving tomorrow... Or you say another thing and I die because you are here now.
"I," Lauren tried to interject.
"Please, Lauren. Don't." Cosima said. "We have tonight, so just kiss me."
And she did.