Story: Try Again.
POV: Roxas.
Chapter: 18 entitled "Try Again."
In place of POV: Naminé
Title: "Nightterrors."
Roxas slammed his closet door then flinched, looking up towards the direction of the stairs in case Naminé might have heard. The grey coat he took from the rack he slipped over his thin but muscular arms, shivering slightly because of the cold air circulating through his spacious house. For the last week or so his air-conditioner had gotten
jammed on AUTO, and it came on at the most un-convenient hours for Roxas.
Oh well, he shrugged. Naminé probably didn't even notice.
Humming a tune that was stuck in his head (stupid Hayner) he shuffled into his olrustic-style kitchen, not feeling like picking up his feet. He passed the hall mirror as he went by, and couldn't help from stopping to stare. He frowned and pulled at his blonde spikes with his fingers, pulling them in random directions that he thought might make it look less... spiky.
It didn't work. They flopped obnoxiously back in front of his face with a mocking little flip, then just lay there in about a million different directions. He sighed and kept walking, silently cursing himself for worrying over something like his hair.
Roxas saw the freezer and yanked it open, scanning the contents with his navy eyes. He reached deep inside and pulled out two blue bars, then brushed some flaky ice off the arm of his sweatshirt.
"Huh, Naminé, would you like sea salt ice flavor or... Sea salt ice flavor?" he said aloud, looking at both. Immediately he regretted saying it and groaned in disgust, shaking his sleeves over his hands and shutting the freezer door. Without much notice of what he was doing he started walking towards the direction of the stairs.
"This is stupid." he sighed to himself. Slowly he trudged up each step, kicking off his shoes at the top and leaving them by the door. Inside he knew that Naminé wasn't really having a good night, and he also knew that the absolute last thing she probably wanted to see was him. With sea salt ice cream, of all things.
Then he stopped in the hall, remembering something. Sea salt ice. He recalled her talking about eating it when she was a girl...
Maybe it wasn't stupid, he tried to assure himself. He opened the door to his room and saw that his bedside lamp was flickered off. Cautiously he took a step forward and jammed his foot against something jagged that was protruding from under his door.
From the light of the hall he saw his collection of baseballs (memories), broken skateboards (memories too precious to throw away), and Sora's magazines (memories he was meaning to throw away anyway) shoved into the corner. And the rest of his floor...
Was nowhere to be seen. "Damn, Naminé, what did you do to my floor?" He shouted.
He heard her moan and roll over on the ground. From what he could see the entire floor was covered with the contents of his bed. Naminé had thrown all of his blue pillows in a sort of circled nest thing- and his comforters were tossed together in a large heap of material. In the middle of it Namine lay, turned away from him, her flaxen blonde hair cascaded down her back.
He closed the door and dropped to the ground, closing the few feet between them on the ground. "Something wrong with my bed?" he sighed.
"Yeah." he heard her mumble. "It's your bed."
He thought about this for a second. "Point taken." he felt around with his hand, asking where she was. With a thrust of his arm he hit her. Hard.
Uh oh. Hope that wasn't her face...
"God, Roxas!" she shouted. "Are you in here for a reason?"
He sat back, feeling the ice cream start to drip down his quivering hand. "Well it is my room, remember." he retorted.
An especially large glob of frosty ice cream rolled down Roxas' hand, he twitched at the ice and it accidently flung in Naminé's direction.
She screamed, like he had anticipated. "What is that?" she wiped it away.
"Ice cream." he said to her black silhouette.
"Right." she laughed blankly. "It's just ice cream." Defensively Roxas threw his arms in front of his face, blocking her sudden blows. "Why did you bring ice cream in here in the dark?" she hit him with one of his pillows.
"Hey!" he put his hands in front of his face again. "Stop!"
He saw her put the pillow down and fall into it. She buried her pale face in it, slightly illuminated by the open window's moonlight.
Roxas just watched her for a while. Then he took a thin finger and poked her in the shoulder. He asked her for some ice cream and waved the dripping, sweet popsicle in front of her.
"No!" she said, pushing his hand away.
He had been expecting that. He tried again. "Eat it, Naminé." he tried to insist, looking at her skinny frame. It looked like she hadn't eaten properly in at least a few days. If she didn't start soon he'd have a serious problem on his hands.
But she said nothing.
Roxas demanded, "Eat the Sea-Salt Ice." to her face.
She groaned loudly into the pillow, her hair rustling on the fabric. "Why?"
He repeated to her his thoughts, ending with the obvious problem of her dying in his home. His adopted convincing tone must have worked somehow, because she sat up and rubbed her blue eyes. He couldn't help but staring at them... They sparkled brightly by the light outside. She reached out her hand in the dark and found his hand, brushing her fingers lightly against his as she took the popsicle. It made his skin grow hot.
She took a bite and seemed to decide on her take of the
memory and the gesture. She seemed to like it though, because she
thanked him for it and then slowly laid back down.
"Mm hm." he nodded his welcome, then ran his hand through his hair. He fell down on the ground next to her, keeping about a foot's distance between them to be safe.
Roxas just lay there for a long time next to her, thinking. Neither of them said anything or got up to leave. They just lay there.
After awhile Naminé stirred next to him. "I wish you had glow-in-the-dark stars, too." she mumbled absentmindedly as she stared thoughtfully at the ceiling, her eyes cloudy.
Roxas pulled his sweatshirt sleeves farther up his arms and turned on his side, facing her. "They're not that great." he smiled, remembering the night he had worked up the courage to show her the real stars.
"Better than darkness." she replied flatly. She was silent for a moment, her eyes flashing back and forth across the room. She shivered.
"Are you cold?" he asked, noticing this immediately.
in the dark he saw her shake her head no, but pull the covers over her thin arms anyway.
He smiled. "Yeah, you are."
She insisted that she was fine then and rolled on her side, facing away from him. For a minute she was very quiet. He expected her to say something, but just watched as her body grew limp and slump down into the covers. Oh no. His mind imagined the worst. Had she finally died from malnutrition?
In a sort of dazed panic he leaned over her. "Naminé?" he whispered in her ear.
She snapped her head up quickly. "What?" she snapped.
He sighed in relief. Suddenly something pinched his insides and he had an impulse to ask her something. He wasn't going to get a better time.
He pulled her up out of laying down. He saw her blink several times, adjusting to the lack of light. He came to the conclusion that she had been trying to fall asleep, which would explain why she snapped at him. "What are you doing?" she asked him.
He had to say it. He swallowed his doubts and asked her, "Do you remember what I asked you when we broke up?"
After he said it he realized it sounded odd and extraordinarily out of place.
He gave her credit for trying, though. "Can I have my stuff back?" she replied.
"No." he shook his head quickly. "After that."
She was silent. From the outside light Roxas saw her pale, pretty face morph into an expressionless, emotionless remembrance. "Try again." was all she whispered.
He scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, that..."
Through the dark he heard her ask him why. He didn't answer her right away. He couldn't. Trying to think of what to say, he shifted uncomfortably on the floor. "You never... answered me." he finally sighed sadly.
"I know." her head fell.
He wished she would just speak to him. She was a hard girl to decipher; and he was the only one who knew a way to do it. But sometimes he could tell she didn't say the things that were on her mind. Impulsively, he did something.
Taking her hand, he wrapped his arm around her small waist and leaned towards her. He had really missed kissing her; and now she was so close. He felt her breathe sharply and move towards him woozily, like she was only half-awake. About halfway through a part of him realized that this was a bad idea, but it didn't matter. His heart was guiding him now. And right now, his heart really wanted to kiss her. He pressed his lips against hers...
This seemed to snap Naminé out of her stupor. She pulled away steadily.
But he didn't really catch this. He felt himself still leaning towards Naminé until she pressed her palm against his chest, stopping him. "Roxas, no."
Roxas didn't move. "Yeah." he said quietly. He knew it was stupid, he shouldn't have even come up here.
It was just the same as always.
"I'm sorry." Naminé hastened to say. "I can't..."
"Okay." he lowered his head and stood, his voice full of discouragement and his heart full of disappointment. He felt ridiculous for thinking that Naminé still felt that way.
It was almost unbearable, but he stood up and went to the door, the last thing he saw being Naminé's astonished and beautiful face, right before he shut it.
He stood against the frame in the hall, slumping down against the door. He cursed himself for being so ignorant: driven by his feelings. He hastily sniffed back a few tears, scanning the hallway just in case anyone saw. A dust bunny, maybe.
God, he had to clean up his life.
Roxas jolted awake and looked at the clock next to his face. It read, 1:45. He looked around and found himself sprawled across the kitchen table, his face smashed into the napkin dispenser. He felt his cheek and discovered a large leaf-shaped indentation. The kitchen was pitch black; he looked over to see that the bright living room lamp had
burnt out and he was in complete darkness, save for the flashing red numbers in front of his eyes. He had fallen asleep here, a pen in his hand and a crumpled up, clean white piece of paper under his chest.
But he heard screaming. Lots of screaming.
Naminé.
He jumped up much too quickly, making his eyes flash white. He steadied himself on his stair post and blinked. Glancing down, he
noticed an absence of something. He grabbed a random pair of sweats and pulled them over his boxers, then jumped up the stairs by twos, tripping as he went.
The screaming grew louder as he got higher up the stairs. He slammed against the side wall next to his door in haste then threw it open. "Naminé!" he shouted.
Naminé was in the middle of the floor; her blankets scattered around her and a comforter wrapped tightly around her waist. Her camisole had twisted around so it was almost backwards. She was struggling with something that he couldn't see, and from the looks of it she was dead asleep.
Even as he opened the door she did not wake up, but just kept yelling.
He bent down on one knee and shushed her. "Shh, Naminé, it's okay." (Though honestly this type of situation had never come up before, so he didn't really know what to do. The daring Book for Boys should have prepared him for this).
Naminé kept yelling and flailing her arms. She was breathing hard. "Roxas! Roxas.." she exclaimed in her sleep.
"I'm right here, Naminé." he insisted, and put his arms around her waist, pulling her up to his chest.
She struggled for a moment but seemed to calm down in his arms. "Roxas..."
"It's okay." he whispered, running his hands through her soft hair. She didn't wake, but her breathing was coming in raspy, uneven breaths. "I'm here."
He sat back on the floor in the darkness, and cradled her in his arms
until she calmed down completely. He unraveled her from the blanket
and rested her back upon it, laying down next to her and looking at
the ceiling.
It was very quiet for a minute, and all that could be heard was Roxas' quickly beating heart and the steady sound of Naminé's breathing. He looked over at her. She looked serene and peaceful staring at the ceiling, with her dainty eyes shut tight, mouth slightly open. He smiled.
After a long time Roxas sighed, knowing he could not stay. As he was getting up Naminé said something in her sleep. He stopped to listen.
"Roxas... I lo... I love... Love you.." she mumbled, almost indistinguishably.
Roxas stood at the doorway and listened, then slowly closed the door shut without a sound. Once again he slumped down against the doorframe and smiled broadly.
"I'm not giving up on you yet, Naminé." he said.
Haha, deleted scene! Maybe I'll have a couple more of these along with the epilouge.
Hope you like~