I don't own Criminal Minds or anything even remotely related to the show. You can see why.
Revenge of the Drag Queen
by Scintillating Tart
Shopping was a necessary evil. He needed new shoes; unfortunately, he'd asked Penelope to come along with him. Now his search for a sensible pair of slip-on leather loafers had been supplanted by his Baby Girl's desire for the gaudiest high heels on the planet.
"This one or this one?" she asked, holding up two display shoes. One had straps, one did not. Otherwise, they were identical glittery messes that he was amazed she could walk in.
He pointed to the one with a strap – maybe it would hold her in.
"You're the best, Hot Stuff!" she cried.
Never again.