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Parking the bike to the side, I pulled out the map. I knew how far I was away from him. I always knew how far I was from him. He wasn't just married to me, but he was a part of my soul and in my blood. Hell I have his name tattooed on me. Of course it was just ink. Something I got quite often. But to us, it meant a lot more. I was his and his alone. There was no one else. Not even after I left. Of course I was hit on. Hell I'm a blond biker bombshell that was traveling alone. You know one of those you see in magazines. However, after being away from someone you love so much; you become an empty shell. I had become that empty shell driving. The silence drove me insane. All I heard was the words he said in the wind. The roar of the engine was just a hum. Soon the darkness of the road was bright with a blinking bar light. Stopping at the place, I parked the bike on the side of the building.

I took a stool at the bar and ordered a crown from the bartender. "Keep them coming" I said. The dreary voice didn't even sound like mine. My focus was on the mirror behind the bar. Lifting up the tumbler to my lips, my eyes watched the other people in the bar laugh and have fun. Their voices were just a murmur in the silent dark I was mentally in.

"Hey Lady, you ok?" the bartender called out to me as I was drowning myself in some Crown.

"I'm fine. Pour me another. Never mind, just give me the bottle."

"You got the money for that?" His brow lifted and slides the bottle across the bar.

Slamming the hundred down on the bar, the same hand grabbed the bottle and started to drink from there.

The bartender mumbled something about not being responsible for when I got back on the bike and how crazy us "bikers" were. I glared his direction and he quickly shut up. Yeah I was drinking but I didn't care. I wanted to be numb. I didn't want to feel that I was missing Tig. How my heart was aching without him next to me or arguing with me over something stupid.

Someone bumped into me as they took the stool directly to my right. "Hey pretty lady. Can I buy you a drink?" his voice distant but still there. I just gave him that look. It was the look that no man really wanted.

"I'm sure you're nice and all. However, you fuck with me and you have fucked with an entire club. That's including my hit man of a husband." I got up with the bottle in my hand to take the last drink. Finishing it off and slamming it back down on the bar; I left him standing there along with the empty bottle of Crown Royal.

I was clearly too drunk to even drive as I stumbled out of the bar and back to the bike. Yet I was too determined to numb myself enough to drive back to town. To him. To the man I gave my heart to and will never get back. I didn't care what he was or who he was. Just that I needed him back in my life and by my side. Starting up the bike, I tried to walk it away from the building. Nearly falling over I heard the same guy run after me.

"Whoa pretty lady. You sure you can drive that thing?"

Looking over my shoulder, all I could see was him. "I got it Tig. Don't you worry about me." I responded to the guy who stood there in a daze. Sitting down on the bike, I finally got it moving down the road. I had another 200 miles on the desert road before getting there. I was a drunken mess. I kept saying to myself; "Just 200 miles to go and then you can tell him how much you miss him."

The road was cold, empty and dark. The only thing I had to guide me was the stars above and the occasional voice of Tig telling me he had a job to do and he'd be home soon. The gentle kiss and a grab of the ass always happened before he left. The dust I left him in as I left because he chose to be what he is. It was my fault. It was my entire fault.

The bike started to sway back and forth.

Squealing tires echoed in the night sky.

I was looking up to the stars.

The bike's headlight was shining on me while it lay on its side.

I was too exhausted and closed my eyelids.

Miles away from where he was.

I prayed something picked me up and just laid me in his warm arms as I lay in the blood saturated cold ground.