Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or anything associated with it.
Hope you guys enjoy! It's not long but I've had this stuck in my head for days so I needed to get it out! Would love to hear some feedback!
I look at the pale, tired girl staring back at me from the mirror. Dark circles ring my eyes, bruises and scrapes cover my arms from the magical and physical assaults I've endured over the last few days. I look weary and worn. Heck, I am weary and worn, which is something no 17 year old should be able to say. Being pulled into this world of vampires and doppelgangers and witches, it's been dizzying and a constant uphill battle for Stefan and me to just be together. Then Katherine came along… and, as if she wasn't bad enough, apparently a whole other set of enemies lie beyond the borders of Mystic Falls. Just the thought makes me tired.
I put my toothbrush back in the holder and glance over the bruises and cuts that I wouldn't let Stefan heal. They are a reminder of what I've been through, of what I've faced and overcome. They make me feel strong, in some way. Even when I'm not at all, like now.
I walk back into my bedroom, ready to go to sleep and sleep for a year, though I guess until tomorrow will have to do.
"Cute PJs."
I stop at the familiar voice to look up to see Damon sitting in front of my window, his blue eyes appraising me in a way that makes me feel naked.
Really? I just want to go to bed.
"I'm tired, Damon."
He stands and walks over towards me with his hand raised. It takes me a minute to realize that my vervain necklace is dangling between his fingers.
"Brought you this." He says, holding it up so I can see it better.
"I thought that was gone. Thank you."
He doesn't respond but, when I reach for it, he pulls it back from my grasp.
"Please, give it back."
"I just have to say something."
Oh, no.
"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?"
He stops short, like he's not sure how to respond.
"Well… because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life."
Oh.
"Damon… Don't go there."
"No, I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it."
He takes another step towards me, trapping my body heat between us. I know I should pull away and insist that he not do this… it feels like a betrayal. But I can't bring myself I say anything I know I should. All I can do is look into his ice blue eyes, mesmerized.
"I love you, Elena. And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you… why you can't know this. I don't deserve you. But my brother does."
The heartache so prominent in his words is still ringing in my ears and I can feel tears threatening to spill over. His words say he doesn't deserve me but his actions prove otherwise and it leaves me with a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. I shouldn't feel this way. It's wrong. My heart shouldn't skip a beat when he leans in to kiss my forehead, but it does. I shouldn't close my eyes and lean into him, but I do. I shouldn't want to close the distance between us and feel his lips on mine, but I can't help myself.
Too soon, he pulls away and I open my eyes to look into his again, willing him to feel the emotions bursting from my chest, to hear all the things I'm not able to say to him. He just looks back into my eyes, his own rimmed with tears and a sadness that makes my heart hurt.
"God, I wish you didn't have to forget this."
What? No… No.
"But you do."
I watch the pupils of his eyes expand and contract as Elijah's had earlier… I wait for the memories of Damon's lips on my forehead to dissipate, but they don't. The feel of his kiss, the impact of his words… I remember everything. Before I can register what's happening, though, he's clasped the necklace back around my neck and disappeared out the window.
How? Why? I don't understand… his compulsion should have worked. For whatever reason, though, it didn't and I'm stuck with this feeling his confession left me with. Not because I don't want him to feel that way, which is what I should be thinking. Instead, though, I feel guilty and… kind of happy.
I sit down on my bed, no longer tired, and stare at a blank spot on my wall.
What am I going to do?