A/N: I began thisbefore the fall finale aired, so it is slightly AU. Inspiration for this story came from a prompt by ThisLadyWrites, "How are Shandy spending their first Christmas together?" and a response by Tumblr user lieutenantkathrynjaneway, "On Christmas Eve, Sharon and Andy dancing in the dark with just the Christmas lights on while Emily, Ricky, and Rusty are out watching Star Wars." This story is self-edited, so all mistakes are my own.
Disclaimer: The title for this fic is taken from the song by Sara Bareilles of the same name, as is the line below in italics. If you've never heard the song, I recommend searching for the fan vid on YouTube by xx-nieno "Love is Christmas – Sharon Raydor & Andy Flynn" that uses it. As always, these aren't my characters, I'm just borrowing them for this story. They will be returned unharmed.
Love is Christmas by Kate Rosen
Love is who we are, and no season can contain it. Love would never fall for that.
"Have a good time!" Sharon called to her three children as they headed down the hallway toward the elevator. Nicole had surprised them all with tickets to see the new Star Wars movie when they had gone over to her and Dean's place for Christmas brunch this morning. Nicole and her older step-son Matthew would be meeting them at the theater. Sharon had known about the surprise in advance, because Nicole had asked if she and Andy would be interested in joining them or if they would rather have some time to themselves on Christmas night. She had thanked Nicole profusely, but after discussing it with Andy, they had opted for the alone time. Nicole had figured as much, and had insisted that it would be a good sibling bonding experience for all of them. Sharon's heart warmed at the thought of Nicole referring to her children as siblings. They really had felt like one big family today, and she knew Andy had sensed it, too.
"Are you going to stand there all night?" the low timbre of Andy's voice in her ear brought Sharon back to the present moment as his arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her against him. She relaxed back into his embrace. Yes, she had certainly made the right decision in not going to the movies with their children, she thought to herself. Although she hated to have Ricky and Emily leave when they were in town for such a short while, it was good for them to spend time with Rusty. And, to be able to have Andy hold her like this without worrying about who was watching or what their reactions would be, well, she couldn't think of a better way to spend Christmas night.
"Hmmm," she hummed, enjoying the warmth of his embrace and the scent of him all around her. "I was just thinking about today and how wonderful it's been." She closed the door and turned to face him, placing her hands on his chest and smiling up at the face staring down at her.
"Would you care to dance?" he asked.
"Here? In the living room?"
"It's not often we get the opportunity to dance. Please?"
He had a point. They'd danced at Nicole's wedding, and at the charity event at the Japanese-American museum, but both instances had been over a year ago. They hadn't yet had the opportunity to dance since they'd started officially dating. And she did enjoy dancing, especially with him. "All right," she replied with a smile.
He took her hand and led her to the open area behind the couch. The stereo had been playing instrumental Christmas music all evening, but with the sound of conversation going on, she had completely forgotten about it. The lights were all off except for the Christmas tree and the brightness of the full moon shining in through the balcony windows, and she had to admit that it was quite the romantic setting.
As Sharon rested her head on Andy's chest and they began to slowly sway in time with the music, her mind drifted off once more. She couldn't remember a more perfect Christmas. Yes, she and Jack had had some good holidays when they were first married or when the kids were very small, but not in a very long time had she been able to relax and enjoy a Christmas as much as she had today. Of course, it helped that they had not been called into work since they had left on Wednesday afternoon. Ricky and Emily had both been able to fly in last weekend, and it was such a joy to have all three of her children under one roof for almost an entire week.
Last night, all of her children, along with Andy, had accompanied her to Midnight Mass, which was one of her favorite Christmas traditions ever since she was a little girl. The candlelight service was beautiful, and it was so nice to be able to share it with her family.
This morning, Nicole had invited them all over for brunch at 11. At first Sharon had worried that Andy's daughter was going to too much trouble, but Nicole had insisted that it was easiest for her to host so that her boys could stay in their pajamas as long as they wanted and play with their new toys without being forced to get dressed and go out somewhere. She, Dean and the boys had plans to see Nicole's mother and stepfather for dinner at 4:00, but she had wanted to make sure to see her father and Sharon's family as well.
They'd had a lovely time. Emily had chatted with Nicole and the boys about dance, and Ricky and Nicole's husband Dean had bonded over their mutual interests in baseball and craft beer. Rusty floated between conversations. Having spent time with Nicole and the boys, as well as Ricky and Emily, he seemed the most comfortable of any of them.
Even Andy's son Drew had stopped by Nicole's with his girlfriend Sarah. Sharon could tell that Andy was positively bursting with pride as he introduced Ricky and Emily to his son. They were still mending their relationship, but today had definitely been a positive step forward for both of them.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Andy whispered in her ear.
She smiled against his chest before lifting her head to meet his eyes. "Just thinking about today."
"Good things?" he asked.
"Yes, of course. It has been a wonderful Christmas. Don't you agree?"
"One of the best I've ever had," he answered with a smile, as he moved closer to softly kiss her lips, then her cheek. "In fact," he whispered in her ear, "right now I can't think of any that have been better than this." They swayed to the music for another minute or so until the song ended and Andy pulled away from her slightly. "Let's sit," he said, nodding toward her couch. "I have something that I want to give you."
Sharon let him lead her to the sofa, but she protested, "no more gifts, Andy. You've spoiled me enough already today."
Sharon awoke early Christmas morning to the smells of freshly-brewed coffee and frying bacon. Intrigued, she carefully eased out of bed trying not to wake her sleeping daughter beside her. Rusty had been known to make breakfast in the past. He was actually a pretty good cook, but he was never up this early, especially on a weekend or holiday. And Ricky was hopeless in the kitchen. Sharon wasn't really sure how he had survived for so long on his own.
Chuckling to herself, she grabbed her glasses off the nightstand, slipped into her robe, and headed to the kitchen to investigate. She couldn't believe her eyes. Clad in one of her aprons was one of the last people she would ever expect to find frying bacon in her kitchen.
"Andy?" she whispered. "What are you doing here?"
He turned from his position at the stove and greeted her with a smile. "When I dropped you off after Mass last night, I told you that I'd be back for breakfast. Merry Christmas." He leaned to place a soft kiss on her lips. "There is coffee." He motioned to the coffee pot with the tongs in his hand.
"And bacon?" Sharon asked, ignoring the coffee and joining him by the stove. She raised an eyebrow in question. "This isn't that fake, vegetarian crap, is it?" It couldn't be, she reasoned. It smelled too much like the real thing.
"It's turkey bacon actually."
Sharon looked at him, intrigued and waiting for him to elaborate. She'd never seen him cook meat before.
"Even though I have been eating vegetarian for about ten years now, when I met with that nutritionist that Dr. Liu recommended last week, she and I agreed that my diet isn't the best."
Sharon smiled but didn't comment. She had been telling him as much for over a year now.
"I've never been a big fan of tofu, and, according to her, I rely on cheese as a protein source a little too often. So," he continued, "I agreed to start adding some lean meats into my diet, like fish and poultry, but I'm going to continue to avoid red meat." He shrugged. "I never had anything against meat really, I just thought being vegetarian was a healthier choice."
"Well, I approve," Sharon answered as she reached into the pan to grab a piece of sizzling bacon. Andy swatted her hand way.
"Sweetheart, you'll burn yourself," he warned. Using the tongs in his hand, he lifted the piece of bacon that she had tried to pick up out of the frying pan and began to blow on it in an effort to cool it down.
"What did you call me?" Sharon asked quietly.
Andy was silent for a few seconds. "Sweetheart," he finally answered. "Do you not like that?"
Sharon pondered this for a moment. She had never been fond of terms of endearment. Jack had tried to call her 'babe' a few times in the beginning of their relationship, but she had cured him of that very quickly. Being a woman in a predominately male profession, she had been patronizingly referred to as 'honey' or 'sweetie' more times than she could count. And yet, hearing Andy call her 'sweetheart' only made her feel warm and treasured. There was not an ounce of condescension in his tone. When she heard it, all she felt was loved.
"Hmmm," she murmured as he stood before her nervously. "I think I do." She continued to reassure him with a smile before nodding toward the piece of bacon which he had transferred from the tongs to his hand. "Is that for me?" She began to reach for it, but he pulled it just out of her reach. She crossed her arms, pouting at him playfully, and he moved it slowly towards her. Opening her lips, she let him feed her the bacon until his fingers reached her mouth. Once they did, she licked the pads of his fingers and slowly drew them into her mouth. She wasn't sure what had come over her, but the act of Andy feeding her had suddenly become one of the most sensual experiences that she could ever remember. Hearing a groan escape Andy's throat, she snapped her eyes open and accidentally bit down on his fingers.
"Ouch!" he exclaimed as he pulled his hand away from her and began to rub the abused fingers with his other hand.
"Andy, I'm sorry," she began, but she couldn't help but giggle about getting so carried away over being fed a piece of bacon.
Andy chuckled in response as Sharon grabbed his hand to survey the damage before kissing the mark that she had left on him. "I don't think there will be any permanent damage." She continued to inspect his fingers, biting down on her bottom lip nervously. Looking up at him, she apologized again. "I'm sorry, honey."
Andy pulled her to him and wrapped her in a loose embrace. "I'm fine," he tried to reassure her. "Wait. What did you call me?" His lips turned up into a teasing smile.
Sharon thought for a moment. She hadn't even realized what she'd said. "Honey. Do you not like that?" she asked.
"Hmmm," he hummed, echoing her response from earlier. "I think I do."
After another leisurely kiss, Sharon ran to take a quick shower and get dressed before rejoining Andy in the kitchen to help him finish making breakfast. As they were setting the table, Emily and Rusty appeared and wished them all good morning and Merry Christmas. The four of them sat down to eat eggs, toast, fruit, and bacon, of course. As they were finishing, Ricky finally joined them, rubbing his eyes and mumbling a greeting as he stumbled to the coffee pot. He had always been the most challenging of Sharon's children to rouse in the mornings. Thank goodness he had made a career for himself where he could be his own boss and wake whenever he wanted, Sharon thought to herself.
When they had all finished eating, they gathered around the tree to exchange presents. Sharon received a simple, yet beautiful pair of diamond and amethyst earrings from Andy, as well as a collection of short stories by one of her favorite authors. She only recalled mentioning the author by name to Andy on one occasion, lamenting the fact that she never had time to read anymore. When she open the gift, he told her that he thought the short stories would be a good way for her to be able to read just a little bit at a time.
Just when she thought that he couldn't have possibly been more thoughtful, she opened her last gift. Inside the large box were several framed photographs of her three children in various poses. She stared with wide eyes at the photos before asking, "When did you... How?"
Emily chuckled. "Remember last Sunday when you went out to finish your Christmas shopping after Mass, and I said that the boys and I were going out to lunch?"
Sharon nodded.
"Well," her daughter continued, "we did eat something quick, but then we had a photo shoot with a photographer that Andy set up for us."
Sharon turned to Andy, who was seated beside her on the couch. She reached over to squeeze his hand. "You did this?"
Andy shrugged. "It was a team effort. Nicole has a friend from high school who is a photographer and said she could get us prints in a couple of days. You will be getting a CD eventually, once all the photos are edited. Then you can get more pictures made, if you'd like."
She squeezed his hand again as a tear ran down her cheek. It was physically painful for her to hold herself back from kissing him right here in front of her children. She had mentioned in passing a few months back that she wished that she had more photographs of her three children together besides the one lonely snapshot that she had taken last Christmas, which currently resided on her refrigerator.
She looked back in the box on her lap and touched each one of the faces in the largest photograph.
"Do you like them, Mom?" Ricky asked.
"Oh, yes," she answered. "I think this is my favorite Christmas present ever."
Now Sharon was seated on the couch once again as Andy reached behind the Christmas tree and pulled out a narrow box of about a foot length wrapped in red-foiled paper.
"I didn't even see that back there. I thought we had opened all the presents?"
Andy wiggled his eyebrows mischievously. "I'm full of surprises, remember?" he quipped before sitting down beside her on the couch and turning his body to face her.
"You certainly are, but this is too much, Andy. I really can't except any more gifts today. Between breakfast, the book, the beautiful earrings, and the photographs..."
Andy took her hand in his, stroking the back of it in small circles with his thumb. He still held the wrapped box in his lap. "This is not that kind of gift Sharon. I didn't spend any money on this one, but I've had it for awhile now, and I think it's time I gave it to you."
He handed the box to her, and Sharon took it with a puzzled expression. Slowly she tore the paper off and removed the lid to find a white envelope with her name written on it.
"Andy, what..." she began, but Andy stopped her by taking her hand once more.
"For a while now, I've wanted to say something to you, but I've been nervous. I know we've only been dating for a few months, but I care about you a lot, Sharon. And, when I was in the hospital about to have surgery, I was so afraid that I wouldn't get the chance to tell you all these things that I've wanted to say for so long."
Andy looked up to see Sharon's eyes shining with unshed tears before continuing.
"I made Provenza promise to tell you, if I didn't make it, but he convinced me to write it down instead. I know how you feel about letters, but I wanted you to hear it from me, in my words, even if I couldn't be there to say them to you."
She had confided in Andy about the letters that Jack used to leave behind whenever he left her. At first she had read them, analyzing every word, but after the third time, her heart couldn't take it anymore, and she would just tear them into pieces.
But Andy wasn't Jack, and this wasn't that kind of letter.
She wanted to tell him this, as well as how happy she was that she never had to read his letter under the circumstances for which it had originally been written, because she honestly wasn't sure what she would have done if he hadn't made it out of surgery. But she couldn't tell him any of this, not now. Not without breaking down, overcome with emotion before he could finish. Instead she squeezed his hand and smiled through her tears, willing him to go on.
"I just want you to know, Sharon, that I'm not saying all of this because it's Christmas. I'm saying this because I can't stand the idea of going another day without telling you how much I love you."
When Andy said the words, Sharon pressed her lips together in a feeble attempt to keep her emotions at bay, but a flood of tears spilled out onto her cheeks anyway. It wasn't that she was surprised by his admission or that she didn't know how he felt deep down already, she was just so unprepared for the rush emotions that she would feel when he finally said the words out loud.
"Andy..." she breathed, trying to take control for a moment so she could get the words out herself. "I love you so mu—" her voice cracked at the end of her declaration, but it didn't matter, because his lips were on hers before she could finish anyway. It was a kiss filled with promise and hope. If it were possible to taste love, this would be it, Sharon thought to herself as Andy pulled back just slightly to slide her glasses off her face and place them on the coffee table. When he turned back to her, he held her face in both of his large, warm hands and kissed her eyelids softly before returning to her lips once more.
When he finally pulled away, he rubbed the remnants of her tears away with his thumbs before removing one of his hands from her face. Sharon leaned into his other hand that still cupped her cheek before turning to kiss his palm. Afterward, she turned back and opened her eyes to look up at him with a smile.
"There's that smile that I love so much," he whispered, stroking her lips and then cheek in an attempt to trace it with his thumb. "I'm sorry I made you cry."
Sharon shook her head. "No, don't you dare apologize. These are happy tears." She sniffled, then continued, "You make me so happy, Andy."
Andy smiled and a tear rolled down his own cheek, but Sharon caught it with her thumb before it reached his chin. "I don't think I've ever been happier than I am when I'm with you." He kissed her softly. "Merry Christmas, my love."
"Merry Christmas," she whispered before leaning in for another kiss. Looking down between them, she picked up the envelope that lay on the couch. "Would you read it to me?" she asked. "I want to hear it in your voice."
"Of course," he answered, wrapping his arm around her so she could lie against his chest. He broke the seal on the envelope and unfolded the letter.
"Dear Sharon..."