I have found that I find it extremely entertinaing to write a story where Mary and Marshall are playing a game. I wrote Anything But Typical, and now I wrote this. I also refer to the Corn Chip Checker incident. If you haven't read Anything But Typical, I think you should. I also referenced Rent, in case you didn't pick up on that. Anyway, they are now playing Monopoly. I made myself laugh while I wrote this, if that tells you anything. Anyway, I do not own In Plain Sight. Enjoy!
"I knew this was a bad idea," Marshall groaned.
"You're just saying that because I'm winning," Mary said smugly.
"No, you're not. You're losing."
"According to your rules."
"Oh, my God. It's like playing checkers with a three year old."
"How so?"
"They like to change the rules."
"Oh. Well, in that case, I guess playing Monopoly with me is like playing checkers with a three year old."
"At least you admit it," Marshall said. "You know, Mary, I don't know why I ever agree to play any game with you. You always cheat, every time."
"Oh, how do I cheat?"
"Are you kidding me?" Marshall said. "You don't pay the rent when you land on a hotel."
"I didn't feel like it at the time. An IOU was issued. We could switch to Bohemia Monopoly."
"What the hell is Bohemia Monopoly?"
"That's when assholes like you land on their property, you are very generous and ask for clothing instead."
"What the hell, Mary?"
"What?"
"Who taught you that version of the game?"
"I used to have this friend named Collins. He taught it to me. Then we played it with his friends."
"Were they boys or girls?"
"Both."
"Wow."
"Oh, I only played it once," Mary said, rolling her eyes. "They got a little too into it, even for me."
"I don't think we'll be switching to Bohemia Monopoly," Marshall said.
"Yeah, now that I think about it, that's probably not such a good idea. Now, how else am I cheating? And by the way, me not paying the rent isn't cheating. That's me being uncooperative."
"Just as frustrating. Now, other ways you cheat. You keep stealing money from the bank. I'm pretty sure that's cheating."
"You can't prove that."
"I shouldn't have let you be the banker," Marshall said.
"Yeah, that was a bad move on your part," Mary agreed.
"You are a thieving, murderous kleptomaniac," Marshall accused.
Mary grabbed a light blue fifty dollar bill and a Sharpie.
"What are you doing?" Marshall asked.
"One second, darling," she muttered. She quickly scrawled something down on the paper, then handed it to him.
"This is what I say to you!" she exclaimed.
"'MARSHALL MANN MUST DIE!'" Marshall read. "Lovely."
"You said I was murderous," Mary said innocently.
"Ignoring what I am assuming is a meaningless death threat—"
"You should never assume anything."
"—I would also like to point out that you need to go to jail."
"You go to jail!" Mary yelled.
"No, you go to jail!" Marshall shouted.
"What the hell is going on in here?" Eleanor asked as she poked her head into the conference room, where Mary and Marshall were playing their game.
"Mary needs to go to jail," Marshall said calmly.
"You go to jail!" Mary screamed again.
"Why? What did she do?" Eleanor looked at the table. "Monopoly? This whole screaming match is about Monopoly?"
"Well, who's screaming now?" Mary said.
"Why is everyone yelling?" Stan demanded when he joined Eleanor at the door.
"Because Mary's cheating and needs to go to jail," Marshall said.
"Nuh-uh!" Mary exclaimed. "You landed on the jail spot, too!"
"Yeah, but I only landed on it once, and I paid bail," Marshall said. "You've landed it on it four times and haven't paid a cent!"
"There's no change in Monopoly, idiot!" Mary screamed. "There's only paper money!"
"It's a figure of speech, Miss Holier-Than-Thou!"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It's means you're smug and arrogant!"
"I cheated at Monopoly!" Mary yelled. "That doesn't mean I'm smug and arrogant!"
"Ah-ha!" Marshall exclaimed. "You admit it! You cheated!"
"I always cheat, Marshall, you know that!"
"That's because—"
"Mary, Marshall!" Stan screamed over them. They immediately calmed down and looked at him.
"Yes?" Mary said evenly.
"What can we do for you?" Marshall asked, equally composed.
"This is the most bizarre thing I've ever seen," Eleanor said.
"And you've known us for how long?" Mary said. "Come on, we've done crazier stuff than this."
"It's up there."
"Mary, Marshall," Stan said.
"What?" they said in unison.
"Do you really think it was wise of you to play Monopoly in the conference room of your workplace?" he asked.
"Well, we didn't really give it much thought," Marshall admitted.
"We wanted to play, so we took it in here and started to play," Mary said.
"Why do you have a Monopoly set at the office, anyway?" Eleanor asked.
"We work pretty hard, Eleanor," Marshall said.
"Once in awhile, you gotta take a break," Mary added.
"Uh-huh," Eleanor said slowly.
"You know, when people take breaks, it's generally things like coffee breaks or smoke breaks, you know, stuff like that," Stan said. "Just for a day, can we pretend that this is a normal, conventional office environment?"
"If you want conventional, you hired the wrong inspectors," Marshall said.
"He's actually right about that," Mary agreed.
"Alright, fine. How about we all remain civil for a day? No yelling, no fights, no insults." Mary and Marshall laughed at him. "What?"
"Do you really think Mary's actually capable of going a whole day without making some snarky, sarcastic, wildly inappropriate and insulting comment?" Marshall asked.
"He is completely right," Mary said. "That's how ridiculous the concept is. I'm admitting that he's right about something."
"Come on," Stan said. "Why is that so ridiculous? You really can't go a whole day without screaming at someone?"
"I highly doubt it. Now." Mary punched Marshall in the arm.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"We're not done, numbnuts," she said. "We were just rudely interrupted."
Marshall sighed. "Oh, fine."
"And you owe me fifty dollars!" Mary yelled.
"What?" Marshall screamed. "Why do I owe you fifty dollars?"
"Because I just gave you fifty dollars! That was a loan!"
"You mean the fifty dollar bill with a death threat on it?"
"Are you two acting, or are you really getting into this again?" Eleanor asked.
"Shut up, Eleanor!" Mary and Marshall yelled in unison.
"I guess that answers my question," Eleanor said, stunned.
"Where's my fifty dollars?" Mary demanded. "I want it back! That was not a gift!"
"You wrote a death threat on that fifty dollar bill!"
"I did no such thing!"
"Yes, you did!"
"I said, 'Marshall Mann must die'!" Mary screamed. "I didn't say, 'I am going to kill Marshall Mann'! Big difference!"
"This is ridiculous," Stan said to Eleanor and Mary and Marshall continued you to yell at each other.
"This is even worse than the Corn Chip Checkers incident," Eleanor agreed.
"I swear, they're like a couple of five year olds who swear way too much," Stan said. "I run a kindergarten."
Eleanor laughed. "That seems pretty accurate. Do you think they'll ever stop?"
"I don't know," Stan said. He noticed that both Mary and Marshall's faces were turning very red from yelling so much.
"You think someone should end this?" Eleanor asked.
"Yes."
"You think that someone should be you?"
"Unfortunately, yes." Stan sighed. "How should I do this?"
"I have no idea."
"Well, I only have one idea. So I guess I'll go test it." Stan sighed. "Pray for me."
"I'll bring flowers to your funeral," Eleanor told him.
Stan walked over to the table, shoved Mary and Marshall away, then swept all the pieces off of the game board and onto the floor.
"Hey!" they screamed in unison.
"What the hell, Stan?" Mary yelled.
"I'm sorry, but this needed to end, and I am apparently the only mature adult around here, therefore it is my job to play peacemaker," Stan said.
"We would have stopped eventually," Marshall said.
"No, you wouldn't have."
"Alright, maybe not, but that does not warrant completely destroying our game!" Mary exclaimed.
"You know what you two have done?" Stan said. "You have turned Monopoly into an ugly game."
"I personally think that Monopoly was always a pretty ugly game," Mary said.
"Yeah, me, too," Marshall agreed.
"No one likes Monopoly, Stan," Mary said. "Even if you think you like Monopoly, you don't. And it's simple why. Because it goes on forever! You can be sitting around for two hours playing the damn game! And at that point, hells yeah, just flip the damn board over!"
"That actually happened one time," Marshall said. "She actually did that."
"It was four in the morning, Marshall! You win!" Mary yelled. "I swear to God, I was about to shoot you in the face with that little cannon!"
Marshall laughed. "In your defense, I think we both overdid it a bit with the whiskey."
"I'm a little surprised we even remember that," Mary said. "But Stan is absolutely right. Monopoly is an ugly game."
"Hey, Mary?" Marshall said.
"Yeah?"
"Do you remember Operation?"
Mary smiled. "Hells yeah. You wanna play?"
"Well, we'd have to track down the actual game," Marshall said.
"And we'd need some whiskey," Mary added. "But that one's much easier to obtain."
"So you wanna go start the search?" Marshall asked.
Mary nodded. "I'm always ready. Come on, Doofus."
Marshall smiled. "Right behind you, Sunshine." They walked out without acknowledging Stan and Eleanor's presence.
"Those two," Stan said once Mary and Marshall had disappeared into the elevator, shaking his head.
"They never fail to surprise me," Eleanor said. "But for the life of me, I cannot understand them or anything they do."
"Neither can I."
"I especially don't understand why they always end up yelling at each other whenever they play a game," Eleanor said. "Why would fighting make something more entertaining?"
Stan shrugged. "We'll never know. But it's all fun and games to them."