Shout out to alkmin5who gave me amazing suggestions for this chapter.
Your review made my day, thank you so much
Remembering the Hard Times:
It had been a few days since Jared had spent reflecting on all the good times in his life, but unfortunately in their world, the good times were always followed with the bad. It was inevitable, a fact of life really, but the pain of those times could still cut deep.
Jared today found himself with another moment of peace, today he was again lying in his room, on his and Mel's bed, looking around their room. Mel had made sure the kids were at school, and then she had a few chores to do, so she wouldn't be back for a little while, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
It was rare that Jared had quiet time to himself, but as he got older he found it was so much more important that he did take the time out every now and again to reflect and look again at the moments that made up his life.
Between working at the Caves, spending time with his family and training others on all things raids, it was incredible he even found the time, but somehow he did.
Reflecting on his life so far, made him realise just how much he now had.
And just how close he'd come to losing it all.
He didn't like to think about the period in his life when he had lost Mel; it was just so painful to him, and also to Mel. His actions during that time were intolerable but somehow people had forgiven him; Jamie, Jeb, Ian, Wanda and most importantly Mel.
After Mel got her body back, she and Jared spent a whole night talking about it all, laying all the cards on the table, every emotion, every action and every feeling that happened during that time. They worked it all out, sure it was a really emotional time and there were lots of tears but in the end it needed to happen, Jared had concluded this after everything had gone back to a state they could now call normal.
Lying there, Jared felt his heart constrict it physically hurt him to think about his actions towards Mel/Wanda, how horrible he was to her and how he couldn't and wouldn't believe Mel was still in the body.
Stop.
Sitting up abruptly he refused to think along this line of thought, he and Mel had already covered this, they had closed the door on this matter and they had resolved the matter.
Even though it still caused him immense pain, he knew that Mel had forgiven him that Wanda had forgiven him; Jamie had forgiven him, now he just needed to forgive himself. And mostly he had, it was just every now and again, something would make him remember that time and the remaining pain would return.
But it was all over now, he and Mel had moved past it and had two beautiful children in their lives to show for it. His children, even the thought put a smile on his face, he had always wanted to have children, and he couldn't imagine a better person to love and have his babies with.
Of course the pregnancy itself had scared him completely, Mel being the first woman in the Caves to give birth was a terrifying experience, what if something went wrong? What if Doc didn't know what to do? What if there was a complication? All these questions had plagued his mind during both Mel's pregnancy, sure the second time around he knew what to expect and they both were better prepared, but still a very terrifying experience.
When he had first discovered Mel was pregnant, he spent most of time talking to her tummy, rather than doing his chores or focusing on his duty to go on raids. When it came time for a raid, Jared had not at all prepared and really did not want to leave Mel alone at any cost, but he knew he couldn't take her with him or leave Jamie behind because he was such a good raider.
Leaving Mel the first time was the hardest, ever since she got her body back she had been on every raid with him and even though it scared him completely he knew he could keep her safe. It was hard to trust others to keep his girl safe.
In the days leading up to the raid he never left Mel's side, even during chores they both worked together and Mel even helped with the preparations for the raid. The night before he left, he and Mel huddled under the blankets on their bed, enveloping themselves in the darkness, talking softly. Jared remembered that his hands never left her stomach, holding Mel and the baby as close to him as he could, knowing that while he was there, nothing would hurt his girl or his baby.
Leaving that morning was one of the hardest things he ever had to do, he spent nearly all morning talking to everyone, reminding them not to let Mel work too hard, or spend too much time in the sun. Walking over to the car, he held her hand until the absolute last moment. Once at the car, he pulled her in for a long hug, and then knelt down until his face was level with Mel's stomach, he remembered the exact words he whispered to his baby, and "You take care of your mummy for me, hold her close late at night and remind her how much daddy loves her. Remember how much I love you, I'll be home soon little one."
He remembered lifting Mel's shirt high enough to reveal the small bump that was beginning to form and he placed a kiss right on the swell of the bump, before pulling a teary Mel into a long kiss before pulling himself away.
That first night away from the caves was the hardest, knowing that he was close enough to return to her but he couldn't, they needed the supplies that he had to get. Jamie kept him company that trip, they spent the nights thinking of baby names for his baby, while Jamie shared memories he had of his parents telling him about when he and Mel were babies and all the trouble they got themselves into.
Jamie was a real trooper, Jared had come to this realisation a long time ago, but it never ceased to amaze him how true it really was. After everything Jamie, Mel and Jared had been through, Jamie was always strong, happy and continued to be positive. He was the kind of guy that would help a stranger on the street. A genuinely nice guy, a guy Jared had the deepest respect for.
Without Jamie, Jared knew he might not have made it through some of the really tough times, like the lonely nights spent out on raids when Mel couldn't come because she was back at the caves pregnant or with the kids, or the scary two hours of labour Mel went through, Jamie was always there for his sister and now brother-in-law.
Passing down the role of head raider to Jamie was not something Jared had to even think about, Jamie was by far the best candidate, not only had Jared trained him, but Jamie had also improved his skills and now was a master at raiding. Jared was really only there if something went wrong.
He gave up the role just after Calvin was born, Mel needed him now more than ever and he could not afford to go on any raids, so he organised with Jeb that Jamie would run the raids now, even though he was younger than most of the other raiders, he had more skill alone then all of the other guys put together.
He remembered the conversation he had with Jamie, after consulting with Jeb about his decision he asked if he could be the one to tell Jamie about his new role. Jamie has been blown away; he sat there staring at Jared with a gaping mouth, before attacking him in a fierce hug, one very similar to Mel's. That's when he realised strong hugs must run in the family.
That night he told Mel of his decision to leave the raids behind him for a while, to stay back at the caves with her and Calvin, she cried. Mel was a strong woman, crying was not something she did often, not even when she was crazy with pregnancy hormones, but she cried when Jared told her of his decision. They spent that night holding each other and mixing their tears together, Jared couldn't remember what made him cry but he had a feeling that were happy tears.
They only time they left the bed was when Calvin called out into the night, demanding attention from his parents, and Jared lovingly picked up his son and held him close whispering words of love and affection to his son and that seemed to bring on a whole new round of tears for Mel.
He placed Calvin on the bed in-between both himself and Mel and pulled both his beloved ones close and pulled the blanket over them both, hoping the darkness would settle them and bring on sleep.
Thinking about his son, just spurred thoughts of his daughter, his little angel. He was sure she was a gift from the heavens; he was everything he could ever have asked for in a daughter and more. She carried his spirit, and she radiated calm and strength.
She was his little angel, holding everything together without even realising it while Calvin was his little fighter. His eager spirit was infectious, he was a happy crazy little kid, he was Mel inside and out, the strength, the fight inside of him was all from his mother.
They were both getting so big now, he could hardly believe that soon Calvin would be training for raids and Taylor would become a woman. They had both flourished in the caves, despite the things they lacked, like freedom.
He wanted to give his children the world, but until the 'aliens' leave, their freedom is restricted.
The thoughts of his children sparked the flame of longing in his chest, suddenly his room was too small, he needed to see his family.
Leaving his room and manoeuvring himself through the caves until he arrived at the school, he stood in the doorway and watched his children play with the few other children, he could physically feel the love he had for them both as he watched them amongst the rest of the children. He left the school doorway before anyone noticed he was there, he didn't want to disturb them, seeing how happy they are, it was enough for him.
Now he just had to find Mel, making his way through the caves, he heard the unmistakable sound of his wife's laughter coming from the kitchen.
Turning he walked towards the kitchen to find Mel sitting with Wanda, Ian and Jamie at one of the small kitchen tables, laughing happily.
"There's my girl" he said quietly to himself before moving towards Mel, sneaking up behind her and gently trapping her in his arms before pressing a kiss to her cheek and murmuring in her ear, "Hello beautiful."
Mel's laughter stopped for the moment, but it was replaced with a large smile, as Jared sat down next to her and they both re-arranged themselves so that Mel was sitting happily in her husband's arms.
The conversation around them seemed to exclude them for the moment, allowing a small bubble of solitude to form around Mel and Jared.
"Where have you been?" she asked Jared, while she played with his hands that were wrapped around her.
He did not answer straight away, instead he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and spoke softly to her, "Just remembering all the moments I've had with you, and how even though they might have been hard, they just brought me back to you."