Meet Me Halfway, a law and order: ci fanfic

I suppose this could be classified as speculation I hope you enjoy, and reviews are always appreciated! And as always, I own nothing of Law and Order: CI - only what lives in my imagination. Many thanks to The Black Eyed Peas for Meet Me Halfway.

Meet Me Halfway

I can't go any further then this

I want you so badly, it's my biggest wish

Alex wouldn't allow sleep to envelop her mind. Tossing and turning, fighting against her bodies will to sleep, she laid in bed, unable to calm the raging tide of her mind. Her life was full of turmoil. The personal/professional lines had been blurred so long ago, they were inconceivable now - yet, nothing was going her way. The walls of her heart had been shattered by Bobby and were replaced by his hands. She knew that it was he that completed her, that left her suffocating in his absence. They have been through so much, yet it was the most simple things that drove a wedge into their relationship. But Alex refused to make the first move to repair their relationship. She was always the one, always the level-headed one to make Bobby see what was right in front of him. She was sure that if she took the first step to bridge the ever-widening gap, they would never recover.

Cool - I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you

Every single day yes, I'm really missin' - missin' you

And all those things we use to - use to - use to do

Bobby is inconsolable. There is nothing around him that can sate him. Nothing to allow him to rest his weary heart or mind. Alex was barely speaking to him - at his own request. He asked her to stay away - to leave him to his misery. He knew that he was pushing away the only thing in his life that kept him grounded, the only good thing in his life, but that didn't matter. He just needed space. Space to process everything, space to process nothing. Lately, nothing could ease the feeling that the walls were closing in. Everything he touches becomes turmoil beneath his hands. His friends have moved on. Logan and Barek, no longer in the city, no longer there to pick him up when he's down. Deakins has finally moved upstate, there if needed, but too disconnected to offer any insight. His mom, his rock - though no one else saw her as anything but a burden, is gone. Finally leased from the suffering that relentlessly plagued her life. His brother, whom he could always count on to be a disappointment, well, even he was gone. Alex used to fill the emptiness of his heart and life. But now, he wondered if he was enough for her. His self-imposed isolation was about self-discovery, self-study, self-examination. He had to know if he could be the man she needed. Alex assumed he spent all his time thinking about others, but in all reality, he spent all his time thinking of her, and how to make himself whole again, for her.

Hey girl, what's up, it use to used to be just me and you

I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you

Every single day, yes I'm really missin missin you

And all those things we use to - use to - use to do

Hey girl what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up

Work. Work. Work. It was ruining him. No longer could he hide is disdain for the "game." He was constantly subjugating himself to make the Brass happy, and he just couldn't do it anymore. The people were becoming less tolerable, and he found his empathy has almost disappeared. How to do his job when he hated the people he was supposed to be trying to help? How to be satisfied when his best wasn't enough? His fellow officers in blue used to look to him with a certain awe of his intellect. The way he was able to balance genius with real life. But now, he was old hat. They'd seen enough of the Goren show, they were tired of being upstaged by a guy with more books in his brain than a librarian. The dance used to be he and Eames - making the world bow to their chemistry. Taking the world by the balls, leaving no prisoners. They had easily made the transition from partners to lovers. Their passion would not be denied. Too bad life happened. And now, all Bobby wanted in the world was to get back to where they were. To make Alex realize she was his life - that without her, he was a mere shell of a man. He knew he had to make the first move.

Meet me halfway, right at the borderline

That's where I'm gonna wait, for you

I'll be lookin out, night n' day

Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay

I can't go any further then this

I want you so bad it's my only wish

Alex looked at Bobby across their desks. If only she could reach out and touch his face, to let her love and strength flow from her body into his. To rejuvenate his soul. As Alex studied his profile, her face held the distinct look of longing. She couldn't seem to settle the feeling in the pit of her stomach. The one that led her to audibly gasp when she heard him tell the Captain they needed to talk, alone. As he approached his office, portfolio in hand, her look of longing fell to that of forlorn. He glanced back, locking her eyes in a stare that she couldn't decipher. All she could do was hope. Hope that he knew she loved him, was miserable without him. She tried to tell him everything with a look, and when he looked away, she closed her eyes, and prayed.

Girl, I travel round the world and even sail the seven seas

Across the universe I go to other galaxies

Just tell me where you want, just tell me where you wanna to meet

I navigate myself myself to take me where you be

Cause girl I want, I, I, I want you right now

I travel uptown (town) I travel downtown

I wanna to have you around (round) like every single day

I love you alway... way

Captain Ross looked at him with utter shock. He couldn't stop his jaw from dropping, couldn't stop the look of disbelief from crossing his face if his life had depended on it. Had his strongest, most reliable detective actually said, "Here's my resignation?" Goren looked at him, waiting for a response, a rebuttal... or anything. Instead Ross simply gaped at him. Sensing that he needed more, Goren formulated a response that he hoped would suffice.

"Captain, we both know this is for the best. If I continue on this path, I'm headed for certain disaster. It's all too much, and it's taking a toll on my health, my life. I've accepted a position at Fordham University, teaching in the Sociology Department. I'll be starting as an Associate Professor, until I complete my Masters, at which time I'll be eligible for tenure. I apologize for the short notice, Captain, but I saw no other way to keep this out of the rumor mill. Please know that I appreciate the time I've served under you, even if at times it didn't seem that way."

And with a slight nod, Goren left the office. Turning only when Ross spoke; "Detective, take the rest of the afternoon off - with your partner. I'm assuming you haven't told her either." Goren shook his head.

Can you meet me half way (I'll meet you halfway)

Right at the borderline

That's where I'm gonna wait, for you

I'll be lookin out, night n' day

Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay

I can't go any further then this

I want you so bad it's my only wish

I can't go any further then this

I want you so bad it's my only wish

Alex tried to keep her composure as she watched Bobby walk across the bullpen to their desks. She couldn't help but notice the look on the Captain's face. Expecting an immediate explanation, she was surprised when Bobby simply stated, "We have the afternoon off. Let's go." The worry in the pit of her stomach grew, and she couldn't help but wonder where this conversation was going to lead. It wasn't like they had been cordial over the last year. In fact, they were downright brusque with each other. She allowed him to lead her out of the precinct and into his Mustang. She didn't utter a word as she watched the city pass by, just tried to steel herself for the inevitable.

Let's walk the bridge, to the other side

Just you and I (just you and I)

I will fly, I'll fly the skies, for you and I (for you and I)

I will try, until I die, for you and I, for you and I, for for you and I,

For for you and I, for for you and I, for you and I

Bobby could feel the tension flowing from Alex. He gripped the steering wheel tighter, forcing himself to focus on the job at hand. Get to Fordham. Get her to listen to him. "My God," he thought, "Only in NYC can it take almost an hour to drive 13 miles." He smirked to himself. 13 miles. Might as well be a light year from 1PP. Could they make this work? Bobby had to try, for he knew that without Alex in his life, he was a mere shell of a man. Yet, his life with her was going nowhere. He was slowly dying, almost drowning at work - the place they shared like no partners before them. Would she accept him without his shield? Was it possible for her to still love him, after everything? Would she give him one more chance, a chance to prove to her that her love was all that was necessary to sustain him? Slowing to stop at a red light just five minutes from Fordham University, Bobby did something he hadn't allowed himself in decades. He prayed. He prayed for strength, for hope, for the love of a woman he couldn't fathom living without. He prayed for forgiveness, for restitution of his soul and finally, he prayed for the peace of his mother. At last, he felt a weight, albeit an minuscule weight, lifted from his shoulders. Pulling into the park across the street from Fordham, Bobby realized for the first time since he enlisted, that his life was going to change drastically in the next few minutes.

Can you meet me half way (yup yup)

Bobby guided Alex to a park bench, one with a nice view of campus. For a moment, they just sat, hand in hand, both too afraid to utter the first word. Upon summoning enough courage, Bobby spoke.

"Some days it seems as if I can't remember my life before you. Our partnership has molded me, strengthened me, and allowed me to blossom in a way that I used to run from. But at the same time, it has broken me - in a way I can no longer stand." Alex looked up and into his eyes and started to speak. Bobby silenced her with a wave of his hand.

"Please, just let me talk, Alex. I need for you to listen, to really hear me." "My life without you is empty. A life devoid of hope, of happiness, of purpose. Even though we're together at work, we're not together in life. I can't live like this anymore. My focus in life was the job. The idea of righting the wrongs of the world with my brain. Slowly, my focus became you and the job. Doing the job to be next to you. But now, my only desire is you. I can no longer do the job - with or without you. The job is ruining us, and I can't let that happen. I don't know if you'll have me without the shield to bind us to one another, but I had to try. Try and make myself whole again, to be able to come to you the man you need, the man you deserve."

"I brought you here, to Fordham, to offer you a new life. A chance at a life with me, outside of the NYPD. I've accepted a position here, as an associate professor, starting a new department within The School of Social Services. They've hired two others, a former prosecutor to teach ethics and law, as well as a research scientist to head the social research. They came to ME, Alex. It's been so long since anyone other than you appreciated my work, my dedication to the job. They want me to teach courses on the criminal mind, as well as the procedural side of the job. They want to better train social workers, to better equip them for the world today, and I can be apart of that. I have to take this position, Alex, with or without your blessing. Though I can say one thing, it would be a lot easier if I had you standing beside me."

Meet me half way, right at the borderline

That's where I'm gonna wait, for you

I'll be lookin out, night n' day

Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay

I can't go any further then this

I want you so bad it's my only wish

Alex was having trouble breathing. She couldn't seem to focus on Bobby's face - her eyes welling with tears. She almost couldn't believe her ears. Had Bobby just laid his heart bare before her, leaving the next move to her? Had he just told her everything she needed to hear, and more? Alex searched his eyes - seeing the love, the compassion, his soul, reaching out to her. She softly touched his cheek and finally spoke.

"I have been waiting for you, for a long time Bobby. I have been waiting for you to make the move to fix us, knowing the entire time that if the move didn't come from you, it would fail. I love you, and I would go to the ends of the earth for you. I need you in my life - I've been floundering without you, treading water, hoping the shore would suddenly appear beneath my feet. If leaving Major Case and the NYPD makes you mine, then you not only have my blessing, but my request to clear off your desk immediately."

With the snark that only Alex Eames could deliver, she brought a smile to Bobby's lips. The first genuine smile she'd seen cross his features in far too long. Leaning forward, she sealed their fate with a searing kiss. One designed to let Bobby know just how desperate she had been without him.

I can't go any further then this

I want you so bad it's my only wish

Closing his eyes and losing himself in the kiss, Bobby couldn't help but think that his life might actually turn out better than he could of ever dreamed. Breaking the kiss, Bobby leaned against her forehead, and absently stroked her hair. "Let's get something to eat, Eames. I know you're starving, and we have a lot more to discuss." With a lightness to his step that he hadn't felt in over a year, Bobby walked hand in hand with the woman he knew he was going to spend the rest of his life with. He was already planning their return to domestic bliss - with a weekend she would never forget.

A/N: So I certainly never expected my first published fanfic to be a songfic - but what the muse wants, the muse gets! I hope ya'll enjoyed this, please review, either good or bad - I would love to hear your thoughts!