Cloud Channel 5
(The show starts at 7:00 on the button)
Cloud: Welcome, folks! I am Cloud Strife, your host, and these are my assistants! This is my wife, Aeris, and this is Yuffie Kisaragi!
Aeris: Hi!
Yuffie: HI!!!! I'm REALLY glad to be here! Hee hee!
Cloud: First, to the stocks!
*STOCK CHARTS*
Hair Gel: +15
Mice-B-Gone: +5
Vincent-B-Gone: +20
Killer Bees-B-Gone: -5
Cloud: Now, for weather with Fujin and Raijin!
Raijin: Thanks, ya know?
Fujin: CLEAR SKIES.
Raijin: Over the east, ya know? And it'll be movin' around, no?
Fujin: TRIP NOW.
Raijin: But, it'll rain in the west, no? And, if ya know, it'll be kinda cloudy, ya know?
Fujin: BUNDLE UP.
Raijin: So that's the weather, ya know? Over to you, no?
Cloud: Uh, thank you, Mr. New Jersey Slummer!
Raijin: Hey, I gotta lawyer, ya know? I'll bring him in, ya know?
Cloud: Ooooooookayyyyyyy………
Fujin: NOT KIDDING.
Cloud: Now, to the real deal-
Yuffie: Holyfield! C'mon, here batta batta batta, sahWING batta batta batta-OOPS! Sorry. HEH HEH!
Cloud: In today's news, a dog was rescued from a Shinra laboratory. Says owner "I should'nt have said he was a Turk! *sob*"
Aeris: Aw…….puppy! FUZZ PUPPY! FUZZ! FUZZ! FUZZ!
Yuffie: *gasp* FUZZ! FUZZ! FUZZ! FUZZ! FUZZ! FUZZ! FUZZ!
Cloud: Security!!!!!!!!
Yuffie: FUZZ! FUZZ! FUZZ! HEY! Wait! Where are you taking me? AAH! I want my mommy!!!!!!!!!! *Yuffie gets removed*
Security Guard: Hi, Cloud. My name is Biff. I wanted to say that…..I'M ON TV! HI MOM!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHA! NEWS!!!!!!!!!!! FUZZ!!!!!!!!
Cloud: Ok, thank you, Biff, now GET THE HELL OFF STAGE!
Biff: HEH! Okay, th-th-thank y-you Mr. Strife sir! I kiss your shoes! MWA!!!!! MMM! Gotta go now! BYE BYE! *runs off stage laughing gleefully.
Cloud: What a dope! Anyway, to our next story. The hair gel "Geliomariocloudiogelio" has been recalled because it seems to cause nausea. Mario's "It's-a-me! Mario!" seems to be doing it. Researchers are looking into it.
Aeris: Cloud, I love you! Come backstage with me!
Cloud: Uh, Aeris, NOT NOW! I got a SHOW to run!
Fujin: OOH!
Raijin: Tingly, ya know? Is'nt it great, no? Like it, no? Is really fun, ya know? Ya know, it's really very-
Cloud: SHUT UP!
Fujin: MEAN.
Aeris: Hee hee. I'm glad we're married, Cloudy-poo!
Cloud: Cloudy-poo??? AARGH! My show is falling apart! Aeris, you know, this is a HUMOR fic. Read some of my other fics, there's plenty of romantic stuff there. Anyway…….CLOUDY-POO?!?!?!?!!???
Fujin: RIOT!
(and now little kids, Barney will demonstrate his-)
(AR-33 Assault Rifle! Loaded with all the-)
(The Crap-O-Matic 3000! Put in a penny, and it craps for you! Only from Stink Co.!)
Cloud: ARRGH! No! No! I wanna stay on!
Biff: I wanna be on TV!
Cloud: GET THE HELL OFF THE DAMN STAGE!!!!!!!!!
Biff: *sniff* Well, there's no need to be mean…..WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Cloud: Well, that's all for now folks! If I can maybe relocate my program to another channel, maybe I can still do this…….NO! NO! Stop, stupid programmers! They are tackling me! CENSOR THIS!!!!!! I WANT GOOD RATINGS!!!!!!! ARRRGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE END…….NOT!
Robotic Voice: This is a test. This is only a test. If it were anything more, you would be notified and then run around like a rabid chicken on drugs. It is now 7:30. Thank you for watching, or as the Japanese would say, sank you!
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!