Disclaimer: Not mine, But yours! That's right you wrote it, so don't blame
me cause it sucks. Blame yourselves.
Warning WARNING WARNING!!!: so much slash ! You can't even spell slash right if you don't listen to this! Because there is so much slash in it's most unadulteratered state. Of unadulteratedness.
But not really ENJOY
Harry woke up and realized that he loved Draco. "Oh no!" shouted Harry. "What will Ron think? He will think that I am dumb and Hermione will say 'Harry, you know better than that! Blah, blah, blah! It says here in the history of Hogwarts, blabity-blah-blah-blah, don't you think, Ron?' And then they'd snog and shag, and I would throw up."
Harry decided that he should probably talk to Severus, after all he is Harry's REAL father!!! But no one knows yet. Because, they'd you know... freak out... like how they would when they found out Harry loved Draco. Oh no! This was a double conundrum wrapped in a falafel-flavored catastrophe. Jinkies!
Later that night in the Torture Chamber—I mean, Severus's lounge—Harry explained the problem to his REAL father. But not before he had the use the bathroom! Five minutes later the problem was clarified. Harry was to get Draco really, really drunk. Then he'd lay anyone! Including Harry!
"But Daaaaaad! Whyeee don't we use maaaagic?" Harry sobbed uncontrollably. "We never use magic anymore, waaaaah..."
"But Haaaaaaarry!" Severus mocked. "But we used a Love potion on Voldemort last week when you thought you were in love with him and see how that turned out?"
"Waaah.... Fine... I see how it is... Meanie face."
Before Harry left that night, he stole a Polyjuice potion from his REAL father's stores. And found an old toenail of his REAL father's. From the bathroom floor. Ew.
The next day, before the first class, Harry walked up to his beloved Draco.
"Belo—I mean—Malfoy, do you want to go and get really smashed with me?"
"Yes, yes I would. Professor Snape!"
Snape—I mean, Harry—smirked. "Excellent."
So, they went and got snickered at the Hogs Head. (A/N: as in drunk, for all you losers who don't understand my language. I would like to take this time to thank all of my lovely reviewers... OH WAIT!!! I have none! I forgot! Oops! Well you better review... because well this is like the most rockin'in' story every... and by every, I mean ever. I swear.)
Secretly, Harry added a bit of the Polyjuice potion to his tequila, and then Draco took the shot! 'Holy goat nipples!' thought Harry. Why he was thinking about goat nipples at a time like this, I'll never know.
Harry watched in horror as Draco transmogrified into his REAL father.
"Whadda ya lookin' at, Snape?" Draco slurred to Harry.
Harry was about to reply when Snape--the real one--walked in, and he was singing, and smiling, and acting his normal happy self... wait a second...
"La di la di da... Hullo, gov'ner!" Snape gave a little wave. And then took a double take. Then his smile faltered and he quickly recovered as he grabbed their bottle of tequila. "Good day, chaps!" he sang as he left.
"Jiminy Cricket! Someone is impersonating you! I bet it is an evildoer! Quick! To the Batcave, Snape!!"
Draco pulled Harry off of his bar stool and tugged him out the front door of the bar. As they ran down the street, people's heads began to turn, and Harry knew why! It was enough to have one Snape running around let alone three! As they flew by Dumbledore, he began to tsk.
"Some one's been getting' into the polyjuice again..." Albus muttered with a smile as he wagged a finger in their direction.
Soon enough they found their persurer-ee... persued... personied—the person they were following. And he was sneaking his way into the Shrieking shack!
"That must be the evildoer's hide out!" Draco spoketh. Silently they slithered into the shrieking shack unsoundidly.
And what they saw astounded themselves to the unastounded unimpoundedness. For it was something so hideous—so hideous indeed—that indeed there were indeedly astounded. IN TERROR! There was three Snapes! All standing in a row! All being Snapish and drinking blood! Because Snape undoubtly was a vampire! And they were ALL VAMPIRES, ALL DRINKING EACH OTHER'S BLOOD!
Harry and Draco since they were still vampires—I mean Snapes decided to start drinking blood too!! Because it was a hip thing to do... All the Snapes were doing it after all.
But then Draco remembered that he didn't know that he was a Snape. But he enjoyed the taste of Harry's blood all the same. And the all the Snapes partied. Like Vampires. At a blood rave. Like in the movie blade.
And Harry still loved Draco.
The end.
A/N: Awww wasn't that cute? ##
Warning WARNING WARNING!!!: so much slash ! You can't even spell slash right if you don't listen to this! Because there is so much slash in it's most unadulteratered state. Of unadulteratedness.
But not really ENJOY
Harry woke up and realized that he loved Draco. "Oh no!" shouted Harry. "What will Ron think? He will think that I am dumb and Hermione will say 'Harry, you know better than that! Blah, blah, blah! It says here in the history of Hogwarts, blabity-blah-blah-blah, don't you think, Ron?' And then they'd snog and shag, and I would throw up."
Harry decided that he should probably talk to Severus, after all he is Harry's REAL father!!! But no one knows yet. Because, they'd you know... freak out... like how they would when they found out Harry loved Draco. Oh no! This was a double conundrum wrapped in a falafel-flavored catastrophe. Jinkies!
Later that night in the Torture Chamber—I mean, Severus's lounge—Harry explained the problem to his REAL father. But not before he had the use the bathroom! Five minutes later the problem was clarified. Harry was to get Draco really, really drunk. Then he'd lay anyone! Including Harry!
"But Daaaaaad! Whyeee don't we use maaaagic?" Harry sobbed uncontrollably. "We never use magic anymore, waaaaah..."
"But Haaaaaaarry!" Severus mocked. "But we used a Love potion on Voldemort last week when you thought you were in love with him and see how that turned out?"
"Waaah.... Fine... I see how it is... Meanie face."
Before Harry left that night, he stole a Polyjuice potion from his REAL father's stores. And found an old toenail of his REAL father's. From the bathroom floor. Ew.
The next day, before the first class, Harry walked up to his beloved Draco.
"Belo—I mean—Malfoy, do you want to go and get really smashed with me?"
"Yes, yes I would. Professor Snape!"
Snape—I mean, Harry—smirked. "Excellent."
So, they went and got snickered at the Hogs Head. (A/N: as in drunk, for all you losers who don't understand my language. I would like to take this time to thank all of my lovely reviewers... OH WAIT!!! I have none! I forgot! Oops! Well you better review... because well this is like the most rockin'in' story every... and by every, I mean ever. I swear.)
Secretly, Harry added a bit of the Polyjuice potion to his tequila, and then Draco took the shot! 'Holy goat nipples!' thought Harry. Why he was thinking about goat nipples at a time like this, I'll never know.
Harry watched in horror as Draco transmogrified into his REAL father.
"Whadda ya lookin' at, Snape?" Draco slurred to Harry.
Harry was about to reply when Snape--the real one--walked in, and he was singing, and smiling, and acting his normal happy self... wait a second...
"La di la di da... Hullo, gov'ner!" Snape gave a little wave. And then took a double take. Then his smile faltered and he quickly recovered as he grabbed their bottle of tequila. "Good day, chaps!" he sang as he left.
"Jiminy Cricket! Someone is impersonating you! I bet it is an evildoer! Quick! To the Batcave, Snape!!"
Draco pulled Harry off of his bar stool and tugged him out the front door of the bar. As they ran down the street, people's heads began to turn, and Harry knew why! It was enough to have one Snape running around let alone three! As they flew by Dumbledore, he began to tsk.
"Some one's been getting' into the polyjuice again..." Albus muttered with a smile as he wagged a finger in their direction.
Soon enough they found their persurer-ee... persued... personied—the person they were following. And he was sneaking his way into the Shrieking shack!
"That must be the evildoer's hide out!" Draco spoketh. Silently they slithered into the shrieking shack unsoundidly.
And what they saw astounded themselves to the unastounded unimpoundedness. For it was something so hideous—so hideous indeed—that indeed there were indeedly astounded. IN TERROR! There was three Snapes! All standing in a row! All being Snapish and drinking blood! Because Snape undoubtly was a vampire! And they were ALL VAMPIRES, ALL DRINKING EACH OTHER'S BLOOD!
Harry and Draco since they were still vampires—I mean Snapes decided to start drinking blood too!! Because it was a hip thing to do... All the Snapes were doing it after all.
But then Draco remembered that he didn't know that he was a Snape. But he enjoyed the taste of Harry's blood all the same. And the all the Snapes partied. Like Vampires. At a blood rave. Like in the movie blade.
And Harry still loved Draco.
The end.
A/N: Awww wasn't that cute? ##