A/N: I haven't written in a million years, and for that I apologise. I was just scrolling on tumblr and found a prompt that absolutely reminded me of Shandy, especially given the revelation of the clot in Andy's neck. This can also be read as a tag to episode 4x12 "Blackout." Enjoy!
Imagine that Person A isn't normally the emotional type. One night, however, they show up at Person B's house, eyes red from crying. Turns out they had a vivid nightmare of Person B dying, and they wanted to make sure that their friend/crush/datefriend whatever was okay. Person B is touched by this rare display and emotion from A and allows them to stay the night.
~oOo~
God, why did life have to be so complicated? This week was supposed to be better. This week was the week that she and Andy were supposed to go out to dinner and a matinée and figure out how their relationship was going to progress. Instead, they were stuck with a stubborn-as-ever Jack Raydor, and a grim doctor's appointment.
Earlier that morning, back at her condo, that was the first time their relationship had started to feel real, or… real-er than the 'non-dating' felt.
She hadn't even meant to kiss him. It just came so naturally, so subconsciously that she hadn't realised she'd done it until Andy's eyelids fluttered open and he grinned happily. It was almost second nature to her, giving him a quick good morning peck on the lips before they started their day.
When had he become so important to her, so central to her life? Honestly, she couldn't quite put her finger on it. It just sort of happened one day; he had gone from being a very close friend and confidante to the man that captivated her mind and soul. And the thought of losing him was killing her.
Sharon always kept her emotions in check. Always. She had investigated the murders of young children, chased down serial killers, and tended to her abused son all while keeping her cool. But to hear Andy say that he had a blood clot in his carotid artery and that he would need surgery, that pushed the limits of what even she could handle; that pushed the limits of her self-control.
She wanted to cry. More than anything she wanted to cry when he had told her. And she nearly did. If he had left her there like that, she most certainly would have broken down. She wanted to comfort him -wanted to comfort herself- by wrapping her arms around him and gently kissing him in an attempt to assuage their fears. But she couldn't. She had instituted a set of rules, and no PDA in the office was one of them (she never thought it would come back to bite her in the ass.)
As soon as Jack had left the murder room she had retreated to her office to call Andy. What if Jack was right? What if the clot was more serious than Andy was letting on? What if she had finally found happiness just so it could be ripped from her fingers once more?
Quel domage about Andy Flynn, quel domage. Jack's smug voice played on repeat over and over in her head. Damn him. Damn their situation. Damn it all to hell. Nothing ever seemed to work out for her anyway, why had she thought this would be any different?
"Hey sweetheart." Andy greeted over the telephone, "Is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine. Jack finally left." She sighs as she rolls her eyes, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah yeah, I'm fine. Just watching a little bit of TV. What'd he do this time?"
"Nothing. It's nothing." She shakes her head, her index finger coming up to curl around her lip.
"You think I don't know when you're lying by now?" He questions, "It was about me, wasn't it?"
"It's not important. Would you like me to pick up something for dinner? I should be heading home in a few minutes."
"Maybe another night?" Andy questions nervously, "I have to call the kids and tell them about my appointment; I'm just so tired."
"Uhm, okay, alright, fine." Sharon stutters, "Tomorrow night then. I'm holding you to that Mister."
"Fine by me." He responds, and in her mind's eye Sharon can see him shrugging as a boyish grin crept across his face, "Goodnight Sharon, I'll see you tomorrow."
"Goodnight Andy, I lo… I'd love that." She slips, her hand coming up to cover her face in embarrassment, "Bye."
"Bye." Andy chuckles on the other end before hanging up.
~oOo~
Takeout and an old black and white movie.
It was her typical after-work routine, but she had to admit she enjoyed it much more when Andy was around to entertain her. If he wasn't running his hands through her hair or playing with her fingers, he was mocking the characters or throwing popcorn at her. The silence was disconcerting to say the least.
When the movie had finally finished, Sharon cleaned up her silverware and headed off to bed. She closed her eyes and curled up in bed, wishing more than anything that Andy was there with her. He had officially been staying in Rusty's room, but on more than one occasion during the past weeks he had crept into her bed in the middle of the night and wrapped his arms around her. More than anything that was what she wanted right now, to feel his body next to hers, to feel the heat radiating from his skin, and to hear his heart beating beneath her ear. She never imagined being separated from him would hurt as much as it did, but she supposed that was a conversation for another day. Andy was already calling her condo home, maybe soon enough they could make that official.
~oOo~
They had to get this suspect. Had to. There was no other option. He had killed his wife, their three children, and shot and injured a patrol officer. Men like him deserved to be hunted down and killed, and that's exactly what the Major Crimes unit intended to do, minus the killing part unless it was absolutely necessary.
Stay in the car. That was Andy's only job, seeing as his constant nagging to come along had worn both Sharon and Provenza's patience rather thin. "Yes, yes okay I know stay here, got it." Andy had responded defeatedly, "Be careful okay?" He questioned before leaning in and placing a kiss to her cheek, "I love you."
"I'll see you soon. And don't get out of the car!" She emphasised before holstering her handgun and jogging off to catch up with the rest of the squad.
It should've been easy (or as easy as catching a quadruple-murderer could be,) Sharon and Provenza would approach from the left side of the building, Tao and Julio from the right, and Amy from the center. He would be cornered, and that would be that. Only it wasn't, it couldn't be that simple, could it?
The killer, John Park, was on the run. Of course. He had seen the team coming and ran towards the back door of his house before Julio or Amy could catch up to him.
Now came the chase. They were trained for situations like this. Trained on how to apprehend a suspect that fled and was evading arrest. Typically the first option was to shoot, but Park was unarmed so that was out of the question.
"Hey!" Andy exclaims, quickly exiting the car and drawing his beretta, "Hands up! Put your hands up!" He exclaimed again as Park darted past him and continued on his way.
"This is Provenza, send backup to 620 Ridge Street, suspect is fleeing west towards 23rd."
"Copy that." Dispatch replied just as Park bolted into the street, stopping for a millisecond to weigh his options.
Andy followed. Dammit, of course Andy ran after him as fast as he could despite both Sharon and Provenza telling him to stop as they followed closely behind.
"Andy, stop! You're going to hurt yourself!" Sharon screams at him as Park turns quickly, running through a children's playground, "Andy!"
"No! I've got him!" He yells back just before lunging forward and taking out Park's knees, both of them tumbling to the ground, "You're under arrest, Dirtbag." Andy spits before handcuffing Park and hauling him off of the ground and to a standing position, "Let's g…"
Everything went black. If there was ever a time when Andy Flynn had been more scared in his life, he couldn't recall; not even when he had been stabbed had he been in this much pain.
It felt like drowning. Or suffocating. Or choking. It felt like everything, all at once, and amplified beyond belief. He could hear the blood pumping in his skull and the sounds of his laboured breathing.
"Andy! Andy can you hear me?!" His eyes fluttered open just long enough to register the blurry blob that was Sharon as she pressed her ear against his chest and listened for his breathing, "Provenza call an ambulance!" She exclaims as his eyes drift closed, "Andy, Andy stay awake okay? Listen to me, we're gonna get you to the hospital and they're going to do your surgery and everything'll be fine. Everything's going to be fine sweetheart, just keep breathing. The EMT's will be here any second, okay?" She reached up and gently stroked his cheek with her thumb, eliciting a rough cough from him. Sharon wished she could help him, she wished more than anything she could fix this. CPR wouldn't help. She couldn't do anything but wait for medics to arrive, "Andy, do you remember our first kiss?" She questions as Amy, Sanchez, and Provenza come to kneel beside their fallen friend, "Our first date, you asked me to Serve and I was so surprised I mumbled some sad excuse for an answer." She still had her ear pressed to his chest as she listened to his shallow breath, her hand running soothingly through his hair, "And it was the most amazing place I've ever been to. We stood out on the balcony overlooking the ocean. It was cool, breezy," tears were biting at her eyes as his heartbeat slowed, "I wanted to thank you for the amazing evening and when I turned to tell you, you grabbed me and kissed me." She lets out a watery laugh, "I think you were more surprised than I was, and you started it. I'll never forget that Andy. Just stay with me, please." She begged as the sounds of sirens could be heard racing down the hill, "You're gonna be okay, I promise." She whispered as his heartbeat slowed even more, the blue pallor to his lips becoming more and more visible, "I'm not going to let you leave me, not now, not ever, dammit!" Her voice was hardly a whisper now as the ambulance pulled up to them, "Everything's going to be fine, just keep breathing." She begged through her tears, placing a chaste kiss to his lips before the EMT's invaded the intimate moment.
~oOo~
If there was ever a more painful moment in her life, Sharon couldn't recall. Waiting anxiously to speak with a doctor or nurse, just someone, about Andy's condition. She knew it was a bad idea, bringing him along. He always had his way of finding trouble, and he had certainly done it again.
It wasn't good. She knew that much. He overexerted himself, the blood was pumping too fast and it couldn't get past the clot and into his brain. He was suffocating, and she held him, the only thing she could do.
Three minutes. Three minutes without oxygen and the human brain starts to become damaged. At five minutes, the brain dies, even if the body continues to function. God, she hoped he would be alright. More than anything she needed for him to survive this, needed to tell him that she loved him.
Not saying it back was foolish, incredibly foolish. She loved him, had loved him for quite some time now, but when he had said it earlier that morning she couldn't reciprocate. She reciprocated, just couldn't voice the words.
"Ms. Raydor?" An older man questions, walking slowly into the waiting room with a clipboard in hand.
"That's me." She shoots out of her chair and towards the man, the rest of the squad following, "How's Andy?" She questions shakily.
"Lieutenant Flynn," he reaches up and runs a hand through his dark hair. No. Sharon had done this more than enough times to know what was coming next, "He didn't make it. He was out of oxygen for seven minutes by the time we got him. We were prepping him for surgery when he passed away. We did everything we could. I'm so sorry."
If Provenza hadn't been there to steady her, Sharon would have undoubtedly toppled to the ground like a ragdoll, "Sharon, it's okay." He cooed, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her down to a hug, "I've got you." He whispered as she cried into his arms, his tears mixing with hers as the rest of the team mourned from a distance.
~oOo~
"Andy!" Sharon exclaims, sitting straight up in bed, a sheen of sweat mixing with the tears that trickled down her cheeks, "It was just a dream." She breathed out relieved, "Thank God it was only a dream." Rolling over to check her alarm clock as she steadied her breathing, she saw that it was nearly two o'clock in the morning. That didn't matter. What mattered was seeing Andy, holding him, and keeping him within arm's reach.
Still in her pyjamas, she writes a note for Rusty and heads down to her car before driving off.
~oOo~
"Sharon?" Andy questions sleepily, reaching up and rubbing his eyes as the light from the porch filtered through the doorway, "What are you doing here?"
"Andy, I…" Her voice was breaking and as soon as Andy regained his ability to see he could tell why. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her cheeks tearstained and her forehead visibly sticky from sweat. Whatever had brought her here was not good.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" He questions, gently grasping her shoulder and leading her into his home, "Sharon?"
"I love you." She breathes out before throwing herself into his arms and kissing his neck. It takes a moment for him to react, but once the shock wears off, he returns the embrace.
"Sweetheart, what's going on?" He asks worriedly, "Talk to me, please." He begs, reaching up and cupping her face as he peppered kisses across her cheeks and forehead, "You're scaring me."
"You're alive." She whispers, "I had a nightmare and I- and you… Andy!" She starts to cry and hugs tightly again as he reaches up and rubs her back, "I thought you were…" She couldn't even finish the thought.
"I'm here. I'm right here Sharon, see?" He questions, pulling her out of his arms to once again cup her face and brush away her tears, "Don't cry, everything's fine. I'm right here."
"I… I know." She shakes her head quickly and reaches up to wipe her nose, "I'm sorry. It's late. I don't know what I was thinking, coming over here at this hour of the night. I'll get going."
She turns to leave when she feels a light tug on her wrist, "I missed you." He admits, running his thumb soothingly over her knuckles, "Would you like to stay?" He asks hesitantly.
"Ah, I, uh, fine." She concedes, "You'll tell me if I hurt you at all, won't you?"
"I'm the best I've been since the accident." He replies, "Is that our word?" He grins, "Fine? Do you want to go on a date? Fine. How was your day? Fine. Do you want to stay the night? Fine." He mocks.
"Shut up." Sharon sniffles with a laugh, "Why do I put up with you?"
"I don't know." He shrugs, "Why do you?"
"I'm not sure." She admits, burying her face in his shoulder and closing her eyes.
"Come on, let's go to sleep." He suggests quietly, reaching up to stroke her hair in the way he knew she loved so much, "You don't have to worry about anything happening to me. I'll be right beside you the whole time."
"Thank you." Sharon whispers, leaning up on her tiptoes to peck his lips, "How did I ever get so lucky?"
"I could ask you the same question." He quirks an eyebrow, "But that's a conversation for tomorrow my love, I'm sure neither one of us are pleasant to be around without our beauty sleep."