ALL CREDIT BELONGS TO ORIGINAL OWNER. NOT MYSELF OF COURSE. I EFFING LOVE YOU WHO EVER YOU ARE IN A FRIENDSHIF KIND OF WAY!
WARNING: MAY MAKE YOU CRY OR FEEL BAD. AND THERE IS ANGST IN THE FOLLOWING:
Dear Seth,
I don't remember when we met.
Really, I don't.
All I remember is your laughter as you ran around
like a maniac, bringing joy (and annoyance) to all
of those around you.
Maybe you were seven, or it could have been eight.
I don't remember.
But dear lord, I really wish I could.
Maybe it's not important, that I remember the
specifics though, maybe it's just important that
I remember you.
My family had been camping on the beach, there
was a bonfire going on, you were there.
I do remember that.
You were there, and some older boy named Paul
was telling you how wolves came in the
night to steal away the pale faces.
He told me they would steal me away too.
He said giant claws were going to rip through the
thin material of my tent and I would wake
up to the huge furry face of death.
I almost wet myself, I was so frightened.
You chastised the older boy however, and took
my hand. You told me never to be afraid.
In that moment, I wasn't.
I wasn't, but only because you were there with me.
A common thread throughout our lives, no?
Our Dad's took a shining to each other, and though we lived a good ways from each other
our families stayed in close contact with each other.
You were fifteen when your Dad died.
You were fifteen when you told me you loved me.
Just a kid.
You weren't at the funeral.
Were you sick?
No, I suppose I know that you weren't, but
on that day I did wonder.
At any rate, I had missed out on seeing you, which lead to begging my Mom for keys and driving down to see you.
You were so big!
Your shoulders were massive compared to the last
time I had seen you, and sense when had you
been taller than me?
I thought I was dreaming.
It was kind of funny, I figured that you would
be down trodden, or at least that your smile
wouldn't be as permanent as ever.
I was so wrong.
You had rattled your poor old yellow house with the force
behind which you shoved your door open, leaping
down all five steps before wrapping me up
in your thick hot arms, a massive bear hug.
Your smile was wide, all the teeth showing, and with no hesitation you looked down at me.
"I love you."
Laughter.
I had exploded with laughter, Oh Lord what
had you been thinking?
You were fifteen, you were kid, a goofy, wide eyed,
optimistic, nonsense filled kid.
Your lips stuck out in a pout, you told me how serious you were.
I kept laughing.
You remember that right? Years later we laughed about
it together, how spur of the moment
your confession was, regardless of your sincerity.
I'm ashamed to remember how I kept thinking,
you were too young for me,
so damn attractive, but much too young.
Despite my stupid thinking process, a month later you kissed me.
Up until that point you had simply been my dear friend,
and the fact that your whole soul seemed
to bear itself in that simple action frightened me.
I had never felt something so real.
We must have kissed a million times sense than,
none were as pure as that sugar laced lip lock however, the stars baring witness to young love.
A year later I was laying on your bed,
stark naked, as you kissed your way down my neck,
allowing me to regain my breath as my chest heaved
from our glorious love making.
Your eyes had turned murky with lust, and I was watching them through my own haze as they changed
back to clear, innocent.
You were my first.
And I always thought my last.
Sixteen.
Seventeen.
We were so young, still so naive.
You had filled me in all the ways I had ever imagined,
and it was hard after that to feel as whole without
you at night.
We had been one.
Everything had been perfect, I cried, it felt
so right so pure, and I cried.
You just nuzzled your face in my hair and let me.
The fact that you had to patrol with Paul the next day
did little to dampen the glow that had surrounded
us after that.
We were now members of our very own special world.
That night was a mere month after you had first told me
of your...furry little secret.
I had nearly fallen of that darn cliff.
I didn't of course, thanks to my furry little knight
in fluffy armor.
Seth, I always wonder how you managed.
How you managed to stay so pure and optimistic, in the wake of tragedy and the evils of the world.
How you managed to glow brighter than ever, as the
lights of others faded to darkness around you.
You were my knight, my star, my sunshine, the one
thing that kept the evils of reality at bay.
And now you're gone.
Seth, we never got closure, we never got our happy ending, or our fairy tale wedding.
I never got to swell as the life we created grew inside of me.
I never got to see Italy with you, or bake those brownies we always talked about.
We never caught a leprechaun, or got married under the full moon.
They keep telling me that I need to move on,
that I need to speak my piece to you and then get up
and keep moving.
Seth, I'm trying, I'm really really trying,
but this gray slab in front of me isn't you.
This gray slab never held me close as I cried, or writhed against me in the heat of the night,
this gray slab never whispered 'I love you' or bought me root beer gummies just to see my face light up.
It never planned a life with me, or hugged me in a hot vice like grip.
This gray slab isn't you and it can't give me closure.
It doesn't matter.
I'm too scared of closure anyway, to scared to seek it,
because when that place inside my heart starts
to ebb it's aching, I'm too scared it will wash away your memory with it.
Seth I miss you.
I would give up sunshine, daylight, flowers, chalk, I would give up air, just for one last hug.
Just to go back to that moment, to that smile
you flashed me over your shoulder as you assured me everything would be alright.
Just so I could have kissed you once more, longer, deeper,
just so I could confess all the things I had been
holding back.
Because you weren't fine.
And I'm not fine without you.
I will never forgive the vampire that did this to you.
I will never forgive Emmet for turning his back.
Or Jasper for letting him through in the first place.
I will never forgive myself for letting you go.
But I will try to keep breathing, to keep reaching
for some type of broken dream.
Because that's what you were Seth, A dreamer.
And while I'm fine not forgiving myself I won't have you
up in heaven, mad at me,
that I let my life slowly go.
I was part of you.
You are part of me.
So I will keep going, if not just to keep
you alive and moving.
I won't let myself forget.
I love you Seth.
I always will, I always have.
I thought this one-shot was pretty great and sad what do you think? Review and tell me what you thought of it please