[see end for explanatory notes/references]
New Mercurial Heights
With a smile from ear to ear, he was first to pass the posts,
It was easy, completely natural.
…
Not black and white, but completely colourful.
And oh, I'm sorry that you didn't see it.
01 - Motion
To transform, a wolf that flies, ah, he'd give up this world a day sooner for that, to roam the universe, lonely savage, strong and straying on wired legs, belly empty and his pulse rattling under his tongue, and yet, still, winged, beating his feathers out, to cascade over the drunks of night - KenKen's trusted wingman.
02 – Cool
KenKen introduces his kiss with a prelude, – "why don't we both stop being dickheads for like, five seconds?" – and forgets his next line, spasming in hysterics from Koji's bland faceful of consideration, perfect English 'r' on the first syllable of "groovy".
03 - Young
Without knowing a lot of English, KenKen does know that Men-Tertainment, as a company name, is not only porn-tastic, but also very inaccurate, and he thinks of Koji, and his still-breaking voice, and the E-harp the musician lobs across the room at his head to say, hello, again.
04 - Last
Koji rubs with his index finger, orange-bubbled graze at the top of KenKen's spine, and ignores him as he worries the shirt label with only his oversized teeth, and continues to grouse:
"This is the last time I wear a shirt I get for nothing".
05 – Wrong
"I suppose as a candy, sperm capsules would be alright, as long as you refrigerated them."
"-uh, you wanna finish this, Koji?"
"You don't want it? Well, if you aren't gonna, then."
06 – Gentle
It was none of his business, but Koji wasn't sure why, when KenKen shifted his cap backwards and actually told him his top ten best sexual positions, he also smacked his nose to go with it, shrieking that it was none of his business.
07 – One
He writes Gyakkouand runs his hand to snag against the grain on the rotted sill; his agent smacked his coffee cup off the windowsill and urged him to pick one, any one, for the pitch, so Koji ran back through his mind and tried to see everything in words.
08 - Thousand
They break open the melon, find a thousand seeds inside; Koji swallowing, Koji stealing, Koji tipping back his head – Koji goes quiet, until KenKen notices his count is no longer good.
09 - King
He wipes sweat from the mic, shoves between Takumi and Kazuki and grips at his drink in the spinning red light, but he cannot take a sip after hearing Koji drawl:
"You can move to Vegas, and poledance to 'Jailhouse Rock' for all I care-Nagabuchi is still my King."
10 – Learn
Being KenKen's friend is a blessing, since he notices nothing; the slosh inside Araki's coat pocket, Ruito's marathon practice frenzy, Aiba's absences at lunch, Takumi's mysterious work late at night, Adachi's lengthening sleeves, Kotani's steady-breaking fingers, Kazuki's half-questions to Shirota.
11 – Blur
You are wonderful! You are worthy! The ornate chaise-lounge hurts his ass; Shogo ignores Kei's lengthening sulk to take the piss out of Ide for his 'rapping hands'; the director uses the crew's microphones to yell at the Executive Producer (who is also his wife); KenKen thinks of ohtori, spontaneous combustion, an explosion of feathers, crawling back into the crib, and how it sounds like a good way to go.
12 – Wait
They shake hairgel tubes, crude sketches of genitalia on napkins decorated with cartoon fruit, gutted pudding pots, a miscellany of time, off the benches, and prepare to serenade Washimi and his laryngitis for the new Seigaku Regulars, redeeming their absent castmate.
"That guy didn't come today, didn't even show up for today's show…"
"It's checkmate!"
13 – Change
Koji vows to stop feeding KenKen's Trolling Database with every confidential fact he hears about his castmates, childhood promises and eating disorders and car crashes and dark panics, and he changes that vow to an oath, as Kujirai Kousuke changes his scream to a roar and hops over the terrified snake to chase KenKen into the parking lot and pound on him until he apologises.
14 – Command
Look to my right, look to my left, look up, look down, look to the floor, look to the door, look left, look right, look at me, look at me, damnit, tell it to my face, tell me:
"I don't know if I can do it".
15 – Hold
It is the crossing to the Hokkaido performance; it gets real old, real fast; KenKen follows the harmonica to the cargo hold where the 'stowaway' crouches under a dripping bloated rope and plays like he hasn't eaten in days.
16 - Need
Koji hits him so hard that KenKen cannot open his mouth for several minutes, and his reply comes with a couple of backteeth afloat on blood.
.
"Me-and what-fuckin'-army? P-tth. Shit. The motherfuckin'-emperor gets buried with a thousand warriors, you-dickhead. Me? I don't need anyone, not one son-of-a-bitch, but if I do end up killing you, and if I do go any-fucking-place, heaven or hell or where-the-fuck-ever, you're coming the fuck with me, you bastard."
17 - Vision
Tenimyu's first Silver Pair forget to laugh at Ryunosuke and his odd paternal smile, and tipping on two legs on their plastic chairs, slamming each other with their ripped-jean knees, and biting their fingers in front of the tiny screen, they hear the caveat, once again:
"You'll get square eyes, idiots."
18 - Attention
"Oi, Koji-that's a sexy lookin' guy you picked up, there."
KenKen ruffles the newcomer's head, throws an invisible stick from behind his back; it's said that two's company, and three's the Musketeers.
19 - Soul
During the Tokyo get-in, KenKen bothers the tech guys at their lightboards and chats up the ticket girls at their phones, while Koji dawdles with his guitar in rooms Kazuki is in, the accompaniment to their growing repertoire of Earth, Wind and Fire hits.
20 - Picture
KenKen frowns into TAKUYA's mirror, as he cannot apply his makeup sitting up straight, as he cannot like his face without another next to it, as he cannot see himself anywhere in a looking-glass stuck with the Kodak aspects of a different young man.
21 - Fool
It is a surprise that a man as worldly as Ryunosuke is taken with Tarot; it is a wonder that Koji agrees to let paper and pictures muscle into his destiny; it is a shame when KenKen flinches from the card upturned on the vanity table.
22 - Mad
koji : insistence; ikoji : perversity; ichigenkoji : a person who always has to have his say; kojinten : one−man exhibition; koji : old temple; kojinkyouju : private instruction; kojireru : to grow worse; koji : ostentation; kojiki : beggar, begging.
23 – Child
By reaching around the half-pint and the giant, that snigger at their laces interwoven, (choreography, they call it), Araki takes back his scissors and goes at his fraying hair tips, saying aloud, to his captain or to no one:
"Direction? Psht, direction indeed. These two don't know their Gods above from their behinds", and Shirota does respond, whatever is said about it later; he lifts his head, yawns and expects something to actually happen.
24 - Now
Carpe diem scrawls across a tattered banner, and Koji has never seen such a cheery Koi, or such a terrible English pun, on the afternoon bus out of Osaka, KenKen handing back his tattoo design in coloured inks and paint and orange Sharpie.
25 - Shadow
The wings flutter and creak with years of superstitions, and KenKen grimaces, forgetting Shishido's softness or his curses; cause, the darkness the boy to his left casts, the shadow that curves and distorts, a mantis, a man of straw, an arabesque, a bird of prey.
26 - Goodbye
There ain't no show without you, there ain't gonna be any show without you, there wasn't a show before you came, that's why you came, so why is it he grabs his agent by both cheeks without speaking (he can't, he can't) and kisses his contract goodbye?
27 - Hide
"That move is unbelievably lame, Koji. How could it ever work? I mean, Australian Formation is stupid, but Inducement Formation? The hell, Konomi? How do you hide a guy with like, a million vertical inches on you? That guy is gonna get serious hate-mail about this, lemme tell ya."
28 - Fortune
It's like, sixty degrees, they lose seven balls, it gets to sixty-five degrees, Kenken gives him the game, 7-3, Koji gets the money to match his boarding pass, and just like that, he's off.
"Oh, you want your life back, huh? That'll be 50,636 yen, in cash, buddy."
29 - Safe
KKTough_Cookies: my AC just growled at me wat do I do help meeeee
KD_the rock: use punch
KKTough_Cookies: wat if my hand gets stuck in the fan tho
KKTough_Cookies: omg I have the fear big time I dont even think these drugs r real
KD_the rock: its not the drugs you take it's the drugs you make
KKTough_Cookies: lol thanx Yamato-buchou
KKTough_Cookies: how many laps
You have accessed a non-encrypted page and your computer may be at risk.
30 - Ghost
Tell me, are you the ghost of jealousy?
Koji, home alone and scared irrationally shitless, hovers the cursor over replay, mouthing lyrics through his cola, twitching with Thriller-precision, and does not even glance at the screen where the melody gurgles from the decayed flesh of a ghoul.
31 – Book
Ide Takuya hands the cell to KenKen, mouths "Koji?" and slinks from the meeting to bum a smoke from Kei on the balcony, unsure if he should treat the man on the phone as an enemy to him, or a victim.
"Huh. Well, rules are rules, and I'm sure, since you're also a professional musician, you know you have to book in advance if you want to collaborate."
32 – Eye
Camera D picks up no footage of the Kyoto production of Dream Live 4th, which KenKen attributes to Adachi's mucking-around with the boom mic, and not to the night he got a crunch out of the fisheye lens, a smash protesting his involvement with Koji's body close to expensive equipment.
33 – Never
Koji chews at the teeth made of glass gripping his mouth and decides never again to kiss a man that wears that much makeup outside rehearsal - Kazuki's skin tastes of salted butter, and his nails shimmer.
34 – Sing
A natural teacher knows his student, and Koji's shoulder muscle beats a helpless tattoo in time with KenKen's growing lilt and quaver from over the net; the ball crumples into the grass behind him, unstopped, and going to retrieve it Koji realises that he has also stopped letting his partner win.
35 – Sudden
There is red, and there is blue, there is a broken catgut string, there is a squeal and a carpet bites, there is an eyebrow, there is friction between skins; the trip ends thirteen minutes after KenKen ingests.
36 - Stop
KenKen forgets to apologise to the girl in whose bust he lands, and later, cast and coaches frowning down on him, he explains the improbable science that the stop block of his left skate refused to come to his aid at the edge of the AirMyu ramp.
37 – Time
Enough, too much, more life and more living than he ever wanted anyway; here would be a good place to call time, but not before he gets to kick off at someone, and he spits at Koji and yells at him to quit staring, and act like he gives a flying fuck.
38 - Wash
Chrome, ceramic, alum, skylight, air, water, bubbles, oils, colours, worlds, cascades, turning, hot, cold, gold, ripple, snatch, chemical, glaze, grip, steam, cool, step, sear, pain, hand, lead, distort, chalk, limb, body, double, wrinkle, cool, swallow, quicken, quieten, visibility.
39 – Torn
KenKen stays seated; Cinepuri disappoints, credits roll, friends and unknowns flitter past, and it does not matter, because all films end the same way for him, voices and faces from the celluloid river that sink in black glass, because when he stands his mouth is dry and quiet.
40 – History
Koji droops against the broken hinges at the entrance to the recently vacated study room, rubbing static and dry Penal Tea out of his hair, and he shrugs at the janitor, and at the oily keys to the mimeograph room that he lets skitter across the desk.
41 – Power
KenKen steals gum from his pocket, and then asks Aiba what it's like to be Shinken Blue, and Aiba cannot recall ever explaining after KenKen and Takumi simultaneously strike his pose, and shrill in his nasal whine-"Let's BU-SHI-DO!"
42 – Bother
Koji is poor with introductions; he sneers and clicks his tongue in irritation, leaning away from Shogo's boiled breaths, while a set of scabbed knuckles corkscrew past his collar and connect with the 'No Smoking' on the backstage door.
"You want to work with us? Fuck, man, you got some nerve talking like that where I can hear it. It's great you got the spark back, but-we all know how you feel about obligations, Ohtori."
43 – God
Both go for the clean shirt that lies on the side of their communal clothespile, and the reason is that KenKen smells bad, and that Koji kind of likes it that way, and one of them says:
"I guess God's out of ideas for us".
44 – Wall
Paint crusts over Koji's nostrils, the creases in his arms, rasps dry between his teeth and gums; KenKen's desire to pull pranks outweighs his considerable ego when it comes to the subject of his Idol DVD.
45 – Naked
Shirota runs out of karaoke and into the bar without his clothes a third night running, and Koji has used up all his second-hand shame, wringing at the flesh on KenKen's warm right arm, his trembling diaphragm lacking that strength and control.
46 - Drive
Atop a high rise in the sidelong rain, a tall man and a crooked man wave metal rods in threat to the opposite rooftop, their hard white hearts clambering around their chests for oxygen; Koji is a singer and a lover and a storyteller, and Koji's grandfather is a golfing man.
47 – Harm
You think I'm not gonna come back. You didn't stop me leaving, and I won't stop you loving. You're good at it. Keep doing it. Love everybody, keep loving me, like always, but sometime, get around to trusting me, too.
Knowing he is going to burn it, KenKen does consider a less destructive response - headlocking Koji and making him and chew it and swallow it the next time they meet.
48 – Precious
All this time-all this time-waiting for the prize-all this time-all this time
waiting for more fun.
49 - Hunger
If KenKen is bored, his camera; if KenKen is upset, his camera; if KenKen is cringing before his fat and well-kept fears, his camera; if KenKen is hungry, he is sure to reach over both Koji and Kazuki and steal their dinner candles, his bright lights, stunning the seconds into smiles, the table a stage to devour his quiet and brilliant ache.
50 - Believe
"Date, what poor fuzzy critter gave up his tail to make this weirdness happen? Huh? You gonna spill? Or do I gotta tell on you to PETA? We may be old buddies, but don't think I won't do it, pal."
KenKen misses his first call to perform 'Kimi Ga Ita Kara' because he thinks he will trip on the high stage staircase, because he thinks he has forgotten the words to the bridge, because of what it is to see a boy grow into a man, because he continues to tug at Koji's hair in disbelief for long minutes after Kazuki insists it is real.
I'd go like this, without thinking.
And oh, I'm sorry that you didn't see it,
And oh, it makes me feel awkward, that you didn't forsee it.
END
Explanatory Notes
Epigraph – Lyrics. 'Gyda Gwen (New Mercurial Heights)' by the Welsh band Catatonia. Song heavily inspires this fic. Go listen, it's awesome.
01 – A song on Koji's debut album Gyakkou is titled 'Lonely Wolf', allegedly in response to TAKUYA comparing Koji to a lone wolf.
03 – As of the time of writing, both Koji and KenKen have performed in Men-Tertainment-related events with JOKER and Cocoa Otoko respectively. There's photo evidence online somewhere, but I have no link.
04 – Dream Live 4th Backstage, 2:51. Look at the background. KenKen removes his shirt mid-rehearsal to examine something (an itchy label?) and consults Koji about it.
07 – Koji's debut album is titled Gyakkou, which to my (very limited) understanding translates roughly into English as: backlight, adversity, retrograde, moving in the wrong direction, against the grain, retrogression.
09 – Dream Live 3rd. Koji does a Nagabuchi impression.
11 - Cocoa Otoko's PV 'Rebirth', in which the band sit on posh chairs, and Ide makes weird hand gestures and does a backflip from standing.
12 - Dream Live 4th Backstage. Koji and KenKen sing a song together about a missing castmate (it is never made clear who it is, so I chose Washimi).
14 – Dream Live 3rd Backstage, and the infamous game of JanKenPon!.
17 – Tenimyu's Supporter's DVD 3: Hyotei Edition. Koji, KenKen, Washimi and Ryunosuke huddle around a TV and watch their performances to mock each other.
30 – Michael Jackson's comeback hit 'Ghosts' from the album Blood on the Dancefloor. Has a scary short film based on it.
39 – Cinepuri got terrible critical reviews despite respectable box office takings.
41 – Aiba Hiroki, of course, played Shinken Blue (Blue Ranger) in Samurai Sentai Shinkenger.
44 – KenKen's Idol DVD Fleeting Diaries, which sees our hero writhing in blue paint for no adequately explored reason.
50 – See any picture of JOKER to get caught up on Date Koji's hair situation. Must be seen to be believed.