The Boy Saw a Comet
It was a comet.
New home. New school. Yet, nothing felt new to Jude. He knew how this worked. He and Callie go to a different home, they would stay there for a while, until he finally learned his way around. Callie would do something. They would be pulled from the home the next day. There was no escaping the pattern. It was just how things worked. And Jude could tell Callie was already on the path to destroying things. He wasn't blind. He could tell the way her and Brandon looked at each other, even in the short time they'd been there. It was only a matter of time before Stef and Lena noticed too and sent them back into the system.
But, as always, Jude decided to make the most of it while he could. But, he wouldn't get his hopes up to make many friends or grow close with anyone. He never did.
He nodded to Lena as she said goodbye to him at the door to the classroom, then entered the room, handing the teacher the note.
"Jude?" She asked, reading the note, then looking at the boy and smiling. Jude nodded. "Welcome to Anchor Beach. I'm Mrs. Johnson," she introduced, then turned her attention to her class. "Class! This is our new student, Jude Jacob. Please make him feel welcome!" she broadcasted her voice across the classroom. Jude kept the small smile on his face as the teacher turned to him. "Why don't you go take a seat in the back?" Mrs. Johnson suggested, pointing to an empty seat near the back of the classroom.
Jude nodded at the teacher, then made his way to the back of the classroom and took his backpack off, placing it beside the chair and then sitting down.
"Hi!" A boy spoke softly from beside Jude. "I'm Connor." Jude took in the sight of the boy. Connor had long sandy hair that fell just above his hazel eyes. He had slightly sun-kissed skin and a warm smile spread across his face. He was a few inches taller than Jude, even in his sitting position Jude could tell.
Jude finally returned the smile. "I'm Jude."
Jude tilted his head as Connor laughed. "Mrs. Johnson already told us. But, it's nice to meet you, Jude!" Connor told him. Jude felt his smile grow.
"Thanks. It's nice to meet you too."
Maybe things wouldn't be the same.
The boy saw the comet.
Nail polish was pretty, Jude decided. Especially this color. Lena was right. What was wrong wasn't him, but the people who made him feel bad about being who he was. So, he redid his nails and wore it to school the next day, ignoring Callie's comments.
He received more stares and glares, but no one confronted him like Blake and Jeremy had the day before. He felt confident in himself. But, the voice in the back of his head kept bringing up how Connor hadn't done anything to help. Jude had thought that he had finally made a friend. But, if Connor couldn't stand up for him, then Jude guessed he didn't have a friend.
Jude pushed his way through the crowded lunch room, sitting down at a table. He kept his eyes down as the kids at the table got up and left as he sat down. Jude didn't pay much attention as he let his backpack fall onto the bench and he unrolled the brown bag. Jude looked up as a lunch tray was placed beside him. Connor sat down next to Jude and smirked at the boy. Jude turned his eyes away from Connor, pulling open the bag and reaching in and pulling out his sandwich. Jude paused as he saw a flash of blue. He fixed his eyes back on Connor, seeing the other boy still smirking at him, his hands holding a sub. But, that's not what Jude was focusing on.
Jude was focused on Connor's nail polish. The color matched the exact one that Jude was wearing. Jude felt a smile grow on his face as he registered what Connor had done. He looked up and met Connor's eyes. Connor nodded slightly, then turned his attention to his sandwich and took a bite. Jude looked at his own and took a bite, the smile on his face only growing as he shared another look with Connor.
Maybe he did have a friend.
And he felt as though his life had meaning.
"And I think it will be best if we work in pairs, that'll make it easier for the two of you. So, everyone needs to pick a partner," Mrs. Parker finished explaining the project. Jude watched as everyone got to their feet and found partners. He shifted his eyes around the room, looking as everyone paired up. No one wanted to work with him. He was the new kid. The foster kid. The weirdo with the nail polish. Jude turned his head forward and tilted his head as he saw Connor still sitting.
Jude watched the other boy shift in his seat and turn around, his smile brightening as he spotted Jude. "Do you have a-"
"No," Jude answered the question he knew was coming, shaking his head slightly. He felt hopeful all of a sudden.
"Do you wanna be mine?" Connor asked hopefully. Jude smiled and nodded furiously. He watched as Connor got up and sat in the next seat behind him. "How about I come over on Saturday? My mom doesn't like it when kids come over. She says it gives her migraines," Connor explained, laughing lightly. Jude stifled his own laugh before nodding.
"Yeah, okay. I mean, I have to ask, but..." Jude trailed off as Connor's mouth formed a grin.
"Okay! Well, let me know," Connor told Jude, who nodded.
"Okay, everybody, back to your seats!" Mrs. Parker's voice rang through the classroom again and Connor turned back around and sat in his assigned seat. Jude faced forward, a smile lighting his features.
Yeah, he did have a friend.
And when it went away.
"So guess what?" Jude started as he moved over to Connor, a grin across his face. "Moms just bought me Dawn of Armageddon 4! I haven't even played it yet. We can open it when you come over!" He suggested, bouncing on his heals. It had been four months since Jude had decided that Connor was in fact his friend, and things had been going great. He had finally been adopted, finally had a home with Stef, Lena, Brandon, Mariana, and Jesus. No, Callie hadn't been adopted, but she was going to be, as soon as her biological father signed the papers. He and Connor had become best friends, but Jude was staring to think he liked Connor as more than that. But, he didn't have to worry about questioning his sexuality because he knew his family loved him.
"I can't spend the night tonight," Connor told him, eyes on the ground. Jude frowned, furrowing his eyebrows.
"Oh, okay. What about Saturday?" Jude asked, tilting his head. Why was Connor acting so weird?
"I kinda can't sleep over your house... ever," Connor explained, bending his head again. Jude's heart sank.
"What?"
"It's my dad, okay? He won't let me," Connor explained, looking up, but still avoiding Jude's eyes.
"Why?" Jude asked, trying to meet Connor's eyes. Was this a joke? He watched Connor stutter, then finally look at him. "I-It's okay. Just tell me," Jude pressed. What had he done to make Adam not like him?
"I know it's not true, but my dad won't let me sleep over your house because he thinks you're gay," Jude felt a lump form in his throat. How could Mr. Stevens even have guessed? Jude didn't even know if he was gay or not, how could Mr. Stevens? "I know you're not!" Connor defended quickly. Jude frowned. Connor really thought he wasn't, didn't he? "I just, I have to do what he says. I'm sorry," Jude's eyes fell to his feet as Connor turned back to his locker. There was one thing nagging at Jude. He could already tell Adam Stevens wasn't accepting of being gay... but did that mean Connor wasn't either?
"What if I was gay?" Jude asked. Connor paused, closing his locker and looking at Jude.
"What do you mean?" Connor asked, eyebrows furrowed.
"Would you not wanna sleep over my house? If I really was gay?" Jude asked. He watched Connor avoid his eyes again, sighing and stuttering. Jude's face dropped. He finally had a friend, only to find out they wouldn't accept him.
He waited his entire life for it to come back to him.
"Hey, wait up!" Jude rolled his eyes as he heard Connor calling for him. He continued walking, feeling Connor's arm brush his as the other boy joined his side. "Where you been? I was looking for you at lunch," Jude ignored him as they turned the corner. "Is this about what my dad said? Because, you know, I don't care if you are... you know," Jude forced himself not to scuff at that last comment. "Are you?" Jude had had enough.
"What? Gay? You can say it, it's not a bad word. But, why do I have to be anything?" Jude asked, shaking his head.
"What do you mean?" Connor asked. Was Jude really the only one who didn't get it?
"Why does everyone go around labeling people all the time, putting us in boxes? I don't get it," Jude explained, watching Connor's reaction.
"No, you're right. I'm sorry, I won't do that anymore," Connor responded, sounding sincere. But, Jude was still angry.
"And what about your dad? He doesn't want us hanging out, right?" Jude asked.
"He doesn't have to know," Connor decided. Jude shook his head, breathing a sigh.
"Yeah... I don't wanna be anybody's secret. Tell your dad I said it was nice knowin' ya," Jude finished, walking away from Connor. He wasn't going to be a secret or hidden. He was going to be Jude. And that was just fine.
It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life.
Jude turned around, his eyebrows furrowed as he saw Connor standing in the doorway of his bedroom. "Hey! What are you-"
"I told my dad I wanted to come over," Connor interrupted, looking at Jude with a smile. Jude's eyebrows raised.
"And he said it was okay?" Jude asked. He doubted Adam was just suddenly okay with Connor coming over.
"I didn't ask if it was okay," Connor responded, his smile growing as he looked at Jude. Jude felt his heart lift. Connor had stood up to his dad for him. Jude smiled, glancing at the ground. "So, you guys having a party?" Connor asked, stepping further into the room.
"We are, now that we have four people."
Direction.
Jude watched as the bottle slowed to a spot. Pointing at him. The app made the odd kissing noise it had every time as he looked up and met Connor's eyes.
"We don't have to kiss, do we?" Connor asked, making Jude's stomach drop. He knew Connor would never reciprocate the feelings that Jude was questioning for him, but hearing that hurt.
"Well, those are the rules," Chelsea spoke up.
"Fine," Connor decided after hesitating.
"No, this is dumb!" Jude stopped them. He wasn't going to force Connor to do something he obviously didn't want to. "We should stop."
"No, it's cool. Let's just do it," Connor told him. Jude gave in. He took a breath, then they were both leaning in, over the phone in the center. They got so close Jude could feel Connor's breath on his lips - heavy as his own. Then the door swung open.
Beauty.
"Here, can I show you?" Connor asked, moving over on his knees to the side of the bed, holding out his hand for Jude to put the tablet it. Jude hesitated, then nodded, handing it to Connor.
The boy got to his feet, then leaned back on the bed, sitting down beside Jude. Jude felt his breath hitch as Connor's side pressed against his own. "See here? This is the fastest way to level up," Connor explained, but Jude's attention was completely gone from the game. He lifted his eyes from the game, his eyes lingering on Connor. His face was illuminated by the tablet screen. His sandy blond hair was ruffled, his hazel eyes narrowed in concentration, but shinning. His lips formed a small open mouthed smile. Jude always loved looking at Connor, he was very attractive after all. And after their kiss in the tent, it had cleared his mind. He knew for sure that he liked Connor. But, Connor doesn't like him. He likes Daria. Still... it had been Connor to kiss him... and Connor to hold his hand in the movie theater.
Jude focused his eyes back on the screen, but leaned closer so he could see the game. "There's no more of these troops, we have to bring in some of these guys over here. And they will distract them," Connor explained, tapping his fingers on the screen to complete the action.
"Yeah, you also gotta send troops over there, too." Jude added, his hand brushing Connor's as he moved his hand on the screen.
"Nice! Good job!" Connor shouted as the Krayt Dragon died.
"Yes! We got it!" Jude agreed, laughing. Connor lifted his hand for a high five which Jude obliged to.
"Finally!" Connor laughed.
"Onto the next one," Jude smiled. He couldn't help enjoying this. Seeing Connor with Daria was a small price to pay for having Connor back in his life.
Meaning.
Jude nodded at Adam as he turned and closed the door to Connor's hospital room. Jude turned back to face Connor, a smile on his face. Connor had his own smile on, which seemed to light up the room.
Connor sat up as Jude took the three, four, five, six, seven steps to Connor's bed. As Jude reached the bed, he glanced down at Connor's foot, then back over at Connor, the smile still on his face. Connor tilted his head, leaning forward and taking Jude's hand in his, looking at his blue nail polish.
"What's this?" Connor asked.
"Warpaint," Jude answered simply after a moment, smiling over at Connor. Connor's grin grew, and he scooted over for Jude to join him on the bed. Jude did so, his leg half-falling off the side of the bed. He rested his head against Connor's as they both stared up at the TV. Silence was all they needed right now. They had a lot to talk about. Like Connor and Daria, or Connor's dad, or even what they were. But, for now, all they needed was the two of them and silence. That held enough meaning for them.
There were many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them.
Two weeks. It had been two weeks since Connor and Jude had officially become boyfriends. And things were going great. Until now.
"Okay, wait, wait, wait. So, you two are gay for each other?" Aiden rudely asked as he turned around from catching a football. Jude's face fell.
"Yeah? So what? You got something to say about it?" Connor asked, moving forward. Jude blinked, his eyes looking from Connor and Aiden. Hadn't they agreed on not saying anything about their relationship at school?
"No, man. It's all good. I just heard, I thought-"
"You thought what?" Connor asked, his voice angry.
"Nothing, man. It's cool," Aiden decided, backing up from Connor.
"Then get out of my face," Connor demanded. Aiden nodded before walking away. Jude could hear Taylor and Daria talking by their beach blanket, but he turned to Connor.
"I thought we weren't gonna say anything!" Jude shouted, his eyes narrowed. Connor took a step back, his face falling. He opened his mouth to speak before Taylor interrupted him.
"Don't be mad at Connor! It wasn't him. It was me," Taylor admitted, shame evident on her face.
"What?" Connor asked. Jude just stood there dumbfound, trying to process all of this.
"Well, I thought I was helping," she started, facing Connor. "I thought you were the one who didn't want to come out. I figured no one was gonna care. I'm sorry," Taylor apologized, looking between the two.
"It's not like anyone cares if you're gay," Daria added, directing it at Jude. Jude narrowed his eyes. This was exactly why he didn't want to tell anyone.
"I'm not gay, okay?" Jude told them. He shook his head. He had to get out of there. He turned and hiked his way up the beach, ignoring the sound of Connor calling his name.
But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him.
Jude watched from the corner of his eye as Connor struggled onto the rocks with his crutches. "I've been looking all over for you!" Connor exclaimed as he maneuvered his body onto the rock beside Jude. "You know, you could have made it a little easier on me. I am on crutches," he explained, adjusting his crutches and placing his bad foot on the rock below. They sat in silence for a moment, Jude not making a move to acknowledge Connor's presence. "So... I don't get it," Connor started, turning to face Jude. "What do you mean you're not gay?" Jude didn't respond. He swallowed, keeping his eyes on the water. Connor continued to look at him, waiting for a reaction. "Do you not like me?" That got a reaction.
"No! Of course I like you!" Jude answered, turning to face Connor. How could Connor think he didn't like him? Connor hesitated.
"Do you not like me like that?" he asked, looking at Jude with doubt in his eyes.
"No, I do, I just-" Jude paused, sighing. He bit his lip and turned forward. "My whole life, I've always been labeled as something. 'The new kid', or 'the foster kid', or 'the kid with the dead mom'. And I'm sick of it. I mean, why can't I just be Jude?" Jude asked, turning to look at Connor. "I just wanna be Jude for a while," he finished, sighing. Connor nodded, looking at Jude intently.
"Does that mean you don't wanna be my boyfriend?" Connor asked. Jude looked at Connor like he'd grown an extra head.
"No."
"Okay..." Connor paused, looking down, a smile forming on his face. "Okay, good. 'Cause I thought-"
"No. I promise," Jude interrupted, looking at Connor sincerely. He moved his hand over, nudging it against Connor's hand. Connor understood, lifting his hand and taking Jude's. Jude responded by wrapping his hand around Connor's and moving his thumb down Connor's. They shared a smile, then looked out at the ocean. It was another moment before Jude shifted his position and rested his head on Connor's shoulder. Connor smiled and rested his head on Jude's.
And his world would be whole again.
"I think I'm gonna go live with my mom," Connor responded. Jude's heart dropped. He looked at Connor, his eyes wide and his eyebrows furrowed.
"In LA?" he took a step closer to his boyfriend. He shook his head. "But... why?" he asked.
Connor hesitated, looking at the flowers in his hand. "My dad's not... okay. With us," he paused, sighing and closing his eyes. "With me," he finished, looking at Jude. Jude felt his breath hitch. He searched Connor's eyes for anything telling him it was a joke. When he found none, he took the flowers from Connor and placed them on their table, then turned back to Connor and pulled him into a hug, closing his eyes tightly. He felt Connor hesitate before wrapping his arms around Jude's waist.
"You'll be okay," Jude whispered.
The boy saw the comet, and suddenly his life had meaning.
Jude took Connor's hand and led him over toward a corner of the courthouse. Connor followed, a confused look on his face.
"Hey, so, I've been thinking," Jude started, dropping Connor's hand and leaning against the pillar. "Maybe... maybe you should go live with your mom," Jude admitted, watching Connor's face turn even more confused. "At first, when your dad said that you asked him to let you go... I didn't get it. At all," Jude started, averting his eyes. "But, I was watching you in there, when Callie was talking about how great it is to be... you know," Jude paused, smiling softly. "Happy. And safe. And to have a family that is really, truly there for her," he stood up straighter, making sure he was looking at Connor straight on so he knew he meant every word. "And I want you to have that. Because..." he paused, taking a breath and preparing for what he was about to say. He glanced Connor up and down. "I love you." he finished, watching Connor's reaction.
Connor smiled. "I love you, too," Connor answered instantly. Jude smiled, breathing a small laugh.
"And, hey! LA isn't that far, right? I mean, there are trains," he suggested, his smile dropping at he looked at Connor as he finished. They both leaned forward, Jude wrapping his arms around Connor's shoulders and Connor wrapping his around Jude's waist. They squeezed each other in a tight hug, just enjoying the feeling of being in each others arms.
Connor had brought so much joy to Jude's life. And Jude had brought the same to Connor. They'd make it work. They weren't just comets passing in the night. They were stars. And they weren't giving up for anything.
Woop! Woop! Finished it! This has taken me nearly a month to write. Oops? Onto the next! Also, possible video edit to go with it coming.
Follow me on Tumblr at jonnorlandfill.
I don't own anything you may recognize.
-HJ