Cayde 6- 'Go To the Light'
AN/ -Just a last goodbye to a Character I love and reminded me so much so of somebody I cared about.
Its far from perfect but, its really closure for me.
'Farewell Good Hunter. May you find your worth in the waking world' – The Plain Doll
Enjoy.
'You tell, Zavala, Ikora. The Vanguard. Was the best bet I ever…Lost…"
Then darkness, a pure dark. Something I'd never seen before. I know right? Something I've not seen? Me! The gun-slinger who's taken down armies, stood there in my majestic glow of solar energy. Me who has challenged cosmic Gods and come out onto. Me who took the dare and was forced into a place where hunters don't belong.
But this, this was something else, I was empty, alone. This is what the darkness was, a void. A lonely void deprived of everything, no heat no cold no light just a blackness that surrounded me. I'd seen this before, many a time this empty space. This scarce and desolate place. I knew, I knew it well from the countless times something had brought me to an end. But I was never lonely, not like this time. There was no warmth of the little light that stood beside me all this time, that kept me up and running that brought me back over and over. She was gone…Sundance…She was simply gone. It was like a piece of me was ripped away my very core. The thing that kept me here, or there should I stay. My anchor that held me down it was gone, she was gone. And all I could do now was float, and float in this endless place. This time I wasn't coming back. This time she couldn't pull me back into the world I spent so damn long keeping safe. This time there were no flashes, no little hints of what might have been or what had been. No instance of my Ace, My Queen, and what I hoped to be the truth….This time…I-I'm alone. This time I'm afraid….
It's so dark, I can't tell if my optics are on or off, I can't tell If I'm choosing to view this place or if I'm keeping whatever lays before me away from my sight. Do I dare ask? Is it something I want to know….No…? It's not….But knowing me…I can't resist that itch, that temptation, that want to see what I shouldn't. It's all I ever seem to do really…With that in mind I felt them my optics ignite into a flash of blue allowing me to fully see what I had assumed. I was not wrong. A darkness, an emptiness a desolate land with nothing. Nothing. Was I real? Was this real? Was this just the shutdown of an exo unit that had now began to fully die? Shut off all its systems and fully go offline. Was this the slow death that accompanied me?
But then-
A light, so bright, so pure, it bled into my optics and seeped along my body claiming it. Caressing each part of me. That warmth, that warmth I knew so well. That warmth I was touched by so long again which allowed me to return over an' over. It was so familiar, yet so alien. It was light in its purest form. That rawness, that thrill as I felt it seep through my circuits and caress me, warp me, enfold within me. The heat, the heat was all I could want now. A way to escape the void. A way to feel that true warmth that true light.
It had felt like years since this feeling had come over me. This light, this drug. This everything, it made the dark leave my core. It felt right.
The light cascaded around me and warped itself into something new. It twisted and contorted into something new. I saw as the light spread, it flew across a new ground seeping into the space and sprouted new life from it, grass so green as wild as what you would find out in the wilds, it flew along twisting and turning, appearing just for me to take a footing in this new plane.
I felt my body lower, slowly as my boots met this new ground with a soft 'crush' from the new shrubbery taking on the weight of my exo person. I watched again in awe as the light spread around again and began to shift and warp into trees, orange and gold sprouting into leaves as it cast along my visionary line, forming a tunnel of bark and leaf. If it had been any other occasion I would conclude that this place would make an effective place to camp…or meditate if you were into that Warlock stuff. But I digress I my focus was taken back to this creation I had been witness to as the light spread into the sky and cast a light blue glow that was highlighted by a orange glow as it seemed like light had begun to set for the night to come in. Well I would arrive in an unknown place that could be hostile at night wouldn't I? Come on its me.
This place was so odd. It was like I'd stepped into a painting almost, a world crafted around me. Looking down I saw a set of cobbles that ran through the shrubs and turned past each tree. Am I meant to take this? Go along the little cobble road singing in the dreamy place. If that's he case where's the cute dog and scarecrow to go with this Tin man.
I felt my jaw twitch a little, half wanting to say that out loud…But non to hear. My body straightened and I took a step forward. "Well nothin' better to do." I stated, and then began to follow the road that probably lead to more doom, one can only hope.
The walk was tranquil, If you're in to that thing, the quiet sound of nature, little noises from the cracking stones under my feet, to the rustling of branches as they blew in the wind. To the little chirps of bird…Wait there are birds here? Where the hel- Really that the factor that has you questioning this place? The fact that birds are chirping, not the world been formed around me….The birds did it!
I sighed and paused, looking down at the ground. "What are you doing Cayde?" What is this? Where is this? How is this? Questions I should have asked way, way earlier. But nope I was too curious about the changes. Typical me, look at the pretty thing and hope it doesn't blow up my face... Nah' I'm not that bad. I wouldn't let that happen…again…Ah well. But seriously, this place. What is it? Why was I here? A-And how was I here? Wasn't I supposed to be going into this 'Great Beyond' and collapsing into an abyss? If Exo's go there…I mean it's a human brain so yes? I honestly have no idea and now doesn't seem like the time to become philosophical or have an existential crisis.
Still walking my hand drifted to my belt slowly moving to my holster. Fallen could be here, or some space rhinos maybe…To be honest something to shoot at, anything would be less stressful than the creepy pained world before me. I clasped the step of the holster and…Nothing…My optics blinked as I looked down. Its gone…Ace…Its gone. Turning my head around I circled the road trying locate the precious Ace…But it wasn't there. It's gone…Wait a second. Uladen. That little royal prick has my gun! My cashes! MY COLONEL! Oh no no no no! I felt my face plates mould into a frown, almost a fury. Been dead was irrelevant now if that ass stormed the tower and went for my chicken I swear I'll…
Rustle
With a sharp turn, towards the alien noise I braced myself for what may come. I scanned to the origin of the sound as my optics darted across the path trying to note any change and disturbance. My auditory sensors trying to pick up a click of a gun, a wosh of a stealth drive, anything. anything that would mean I'd have some baring of what and where it was. Honestly even a taken would make sense of this senseless place. But nope. Nothing. All I can see is the orange sun cascading through the branches trickling into spots of light on the old cobbles, covered in dying leaves. It honestly didn't seem like this world was made before my eyes. It looks so old so worn like its been here the entire time. Like it's always been here. Before…Anything?
Rustle
There it is! There! Just ahead a slight rumble in a bush that sat on a small corner of the cobbled road as it turned into the more dense forest.
Should I call out? Hey ugly ass fallen that you? Should I walk away…..Nah I wanna' see what it is.
So I ran! My boots scratching and scuffing along the cobbled road. It was safe to say that my arrival wasn't going to be subtle. Not in the least. But come on its me, keeping a low profile wasn't exactly on the table. So running towards the unknown was the best idea at the time. Give a dead man some leeway will ya' I just wanna' see.
I saw it! A figure, a small-ish figure standing near the side of the road. Must be a Fallen! Must be a Fallen, maybe Its friendly? Probably not but maybe not. If not then well it's me were talking about here. I'll so something crazy and walk out unsaved. Always works…er mostly.
The figure's head turned and stared, probably unnerved about the tin man bolting towards it. It backed into a tree with a speed I hadn't seen in a long time, staring at the shaded tree the figure seemed like it was trying to become one with the bark. But then I realised that was no fallen.
"You're a kid…." Bravo Cayde old boy, I stated towards the small figure who was wide eyed and clasped onto the tree for dear life.
He wasn't all that old, maybe about 12, 13 by my reckonin' Short brown hair that was slightly spiky, at least I think it was brown, been hidden under the shade of the tree was troublesome even for my old optics and blue eyes, bright eyes full of youth, a pale blue that seemed almost- they were wide. Super, super wide. Was he shaking? I mean I might have scared the kid a little but was it that bad. Those eyes through so wide, the whites of it reddened with the sudden stress. Wow I really did spook the kid.
"H-Hey…You ok?" I said raising a hand as if to say hello to him. Tryin' to be nice, my head lowered. "Kid?"
He just stared at me with those eyes, wow this was awkward and creepy. I really would have taken a cabal with a canon at my face over the little figure here. What can I say the way he was looking it really seemed to burn in a way. That fear, something so well human. Guardian's never seemed to act like that. I mean fear is a little obsolete when you just come back after goin' down to a big ugly. Something which a Guardian should never do! Always win!
"Kid?" I stated again,
that seemed to do the tic, as he let out a sigh and placed a hand on his chest as if to keep it in there. I swear I could almost hear the pounding with my own sensors. This kid was real afraid of me. His head lowed as he let out another sigh and then slowly looked back up to me.
"What the hell did you do that for?!" The kid blurted…Eh? I tilted my head. "I'm just walkin' and suddenly I see a pair of blue glowing eyes bolting for me and warp speed! Seriously what the hell robot? What the hell are you doing out here?! What the hell are you bolting at me for? Where's your owner?"
I tilted my head, my face plate shifting into a crooked brow. "Robot? What you think I'm some little sweeper guy who's gonna' go beep boop sorry to disturb you?" I crossed my arms waiting for this smart ass to come up with something.
His mouth finned into a line, nah' a line is too simple that was a sulk. A sulky face for the kid who didn't wanna' see me eye to eye. "I thought your were a fallen…You know big ugly like to shoot ya' when they see ya'. Thought I'd beat it to the shooting part." I kind of wanted to smirk but smirking was always hard for me.
The kid stood there, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he mulled over the statement. "Well I'm not a…Fallen was it?" His head tilted. Does this kid not know? Are city dwellers that naïve? Nah they can't be. Oh well it didn't matter
"Yeah Fallen, like I said big, ugly, smell bad…Why is a kid out here anyway?" A question I should have asked earlier. Yeah probably should have started with that one.
The kid paused his suffering. "Why can't I be here?"
"Its dangerous." Responded. "Like I said fallen. Bad, bad fallen." I tried to drive the point home.
"There's never any danger here." That was all he said before looking at me.
That look, it was honest confusion. Why shouldn't he be in the wilds? Uh I just named a few. But this kid was unfazed. Unafraid and confident with that statement. It was honestly somewhat endearing to think of a world outside the city that had no danger, it was a cute little dream only a kid could have. Cute, but naïve and very, very dull. But that might just be me that sees the dull aspect of having nothing to do. It's hard to sometimes remember that not everyone likes to go in guns blazing.
"Robot?" A voice called pulling me back. My gaze shifted back to the kid who had now stepped from his tree closer to me.
I tilted my head looking down at him, it seemed almost natural, familiar as if to say. But that was just wishful desire a want to have something that wasn't true. A nice fantasy but something that never came to pass. Something that kept me going I guess, straight an' narrow and al that like.
"That's Mr Robot to you." I cracked.
He raised an eyebrow, I couldn't tell if it was sincere or just a way of mocking. Found the latter more accurate as the kid seemed to latch onto a smirk, least haven't lost my touch to ether entertain or annoy.
Crossing his arms in response the kid then added. "Ok. Mr Robot! What you doing here? And how are you here?"
I leaned back as if to take great time and ponder the wealth of those questions. But same thing came up. Haven't the foggiest. So I simply shrugged to respond. That didn't go down so well it seemed. The kid just looked at me then at the ground then at a tree. No idea to what he was thinkin'.
He slumped down the tree slightly his gaze captivated by the new ground. Hang on was it new? I mean is this place new, yeah I saw it made but what if it's a new transmit way or somethin' nobody said. No idea why I'd end up here after been shot. Hey wait I was shot! Why am I only just realising it now? Still as handsome as ever it seems, no bullet holes not dints, except ones I don't even remember getting…Ok I'm actually concerned now. So much so that the strange kid out in the open who's slumping against the tree is a secondary issue until I figure out 1. Why aren't I hurt? And 2, Why Aren't I dead? Yeah they should have been asked and solved earlier. But I'm working with what I got.
The kid seem to notice my fussin' he's stopped his ponders and now placed his eyes upon me and my fidgeting. Normally I like the attention but now isn't the time for an adoring fan to take a glance. I really should concentrate a little more. You know on the life and death stuff.
"You too huh?" He said breaking the awkwardness. His blue eyes staring right into my optics.
"Wa-" I was about to start, he interrupted. How rude.
"You too….You wind up here or somewhere. No idea how. Just where we end up. Most people just call it 'The Great Beyond' a new place to all."
'You can't be serious…" That was really all you could muster hmmm? I could practically hear the sass that Sundance would have given me an ear off from been so dumbfounded at the kid's conclusion.
"I've been here a long ass time Mr Robot, trust me. I know what I'm talking about. I'd give you a tour but I'm busy." He smirked. "But You got all the time in the world here. So have fun."
Should I ask more about this 'Great Beyond' thing? Or should I you know ask why the kids is here. Or both?
Looking at him again, probably should. "So uh kid. You got a name? And What you doing out here?" I tilt my gaze slightly waiting for a response. My arms still crossed. Kind of seems like I'm interrogating the poor kiddo, shouldn't grill him too much. But hey he's the only one here.
He looked at me and then tilted his head to match mine. I swear this kid is something I've seen before. "Ascer. And I'm waiting for my old man." He smirked. "Still holding out on an old promise that he didn't do much with in the last place."
"Sounds like a bit of an ass." I blurted. Oops.
"Yeah he was. Not the brightest ether. Guess he had something in the right place. No idea what took him so long? Don't get much news from that other place. Last I heard was the all hell broke lose and there was a 'Last City', humans were on the brink and that magic ball we found long time ago was takin' a snooze and resurrected thralls to do its bidding." That smirk remained. That stupid, familiar smirk.
Ok. I'll admit he earn a mechanical chuckle from my old vocaliser. So much so I shifted again. I like this kid. Bit of a twisted sense of humour. I can relate you might say. "Yeah. Yeah pretty much the same as you heard. Well the balls up and runnin' now so that's a little different." I crossed my arms again. If this was dead, it wasn't so bad. Was out of the tower at least. "And I think those resurrected guys prefer the term 'Guardians' rather than undead thralls."
Ascer nodded slightly as he pondered my words. Seemed interesting to him. It was odd, to see a person both away from the city in the wilds. Only old Hawthorn was one to do that or a couple of mad civilians would set up shop out here. Guessed the kid was maybe one of them? People who never made it to the city, or even heard of it. I mean that could always happens. Kind of alarming though that a Hunter never picked up on them and offered help. Maybe if Zavala were here and not me, that stoic and official face of his might be a little hurt because his Guardian's weren't heralded in this world. Then he would probably berate the poor kid for not finding the city magically. Ah that would be a sight to see. Could practically see him setting this kid down and giving him one of those fine lectures that I was always on the end of for some reason.
Couldn't help but crack a grin at that. Suppose I have a lot of time to think about this stuff now? Maybe get back out there a real adventure while trying to find a way back of course… But I could take my time right? Have a few side tracks? Adventure is healthy. Then I could burst in with my discovery. Could see that now. Cayde your alive! Cayde you brilliant Exo what have you learnt, discovered? The one true Guardian that can transcend Death a second time. Ah I can see it now. Actually thinking about it, probably end up getting an earful from 'Big Blue' as he berates me for dying on him and not telling I was still kickin'. Or he'll lecture me about been absent… Yeah lets avoid that for a little while shall we.
"Well I better be off then. Don't want this world to go un-explored by this old Exo. See ya kid." I turned. "What to we recon Cayde. Ready for one last, big adventure into the great Beyond?"
"Cayde?" A voice said behind him breaking the heroic questions.
"Uh yeah Cayde-6. My name." I said not turning as I prepared to leave again.
"Interesting."
I relented. "And why is that?" I was half tempted to turn around to challenge the kid and his interruptions from my grand scheme…Granted taking one step forward into whatever some next was the extent of that scheme. But gotta' start somewhere right.
"Knew a Cayde once."
"Oh really? Well I'm the only Cayde-6." I cracked. "Hunter Vanguard and saviour of the tower." Adding to my declaration. Half tempted to turn around and crack a grin, well as much as I could do towards him to big it up a little more. But I left it as it was. I liked the kid but I was time to part ways.
"One I knew was a bit of an ass." Ascer leaned back. "Broke a promise. Still waiting for it."
"Oh that's a shame." I said hoping to end it there. The road was close and I really did need to get going.
I had to get my baring and find my feed. Maybe this kid was just full of it and he'd escaped out of the city and taken a wonder around. If so I'd probably have to come back for him but had to find out first. If he wasn't lying there had to be a settlement nearby that he was from? Maybe I could get a straight answer there. I began to walk.
'So there you have it, Ace, that's why I did what I did. I had no choice, really. It was that or the great beyond. Just know your dad did what he had to do if I ever wanted to see you and your mother again-' A voice said.
I paused, a long, long pause. Each word echoing in my mind. Each word repeating over and over again. I'd heard and read these words so many times. So many iterations. So many ways. So many ways, I'd heard my voice say them, regret been the dominant idea that I held within. They were words that I wanted to think I made, wanted to think I actually said and meant. I wanted them to be real so much. Those words I held so close and conditioned myself to make them real. Make them count. And now….
"You probably won't recognize me." I started. "Since I'll be, well, a robot and all, but I'll find you, I promise." I ended as I turned my head slightly still not facing the kid who was now stood directly behind me. I could tell without even looking he was there. He's always been there. Whispering on my shoulder that itch in my mind, that little voice that kept me there that kept me fighting. That drive, that want. The want for him to have been here. The need for him to be real. But I never…
"Ace?" I say.
It sound alien out loud. So foreign so new, something I never have said it out loud. It's strange. That name, it was always up my sleeve. It always kept me going, kept me alive. It's always kept me well it kept me Cayde.
I heard the kid shift his weight. "Guess I found you first old man." Another shift. "You sure as hell kept me waitin'"Another quip from him.
But I didn't care. How could I care about it? This was Ace, not just Ace my Ace. The Ace I convinced myself was true. The Ace I shared everything with. The Ace who I could never know. The Ace I did know, so long ago. He was there, and I couldn't even turn. I couldn't look him in the eye. Was this some deluded dream or a fault in my programing? Or was this what came after the bullet? How could I know? But this was Ace who stood behind me called me his 'Old man' The Ace I spent so long writing to. He was there. He was real. And I couldn't. I could face him.
"Saw everything you know? Been watching and waiting a long time. Got every note…Dad…"
I couldn't take it anymore. I turned. Turned to face him. Ace. Stood there before me. Eye to eye, man to man. This young child who had bared his soul towards me. Told me everything. Made me realise all this time I was right, I had the right to love someone who was once real. I was frozen. What can I say? What do I do? I don't know. I don't know how to deal with this. 'I've spend so long as Cayde-6, I can't even recall Cayde-0 and a child. What am I meant to say to him? What am I meant to do? I can't move. I can't face him.
"I-" It was all I could manage. I didn't know him. I didn't know Ace. My Ace was just a lie I told myself. This Ace was new and unfamiliar. He was the real that supported the lie. But this Ace was here and now. He was real. "I-" I tried again, but nothing came out. Speechless was never a word I could use to describe myself. But this time….This time, what could I say?
He knew, Ace knew. He knew I couldn't bring myself to talk. He knew I was at a loss. He looked at me, both familiar and alien in his stare. He knew Cayde as flesh and had observed Cayde as steel. He had seen it all and waited. He'd waited so long. He'd studied me for when we'd meet again. But even he now was still a child. That well of emotion was so clear in his face. Glassy eyes that he was trying to hide so heavily. Perhaps once there was anger there, a hatred of me. A time when I didn't return and the anger welled. But now, it was raw. Raw, emotion. A need for closure. It was a need, a need we both sought. A need that we had to discover. But how could I?
I kept my gaze on him for so long. I've wanted this, so many years wanting this to be true. Longing to see the child I wrote to. Longing to see if it was all just a lie or a past I had. And now it was here, and I couldn't do anything. Only stare. Only stare at the child who stared right back at me. How was I meant to act?
No. I didn't need to act. This was how it should have been a long time ago. I should have fought more. I should have tried. I should have been there. I should have seen him grow. I should have. I sighted and went back to studying the boy. I should have done a lot of things. Damn it stop saying should. Just for once act on what you want. Act damn it!
"Ace." I say a second time, not as a question, as a statement. This is Ace this is the Ace I've wanted to know for so long. I'm not missing this chance. I won't leave him again. I'm Cayde. The only Cayde numbers an all. And this time 'Ace' it felt good to say. It felt right.
The boy let out a large breath and before I could say anything else, he ran to me. Arms open wrapping around my body. His grip was tight onto my back as he stood there his face knocked against my chest as he held me. A firm grip as if to test if I was really there. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't awkward if it wasn't strange. To have this child, this Ace here holding me tight with no intention of letting go. How do I explain what I did, how do I tell him I've regretted it for so long. How I've been so selfish.
A sniffle breaks my thoughts, and I look down at the boy holding me. I didn't need to see his face to understand he was crying. I heard it then, those muffled words that left his mouth, raw with happiness and want. Two little words that made everything else irrelevant. "Welcome Home."
He didn't care if I was flesh or steel. He just wanted me here. Just wanted me to see him again. He just wanted me, wanted his father. I knew then. I knew that everything would come back. That I knew with time, I'd remember. I'd remember the good time and the bad. I'd remember this Ace. I knew….I just knew it!
Slowly, I shifted my body and my arm reached around the boy to pull him close a hand slowly patting his hair and the other holding onto his back. He felt so real, he was real. Every inch of him felt real and a live. For the first time in so long, I felt him. Felt what it was like to hold the Child I needed to be real.
And here he was...
My Ace.
My son.
-Fin
Please tell me what you think. Its bad but I'd still like to know.