Ok so like basically, this story is based off of Palutena's Guidance for Zelda in Smash Ultimate. Yeah. Let's get it.
"Can you teach me how to read?" Pit asked Ike as they walked down the stairs to the kitchen. "Ask Robin." He simply replied. They arrived and Pit went to the huge freezer they had. "But I want you to help me read Mary Pooter books!" Ike grabbed a cookie from a huge cookie jar. "It's Harry Potter, not Mary Pooter. And also, why me?" Pit grabbed a large tub of ice cream. "Because you're my best friend!" Ike picked up a nearby Waddle Dee who was running away from Kirby. "Yeah but, there's like a ton of other people who could help you better than I can. Like Zelda, for example." Ike said as the Waddle Dee climbed atop his head and took off his bandana. Kirby waddled towards Pit, and inhaled the ice cream. "Hecks no!" Ike raised an eyebrow. "Why not?" Pit now had a noticeableblush on his cheeks. "Because... well... Zelda... probably has plans. I don't wanna disrupt her." Ike snorted. "Or maybe you just like her." The Waddle Dee jumped from Ike's head to Pit's wings. "N-No! Even if Zelda had nothing to do, she wouldn't want to help." "With what?" Pit turned around, and Zelda waved at him. Ike smirked. "He wanted to ask you if you could help him read a book." Ike nudged Pit. "Um... h-hi Zelda!" Pit exclaimed nervously. Zelda smiled at him. What book do you want to read?" She asked sweetly. "Why are you holding a candle?" He askes in a desperate attempt to change the subject. "Oh! I just love the aroma that vanilla bean candles give off. It's relaxing." The Waddle Dee jumped towards Zelda's feet, and held out Ike's bandana as if asking her to put it on him. Ike put an arm around Pit's shoulder. "Hey Zel, do you want to go to Chef Kawasaki's Sushi Resturant with us later today?" Pit froze up. "Sure, I don't have any plans today." Zelda responded as she tied the bandana onto the Waddle Dee. She took a whiff of her candle. "What time?" "Yeah Pit, what time?" Pit was shaking. "Umm... how about 8?" He asked, his voice cracking. "Perfect! See you there." Zelda picked up the Waddle Dee and walked away, waving at Pit as she left. Pit punched Ike's arm when Zelda was out of sight. "What was that for?" He asked. Ike smirked. "Don't worry man, you got this. Maybe she'll help you 'read' after." Pit scratched his head. "What's that supposed to mean?" Ike just nudged him and started to walk away. "Also, don't forget to use a condom." Pit scratched his head again. "What's a condom?"