Okay, so this is what im going through...i'm crying so i thought this should be how to express everything :) Hope you like it! This is just a preview of the story, like a little Epilouge..Hope you like it!
I stared blank at the phone screen. It was my best friend Callie's phone, and Callie was dating Alvin. Everyone knew I liked Alvin,but the thing is...He just doesn't like me. I've tried everything, and I had hope until I read the messages. All of them, in love. He was being soft. A side Alvin NEVER showed to anyone else..ever. He acted so mean to everyone, But some reason, I loved him. I couldn't help it, I just...Kinda fell into it. But, he likes Callie. Probably because she's skinnier than me, more popular than me, head cheerleader, and everyone loves her. Oh, how I wish I was her...Long dark hair, incrediably skinny, flexable, and just flawless. I was jealous of her before, but now its so much stronger because she has one thing that will never be mine, but I want so bad...
Alvin. Just Alvin? No. Alvin is my world, but he could care less about me. If I died right here, he would laugh. If he died, I would kill myself just to be with him. I know, this isn't the usual Brittany...but, this girl is just breaking down my self esteem. He knows I love him, but doesn't care. Its insulting. Am I really that ugly?
I try everything to be prettier. More makeup, more clothes, but unfortuantly more fake and less me. But how can I be me and still get the boy? He may seem just a boy to this world, but my world, revolves around that one boy.
I one time got so tired of it, I started cutting myself. My wrist, just slight marks, but deep cuts. It felt a relief, thinking that soon all the pain would be away. But, Jeanette and Eleanor had caught me. And had told Miss Miller, making me not aloud to go in the kitchen or anywhere around knifes alone.
Well. That was that. I dance, dance like no one is watching to get it out. Because their not. I have dancing skills..no one could believe. Especially not my fans or dance teacher. I'm not known to dance, but I can. Really good. Especially lyrical.
But beside the point, I feel invisible. Like, no matter how I try, no one will ever see the real me, because Alvin hates the real me. I don't know what I did wrong...I honestly don't.
It should be me, loving on him. Getting "good night" texts. Getting"Your beautiful(:" texts. But no. All I get is a blank screen, because quite frankly he deleted my number. I was,"Miller"and a thumbs down sign, but he finally just spread his hatred and deleted me.
I should hate him. My mind tells me too. But my heart says otherwise.