Prolog
"Welcome to the signing of the first ever treaty between heaven and hell," someone from the crowd mutters, "I'm sure this is gonna be just delightful."
Laughter follows this comment causing Dad to pull me closer and whisper, "Are you sure you want to do this? You can back out at any time. You shouldn't go to that horrid place. Who would willingly volunteer to go to hell? Most people try to avoid it?"
"How do you know it's a horrible place, or should I say horrid?" I snap, "You've never been there!"
"It just is and I don't want you to go!"
Dad has the tendency to be way overprotective and I guess it just comes with the territory, considering he's the archangel Michael, yeah that's right the protector blah, blah, blah. I've grown used to it over my sixteen years. I mean I could stand not going out to all-nighters and going to hang at my friends' places, but today all this protective shit is just grinding on my already tense nerves.
Today's my chance to leave, my only chance of escape, because barely anyone gets a chance to leave heaven, and I'm one of those lucky people. Truthfully heaven isn't as perfect as everyone makes it out to be. It's stricter beyond belief; the out of control parties have about fifty chaperones if that tells you anything! What teenager really wants to spend their time at a party with fifty chaperones when we all know on earth most the time they don't even have one!
"Dad I'm not backing out! How many times do I have to tell you to get it through your thick skull? It's my chance…um, I mean duty, and I'm not backing out at the last second. Who would take my place?" I huff.
"Haven, I know you think it's your duty, but it doesn't have to be, I'll find someone to replace you. No problem!"
"I know your ways and you can't force some unsuspecting stranger to take my place just because you don't want me to leave! I mean seriously it's my freaking choice, not yours. It's my life."
Dad's eyes icy blue eyes darken and I know I've gone too far. He is all about don't disrespect your elders and stuff and if you do I swear you can almost see the smoke coming out of his ears.
"Young lady, don't go any farther, I know you don't think before you say anything, but at least try!"
At that moment my bffae runs up. (Perfect timing, as always. I get to avoid another of Dad's major lectures.) "I'm gonna miss you girl!" she yells so loud everyone within a mile of us can probably hear. She skids to a stop, mere inches from crashing into me, which is surprising because she normally does and we both end up sprawled on the floor. Her straight brown hair falls in front of her eyes and she bats it out of the way. Her green eyes are sparkling with tears (or excitement, you can never tell with her. She's harder to read than one of the fancy smancy classic books with all the big words) and she's bouncing from foot to foot for no apparent reason. (I think she's ADHD because Aurora has never been able to sit still.)
"Haven't you ever thought about using your inside voice?" I joke.
"What do you mean? I am using my inside voice. If you want me to use my outside one just say the word!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Aurora, I never said that! I think I'm still deaf in one ear from the last time you used it!"
"Really, I guess I still need to work on it. I thought I had it perfected!" She says sadly "My effect on people should last longer, because I'm awesome!" Aurora gasps
"Girls! Quiet down the signing of the treaty and the exchange of peoples will start in 30 seconds!" Dad whispers all flustered, I guess it's because I'm one of the peoples getting exchange.
"Geeeeeesh, Mr. Michael we were just talking!" Aurora yells.
My dad gives me the death glare so I distract Aurora, which is easy if you have food of any kind. She's like a human garbage disposal, but then again I kind of am to, just not as bad. I haven't found anything she won't eat yet, considering her absolute favorite thing to eat is laffy taffy covered in nacho cheese. I hand he a ginormous root beer sucker and she shuts up just like I turned a switch. It will probably only last a few minutes, but hey, at least it works, even if it's not for long.
The ceremony starts with God getting up from his throne and walking down the steps to shake hands with Satan, something I thought would happen when hell froze over! (Ha-ha, get the joke!) When I say shake hands I mean they look like they're shaking a bag of dog shit instead of another person's hand! They barely touch the tips of each other's fingers and they wear grimaces on their faces. It was really funny to watch and Aurora was practically rolling on the floor laughing her head off, like the time we paid Arianna to hug the biggest bitch in heaven, Amanda.
Then I have to walk up front because my name gets called along with Satan's only daughter's, Opal. (We're the two people who are switching places.) I have to stand in front of God and Opal's in front of Satan. I guess we're supposed to represent them. Opal gracefully switches places with me while I stumble over my own feet trying to do the move God has drilled into my head over the past three months. I fall on my face about four times but hey I'm still alive, at least, when I come to a stop in front of Satan. The crowd bursts into laughter and Dad face palms. A voice come on the speaker announcing the ceremony is over and refreshments will be served in the cathedral. I start walking towards it when a hand clamps down on my shoulder. I hear a loud pop and next thing I know I'm standing in a whole different room, and instead of being in heaven, I'm in hell.