Disclaimer: I do not own JTHM. (That would be the god-like Jhonen Vasquez.)
The Wondrous Mall of Death
It was a day like every other. I was busily working on Happy Noodle Boy, and on a whim, I looked over my shoulder. The WALL shook threateningly. I responded with a disparaging glare.
"I'll beat you today, WALL. I swear to Nothing that today will be the end of this hell you've put me through!"
I said it, and I meant it. But its presence was suffocating, frightening, and I needed to get out while I planned my grand escape from its torturous ways.
So I decided that a trip to the Mall was necessary. "Tot Hopic" had interesting new items that I wanted to look at, and wish I could own. So I went my merry way, neither sad nor happy: apathetic and yet determined to keep my promise. I made a detour at the book store, and watched Devi as she read a book titled "How to Paint with Your Annoying Neighbour's Blood." She smiled at me and I smiled in return, my resolve strengthed. I was going to beat the WALL!
I proceeded into the Mall. As I walked by a few more popular stores, such as "Anorexic and Bitch" and "Hollow-Soul", a few blonde-haired girls pointed at me, laughing openly. I twitched, but did not falter in my quest. I couldn't kill them, not today. And yet...The same happened again and again, throughout the day. Even in Tot Hopic, someone decided that it was worth their already-worthless time to mock me.
I was leaving without having bought anything when some old lady pointed at me with a shriveled finger and said:
"What a strange young man! I'd be ashamed if he were my grandson!" I felt my already-loose grip on sanity release. I unsheathed my trusted knife, its blood-stained metal sparkling in the annoying, too-bright mall-light...
A few hours later I returned home and painted the wall with the blood I'd gathered in A&B bags. They were surprisingly durable, and suited my purpose well, despite their stench of nasty human females.
I glared at it all the while, muttering,
"So it wasn't today, and it won't be tomorrow, but someday...Someday I'll break free of this hell."
Owari