TRIGGER WARNING! attempted suicide, death, and actual suicide are mentioned in this work. Depression is a huge factor for this work as well. Please don't read this if something like that bothers you. Reviews are wonderful, but I don't want someone hurting from reading my work.
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It was one phone call. A car crash that claimed two victims. Ike knew what Marth wanted before he asked. All he had to say was that it had killed Zelda's parents. He knew the question before his friend broached it.
"Can you come talk to her? Link isn't getting a response."
"He's her best friend," Ike responded even as he stood from his couch. "What makes you think she'll talk to me? We're not even close."
"Because you... well you've been where she is." It hurt, a flash of pain that made him sigh in defeat. He had lost his father in a sudden accident, years before. He had been unresponsive to anyone who wanted to help. He had been exactly where she was. Maybe he could help her be better than himself.
"Gimme fifteen minutes, I'll be there."
XxX
Ike climbed the stairs to Zelda's apartment slowly, letting the sea air wash over him as he ascended. He was in no rush to fuck this up. He hated death. It changed people. If this did not work then she would be like him, unable to properly express emotions.
He made it to her door and knocked, not surprised to find Link opening it to usher him inside. The blonde looked like he had been crying, it was such a raw emotion Ike could not look him in the eye. He looked to the plush carpeting beneath his worn boots and saw Marth's own nice shoes come into view.
"She's just sitting on her bed," Marth explained in a whisper, "no tears... Talk to her Ike." The blue haired man nodded silently and moved forward, bracing himself as his calloused hand closed around the brushed metal knob.
As the door swung open he let his eyes roam around her room. Nicely decorated and tidy, no one could say that Zelda did not have good taste. It clashed with his more affordable and, to be blunt, cheap design aesthetic that made his apartment home but he did not begrudge the young woman for their vastly different monetary situations.
He fully stepped in and looked at the silent woman sat upon the bed. Zelda. She was beautiful with her long brown hair and light blue eyes. Even as she sat there with his trademark emotionlessness he had to silently admit that she was easily the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. It was a fact he kept to himself.
"What are you doing here?" Her voice was flat, the question blunt and heavy.
"Checking on you," he explained as he shut the door. If he succeeded in getting her to feel again he wanted there to be a buffer between them and the duo out in her living room.
"Which one called you?" Her lifeless eyes met his as he approached her big bed. It struck a nerve in Ike to see such vibrant eyes so empty.
"Marth did."
"Of course he did." She shifted toward the middle of the bed and Ike took the silently offered space. He sat and kicked off his work boots.
"Tell me what you're feeling Zelda," he coaxed in his trademark flat tone. She sounded so much like himself right then that he knew she was in trouble.
"Nothing. I feel nothing. Both my mother and father are dead and I feel nothing. What does that say about me?"
"That it was something you never thought would happen," he explained as he leaned forward to catch her eye. "You have to face what's happened and let yourself feel."
"I understand what's happened Ike, I just feel nothing." She finally met his gaze again and Ike felt something in his dormant heart stir for her. He did not like to see her so emotionless. "I'm sorry but I think our friends are wasting your time."
"It's not a waste to be here for you." That made her brow twitch and Ike raised his own before he quickly looked away. "What do you need Zelda? Tell me what to do and I will."
"I... need to feel something again. Can you make me feel again Ike?" Her question was not odd, but when the bed next to him shifted Ike looked up once more. She was closer to him, her damn emotionless eyes locked onto his. Ike was struck by just how much he wanted to see any kind of emotion in them full force and all he managed in response to her question was a slow nod.
He blinked and she was closer. Before he could question their proximity her lips were on his. It felt as lifeless as she looked, but something in Ike came back to life. Perhaps what she wanted was not the best thing for her, but he knew in that instant if she asked he would oblige.
He responded to the mechanical kiss with more than he realized. Lips parted, tongues danced together in an intimate tangle, and when he moved back to take a deep breath she climbed on his lap. "Zelda." It was the most emotion anyone had gotten out of the stoic blue haired man since he lost his father. The most emotion since his family had fallen apart. Her name left his lips a pained but desperate whisper and it seemed to spur her on. She crashed their lips together once more and Ike laid back on the bed.
"Is this what you want?" He managed the question only when she pulled back to tug up his shirt.
"Make me feel something again Ike." It was a plea, a cry for help said in a flat tone, and Ike had never acquiesced faster. He switched their positions, pinning her back against the soft mattress as he tugged his shirt off. Everything came off in a blur of fabric. Without bothering to ponder the consequences of his actions Ike dove in.
It was sinful how good she felt. She moved with him, her hands buried in his dark blue hair. He gripped her thighs, angling himself better to plunge deeper. She felt so good Ike was unsure of his own self control. She was beautiful as he fucked her into a state of bliss over and over, her sounds spurring him on until they both climaxed in a desperate moment.
He panted against her swollen lips, begging his lungs to catch a full breath before he pulled himself back from the embrace of her legs. They shook, two pale limbs like the very ground moved under them. He met her gaze and saw the look of bliss slowly begin to fade.
Before the breakdown happened Ike pulled her out of the bed and dragged her to the shower. He turned it on and stepped in, tugging her in with him. He held her and the proverbial dam broke. She cried. She wailed. She cried and wept against his strong chest and Ike slowly eased them to the floor. She sat on his lap as the warming water washed over them in healing streams. He pressed gentle kisses to her forehead and hair, ran a calloused hand down her back, and held her against him as the agony poured from her.
It hurt. He felt her pain and allowed it to swell in his chest. It was futile but when she looked up at him he wiped the water from her eyes and pressed his forehead against hers.
After the water had been cold for a while her shaking sobs slowed to pathetic sniffs. Ike pulled them up and helped them both get cleaned up. She sniffed and shook but did not object.
Together they moved back to her bed and he saw the silent plea in her eyes. Don't leave. She might as well have shouted it her eyes were so loud. He nodded and curled up around her, a soft kiss to her lips the only thing he allowed himself to take. Her breathing evened out and he eased up on his elbow to look down at her pained but sleeping face. He was glad to see the pain, as bad as that may sound. It meant she felt things again. Her tears, while they hurt a part of his heart he thought he had lost, were a good thing.
Once he was sure she was out he climbed from her bed and grabbed his phone. A quick text conversation later made him feel better. Marth had taken Link back to the blonde's apartment and forced him to eat. The second Ike had shut the door behind him they had left. That meant they had not heard them and the secret was theirs to keep. He skipped over the sex when he explained that he got her to cry, and promised he would watch her all night long so that her other friends could rest up for the memorial service the next day.
Satisfied Ike settled down behind the thin brunette once more and wrapped a protective arm around her waist. As he shut his eyes in the darkening room he felt something that was suspiciously like serenity. It was not the sex, nor the naked body pressed against him, but knowing that he had actually helped her.
XxX
The morning dawned and Ike woke up to Zelda staring at him with reddened eyes. He quickly swiped the remnants of sleep from his and pulled her against his bare chest. She cried silently against him. He felt her warm tears as they made trails down his torso.
"You stayed," she whispered after a while. He shrugged.
"You asked."
"You didn't have to."
"I know." He pressed a soft kiss to her wild hair and stood from the bed. He felt her eyes on his naked back as he gathered up his discarded clothes but ignored it.
"Thank you Ike," she whispered into the silence and he nodded. He pulled on his boxers and pants. After he was done zipping up his jeans he turned back to the naked perfection that had been his just the day before. He held no illusions about what had happened. They would go back to being merely in the same room when it was all over. Nothing more. He could not offer more. No one had been there for him. He was damaged. He had, hopefully, saved her from the same fate.
In a flurry of movement she stood up and strode with purpose to her massive walk in closet. Ike listened as she pulled on clothes, his shirt forgotten in his hands. When she emerged in a mourning dress he hated to think she looked beautiful. Black suited her. It was just a fact. She walked up to him and turned around, exposing the creamy pale skin she wanted to hide with the unzipped zipper that taunted him. With a sigh he tugged it up and stepped back.
"I'm going to go change, but I'll be there." She nodded at his words, eyes wet and threatening to spill over. "You wanna come with me?" The offer surprised both of them, but he was even more shocked to see her nod.
XxX
She sat on his bed as he dressed, her eyes on him as he tucked the black button down into his black slacks. He hated funerals. Had hated them since the one for his father. The two after it had made him swear to never go to another. Yet there he was. Why? His eyes moved to the teary eyed woman with pointed ears as she absently scratched at her knee. Her.
The thought was nothing new. The way he had responded so readily the day before was a dead giveaway. Ike could not deny that something in him felt something for her. She was too good for him though. Too pure.
As he finished clasping his belt he held out a hand to her. She took it and he hauled her to her feet. Her eyes stayed on his broad chest and he placed a gentle hand on her face. Wide blue eyes met his. Ike gave her a silent look, one that he hoped conveyed what he could not bring himself to say. He would stand by her, be there if she needed. When she nodded they left his small apartment.
XxX
The memorial was filled with people Ike did not know. Friends, family, associates from work, they were all a blur of faces and pointed ears. He did not care about them. He cared about the brunette who refused to leave his side. Even when Link tried to urge her towards some cousins. Her small hand gripped his arm like a vice and he shook his head.
An hour passed by and then they were driving to the cemetery. Ike's hand was in hers as he drove. The grip on his hand was cutting off his circulation but he did not complain. He promised he would be there. This was something he had not had. She needed this. He needed her to not be like him.
As the coffins were lowered into the ground she cried into his black shirt. Ike let her. One arm around her as she shied from watching her closest relatives being lowered. Down down. A solid thump. Then the dirt poured on top. They stayed there through the prayers and the customary song. Ike let her soak his shirt with her tears. He held her tighter when she wobbled.
He watched.
He felt the finality as the friends and associates left.
As the family moved on to the wake.
He held her.
When it was just them and the lonely old crone who had done the service he pressed a kiss to her hair.
Then they left.
XxX
The ride to the wake was silent. She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. Ike wished he could offer more than his stoic silence.
"What happened to your dad?" Her voice was shaky and Ike's knuckles whitened on the wheel.
"He died in a work accident."
"Your mom?"
"Suicide. The grief was too much."
"Your sister?" Her voice had become a horrified whisper.
"Just like Mom."
The ensuing silence was deafening. It lasted until he parked.
"Why didn't you?" Her question made him sigh as he turned the key to silence the rumble of his car's engine.
"I did try." With that he hopped out of the car and moved to open her door. She looked at him, silently asking him to continue. He did not want to. He had never been asked since that night. Only Marth knew what happened. "I swallowed a bottle of pills, chased it with a bottle of vodka. Marth shoved his fingers so far down my throat that the only thing that happened was I passed out after cursing him for saving me."
Her eyes widened in shock. Ike ignored it as he began to walk to the gathering of people. A tentative hand on his arm stopped him. She crashed into his body, her arms around him like he was the only solid thing in a flood.
"I'm glad." It was whispered against his shirt. His cold chest warmed at it.
XxX
The wake was filled with silent sniffles and whispers. He knew the words that were spoken around them and to her. The names changed but the words were the same. They'll be missed. They were great. Your father did his job with pride. Your mother could light up a room. He kept a possessive arm around Zelda as she whispered her thanks and the strangers moved on. He held her against his side when Link came up and went for a hug. The blonde looked confused by the way Ike held her, but thankfully kept his mouth shut.
Before he knew it everyone was gone. He was standing alone with Zelda in the quiet room as she tried to fight her tears. He did not want her to. He touched her cheek. Four gentle fingers to the too pale face. She wept anew. He held her and carried her back to his car.
Without a word he drove her back to his apartment and carried her inside. The silence was deafening, broken only by the occasional sniffle from the beauty on his couch. The second he sat down she curled up against him, her ear pressed against his chest as his heart thumped out an unsteady beat.
"Can I stay?" Her whisper was warm against his chest.
"As long as you want to." She squeezed his middle and he wrapped both arms around her. They sat in silence as she slowly stopped sniffling, Ike's eyes unfocused as he soaked up the warmth.
"For someone I always thought was so cold you've been so good to me." Ike looked down at her reddened eyes and shrugged.
"I didn't want you to be me. The world would lose something great if that happened." He looked away, aware of her eyes on him. Her body shifted and Ike felt her soft lips on his cheek. He fought the shudder that worked through his body at the gentle nature of the kiss. She was not, nor would ever be, his to claim in that way.
Her fingers on his chin made him immediately look down at her and he felt something in his chest shift as his heart thundered. Without a word she leaned up and kissed him. A part of his brain screamed at him to stop, even as she pulled him on top of her on the couch. He forced himself back from the inviting gesture and shook his head as he tried to take calming breaths.
"Why not?" she asked in a soft voice and he looked away.
"I'm not what you need. I... I can't be."
"Why can't I decide that?" She sounded offended and Ike wanted to explain. He was broken. He was damaged. He had not truly smiled in years. He was fucked, a man so far down in the depths of unfeeling that he worried he could never love again. How could he explain that?
"I know me," he said simply instead as he stood up and smoothed a few wrinkles from his black shirt. "I know me and I know that I am not good enough for you."
She leapt from his couch and marched up to him. He looked down at her petite frame and saw the hurt and anger in her eyes. "You act all cold and heartless but I know you're not."
"Zelda-"
"No one could be a unfeeling mechanical... robot," she gesticulated wildly and he found it adorable, "and do what you did for me yesterday."
"It was sex Zelda," he insisted.
"That's all?" Her eyebrow raised. A challenge. Ike gulped. "I kissed you in the most uncomfortable way and you responded like something out of a romance novel! The way you said my name... the way you held me in the shower! Under whatever scars you built up there is a caring man." She jabbed a finger at his heart and he looked away.
"I'm not... well put together anymore. I don't feel the way I should."
"I've watched you," she spoke gently, her hand against his beating heart. "Every time Marth drags you to the bar. You humor him by chatting up some girl, but I've never seen you look at anyone the way you looked at me yesterday. Today you stood beside me and let me break down over and over! Nothing separated you from me! You care, as loathe as you might be to admit it. And maybe... maybe I care too. You're not just another friend of a friend to me Ike."
She tried to walk past him with that. No doubt she meant to leave. Ike grabbed her wrist and spun her back to face him, his eyes searching hers. She met his gaze with fresh tears shining in her own and Ike felt his heart warm.
"I don't know if I can be what you deserve," he explained as he let go of her wrist. "I want to be but every single day I feel empty. Cold. I don't want you dragged down with me."
"You helped me," she whispered as her hand caressed his cheek. "Let me help you."
"What if I can't be fixed?" His question was a desperate whisper.
"I don't think you need fixing Ike, you're not broken. You just need to see that people care about you as much as you pretend to not care about them. I care and I don't want to go anywhere. Don't make me go." It was a plea, said in a tone that frightened the man too hurt by life.
Ike took her hand and gently pulled her to him. His other hand grabbed her face and he kissed her without a care in world. He dove deep down into his chest, let the buried feelings he doubted himself of having out of the corner he had trapped them in, and kissed her until she staggered in his embrace. The look in her eyes was one of awe and he wondered how he of all people could garner such a reaction from real life perfection.
"Don't shut me out, don't push me away, and don't you dare run from this," she warned in a shaky voice and he nodded solemnly. He would oblige her, even if he felt the terror in his chest rise. He had lost everyone. He had almost lost Marth after that night of pills and vodka. He was scared. Scared to care again. Scared to let someone care about him. His father. His mother. His sister. They had cared. They had left him. He had suffered alone and had tried to leave with them.
XxX
One month. A blur of rough sex followed by lazy kisses. Ike woke up next to the naked beauty of Zelda every morning with less and less coldness in his heart. It scared him, he wanted to run from the feelings he could feel growing in his once hard heart. Compassion. Care. Comfort. Something that felt dangerously close to love. He was terrified she would wake up one morning and see what a mistake he was. He worried over her when they parted for work. Worried that when he finally admitted to himself that he was feeling more for her than he had ever thought himself capable of again that she would be done with him.
Then he would answer his door and she was there. A vision of beauty and better than he deserved rolled up into a package that came with dinner he would forget to eat. They would eat, she would ask him about his day, and he would ask about hers. It was domestic. It was terrifying. They would stumble back to his room and he would give her his all. He would fuck her until he could not hold on. He was the most honest with her when he was buried inside her. The hands that held her close were not just to get a better angle to plunge deeper. They held her close to beg her to not leave. Stay. It was the unspoken plea that was punctuated by her practically screaming profanities mixed with his name.
Don't leave me.
Don't wake up and hate me.
Don't abandon me.
Don't leave me.
Everyone else has.
I can't lose you.
XxX
Marth noticed first. Ike saw the worry when he turned down bar trip after bar trip. Was Ike slipping? Would Ike try to die again? Ike did his best to reassure his once best friend. It was not that he was slipping. He was just in a psuedo relationship with the most beautiful woman he had ever had the luck to meet. He could not say that though. He had never asked for a label for what they had. Were they dating? Were they just fucking? Perhaps it meant more to him than her. Whether she viewed them as exclusive or not worried Ike. He could not have another woman. Not when he had her.
Marth asked what was going on. His concern touched Ike's heart. He just shrugged and said a nameless fuck was not his thing. Not anymore. He had done that. He had fucked the girls he was supposed to find attractive to appease his friend. It was never satisfying beyond the physical sense of release. Zelda was. She made him want more. Want to be better. He wanted to be better. He wanted to feel fully again because of her. She deserved that.
XxX
Another month passed and Ike found himself on the couch of a stranger. A shrink. A psychiatrist. A psychologist. Someone to help. Zelda held his hand as he finally began to chip away at the armor around his heart. Clipped answers to probing questions.
His father died in a blaze of fire.
His work was hazardous.
His mother could not handle her own grief.
Nothing Ike had done had been enough.
He cooked.
He cleaned.
He forced her to eat until one day she was gone.
Blood had been all over the bathroom.
It had broken something within him.
Mist.
His baby sister.
She had followed their mother's example.
Ike had had to make arrangements for them all.
It had broken the last remnants of something within him.
He was broken.
He squeezed Zelda's hand tighter as he spoke. She refused to see him for the ruin he was. He needed that. Selfishly he wanted her by his side.
She held him when they left. Alone in his apartment she held him and wept against his chest for the horror he had endured. He tried to process every word that had left his mouth during his session. He had never told anyone what seeing his family like that had done to him.
Their sex was slow and gentle that night. Ike was surprised by it. What was more surprising was that when they were done the dam broke.
He wept.
He screamed profanities in two languages.
He hated himself for not stopping them from taking their lives.
He hated them for being so selfish.
He loved them with all his heart.
He loved the woman who held him and kissed his blue hair with soft lips.
He loved her for what she was doing to him.
He was scared.
But he loved.
For the first time in too long Ike truly felt alive.
XxX
The cemetery had always been a place he avoided. Death had been too much. Feeling had been too much. He had not been to the forgotten plots since the dirt had been tossed on top of the coffins.
Griel.
Elena.
Mist.
Their names were carved into marble. He knelt by them and cleared years of dead leaves away. Apologized for his absence. Apologized for hating them. Apologized for loving them so much he had wanted to follow them.
He cried.
He kissed the three marble slabs and told them. Zelda. He loved her. Wanted to tell her. He told them and begged for some type of help. Aside from the breeze that carried away a few leaves he received nothing. He was alone. Yet he wasn't.
XxX
He surprised her by knocking on her office door. Zelda smiled at him, eyes showing him worry. They never visited each other during the day. He swallowed the apology that tried to climb from his throat and instead marched toward her with determination. She stood from her desk and wrapped her arms around him, her concern making a cute line form between her eyebrows. He smoothed it with a soft kiss before he claimed her painted lips.
Soft.
Sweet.
As gentle as a breeze only meant to carry away the dead leaves.
He pulled back and felt his lips curl up into a genuine smile. Her eyes widened as she beamed at him. The tears in her eyes were happy ones that made an odd sound rumble from his chest.
A laugh.
Ike was laughing.
He hadn't laughed in years.
She laughed along with him, the awe and tenderness of her expression making him want to admit everything he felt immediately.
"You did this," he explained with a soft smile and a tender caress of her perfect face. "You saved me."
"You saved me," she whispered in response and he pressed his forehead to hers. She rubbed their noses against each other gently and he took in a shaky breath.
"Don't leave me."
"Never." Her ready response made his heart thunder.
"I... Zelda I love you."
"I love you too Ike."
No hesitation.
No second guessing.
No remarks of it being too soon.
He loved her.
She loved him.
For many that would not be enough.
For Ike it was more than he had ever thought possible.
XXX
This is what happens when you let me loose in a dark spiral. I hope you enjoyed. Please let me know what you think. Much love, Leigh
