Notes: This story originated during a VAMB chat last month. The entire idea belongs to Daughter_Leilani. JoAryn and I came up with ideas about what would happen and the title came from JoAryn. Many thanks to Daughter_Leilani and Cheile for reading and giving suggestions.
Chakotay admired Seven as she looked at Earth through the mess hall viewport. She was a truly beautiful young woman and he was a lucky man to be with her, although he had to admit it had never once occurred to him to become romantically involved with her until she asked him out. It was funny how quickly a relationship could change—how quickly everything could change. Two days ago they had still been in the Delta Quadrant, but now they were home. Tomorrow morning Voyager would be landing on the Presidio and, after the mandatory debriefings, they would all be moving on to the next phase of their lives.
Seven shifted her weight and glanced at Chakotay, smiling at him for a moment before returning her attention to the view. Chakotay smiled back, realizing that his mouth felt a little tired from all of the smiling. They had been standing at the viewport ever since they finished their dinner. He could hear the soft murmurs of conversations behind them as their fellow crewmates ate their own meals. The mess hall was crowded; it was the crew's last night on Voyager and most were reminiscing and making plans to keep in touch with each other.
He and Seven had made their plans while they ate, agreeing to keep dating and stay in close touch, no matter where they ended up. They had also discussed their emotions about suddenly being back home—both were feeling wary about leaving the protection of Voyager, while at the same time looking forward to seeing their families. They had left their table to admire the view of Earth and now here they stood, ten minutes later, not one word having been spoken between them. It seemed that all possible topics of conversation had been exhausted while they ate. Chakotay racked his brain trying to think of anything to say to Seven that didn't involve ship's business. He considered inviting her to his quarters, but dismissed the thought almost immediately. She might think he was going to push for sexual intimacy and he didn't want her doing anything she wasn't ready for. In a few weeks, though, after they'd dated a little longer they could go away together to some private location...
"Oh, Naomi. Everything is going to be fine, I promise. You need to keep an open mind; your attitude is only making things worse."
Chakotay turned to watch Samantha and Naomi Wildman enter the mess hall and head for the replicators. Samantha was smiling brightly, practically floating through the room. She hadn't stopped smiling since Voyager's arrival in the Alpha Quadrant. Tomorrow she was going to be reunited with her husband and clearly had little patience left for her daughter's bad humor. Naomi scowled and stalked away from the replicator. Samantha shook her head and sighed, the smile beginning to falter.
Chakotay caught her eye and gestured toward Naomi, indicating that he would talk to her. Seven followed him to the table Naomi had chosen and both sat down across from her. She looked at them and her lips quivered. Chakotay's heart went out to her. Of course Naomi was having a hard time accepting their sudden arrival in the Alpha Quadrant. Only weeks before, Neelix, her beloved godfather, had left the ship and now she was facing the loss of the only home she had ever known.
"It's scary to think of the landing tomorrow, isn't it, Naomi? You're going to be meeting your father for the first time and we're all leaving Voyager," Chakotay began. Naomi shrugged, refusing to make eye contact.
"Naomi Wildman, I believe we are experiencing similar emotions. Tomorrow I will meet my own family for the first time. It is a daunting prospect, but it should prove worthwhile."
"Maybe," Naomi muttered. "But why do we have to leave Voyager? I told Captain Janeway my plan. It's a good plan! We can all stay on Voyager and just work for Starfleet here in the Alpha Quadrant. My dad could come stay here on Voyager and so could everyone's families. I told Captain Janeway and she said it was a good idea, but Starfleet wants to study Voyager, so we all have to leave and go be with our families and be happy."
She sniffed, wiping at her eyes, clearly aggrieved. Chakotay spoke gently, hoping to acknowledge her feelings while emphasizing the need to move on.
"That is a good plan, Naomi, but the captain is right. Starfleet needs to study everything we've done to Voyager so that they can take our ideas and use them on other ships. We had a lot of good times on Voyager and we're never going to forget, but now it's time for us to leave and make new homes."
Seven leaned forward and placed a hand on Naomi's shoulder.
"While we will leave, we will not lose each other. I still intend to check on your studies and play kadis-kot with you, no matter where we are. We will always be friends."
"Really?" Naomi brightened at Seven's pronouncement. Chakotay smiled, pleased that Seven had been able to reach through the young girl's misery both with her words and the use of physical touch. Seven was good at many things, but definitely not with feelings. She continued to speak soothing words to Naomi and he watched, slowly realizing that Seven's mannerisms had been picked up from Kathryn. It made sense; Kathryn had played a huge role in helping Seven regain her humanity, but it bothered him to see Kathryn's traits in Seven. Kathryn was—well, she was everything. She meant the world to him, but he had always known the sentiment was not reciprocated. Was he so eager to be with Seven because subconsciously she reminded him of Kathryn? It was not a thought he relished; he felt uncomfortable and more than a little pathetic at his inability to move on from an unrequited love. He pushed aside the unwelcome thoughts for later consideration and rejoined the conversation with Naomi.
"It's going to be hard at first, but it's so good to be home." Naomi wasn't looking quite as miserable and Chakotay continued. "You'll get to be with your father and you'll have so many opportunities now. You'll get to visit Ktaris and play in the snow, you'll get to go to school and make friends your age, maybe you'll even have a pet of your own. You're going to be happy. We all are."
Naomi had begun to smile, but frowned at Chakotay's last sentence.
"But what about the captain? I don't think she's going to be happy at all."
"What do you mean?" Chakotay and Seven exchanged puzzled glances, but Naomi appeared to regret her statement. She shrugged uncomfortably.
"I shouldn't have said anything. I don't think the captain wants anyone to know."
"It seems to me that part of the duties of the captain's assistant involve notifying the first officer of any problems the captain might be having. I can't help her if I don't know something is wrong."
"Well... I guess that's true. Maybe you can talk to her too and then she'll be happy to be home." Naomi's lips quivered once more as she began her tale. "I was hiding from Mom last night. She wouldn't stop talking about seeing my dad again, so I ran away."
Chakotay made a mental note to make sure that a counselor was present tomorrow morning at the Wildman family reunion and nodded his head encouragingly, keeping his expression nonjudgmental.
"I went to Cargo Bay 1 because I thought it would be empty, but the captain was there." Naomi paused, looking down at her hands, then back up them with wide eyes. "She was... she was crying! She was crying the way my mom does sometimes when she looks at pictures of my dad. I didn't know the captain cries like that too. She's the captain! She's never scared or sad!"
"You are incorrect, Naomi. Captain Janeway is human and susceptible to all human weaknesses and vulnerabilities. You have simply never seen her display them."
"Oh." Naomi pondered Seven's words while Chakotay began worrying. He'd tried to be as supportive of Kathryn as possible over the last few days and she had never indicated that anything was wrong. In fact, she had been downright triumphant to have already negotiated the freedom of the Maquis crewmembers and fair hearings for the Equinox survivors. Why was she crying in the cargo bay, of all places?
"What was she doing in the cargo bay, Naomi?"
"She was packing. There was a big wooden thing in a container and she was looking at it and putting a transporter tag on it. I didn't know it was hers! It didn't say on the outside or we would never have used it, but it's all right, anyway. You can't even tell we played in it. Mostly," she muttered and shifted uneasily in her seat, appearing guilty. Seven stared at her, eyebrow raised.
"Naomi Wildman, that was an incomprehensible statement. Please clarify your meaning."
"I found it a long time ago. It was in this big container in the cargo bay and the label on it said there were self-sealing stem bolts inside and I wanted to see what they were. Only when I opened the container there was just this big wooden thing. An oval shape made of wood pieces. I didn't know what it was." She drew an oval in the air with one finger. "Then later, when Mezoti, Azan, and Rebi were here, we were playing hide and seek and I hid inside of it. They had to cheat and use the computer to find me! It's so big I could lie down inside and read a book and no one could ever see me. Mezoti and I used it for our clubhouse. We took snacks in there and we talked and we had fun. We were really careful, but sometimes a piece on the side would fall off and we would glue it back on."
"I do not understand what any of this has to do with Captain Janeway crying."
Seven was still trying to make sense of Naomi's story, but Chakotay swallowed hard and didn't say anything. She had to be talking about the bathtub he had made for Kathryn on New Earth, but as far as he knew it had been dismantled and recycled, along with the shelter and furnishings.
"I went to the cargo bay to hide in my clubhouse, but Captain Janeway was already there and she had the lid off the container. She was trying to put back a wood piece that had fallen off and she was crying. I told her I was sorry I broke her thing and she said it didn't matter. It was old and she should have recycled it a long time ago. And then she hugged me and said she was sorry she was crying and she would be fine soon and that it was wonderful we were all home and we were all going to be happy, but she still looked sad. So I told her my plan for all of us to stay on Voyager, but she said it wouldn't work and that we were all going to be happy now that we were home. But she still looked sad. I don't think she's going to be happy tomorrow."
"Don't worry about Captain Janeway. She's probably just tired. She's been very busy since we got home, but I'll make sure she's fine. Now, are you going to be okay, Naomi? No more running away from your mother?"
Naomi nodded at him and Seven spoke next.
"I would like to introduce you to my aunt tomorrow. She will want to meet all of my friends. I would like to meet your father, as well. Will you introduce me to him?"
"Okay! I wrote to him about you!"
"Good. I see your mother is waiting for you."
Naomi jumped up from her seat and ran to the other side of the table to give Seven a hug before returning to her mother's side. Sam gave them a wave, smiling once more as she leaned over to kiss Naomi's cheek.
"You handled Naomi very well, Seven."
"She is my friend. I want her to feel comfortable leaving Voyager."
"I'm sure she'll adjust. She just needs a little time."
Seven nodded and they sat at the table, staring at each other silently once more. Chakotay gave up on thinking of possible items of conversation; his mind was entirely on the bathtub Naomi had told them about—or what he assumed was the bathtub. It could be something else entirely; Naomi's powers of description weren't the best. Just why had Kathryn been crying? And why would she have kept the bathtub and never told him about it? The more he thought about it, the more Chakotay's heart pounded.
They had become close on New Earth. It was only natural since they had only had each other for company, but also because there had always been a mutual connection between them. He had revealed his feelings to Kathryn indirectly, realizing that she wasn't ready for bold declarations yet. After all, there was no need to push, they had all the time in the world to get to know each other and to slowly come together. Their union had been inevitable and so he had been patient, letting himself revel in his love for Kathryn as he learned to recognize all of her different smiles, the way she lost herself in her work, her sleepy yawns before her first cup of coffee... but that had all happened a long time ago. Voyager came back for them, they quickly reverted to their professional relationship, and New Earth was a distant and never talked about memory. It was what Kathryn wanted and he always gave her what she wanted. But if she had kept the tub and hadn't told him... he needed to go to the cargo bay at once.
"Seven, I've got some things to do right now. I hope you don't mind, but let's call it a night. We can meet in the morning for breakfast."
He stood, barely paying attention to Seven as he pushed his chair in, so her answer took him by surprise.
"I do mind. This is our last night on Voyager. We agreed to spend this time together and arranged our schedules in order to do so. I will accompany you and assist you in whatever capacity you require."
"That's kind of you, but I don't want to take up your time. You can go and regenerate and I'll see you in the morning."
"I do not require regeneration at this time, but I do require your presence."
She tilted her head and gave him a little smile, awaiting his response and he realized that this was her idea of flirting. It might have endeared her to him before the conversation with Naomi, but now he couldn't stop thinking about the bathtub. If Kathryn had kept it, what did that mean? There was no good reason to have stored such an unwieldy object for so many years, even if Kathryn was a bit of a pack rat. Maybe she had kept it because... Chakotay immediately squelched that thought.
"You can come if you want. I'm going to Cargo Bay 1," he answered abruptly, wanting urgently to see if it was the bathtub. And if it was? He shook his head and led the way to the cargo bay, Seven trailing along and glancing at him uncertainly.
There was only one storage container in the cargo bay as large as Naomi's description. Now that he saw it, he realized it had been there for years, a part of the collection of unremarkable containers holding any number of items that might be useful to Voyager at some point. He had never questioned its presence. The transporter tag on the lid contained directions for it to be beamed to the Janeway residence in Bloomington, Indiana while the label identified it as containing a large assortment of self-sealing stem bolts. Chakotay hesitated for a moment before removing the lid and setting it aside. It must have been a difficult maneuver for Naomi to perform, but worthwhile. The wooden bathtub he had made for Kathryn was indeed inside the container and he could see how it would have appealed to Naomi; it was the perfect hiding spot. Seven looked down into the container and frowned.
"I recognize this container. Why were the contents mislabeled? I inventoried the ship's storage areas three months ago and reported all instances of unnecessary materials to the Captain, including this particular storage container, but she did not follow my recommendation to recycle the contents. She deceived me. She knew that the container was mislabeled and she did not correct my inventory list."
Chakotay didn't respond. The wood had dried out and he could see the section that Naomi and Mezoti had attempted to repair. Kathryn had been so shocked when he presented her with the bathtub. She hadn't said anything for a moment, looking as if she were about to cry.
"A bathtub? You made a bathtub for me?" she had gasped, and then she had given him the most beautiful smile; it had lit up her entire face and he had caught his breath at the sight. All of those hours spent working in the sun had been worth it for that smile.
"What is this structure? It is crude." Seven reached into the container and poked the side. A slat promptly fell off and clattered against the interior of the container.
"It's a bathtub," Chakotay replied. "It needs to be repaired. The wood has completely dried out just sitting in here."
"Wood is not an appropriate material for a bathtub."
"No, but I had to work with what was available without wasting our energy reserves."
"You constructed this bathtub? Explain."
They were both leaning into the container to look at the tub, hands clutching the side. Chakotay straightened up and Seven followed suit, cocking her head to the side inquisitively.
"I made it for Captain Janeway when we were stranded on a planet in Vidiian space. I don't know if you ever heard about that; it happened years before you joined Voyager."
"I have reviewed all of the ship's logs and am aware of that incident." She glanced at the bathtub and then back at Chakotay. "I did not mean to offend you by saying the bathtub is crude."
"Well, you're right, it's crude, but it held the water and that was all that mattered."
Kathryn had undressed in her little room every evening and slipped on a robe, pinning up her hair so that her slender neck showed. He had deliberately kept his eyes away from the transparent dividing wall, but he had still heard the sounds of Kathryn removing her dress and brushing her hair. The scents of her shampoo and soap filled the shelter when she returned from her bath, relaxed and content, face sweetly flushed pink from the heat of the water. He had loved those evenings on New Earth, peacefully working on his own projects while Kathryn enjoyed her bath. Sometimes they talked, speaking loudly to be heard, but the silences had been warm, filled with the knowledge of their companionship and friendship. And of course there had been that memorable evening when she called out to him in alarm and he rushed to her rescue, finding her wrapped only in her towel...
"Why has this bathtub been stored here and incorrectly labeled? It may have been functional at one point, but it is now obsolete and requires a great deal of storage space. It should have been recycled along with all of the other materials used on that planet."
"I don't know, Seven." He pointed to the transporter tag. "It wasn't my doing. The captain must have her reasons for keeping it."
She hadn't used the tub during their last night on New Earth, instead taking a hurried sonic shower. They had been too busy packing and preparing for Voyager's arrival—tagging the items that would need to be recycled and the items that would be beamed back to the ship, uprooting the tomato garden, gathering Chakotay's tools from the clearing he used. There would be no trace of their presence left, as if their time on New Earth had never happened.
"What reason could the captain possibly have?"
Chakotay didn't answer, thinking about Naomi's description of Kathryn crying and trying to fix the bathtub. She hadn't cried when Voyager returned for them. She had given him a look just before they beamed up, as if she were experiencing a loss... but he had decided it was wishful thinking on his part. There had never been another hint of that look and it had been business as usual as soon as they returned to the bridge.
"Perhaps it is for sentimental reasons. I have been observing members of the crew packing useless and irrelevant objects to take with them to Earth."
"They're called souvenirs, Seven. It's basic human nature to want to keep a tangible object that has special meaning or reminds you of an event you would like to remember."
"Yes, I am aware of the concept. I am taking my parents' effects with me and the blanket the Nechani girl gave me." Seven turned to look at the tub, frowning. "But why would the captain choose to confer such meaning on a bathtub? It is an extremely impractical object. And why did you build this bathtub for the captain? A sonic shower would have been more efficient."
"We did have a sonic shower, but Captain Janeway enjoys baths. I wanted her to feel at home."
Seven stared at him for a long moment, the silence growing more and more uncomfortable. Finally, she spoke.
"That was kind of you. You have always been considerate of the captain's needs."
"Of course. Happy captain, happy ship."
It was a useful little quip that he often quoted to justify his care and concern for Kathryn. He could never tell anyone that it wasn't duty that compelled him to bear her burdens and take care of her needs. It was love, plain and simple, even though she didn't feel the same way about him. Seven was still staring at him, her bright blue eyes unblinking and wide. It was a little unnerving and he leaned into the container, picking up the slat that had fallen.
"Happy captain, happy ship," Seven repeated thoughtfully. "No. It is more than that. You are very devoted to the captain, even when you disagree with her. You are always aware of her. She always has your attention. You have dinner together frequently. You share books. You look at each other constantly when on duty. You..."
Her voice trailed off. He dropped the slat and stood, facing her. His initial bewilderment over Kathryn's decision to keep the bathtub was rapidly being replaced with anger toward her. Kathryn had held his heart for seven years and he had never imposed himself on her because he knew she didn't want that and so he had tried to set aside his feelings for her and had taken any opportunity for female companionship that presented itself to him. Now he had a chance at a real relationship with someone else, a chance to finally excise Kathryn from his heart, but somehow she had managed to cast her shadow against his bright new hope. Seven was frowning at Kathryn's bathtub and then looking at him speculatively.
"The captain is my friend, Seven. That's all she's ever wanted from me."
"But she kept this bathtub that you made for her. There is no logical reason for her to have done so. She must have kept it for sentimental reasons. It must have special meaning for her, as you said. She must want it because it reminds her of a special event."
Seven's tone was becoming strident and Chakotay instantly felt defensive. It was ridiculous. Were they having an argument over why Kathryn had kept a bathtub?
"Or she's a bathtub collector. Or she likes this wood and wants to have something else made from it. Who knows? It's just a tub and it doesn't matter."
"If it doesn't matter, then why did your heart rate increase when Naomi first told us about the bathtub? Why has it remained high? Why did you attempt to end our date early and insist on coming here to see it for yourself? Why have you suddenly become so distracted, as if you are barely aware of my presence? Why was the captain crying as she examined the bathtub?"
"Seven, I told you, it's just a bathtub," he managed to mutter. There were no firm answers to those questions, at least not any he wanted to share. Seven narrowed her eyes.
"You have feelings for the captain." It wasn't a question.
"Of course I do. She's my closest friend."
"No, not the feelings of a friend. Do not deceive me. You... you love her."
"Yes," Chakotay answered slowly. He couldn't deny his love for Kathryn when directly asked, even if he was about to destroy any chance at a relationship with Seven; it was too much a part of him and it wasn't right to lie to her about it. "I'm sorry, Seven, but you deserve the truth. If it makes you feel any better, she doesn't love me. I've been dating you because I genuinely believe that we could have a future together. It's a little premature to talk about love after only four dates, but I think we could have something special together."
Seven was quiet for a moment, thinking over his words while Chakotay wondered what the hell he was doing. He kept fighting for this relationship in the hopes that it would make him forget Kathryn, but it wasn't working.
"I am... surprised, Chakotay. I didn't anticipate this. Apparently, I was in error when I decided to date you. The hologram never indicated that you are in love with Captain Janeway. I should have downloaded your personal logs into it and then perhaps I would have realized your unsuitability as a romantic partner for me."
Chakotay blinked, trying to process what Seven had just said. She couldn't possibly mean what he was assuming.
"What do you mean you should have downloaded my personal logs into a hologram? What hologram are you talking about?"
"A hologram of you. I used it to gain practice and confidence in intimate situations, but it was clearly not a faithful reproduction of you."
She spoke calmly and deliberately, as if she were reporting on a failed astrometrics project.
"You made a hologram of me, so that you could practice intimate situations? What exactly did you do with it?" He couldn't keep the reproach from his voice and Seven stared at him for a moment before replying, as if she didn't understand why he might be upset.
"I became friends with the hologram and then went on a series of dates with it. I practiced conversational skills, flirting, giving and receiving compliments, simple physical touches-"
"Physical touches! Just what did you with it?"
"I didn't copulate with it, if that is what you are concerned about. We kissed, hugged, held hands, touched-"
"That's enough. I don't want to hear anymore." Chakotay walked away from Seven, putting the bathtub between them and taking a moment to gather his thoughts. He felt physically ill. It wasn't so much the idea of a hologram of himself being used in this way that bothered him. In fact, he felt somewhat flattered to know that he was the object of Seven's fantasies. What bothered him was that she had felt it necessary to practice on a hologram before she started dating him. He remembered walking in on his younger sister once and finding her passionately kissing the mirror. He had teased her mercilessly about it until his mother put an end to it. Sekaya had been fourteen at the time. Seven looked distinctly uncomfortable and finally broke the heavy silence that had settled on them.
"I did not create the hologram; it was already programmed by the Doctor as part of the holoprogram he created to assist me in developing my social skills."
"You know it's inappropriate to use a hologram of a real person like that, Seven."
"You are incorrect." She spoke petulantly, just as she always did when he or Kathryn had to correct her behavior—a trait that annoyed him to no end. "It would have been wrong if I had copulated with the Chakotay hologram, but I didn't. I only used it to hone my social skills, as prescribed by the Doctor. It was an efficient and healthy method to prepare myself for interactions with an actual person and it gave me the confidence to approach you. We have had four successful dates now as a result of my research."
"It's still wrong! The ends don't justify the means."
"It did not hurt you. I don't understand why you are so perturbed. You were not bothered when the Captain engaged in an affair with a hologram. In fact, it was her example that led me to use your hologram in the same manner. She was quite satisfied with her relationship with her hologram."
Chakotay clenched his jaw. He'd been jealous as hell, but he'd kept it to himself. Anything at all that helped her relax was fine by him and Michael Sullivan was only a hologram after all, something she turned off whenever she was through with using it. She still came to Chakotay when she needed to gossip, to laugh, to unburden her thoughts, to put her feet up and share a glass of cider while the starlight shone in her glossy hair...
"Chakotay?" He blinked and focused his attention back on Seven. "I am sorry if you are offended by my use of your hologram. I believe that we can still continue to explore our relationship despite your feelings for Captain Janeway. You realize the futility of a relationship with her and therefore, I have no reason to discontinue our association. You will soon forget her as we become closer."
The futility of a relationship with her... the words felt like a slap in Chakotay's face. Even Seven—probably the most oblivious person on the ship when it came to unspoken emotions—recognized what a fool he was to continue loving Kathryn. He should give himself wholeheartedly to Seven, just as the Admiral—that bitter and aged version of Kathryn—had insinuated he had done in her timeline. She hadn't spoken much to him, but she had watched him, her blue eyes drinking him in. He hadn't known what to think about her behavior, but it didn't matter. She was gone, her life gladly sacrificed in order to bring them all home. That was Kathryn... no matter how old or cynical... a woman who would sacrifice anything at all to get her ship and people home. He had seen her leave for the shuttle bay to face certain death, jaw clenched in determination and not a hint of hesitation in her walk.
Her jaw, he remembered suddenly, had been clenched just as determinedly when they returned to Voyager after leaving New Earth. She had been all business, barking out orders, no hint of the softness he had learned she was capable of, her radiant smiles wiped away. And yet... somehow she had found the time to conceal the bathtub in the cargo bay. Chakotay ran a finger over the transporter tag. If she had begun to reciprocate his feelings, of course she would have immediately buried them once she regained command of Voyager. She had never once allowed any of her needs to come before her duty to Voyager, often working herself to the point of exhaustion and needing to be reminded to eat or rest. Michael Sullivan was allowed in her life because he could be deactivated quite easily, but Jaffen had been left behind on Quarra. The bathtub could stay hidden away in the cargo bay, but Chakotay was only a first officer and friend, nothing more.
"Chakotay! Where are you going?"
His heart was racing as he strode through the cargo bay doors and into the turbolift, Seven following as quickly as her long legs allowed.
"Deck Three," Chakotay told the computer. He faced Seven. "I'm going to ask Kathryn why she kept that bathtub. I think I've been wrong about her all these years. Look, Seven, I'm sorry, but it's obvious that this isn't working out between us. You should go now."
"You are hoping that Captain Janeway will tell you she kept the bathtub because she also harbors feelings for you." Seven followed Chakotay as he exited the turbolift. "She does not. She has never shown that she views you as anything other than a friend. She is content with her duties as captain and does not require companionship."
Chakotay paused at Kathryn's door, his finger hovering over the chime. Seven was frowning at him impatiently. He didn't want to hurt her, but it looked unavoidable.
"You're wrong, but it doesn't matter. I'm not going to date you anymore, even if Kathryn only sees me as a friend. Seven, we have nothing in common. There's nothing between us, not even a friendship we could use as a foundation. I think we were just two lonely people clinging to each other. I've been trying to convince myself that we have a future together, but we don't, especially now that we're home. Maybe you felt something for that hologram, but I'm not that hologram and you deserve more. It's time for us to move on from each other."
Her face didn't crumple in dismay and there were no tears, no furious rants, or agreement at his words. Seven merely raised an eyebrow.
"You will change your mind when the captain turns you down. I will remain for moral support; you will need it."
"Seven, what I need is for you to leave. I'm about to have a private conversation with Kathryn."
He pressed the door chime, but Seven remained where she was. Kathryn didn't respond immediately and he held his finger down on the chime so that it would beep continuously. Seven shook her head at him.
"The captain has forbidden me from doing that. She will be annoyed with you."
He ignored her and continued holding the chime button, being rewarded a few seconds later with a disgruntled, "All right, come in already, but leave that chime alone!" Kathryn sounded highly irritated, even through the door's comm system. Chakotay stepped inside quickly, Seven following along despite the glare he shot at her. Well, let her be present then. He was sure that he was about to find out that Kathryn cared more for him than she had ever let on, and Seven would be forced to finally give up on him. Kathryn was seated at her desk and she frowned when she looked up from her computer and saw who her visitors were. Her eyes darted quickly between them, almost apprehensively, before she greeted them cheerily enough.
"Seven, Chakotay, I'm just finishing up a comm call with my sister. Have a seat and I'll be with you in a minute."
Seven sat down. He wandered the living room, a little shocked at its appearance. Kathryn had been busy packing; the room was almost bare and a series of storage containers were stacked neatly against one wall. It reminded him of the shelter on New Earth just before Voyager arrived to beam them back up. Kathryn had come out of her little room dressed in her full uniform with her hair pinned up in a tight bun, the four pips on her collar shining brightly in the sunlight. She wasn't quite so formal tonight. The uniform jacket was tossed on the back of a chair and her boots were under the dining room table. Her voice was bright and cheery as she finished her conversation with her sister, the plans for the Janeway family reunion finally concluded. Chakotay looked up as Kathryn deactivated her monitor and stood, making her way to the seating area.
"Well, where's the fire? I hope everything is all right."
She sat in her chair, crossing her legs and leaning back as if she didn't have a care in the world, but her hands clenched the armrests tightly as she looked at Seven sitting on the couch. Chakotay noticed how she seemed to be avoiding eye contact with him. Now that he thought about it, she'd been acting a little odd with him for a few days now. Had she found out he and Seven were dating? He moved closer to the seating area, but remained standing, considering how he could ask Kathryn about the bathtub and get her to open up. Seven sighed impatiently and spoke before he had a chance to say anything.
"I do not intend to waste the remainder of our final evening on Voyager with tedious conversation. In short, we discovered that you have hidden a bathtub in Cargo Bay 1 that Chakotay made for you. It is a most unusual object to have kept as a keepsake. In discussing the bathtub, I learned that Chakotay is in love with you and he is now under the delusion that you also love him because you kept the bathtub."
"Seven!" Chakotay roared in shock. Kathryn's mouth dropped open and her cheeks turned pink. Seven ignored Chakotay and spoke more loudly.
"I have explained to Chakotay that he is mistaken since I have never observed you behaving in a manner indicative of romantic love, but he needs to hear from you that you do not love him. Explain the truth to him and do not concern yourself with his feelings, Captain. I will console him and he will forget you quickly."
"Seven, you're completely out of line," Chakotay hissed. "Get. Out. Now. None of this is any of your business. I told you, we're through. Dating you was a complete mistake."
"You're both out of line." Kathryn stood and placed one hand on a hip. She pointed at them with the index finger of her right hand to emphasize every word. "I don't know what's going on between you two and I don't want to know either. It's completely inappropriate to drag me into whatever it is and I don't appreciate it. Leave now and go take care of your issues in private."
"No." Chakotay shook his head. As angry as he was with Seven, there was no way in hell he was letting anything or anyone distract him from his goal. "I'm not going anywhere, Kathryn, not until you tell me why you kept that bathtub."
"I am also not going to leave until I hear your answer."
Kathryn's eyes darted between the two of them and she threw her hands up in the air.
"You've both lost your minds. I don't understand why that old bathtub matters so much to either of you. How did you even find it? Oh... Naomi." She sighed.
Chakotay nodded and then he responded gently. "It matters to me, Kathryn, because it's proof that New Earth meant something to you. All these years you've acted as if New Earth never happened and I thought I was the only one who fell in love, but I was wrong, wasn't I?"
"Of course you were wrong. You're a damned idiot, too." She shrugged and looked out the viewport, refusing to meet his eyes. Chakotay stared at her in wonder, letting the insult roll off his back. Kathryn loved him. Kathryn loved him. He couldn't take his eyes off her. She continued to stare at Earth, one hand on her hip, and he took a step toward her. He had forgotten Seven until she spoke.
"I don't understand. What are you saying, Captain?"
"She means she fell in love with me too, Seven. And now that you've heard her answer, you can leave."
"But she has not explicitly stated that she loves you. Or perhaps she did love you, but not anymore. Or..."
"You are dismissed!" He and Kathryn spoke in unison and their eyes met in surprise before they turned to Seven. She glared at them both.
"You should have made your intentions to each other known to the rest of the crew. I would not have wasted my time had I known this would be the outcome. I will go now. I am sure the Doctor will enjoy spending the remainder of the evening with me. He has always appreciated my company."
Seven whirled around and stomped out into the hallway. Kathryn watched her leave and turned to Chakotay, eyebrows raised. He cleared his throat nervously.
"That was a little awkward. I'm not sure if you knew, but Seven and I were dating and it, uh, didn't end well."
"When has it ever ended well for you? You've been a fool with women for as long as I've known you. Well, Seven won't defect to the Kazon and try to steal your DNA, so the way I see it, at least you're improving," Kathryn commented waspishly. Chakotay winced.
"I'll admit I've made my share of mistakes over the years, especially with you, but you didn't make it easy. You never gave me a sign you loved me."
"And why would I have? My one priority was the ship. You knew that."
"I wouldn't have interfered and I would have followed your lead, as I've always done. My priority has always been to support you. And if I had known, I wouldn't have tried to forget you by becoming involved with anyone else. I thought I was a fool because I couldn't move on from a woman who only cared about me as a friend."
Kathryn rolled her eyes and walked away from him to her desk, but she remained standing with her back to him, looking at the darkened monitor. She seemed so small without her boots on.
"If we hadn't gotten home when we did, you would have moved on eventually. You would have married Seven within the next three years; the Admiral told me. You can still go patch things up with her, you know."
"I don't want to be with Seven and she was only in love with the idea of me. We were just using each other without realizing it. Kathryn, it's you I've always wanted to be with."
He walked up behind her and tentatively placed his hands on her shoulders, looking down at the top of her head. He'd always thought that without her boots on, her head would fit perfectly underneath his chin. He adjusted his hands so that he was cradling her from behind, his arms wrapping around her, the back of her body pressed against his front, the top of his chin resting on her head. Yes, they fit together perfectly, just as he'd always suspected. She was trembling, but she wasn't pushing him away, so he pressed a kiss into her hair.
"What were you going to do with that bathtub in Indiana, Kathryn?"
"I don't know," she whispered. "Just keep it to remember you by. It's the most beautiful and thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me."
"I'll fix it for you and install it in our own home. We're going to be living together after the debriefings, you know."
"We are, huh? We haven't even been on one date."
Chakotay raised a hand to push her hair behind her ear and trace the delicate lobe. She tilted her head and sighed as he gave her ear a small kiss.
"We're home, Kathryn. There's no reason for us to be apart anymore."
She turned around so that she was against his chest and wrapped her arms around him, hiding her face in his neck.
"She lost you. The Admiral lost you. I thought I had too."
"I'm sorry," he breathed, moved by the tears he felt against his neck. "But she made everything better. We're free now."
"You'll fix the bathtub for me?"
"Of course."
Kathryn looked up at him, the crooked little grin he had always adored lighting up her face.
"Good. But you know, I already have a perfectly good bathtub right here. Why don't we go try that one out? It's our last night on Voyager, after all. We need to make it special."
As she led him into her bathroom, Chakotay reflected that it was amazing how quickly a relationship could change—how quickly everything could change. He and Kathryn were finally together, just as they always should have been.
The End