Summary: Sephiroth has a problem that he won't let just anybody help him with. He's literally stuck unless Zack can find him someone with both brains and sympathy. Short fluff, SephxElena

Disclaimer: I waive whatever rights I'm supposed to be waiving here

Rufus Shinra scanned the oval table. They had staff meeting every morning at nine. It was dull, but necessary. The head of every department was there, except Soldier. Where was Sephiroth? He normally didn't miss an appointment. Any appointment. The man was absolutely anal about time. Rufus had actually called his secretary to confirm that he hadn't forgotten something, that he hadn't already assigned the Gereral to some field work today. He hadn't. Sephiroth was in town; he merely didn't show up for work and hadn't called in.

This all was very irritating to President Shinra because he meant to send Sephiroth out with a company of grunts tonight on a highly sensitive mission. He needed the man ready and at his best. And now he would have to call him personally.

He dialed Sephiroth's home phone, a relatively luxurious double apartment near the top floor of the main Shinra building. The phone made four rings before he answered. That couldn't be good. Maybe the man was sick. Did Sephiroth get sick? He couldn't recall.

"General, it's Rufus. We missed you today. Is everything all right?"

"I've been better."

"Are you ill?"

No answer.

"Are you still there?"

"Yes."

But he offered no explanation. Something was definitely wrong. Damn. The Soldier program was highly successful at inducing faster reactions, better strength, better toughness, but as a rule the better the Soldier the more temperamental they were. Like highly tuned racecars that squirreled out of their lane if not expertly driven.

"OK General, I'm going to send Zack Fair up to see you."

"Fine." and Sephiroth hung up.

Zack was probably the most easygoing soldier he had. Maybe they should be cloning Zack Fair.

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"Well, will you let me help you?"

Sephiroth jerked away from Zack with undisguised horror. He was perhaps his only friend, but there were limits.

"I don't need any guys touching me," he snarled.

"OK, OK, calm down Seph, we're pretty smart, we'll figure this out."

Sephiroth cast a baleful look at his lieutenant. Brains weren't exactly first on the soldier's list of skills.

"Right, maybe not, but we have a whole company of eggheads at our disposal."

"No lab people! I mean it Zack!"

Zack could understand his aversion to the Shinra scientists. Sephiroth had been poked and prodded and sampled since birth, but normally he submitted with indignant resignation. His current state of mental agitation must be making him belligerent.

"OK, calm down, no lab guys. But we need a problem solver here, someone who knows how to use chemicals..."

The both looked up at each other simultaneously. Zack was going to have to say what they both were thinking.

"Turks?"

Sephiroth's lips curled into a snarl.

"There's some girl Turks, there's that pretty blonde, Elena... something."

"She hates me. I've tried to talk to her. She's always so... impolite."

"Ah, you probably just make her nervous."

Sephiroth considered. He did get a wide range of strange reactions from women he had to work with. And he had never come across a woman who didn't like him on some level.

"Allright," he said finally, "I will allow a female Turk. Get the blonde if you can."

"OK, great!" Zack brightened visibly, "Stay put, OK?"

"I'm not going anywhere," Sephiroth grumbled.