Of Flowers and Farewell
They catch her eye. And without thinking further, she bents down and plucks them, one by one. When she's done, her cheeks are wet. She wipes them once furiously. But it doesn't really matter.
"Here." Hange holds out the small bouquet. Levi turns to face her. He stares at her for a few moments and then nods thankfully, a small, sad smile forming on his lips. There are no words needed.
When she arrived, he had been standing before the bed, looking down. And she had to swallow around the lump in her throat at the sight of it; he looked lost and out of place and somehow too old and at the same time too young. The way his shoulders slumped and the way his disheveled hair fell into his face; it all screamed pain and helplessness. He would put everything back in place, of course. But not yet, he wasn't ready.
Levi takes the small bouquet of flowers from her. And she watches him while he puts the flowers in a bottle. He brushes off the dust and places it on the drawer beside the bed. It's not much, but at least it's something. And she takes another look around.
Levi had chosen the place. Quiet and serene.
"It's nice." And she gestures at the room around her. He glances at her before looking away again. "Yeah, and fairly clean." At that, she can't help a tiny smile.
They stay silent for a while, standing next to each other, both lost in their own thoughts, staring down at the bed before them.
Hange tries to clear her mind of anything else, even their really pressing problems can wait for a bit; it's just the two of them; trying to comprehend everything that had happened over the past hours. Trying to say goodbye.
There are no proper words to convey how they feel. So they stay silent. Just the two of them, breathing, alive.
And she lets out a sigh. It's nearly too much, and it makes her want to punch something, or maybe sit down on the floor and cry. However, in the Survey Corps, nothing is impossible. They are always prepared for the worst.
But still—
Hange takes a glance at her right. She had thought that maybe he would cry. That once they were alone, he would let go. But he hadn't.
Some things are beyond tears.
She turns her gaze back to the bed before her. Trying to be fully present, taking in the room around her. There is no other sound to be heard but their quiet breathing. It's calming, somehow.
"We should go back." She startles. His voice is rough and too loud in the otherwise silence. "The brats are probably waiting." Hange turns her head and glances at him.
Levi takes a step forward and stretches out an arm until his fingers waver above the green cloak. "We've to go, Erwin. I'm sorry we have to leave you here." He pauses for a moment. "But I'll be back. I promise." Then his fingertips brush the material, and he takes a step back.
The sob catches her by surprise, and a hand shoots up, clasping over her mouth. Levi turns to look at her. His face is devoid of anything but tiredness now. Mask is back in place and shoulders squared; the vulnerability from moments ago is gone, firmly tucked away. He places a hand on her arm and squeezes reassuringly. And she wipes at her cheeks.
"Yeah," she croaks out. And Hange has to clear her throat. "We should go back."
She casts one last look at their former commander lying unmoving on the bed, her gaze shifting to the white flowers next to it.
Farewell, Erwin. And thank you.
Then she turns around, and Levi follows her outside into the sunlight, and toward the responsibilities that are waiting for them.
I really love the flowers in the panel where we see Erwin lying on the bed, I think it's a beautiful detail, and I always wondered who put them there. So I decided to write a small story about it.
I hope you enjoyed.
All the mistakes are mine.