Author's notes: Oh gee… I never expected to write this soon. ~_~ With all the projects and all that, I wanted to rest for a few weeks. Then I got this idea. Ideas are dangerous, I tell you… dangerous!!!
Anyway, this is a songfic, for you people out there! A bit of fluff. *gah* heehee… I love this song, so I was inspired! Song + inspiration = fanfiction! Teehee. Well, hope you guys enjoy! ^_^ This is a one- shot!
Disclaimer: *wind ruffling through my hair on an eerie night*
Me: we meet again, disclaimer boy.
DB:…
Me: speechless, eh? Well, take this! YAH! *slashes at disclaimer boy… but sword breaks*
GAAAHH!
DB: *smiles sweetly*
Aherm… on with the songfic! Oh right, Don't own RK, don't own "My Immortal" by Evanescence!
My Immortal
By Tesuka- chan
It was a peaceful night. The velvet skies were clear, the stars shone brightly in the sky, the crickets sang their song, echoing throughout the yard, and the sweet –
"HEY COME BACK HERE YAHIKO-CHAN!"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT, BUSU!"
Well. Apparently, all's not as peaceful as we thought.
Our rurouni had the very same thoughts as he sighed in abandonment. He sat outside on the steps, silently watching nature before him. The soft breeze ruffled his red hair, his purple eyes twinkling lightly at the contentment he felt. Everything's just the way it is. Everything's just how he wanted it.
Except for one longing inside his heart.
He pushed the feeling away, knowing that it could never be. He had to be grateful for what he has now, not long for more. Still, one cannot control his feelings, and he felt it rushing back, enveloping him in sudden loneliness. He shook his head, denying it. At least he must not think of it now. Not now.
But I have to face it sooner or later.
He sighed.Leaving the thoughtful bishounen behind, let us now dwell in Kaoru's thoughts.
Damn Yahiko… always *&%$*#%$ around, being !@$%…
Ahhh… let's try again. ^_^'
The very miffed Kaoru huffed out of the room, looking mighty scary with her killer eyes and the angry aura around her. Geesh… I swear, one of these days… she paused abruptly, seeing Kenshin in front of her. Her blue eyes softened and she approached the figure, plopping down beside him. "Hey there."
Kenshin looked at her and smiled his usual smile, "Hello Kaoru- dono."… but there was something lacking in it.
She noticed this right away and began to worry. "Are you okay? You look… discontented."
Kenshin looked away, concentrating at the firefly dancing among the white blooms. "I'm fine, Kaoru- dono. You shouldn't worry over shessha too much."
Kaoru sighed, her gaze lingering on his perfect face. This guy is so dense sometimes. "I worry about you all the time."
"You shouldn't worry about strangers you don't know, de gozaru yo."
Kaoru's back stiffened at this. Now she knew. Now she knew why she was feeling this certain uneasiness between Kenshin for the past few days. Why he seemed so restless, like his soul was yearning to move on.
The said man seemed to sense her thoughts. "Kaoru- dono I…"
Kaoru shook her head, "Iiye… Kenshin, whatever you're planning to do, be careful." Her she turned towards him, and looked deeply in his eyes. "and follow whatever's in your heart."
Kenshin gazed at her, seemingly drowning in those blue orbs. Finally, he nodded. He had made a decision.
Kaoru gave him a cheerful smile and stood up to leave. "Goodnight, Kenshin." Goodbye.
"Goodnight, Kaoru- dono." I have to go. Gomen nasai.
Kaoru turned around quickly before the man she loves sees the tears falling down her cheeks.
~~~
I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
~~~
She sat quietly, alone… waiting.
It had hurt so much, knowing that he was leaving. She knew that one day, he would have to. That one day, his wanderlust will overtake him and he'll have to move on… but she was never sure. She had hoped that this time, he'd stay. She bowed her head, her silky blue- black hair curtained her face. She was wearing her robe, even though it was a cool spring night. She didn't mind the cold. She didn't mind anything anymore now.
Crystal tears fell on the polished wooden floor.
~~~
Because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real…
~~~
He silently closed the sliding doors behind him.
It was already dark, and he figured that everyone is asleep by now. Especially Kaoru.
He inhaled the sweet fresh air and gazed quietly at the full moon, illuminating everything in its sight. He exhaled, pulling himself together. I have to do this. I cannot stay here forever… there are so many injustice out there and I have to make amends for what I've done. His amethyst eyes flickered slightly as he thought of a certain strong- willed girl. I don't deserve her. She has so much to live for, and I cannot offer anything. He sighed and started walking quietly around the dojo.
And stopped.
She was sitting there, leaning against the post, her eyes closed. Her hair was unbound, and fell around her shoulders. She was curled up, most probably because of the cool night breeze. She looked so innocent… and he was unworthy of her.
Against his own will, his direction changed, moving towards the sleeping girl. He paused in front of her, the longing great in his heart. He gently tucked her hair behind her ears, a gesture so simple, yet it had sent shivers up his arms. She moved slightly, a small smile forming on her ruby lips. He too, smiled … sadly. Looking around, he found a blanket by her feet and he tucked this around her.
Her head lolled to his shoulders, cheek against his neck.
Gulping and blushing a bit, he gently leaned her head back against the post. Looking at her closely, he couldn't resist not saying goodbye, even to a sleeping Kaoru. "Gomen nasai, Kaoru. Thank you for everything. Sayonara."
And he leaned close to here, briefly brushing his lips against hers.
And he was gone.
~~~
… there's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
~~~
It's been years.
Kaoru- sensei sat in front of the dojo, sitting against the very same pole she leaned on the past ten years, every year, on the very same day. The day he left them, the dojo… her.
She sighed and thought of other things. She was 29 now, and her school had risen up from the slumps and is now very successful. People of all ages from all places are swarming over her dojo, wanting to be taught the 'sword that protects'. Yahiko was now the head instructor. Surprise, surprise.
Everything was great.
Really.
She closed her eyes, relaxing her mind, resting from the hectic events of the day. She had matured, physically and emotionally. She had been a rash teenager, not being able to control her emotions properly, acting on impulse. Now, her features were more defined, more elegant, eyes as blue as ever. Now she was truly a woman, in control of herself, of her emotions… and expert on hiding them.
She could fool the others, but she cannot fool herself.
The truth is… she missed him.
~~~
You used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
~~~
She buried her face in her hands as tears fell down her cheeks for the first time in years. No matter how hard she shoved it away at the back of her mind, his image was still as clear as day. The flaming red hair, that sweet Rurouni smile, his overall goodness. Kami- sama, how she misses him.
She remembered that night when she fell asleep waiting for him.
She remembered the dread, the heart- ache, the loss.
She remembered his kiss.
Yes, she was conscious at that moment. She had risen from her peaceful slumber and felt someone tucking the blanket around her, keeping the cold away. She was afraid to open her eyes… knowing that it was Kenshin. Then she heard those words that penetrated her soul. And the soft brush of his lips after it.
And she remembered watching him walk away, his back turned to her, leaving her… leaving her behind.
She had wanted to go after him, but at that moment, she knew that she had to let go. If she truly loved him, she had to let him be. That was the time she first matured, the time she learned to accept. And in the end, as she watched him turn the corner, she had whispered a word,
"Sayonara."
She said goodbye, but she never stopped hoping.
She curled up in a ball, her shoulders trembling in suppressed agony.
~~~
These wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
~~~
It's been years. Much too long. She's not counting anymore.
Sitting outside on her favorite place, she sipped her tea silently as she watched the world pass by in front of her. She had lived her purpose, and now she's just waiting for life to end. She smiled morosely, the corner of her eyes crinkling up as she remembered the good 'ol times, when Sano came back from his travels and messed up their life once again, when Megumi put up her own clinic, when Yahiko married Tsubame. You missed everything Kenshin. We could've been there together… but I was alone on the sidelines.
She was tired, but contented.
She watched as Yahiko's children ran around the corner of the dojo to take their bath and go to sleep, with their mother's orders. Yahiko playfully messed up one dark- topped head heading towards her. Towards the aging woman, pitifully wasting her life away. He sat beside her, enjoying the peace.
He suddenly spoke up, breaking the silence. "You never got over him, have you?"
Kaoru's faded blue eyes turned to him.
Yahiko sighed. "Don't lie to me now, Busu." He teased her gently, wanting to see if she still had that spark. He never wanted her to end up like this. He had always thought that Kenshin would come back and marry her. But it was not so.
Kaoru's eyes flickered as she smirked at him. "Well, Yahiko- CHAN, I'm sick of lying." She looked away, staring into space. "An yes, I never got over him."
Yahiko felt angry. Kaoru didn't deserve to be like this, she didn't deserve to pine away for a man who'll never return. Too bad he noticed it too late. They're both too old for anything. "Kaoru, you need to at least spend the rest of your life living fully. He's not coming back! Let it go."
She remained silent, watching the petal of a cherry blossom dance to the wind.
He sighed, shaking his head. "Give it up. Live your life. You still have one." He stood up and left.
She sipped her now cold tea. Today was the day he left. And she's still waiting. Still hoping.
The pink petal touched the ground at last, ending it's journey.
~~~
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
~~~
He was there when I needed him.
He saved me from whatever harm that came my way.
He was there to comfort me.
And now he's leaving.
And he's bringing a part of me with him.
And I will never be complete again. For the rest of my life.
~~~
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
~~~
Kaoru suddenly woke up, her endless blue eyes shining in the dark night. Shoved the blanket that was wrapped around her, realizing that she fell asleep on the porch. That dream… it's like my whole future passed by. She tried to calm down her throbbing heart, knowing that that would be her future without Kenshin. It's horrible.
She can't let that happen. She WOULD NOT let that happen.
Let all call her foolish and selfish for what she is about to do but she cannot let him go, if letting go means giving up on the one she truly loves. And be miserable for the rest of her life.
She heard a scuffle.
She abruptly stood up, fearing the worst. Has he gone yet? Did he leave me? Damn it, why did I fell asleep at this crucial time?
Shaking and only wearing her robe, she ran across the yard, lightly stumbling and almost falling, but she was able to right herself up before running again. She hurriedly turned to the corner of the gate. Please, let him be not so far away. Don't let him slip through my fingers.
She stopped and looked at the road to her right. Only a trail of pink cherry blossoms floated around, carried by the gentle wind.
She whirled to her left, only seeing an empty street.
He's gone.
I'm too late.
She collapsed on the ground, her shoulders shaking in deepest sorrow.
The cherry blossoms danced their way in front of her, whirling around her trembling form, and suddenly blown away in front of her. She watched them blankly, her blue eyes glassy. I'm nothing without him.
~~~
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
~~~
"Kaoru- dono."
Okay. Now she's gone crazy. She's pretty sure she's hallucinating right now… hearing voices in her head. Maybe Yahiko had better fetch the doctor to send her to an institution of some sort. What did they call that? A mental one?
"Ano… are you okay, Kaoru- dono?"
Damn hallucinations! Can't they just leave me to wallow in self- pity?
Irked, she raised her tear- stained face to IT. "Why you…… Kenshin?"
Kenshin smiled down at her, his sweet smile melting her heart. "Hai, Kaoru- dono."
She couldn't speak. He's here. He's still here. And what the hell is she doing on the ground? She stood up abruptly, facing the rurouni. "I- I thought you were gone… I th- thought you were leaving m – the dojo."
He had a puzzled expression on his face. "I just bought some tofu, Kaoru- dono."
Her gaze tore away from his face to the wooden bucket that he was carrying. T- tofu? "You bought tofu?"
"For our lunch."
"You bought TOFU?!"
"…"
"Don't do that to me again! ARGH!" Kaoru bonked Kenshin on the head.
"Oro~"
"Let's go back to the dojo!"
"H- hai, Kaoru- dono."
Kenshin smiled ruefully. She will always be the same Kaoru that everyone loves. The same Kaoru that he loves. He glanced sideways at her reddened face and lightly chuckled. Good thing he came back. The minute he walked out of that gate, he felt something more powerful than his wanderlust, pulling at him, gnawing at his insides. He couldn't leave her. He just couldn't.
So he went back to stay.
At least for now.
~~~
My Immortal
~~~
A/n: yay! This was a one- shot guys, so don't go asking for more! (hah… like that would happen) *grins*. To be honest, this was for all those people whom I 'cliffhanged' on my last ficcy. I don't know if I'm going to write a sequel yet… I'll decide over the summer. *puts on shades* 'til then! Ja! *walks away* ladeeda…
p.s. thanks so much to darkfairy for dedicating a chapter for me! *mwah!* I'll be forever supportive! Thanks! ^_^
Oh… please read and review! I'll be forever grateful! *bows*