Disclaimer: nothing belongs to me
Rating: M (language, violence)
A/N: English is not my first language.
Summary: "You are turning your back on the Capitol and the President himself. What would Cato say?""Well, that we'll never know, thanks to you. Because Cato's dead.""Really?" Snow growled and little did I know he was about to say words that were going to haunt me for months. "Says who?"
Clove wins the 74th Hunger Games, but she is not the only one to have left the Arena alive. Sequel to Mocking Games. Clove&Cato
Recap: Clove and Cato volunteered together as tributes for the 74th Hunger Games. But nothing went according to their plan. The rules were changed. All tributes were divided in teams and were to protect one another in order to increase their chances of survival. Once bloody and brutal, Cato and Clove, separated from each other, are forced to team up with those they had planned to eliminate during Bloodbath. As days pass by and they get to know their allies, both begin to lose their Career qualities that made them who they were before the Games. Vicious District 2 Careers find themselves reborn into people they no longer recognize, which not only changes the entire game, but also opens up the possibility that there is one thing they both want more than the crown - they want each other.
On A Knife Edge
~ Sequel to 'Mocking Games'
Chapter 1: "Blackmail"
"Are you in danger of becoming a good man?"
~ Gladiator
Tears filled my eyes and I was glad he could not see them. Tears were weak. I couldn't let him see me at my weakest. I was already on the losing end of this fight.
"What you are doing right now, Miss Raven is beyond all kinds of foolish," he said with a laugh that reminded me of the mutts' barks. "You are turning your back on the Capitol and the President himself. What would Cato say?"
I fumed. Spinning around on my heels I stormed across the room right back to the table and rested my trembling hands on it, glaring right into Snow's eyes with as much intensity and hatred as I was capable of.
"If he was here," I hissed, my voice dripping with despise. Unafraid. "he would be standing right next to me telling you all the places you can stick your deal."
"I personally think he would have been more reasonable than you, Miss Raven," Snow said, leaning back in his chair casually as if we were discussing a dinner recipe.
"Well, that we'll never know, thanks to you." I murmured, my fingernails scratching the table's surface as my hands curled into fists. "Because Cato's dead."
"Really?" Snow growled and little did I know he was about to say words that were going to haunt me for months.
Sitting up straight with his hands knitted together in front of him and that smug, evil smirk still present on his face, he said:
"Says who?"
It was suddenly so cold; it went deep inside my bones to the point I could no longer tell if I was numb or simply dead. Truth was... I was as good as dead. My body was alive, but I was a shell of a human being. I was empty and hollow. Terrifying voices filled my head and they kept getting louder until I was quite positive that I was going insane. But they wouldn't stop. They kept screaming inside my head, a bunch of words that I had to try really hard to distinguish from each other.
My name is Clove Raven. My home is district 2. I was a tribute in the 74th Hunger Games.
The wind was blowing my hair all over, making it go in my mouth and eyes and I didn't care. I stood in front of that train yet again, waiting for someone to come and physically move me, but with time I realized that would be pathetic. Clenching my fists and throwing one last look at the nothingness I was leaving behind, I took a big step and walked inside. As soon as I did, the door closed, letting me know just how little of control I had over every and any future aspect of my life as one of the Victors.
Victor.
How ridiculous it felt to be called one. How ridiculous I felt, knowing that what I'd done had nothing to do with that title. I was anything but victorious. I didn't feel any of the glory that I'd been promised. All those things I had once upon a time imagined I'd have once I've won the Hunger Games... Guess what? I had none of those things. I had nothing. I felt nothing. I was nothing.
My name is Clove Raven. My home is district 2. I am a Career. I volunteered as tribute for the 74th Hunger Games. I was forced to ally with tributes from district 11, 12 and 4. I am the lone survivor. I am a Victor.
Trying to breathe, though all I wanted was to stop, I walked in the direction of where I remembered I'd slept on my way to the Capitol a couple of weeks back which honestly felt like years. Before I was even halfway there, I stopped abruptly because I realized I was mistaken.
I wasn't alone on that train.
"Well hello, Knife Girl. Took you long enough,"
I watched his face break into a rather smug grin as soon as he saw me. He sat there, lonely with a glass of liquor in his hand that I couldn't care less to try and identify. His eyes were as empty and cold as I felt and for a split second that similarity was almost comforting. I guess I wasn't the only miserable one. I wasn't the only pathetic one. "Who the hell are you?" I decided to ask because I really wanted to know why someone had put that man on my train. I really wasn't in the mood for any company, especially not that guy, whoever he was. He pretended to be offended by my ignorance and slapped the hand that wasn't holding the glass against his chest.
"I thought you'd be familiar with all Capitol celebrities. Even the hated ones,"
Confused, I took a couple of steps towards him, focusing my eyes on his liquor bottle. I couldn't fool myself; I definitely wanted some. I needed some sort of release. Something to numb my body the same way my mind has been for days now.
"Help yourself," the man encouraged me with a smirk, waving his hand at the bottle. "I'll share gladly."
He didn't have to tell me twice. At once I grabbed myself a glass and poured some of the alcohol into it. I put it to my lips and the strong scent hit my nostrils, making me cough lightly and causing my eyes to water. I sensed the man smirking up at me but I ignored it. The only time I ever had alcohol was in the Arena when Cato had decided it'd be a good idea to give me vodka as a painkiller. The thought of him alone made me want to take another vast sip. I squeezed my eyes shut as I swallowed the hot as fire liquid and felt it burn my insides.
My name is Clove Raven... My home is district 2... I am a Career...
"Have a seat, Sharpy," Haymitch said, making the memory of Cato float to the back of my mind. Yet again I was almost overwhelmed with curiosity as to why he was even on the train with me. And so for once, ignoring his stupid nickname, I listened. I sat down in front of him and treated myself to a generous sip of the honey-colored liquid from my glass again. I winced immediately, feeling the now familiar burn going from the back of my throat down to my chest. I licked my lips and glanced up at the man, only now realizing I definitely had seen him around before.
"Now that you're all nice and comfy," the man drawled. "I guess we can have a talk." he drank from his glass without a wince and looked at me again with seriousness for the first time. "My name is Haymitch. I was Katniss and Peeta's mentor for the Games this year."
I choked again on my drink and decided it was time to put it away for a minute or two. That's where I knew him from. Haymitch. Haymitch Abernathy. The only living victor district 12 had. "Why are you here?" I asked, my frown only deepening. What the hell was going on?
"Why?" he echoed with raised eyebrows as if he couldn't believe that I hadn't figured that one out yet. He put his glass away and leaned forward. "I'm here, Clove because nobody else wanted to,"
My face relaxed and I found myself looking away, digesting that information. Of course. Enobaria wanted nothing to do with me. Brutus had never really shown much interest so he definitely wasn't going to try and change it now. Besides... I really messed up and everyone saw how much I've managed to anger Snow. No one would dare to put their lives on the line for me. Why would they? So that left me with only one question;
"Did they give you a choice?" I asked, sincerely curious. "Did they threaten you into replacing Enobaria?"
Haymitch laughed a dry laugh and shook his head. He grasped his glass once more and took another hearty swig from it. "Nah," he rasped. "I volunteered. Just like you," he added with an amused smirk. "I guess we've just become partners in crime, haven't we?"
He chuckled, somehow finding all of it really hilarious. It was probably the liquor he'd downed before I even got here; his bottle was already almost empty. "You know what's at stake here, right?" I questioned, expecting for him to just dismiss that with another laugh, but surprisingly, his smirk faded slightly and his eyes lost their sparkle.
"Of course," he said in a deep voice. "had you not done so well in the Games, trust me... I wouldn't have bothered."
I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to understand what he meant. I knew he couldn't give it to me straight; after all.. in Panem all walls have ears. "I see," was all I could respond with.
"First of all," he drawled, standing up, his legs a bit wobbly from all the alcohol. "I truly... appreciate your loyalty to my mentorees," he gulped the rest of his drink and stared down at me, his tired, wrinkled face wearing an expression of pure exhaustion and sorrow. "You have managed to earn my respect, which is not the easiest thing to do," he half-snorted, half-chuckled and I raised my eyebrows coldly. Well, the rumors couldn't be more correct; Haymitch Abernathy surely liked to drink. But then again, I couldn't really blame him. Not now, anyway. He'd lost Katniss and Peeta. I could tell they meant something to him, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered mentioning them.
"So let me get this straight," I said, watching him pour what was left in the bottle into his glass. "You are now the person that will chaperone my way through the victory tour?"
"Precisely," he nodded, holding up his drink as if making a toast. "Cheers to that,"
I stopped a groan from making it out of my mouth when I realized that he was better than nobody. And if he could provide me with liquor along the way then that would be at least one advantage of the situation and I wasn't going to complain. It seemed as though he was grateful for how I had played things out in the arena with District 12 so at least I could be sure he was on my side. "Is it just the two of us?"
"Well, you don't exactly have a whole lot of a prep team, but District 12's escort and stylist will be working with you, as well, so we got ya covered,"
"Why would any of them want to help me?"
By that point, Haymitch gawked at me with his eyes wide, just a tiny bit of amusement in them. "I'm sorry, did you not pay attention at all during the recaps? It shouldn't be a surprise now, should it?"
I frowned - it was. I still had no idea whatsoever how there was anyone that would want to help me out. Especially since I wasn't quite sure the purpose. Working with me could very quickly become a death sentence for anybody who dared to overstep. I knew that very well. Did they not?
"So," he drawled, suddenly more serious. "Wanna tell me what took you forever to get here?"
I had hoped so badly he wouldn't feel the need to ask me that question. Paralyzed, I stared at him with a fast growing lump in the back of my throat as a painful memory from only minutes before played in my head once again.
"Ready?" his hateful voice echoed in my ears and a sharp pain cut through my entire being. I no longer knew if it was an actual, physical pain or was it only in my head. I glared at him with hatred so intense it almost hurt. The door was now open and a Peacekeeper was inside, probably to make sure I wouldn't try anything stupid; like strangling Snow with my bare hands for instance. They were lucky that I'd been brought here for a specific reason. Otherwise, I would have sure tried to squeeze the life out of him.
One step. Two steps.
Slowly, I walked inside the dark room, the only source of light being the one from the hallway. I looked over my shoulder and saw the dark figure of Cornelius Snow, his face covered by the shadow. He stood there like a statue, unmoving and unfeeling. I took another few steps forward and almost shuddered when the thought of what was about to go down sunk in again. When nothing happened for another minute or so, I got tired and huffed;
"What the hell is this supposed to-"
"Clove?"
I froze. That voice. I sucked in a breath and stood there, paralyzed, waiting. It was him. It had to be him. Suddenly, in front of me, a set of bright lights were switched on and I saw him.
Cato.
Standing right in front of me. Alive. Looking unharmed and healthy aside from terrifyingly white face and bloodshot eyes. His lips parted in disbelief at seeing me alive, as well. I felt my mouth form itself into a small smile as I charged toward him only to learn there was a glass wall between us. I felt rage slowly filling my insides, as I realized they wouldn't even let me touch him. All I wanted was to make sure he was real. To be able to smell his scent, so familiar to me by now. I knew I would recognize his embrace and then, I'd know for sure that this was not some kind of a sick joke-
-wait. What if it was?
I took a huge step back and Cato's smiling eyes went concerned. "Clove?" he croaked and I sucked in a breath. "What-"
"What did I tell you?" I cut him off, my voice shaky. "The last time we saw each other... after Sasha stabbed me... what did I say?!"
He frowned, startled. And it made my heart sink. He should have realized immediately what I meant. The Capitol knows many tricks. If this was really Cato... he should know. My thoughts traveled back to the Arena. I remembered him hovering above me as the whiteness of my upcoming death surrounded me. I remembered how sure I was that I would die right then and there. I remembered how I told him he had to go; that he had to go find her. Find Rue. And leave me alone to bleed out. To finally leave this place. I remembered I'd asked him to come closer so I could tell him something nobody else should hear-
"What did I tell you, Cato!?" I exclaimed, losing the last bits of patience I had within me.
"Clove, what are you-"
"What did I tell you needed to happen right before you left me alone!? What did I whisper in your ear that the cameras did NOT catch!?-"
"SHE HAS TO WIN!" he yelled right back, effectively cutting my off and I stood there with my mouth open and eyes glistening. "You said..." he spoke softly now, placing his big hand on the glass wall. "She has to win,"
I let out a heavy breath. It was him. It was really him. Snow told the truth. He really had kept him alive. But the euphoria I felt at having found out my only friend was still with me evaporated as quickly as it came about. Because only then did I start realizing what this actually meant.
I held his life in my very hands. Anything I'd do or would not do could result in him suffering from it. This was why Snow had gotten him out of the arena to begin with. And what was even worse... I knew deep inside that he will never let him leave. He'll just keep him locked in here and taunt me anytime he wants; make me do things, say things I'll regret.
"Clove, are you hurt? Are you alright?"
His voice brought me back to this sad reality I was now stuck in. I swallowed hard and stepped closer to him, placing my hands up against the glass, as well. "Yeah," I breathed, licking my dry lips. "I'm fine. Are you?"
He didn't respond. Very confused, he put his other hand against mine and looked deep into my eyes, making me almost forget where I was. "What the hell happened, Clove?" he whispered and I panicked. I glanced to the side where Snow stood, and though Cato couldn't see him, he didn't need long to catch up. "Look at me," he asked, but for another few seconds, I kept my eyes fixed on the man, his white hair shimmering, as he stepped into the light to send me a very telling glare. He didn't have to say a word. I knew very well what it meant; I was not to reveal a thing. "Clove, look at me,"
With a heavy heart, I took my gaze off of Snow and glanced into Cato's eyes once more. He too was giving me a sort of emphatic look and I felt a sharp pain cut right through my heart. "You know how much I can take, don't you? You know what I can handle."
My breathing quickened. Of course I knew. I had seen him get badly injured time and again in the past. I knew that, if anything, physical pain was something he'd been taught to tolerate and get through no matter how bad it may get. But this was different. This would be me putting him at risk on purpose. For what? He didn't have to know about any of it. Not yet. Not when he was locked in here anyway. I'd give anything for the luxury of being oblivious. I shook my head and he huffed. "Tell me what's going on,"
"I can't," I choked out, sending him a pleading look. "I'm sorry but I can't,"
Cato cussed under his breath and walked away, turning his back on me, a troubled hand on the back of his head as he stood there, breathing heavily. I hoped he'd understand. I knew I would have a hard time myself had our roles been reversed. But he had to get it; the fact that I was only trying to protect him. That there was no need for him to find out and suffer for it. That we were both in hopeless positions as it was already. And I had no intentions to try and make it even worse.
His shoulders relaxed after a while and I let out a relieved sigh. It soon turned out though that I was very wrong to have assumed he'd just let it go. Before I knew it, he was storming back toward me, slapping both of his hands against the glass above his head as he glared down at me.
"Is it just the two of us?"
"Cato, I just-" I started but he was done with my excuses.
"Why are we both still alive? What happened to Rue?"
"Stop, I can't-" I tried again but every time I did, his voice would overpower mine.
"Has something happened in the districts? Why am I locked in here?!"
"Please, don't-"
"Who is the victor? How many days has it been? What'd they do to you!?"
"Cato, I can't say any-"
"God damn it, TELL ME!"
I shivered involuntarily and took a step back once more. He glared at me from behind that glass wall and I couldn't exactly say I blamed him for how mad he became. He'd been stuck in there for days without a clue about his whereabouts or why he was there in the first place. Confusion and rage surely had been his only friends before I came along. And now that I was here, I wouldn't give him any answers. Hell, I'd be furious too.
"Now that I've seen you alive, despite all the odds," I said, my lips just slightly trembling as I spoke. "The last thing you could make me do is give them another reason to hurt you." I continued, watching the rage in his eyes slowly fade away. "So no, Cato. I won't tell you a thing."
His eyes softened just slightly; I knew that my change of heart was a pretty new thing for him. He had never really heard me refer to him with something as degrading (in a Career's opinion) as concern before. Not even in the Arena, though my behavior pretty much spoke for itself.
He let out a raspy breath before leaning his forehead against the glass wall and I watched him with a lump in my throat. He looked so distraught. Still, so very angry with me for not sharing all the information. And so I pressed my head to the glass, right against his and said, "Listen to me," I whispered. And it was probably the softest sound I had ever let escape my mouth. "I don't have anyone else. It's just you. I don't have anybody but you. I know you're frustrated right now. I know you've been locked away from the world and have no idea what is going on. But Cato, after everything that has happened to us, I will die before I knowingly put you through any harm and that's what would happen if I told you anything right now. So go ahead and be mad if you want, I don't care,"
His glare only darkened and something deep within me did not take it as a good sign. I had no doubt at all that this was Cato. That this really was him. But something about him made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Something was not right. The way he looked at me was just slightly... off. Like there was some part of his old Career vicious self that stayed, which was something I was previously so sure he had gotten himself free from in the Arena. "Cato-"
"I did everything to try and save you back there," he choked out, moving back. "Everything in my power just to make sure you'll live. And this is how you repay me?"
I frowned, completely taken aback. Who was this person? He went from the Cato I remembered from the Arena to the one he probably used to be before I met him. "Did you hear what I just said-"
"I don't give a damn what they're going to do to me and truth be told, neither do you, Clove, so just quit this act and fucking tell me,"
My eyes widened in shock and I kept them that way until tears filled them. Cato glared at me intensely for another minute before blinking fast and pinching the bridge of his nose, as if he was in pain. "I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head. "I'm going crazy in here, I-" he put his hand on the back of his head again, in distress, and sent me a pleading look. "I didn't mean that,"
I watched him without a word, my heart going wild inside my chest. What had they done to him? I knew very well that the Capitol knew a thousand ways to manipulate someone's thoughts and provoke an unlikely behavior. Had he been tortured? Had they already hurt him?
"Hey," I whispered and he just turned his face away, as if too ashamed to look me in the eyes. "Cato, look at me," He swallowed hard and his hand went limp before he gazed at me once again, looking so helpless and full of regret. "I'm going to get you out of here," I promised and at once, I heard a Peacekeeper move towards me. "Just stay alive!" I added in a hurry before I felt my arm being harshly grabbed and I was forced back out in the hallway; Snow long gone.
"No, no, wait-!" Cato yelled after me, hitting the glass with his fists. "Don't touch her! Clove-!"
That was the last thing I heard. And then the door was shut close and I was left standing in front of it, staring at nothing, his voice still echoing in my head so realistically I almost thought I could still hear him;
"CLOVE!"
"Clove,"
I lifted my head and the memory of Cato faded instantly and there before me, sat a very baffled Haymitch Abernathy. His lips were moving and he was saying things to me that I could not care less about. The voices in my head took over once more;
My name... is Clove Raven. My home is district 2. I volunteered as tribute for the 74th Hunger Games... The rules were changed... Cato was not with me-
"Clove?"
I blinked quickly a couple of times and cleared my throat. It took me another minute to remember his question, but eventually I did.
"I needed to speak to Enobaria, but as you can imagine it was a huge waste of time," I lied, taking comfort in the fact that this man did not know me at all, thus it'd be very difficult for him to detect my dishonesty. Snow never upfront told me to keep my mouth shut about Cato but it was no rocket science - I knew very well that if I told someone I'd either get that person killed or Cato himself. So I didn't have to care for Haymitch to decide to keep quiet.
"Well," he drawled, sitting back. "Might as well get comfortable, Knives. We have a long journey ahead of us,"
I watched him down the rest of the liquor like it was juice and my body went numb. "Do you happen to have any more?" I asked without hesitation and he looked at me with amusement in his tired eyes.
"That was quick," he chuckled and I figured he was referring to my needing alcohol as soon as I got on this goddamn train back to my district. But I couldn't help myself; ever since Cato had given me vodka to ease my pain in the Arena, I've been craving this delicious indifference and numbness that it caused. Now that I knew how it worked, I couldn't really blame Haymitch whatsoever. "Here you go, 2," he growled, handing me a bottle with "rum" printed on it.
"Is that any good?" I asked with raised eyebrows and he grinned.
"Works just as well, trust me."
I nodded with a semi-smile sent his way before getting up and walking away from my now mentor. All I wanted was to drink all of this liquor I'd been given and hopefully forget who I was. At least for a few hours.
For just a couple of hours.
My name is Clove Raven. My home was district 2. I was a Career. Along with my partner, Cato Hawks, I was trained and then told to volunteer as tribute for the 74th Hunger Games. But the rules changed. I allied with others from district 11, 12 and 4. I had to watch them all die.
Up until today I thought I was the only survivor...
... but I'm not.
A/N: Hello everyone. As mentioned above, this story is a sequel to Mocking Games, a fanfic that I have quite recently completed. To those who have been following it and waiting for this one to be posted, I am sorry it took me longer than expected. I really hope that you liked this first chapter and if you have any suggestions or comments, please review or PM me. :) I am very excited to start another journey with you guys. Of course, I will try my best to update as soon as possible.
Hope everyone's been enjoying 2018 so far!
~ Joanna