The chairs arranged in a large circle began to fill one Wednesday morning in a conference hall in Paris, as a scrawny man, hired by the World Counsel, shifted anxiously in his own chair. He gave a small smile and nodded politely to all of the people entering, feeling incredibly intimidated and nervous.
Rodney Hunt had been called in to assist nation leaders with their countries. As many of England's Members of Parliament had said, the overwhelming sexual tension must be solved, and a world counseling session had been agreed upon.
The prospects of dealing with the actual nations themselves, rather than just the leaders was never-racking, but regardless, there he was, only minutes away from starting.
Rodney looked down at his chart and then around the room. Everyone had assigned seats, since precautions had to be made to prevent the out-break of war due to possibility that someone's clothes might touch another's chair leg on purpose. On his left was the name tag for "Alfred F. Jones," and one seat from whatever nation Alfred was, resided a bored looking man, called Arthur Kirkland, who Rodney assumed was England, based off his accent he had when he greeted Rodney. To his right, all the seats were filled. He felt as if he was being gossiped about, since most of what he heard was German, or at least Germanic languages, languages he didn't understand.
At last two seats remained empty. The room was awkwardly quite, sans the soft muttering on his right. He leaned over to Arthur, who was checking his watch repeatedly.
"Excuse me…Mr. Kirkland?"
Green eyes flicked over to Rodney's face.
"Yes?"
"Do you know where a Mr. Jones and Bonnefoy might be?"
Arthur let out a half amused huff.
"Who knows. Mucking about in the corridor no doubt."
And, as if on queue, the doors opened once again and two more men stumbled through, laughing and exchanging humoured glances. Arthur tapped his watch, pursing his lips.
"Where the hell were you two? You're late."
"Only by a few minutes, Artie. Chill, you'll be fine."
Arthur frowned as the other two took their seats on either side of him.
Rodney finally cleared his throat and stood.
"Uh, hello everybody!"
He projected his voice so the whole room could hear.
"As you probably don't know, I'm Rodney Hunt, your counselor for today and we will be discussing something your leaders thought was important: Sex."
The room's silence broke as nations were either taken aback or became suddenly outraged.
"Now, now, everyone settle down. We don't have a whole lot of time today, so I want to get straight to it with an icebreaker exercise. I want to go around the room and have everyone list some things they look for in a bed partner and their number one sexual fantasy. Everyone will get a turn, don't worry. And we are all adults here, so don't hold back."
Rodney turned his head as a man stood up, raising his hand.
"Erm, yes, sir? Can you please introduce yourself?"
The man, who had a "no-nonsense" air about him, spoke.
"Vash Zwingli, Switzerland, and no, Mr. Hunt, we are not all adults here. Lili isn't."
Rodney saw the young girl sitting next to where Vash sat.
"O-Oh…Well- "
A beautiful brunette woman in a finely tailored dress interrupted Rodney, standing.
"Oh, let her stay Vash! It'll be good for her, and I'm sure she has feelings about all this too."
Vash, not arguing with her, returned to his seat, leaning over to whisper into Lili's ear as the woman took her seat again. Rodney remembered himself.
"Okay then…shall we get started? Who'd like to go first?"
His eyes searched around the room. He knew that he'd have problems finding someone to go first, it was always like this.
"Anyone?"
The obnoxious man he now recognized as America piped up.
"I say Artie goes first!"
Arthur turned his head to glare at the other.
"Me? Why don't you? You're always on about being the first and the hero."
The rest of the room seemed to agree, making Alfred almost shrink back a bit.
"F-Fine! I can handle it! That's what the great U. S. of A will do!"
Rodney settled back into his seat.
"Okay, Mr. Jones, what are qualities you look for in a bed partner or someone you are romantically involved with?"
Alfred puffed his chest out, folding his arms behind his head and laying back in his chair, flashing white teeth.
"Well, they have to be attractive of course. Not as hot as me though, since my self esteem is usually on the low side."
The rest of the countries chucked quietly. Rodney tried to smile along, trying not to show his slight frustration at the American's sarcasm.
"And probably athletic…good endurance, ya know?"
Rodney spoke up.
"How about emotionally?"
"Emotionally? I dunno…definitely not all attach-y or whatever."
He shot a quick look at who Rodney assumed was Mexico.
"Enthusiasm is good I guess, then again, who wouldn't be excited about tappin' this? But as long as I could top 'em, I'm cool."
The nations all exchanged laughs, finding Alfred amusing, or raised eyebrows at him. Rodney nodded.
"That's all good, Mr. Jones. And your fantasy?"
This time Alfred paused.
"And I ask you to be honest as possible here."
The room waited.
"Well, to be honest, I think it'd be totally hot if someone were to suck me off while I played Call of Duty."
The room bust into hysterics, and Alfred, while turning slightly red, tried to laugh along.
Rodney got their attention again.
"That's very interesting, Mr. Jones. Is there anyone in particular you have in mind?"
"To do what?"
"'Suck you off.'"
"Oh…Well, no, not really."
Rodney flipped back a page on his clip board that had notes leaders had left him.
"You and Mr. Kirkland are close, wouldn't you say?"
Alfred narrowed his eyes and Arthur leaned forward, doing the same.
"Yes…"
"What if he were to do it?"
Everyone was quiet as Arthur leapt from his seat in protest.
"What? Don't just assume shit!"
The Frenchman tugged him back into his seat, trying to silence the outraged man. Alfred stared at Rodney with his mouth hanging a little slack.
"Mr. Jones?"
"Oh, Er…I dunno, man…I guess it doesn't really matter who is doin' it, as long as they do it right, know what I mean?"
Alfred seemed to snap back, grinning again and making vulgar hip movements.
Rodney took notes.
"Very interesting, Mr. Jones. Who's next?"
Ohohoho! Here's a fun fic for you all! I thought I'd start out with our hero here.
YOU tell ME who should be the next country to admit their fantasty. Ready set go!
PLEASE Review! I love hearing from you guys, it's awesome! Thanks for reading and stay tuned!