DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything.

this font means flashback

"Kirino you wanted to talk to me?" I asked slightly surprised at the excitement of her voice over the phone when she called me after school. She had her back to me, swaying her hips ever so gently; her head tilted slightly downwards facing the ground. Her head perked up upon hearing my voice, she turned over and shot me a huge grin her large round orbs got even bigger, only serving to make her that much cuter, if it's even possible. Yeah… my little sister is this cute.

"What are you staring at pervert!" she seethed, walking up to me, standing on her toes she tried to meet me at eye level but she was still short of a few inches.

"Uhh nothing." Laughing nervously. I wanted to say sweet nothings to her but it would never fit the mood, and I'm just not the type of guy to say such a thing I guess, although there's always that urge every time I see her cute little face.

She crossed her arms and studied me carefully, her stern scolding yet playful look changed to one of nervousness after a few quiet seconds.

"Huh what's wrong?"

"I was thinking of… being more open about our relationship." She turned to the side and nodded her head a few times as if she was a new person agreeing with what was just said.

"What? Seriously?" this is surprising, my sister who hides her eroge from even her closest of friends, suddenly want to be more open with something far more taboo?

"I-I just want to walk outside openly holding hands, be romantic you know! That's what every girl wants and umm… kiss…" her eyes dashed to the side avoiding my gaze completely.

"I… I don't think I'm ready for that yet… let's wait a bit okay?"

"Why you don't want to be seen with me!?" she demanded, her voice would usually rise a few levels from anger if she was still the same bitchy girl as two years ago but she's much more warm and understanding towards me now.

"Isn't it fine as it is?" I faked a few chuckles, finding my hand scratching my head from nervousness.

"Do you ever see a public relationship between us?" she glared at me but it wasn't one of anger rather a studious one, but she quickly turned away when she caught sight of me staring back at her.

I wanted to lie and say yes, but seriously I am probably the second master of normal, second only to Manami. To say that I ever see a normal functioning open relationship between me and my little sister would be a straight up lie. I have always been honest with Kirino and I don't see a reason to change now.

"Honestly no, but isn't this fine? Fine as it is?

Kirino turned to look at me her expression was one of pain, did I say something wrong? I didn't think I did. She ran off…

"Hey Kirino wait!" I screamed after her but she was far too quick. Maybe if I kept up with my running practices when I was a kid…if only.

Staring at the white puffy clouds floating lazily in the summer's blue, Kirino's voice just kept repeatedly resonating in my head. What she said I couldn't get out of my head.

"It's because of you! You were my drive for success…idiot."

It wouldn't be my little sister without her firing an insult after every sentence regardless of the situation. I contemplated with a sigh. Looking back I didn't even realize how much of a positive influence I was to Kirino, but now of course I knew better.

It actually has been a while since I confessed to her during that Christmas night. I removed all my dignity when I shouted as passionate as I could, that I loved Kirino; that I wanted to marry her. It was unacceptable and we both knew that. We made it work, in secrecy of course. Only our closest friends knew and for a while it was perfect albeit weird, Kirino and to an extent myself were not really used to a sibling romantic relationship in the flesh. Sadly every good thing has to come to an end…

My father got more and more involved with Kirino's life, as a protective father should when his daughter is getting older and getting to the age where boys starts to get really really interested especially with a girl as gorgeous as my little sister. He has always been protective of her so that wasn't a surprise but what was a surprise is when my father actually got involved in her modeling career.

Even now I recall the conversation as if it was a video recorder forever replaying, the words and vivid images of our dinner table haunting me.

"I spoke to your modeling agent; she told me that you have a great opportunity in America."

"I already turned that down." Kirino would explain in the best defiant look she could muster, but not in a disrespectful way of course.

"It's not Misaki." My father voice suddenly turned stern, it was a signal that he was not in the mood to argue. We both knew when to shut up when we heard that voice, the only time I actually still spoke out against him when he used that voice is when I was fighting for Kirino's rights to keep her secret otaku collections.

"Who have you been talking to?" Kirino's voice raised in an accusatory tone.

"I have connections. The money that is offered there could be as high as 100,000 USD if you make it big and a free scholarship to any college of your choice. With your academics it would be foolish to not accept such an offer!" father slammed his heavy fist on the table shaking the plates, I recall glancing over to our mother who wore a similar stern look as our father… Kirino was already getting teary eyed at that point. But none spilled; no she was too strong of a person for that.

Father cleared his throat before pushing a plane ticket to Kirino. "I have already booked your flight, the decision has been made and it's final. This is for your future."

"How can you do such a thing without asking me first!"

"What's the problem here? It's not like you haven't studied abroad before! Last I check you were excited to go to America, so what's wrong with going again? Have you got a boyfriend!?" Father's voice rose accusingly at the word boyfriend, in fact he was basically seething. I recall musing at the fact that he remembered the fake boyfriend Kirino brought home which probably fuelled his anger.

It all happened so fast that before I knew it I assured Kirino I would fight for her rights to stay until the very end, with the same confidence I had as when I was a kid… the same confidence that drove her to become who she was.

But then something unexpected happened… She grabbed my hand and beckoned me back into her room; she stared straight into my eyes with her big sapphire orbs which are now glassy from tears threatening to spill. "No." she said.

"Don't."

Lost for words, I stared back at her. Hard. Trying to read what she's thinking, looking for any signs of emotions but all there was, was utter despair. So it isn't a joke? She's serious about not wanting me to talk to father.

"Why?" was all my raspy voice could muster.

Over the course of our relationship, I grew extremely attached to my little sister Kirino, a much deeper relationship than normal siblings. Now that I thought about it, I would never in my life back then, sound as pathetic and helpless as I am now over hearing my little sister, leaving me… and this time perhaps for good.

"Father told me the modeling agency has a prestigious high school as well as a full scholarship to Cornell… but… the schedule would be relentless and I doubt I can really come back with schooling and modeling to worry about. I thought about it and it isn't that bad. I mean I did like America when I went over for study abroad and I could see Ria again and the fashion there is amazing and-"

I didn't let her finish, I pulled her into a hug, repeating the only word that came to my mind. "Why?"

Kirino pushed me off and with a rebuking face she slapped me hard snapping my face to the side. "Idiot! From the start you already knew our relationship would never work out, we lied to everyone and lived in secrecy for a few months, but do you really think we can keep this up forever!? You live in a fantasy world Kyousuke! You always wanted the best for me and that's what I love about you… but what if I told you this is what's best for me?"

My eyes widened in disbelief, lost for words I just kept a dumbfounded look at my beautiful Kirino's face, her blue orbs flared with passion.

Then I started feeling rage boiling inside. All this time all I cared for was about Kirino's happiness, whether she was just my little sister or my lover, all I wanted was her happiness, I disregarded everything about myself, I threw myself out there for her. Not once did I feel she returned such kindness, sure she was grateful, sure she loved me as both a brother and a lover but the relationship was weaved through my sacrifice.

"Kirino, why do you always drive to be successful! Why can't you just be content with what you have! Can't you just be happy with me!" I can't believe I screamed back at her, my parents were downstairs, they probably heard me but I didn't care at that point. My heart was on overdrive and it took the pilot seat from my brain. I felt hot fresh tears streaming down my face, mimicked by my sister that only caused more emotions to boil outwards.

"I sacrifice everything for this to work! Why… why can't you put some work into it…?" my voice came out weak. My shoulders slumped in defeat as I swayed my head to the side looking at nothing in particular.

"It's because of you! You were my drive for success…idiot." She mumbled before walking out the room slamming the door behind her.

Well now that I think about it… It couldn't possibly be that bad right? I could live a normal life again. One that is accepted by society… as much as I wanted to convince myself that I didn't care what my peers think of me it still is the main reason me and Kirino dated in secrecy.

I made sure to see my sister go, luckily there weren't any teary good byes, she gave all her friends and father, mother a hug of good byes, promising to keep in contact. She hugged me a bit longer than the others, perhaps a lot longer if I didn't push her off. I honestly didn't know why I did; perhaps it was anger from yesterday. But whatever it was I sure as hell regretted it. Seeing her eyebrows slumped while her cerulean orbs going glassy made my heart wrench, thankfully it was only for a brief moment before she went back to her confident self. Waving one last good bye to us all she left for the taxi. Sighing I hope this isn't the last I get to see of my little sister.