Hey guys! I'm back with another oneshot for you.
Over on the TDWF, I was dared by friend Epic Hobo Chuck to write a Trent oneshot based on the scenario I had used for a truth to another person. The scenario I used was the first verse of Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf… Yeah. This is gonna be a strange one.
It was hard to write this in 3rd person. I kept trying to write this in second person, though can you blame me?
Disclaimer: I, mB13, do not own Total Drama in any way. Sadly, I was also not any part of the production of Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf, the masterpiece it was.
Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf
Trent was walking through the woods, trying to figure out the perfect spot for his picnic with Gwen the next day. He was all by himself in hopes of keeping it a surprise.
He checked his phone to see what time it was, since it appeared to be getting darker. When he looked, however, his phone turned out to be dead.
Trent looked to his right, and he saw something out of the corner of his eye.
He saw a very strange sight.
He saw Shia LaBeouf.
Trent hastily starts to walk away, creeped out by this encounter.
Shia LaBeouf starts to crawl out of the bush on all fours and starts chasing after Trent in a sprint. He starts gaining on Trent.
Trent starts running even faster in a desperate attempt to find his car, but his attempt is in vain, and he finds himself hopelessly lost.
Shia LaBeouf has almost completely caught up to him, and Trent decides to look behind him and get a glimpse of Shia LaBeouf's face,
He then regrets it. Shia's face is covered in blood. Trent instantly thought "My God, there's blood everywhere!"
Trent was running for his life from Shia LaBeouf. Shia was brandishing a knife, so it's not like Trent had any choice of he wanted to live.
Trent ducks behind a tree for a moment, Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf lurking in the shadows around him.
Trent remembers something he had seen on the news. It was a video of Shia LaBeouf in the woods about two years prior. It showed his cabin, and pictures of the many things he had killed in those very woods. Many of those things he'd killed were humans. Shia himself made the video, and in it he'd said things like how he would kill for sport, and how he would always eat all the bodies.
"Holy shit," He thought. "I'm running from actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf."
It was even darker than before, almost pitchblack, when Trent had finally seemed to have lost him. Sadly, Trent was lost himself.
Stranded in the woods with a murderer, Trent crept silently through the underbrush.
In his head, he started celebrating. He'd spotted a small cottage with its light on in the distance. Filled with newfound hope, Trent stealthily moved towards it.
Then, he felt something sharp in his leg, and silently yelped in pain. He looked down and saw that his leg was caught in a bear trap.
Trent gnaws off his leg like the blue guy in Happy Tree Friends did, and it finally comes off.
He limps towards the cottage, and after a few minutes, he reached the doorstep. He looked through a window, and sitting inside of the house was Shia LaBeouf, sharpening an ax.
He went unnoticed to the cannibalistic celebrity when he opened the door and entered the cabin. Trent somehow snuck up behind Shia LaBeouf with his 1.5 legs and strangled him. He fought for his life with that creep, even going as far as wrestling a knife from him. The fight finally ended when Trent stabbed Shia in the kidney.
Trent limped back into the dark woods, blood oozing from his stump leg. He has won. He has beaten Shia LaBeouf.
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Wait! He isn't dead! Shia surprise!
The cannibalistic motherfucker himself came out of the corner, revealing to Trent that he wasn't dead. The freak held a gun to Trent's head, death glinting in his eyes. Trent suddenly remembered that he knew Jiu Jitsu.
He body slammed Shia LaBeouf, although that wasn't part of the Jiu Jitsu. That was more because he knew it would her that creepy little shit. It was a legendary fight. Trent remembered what Shia had said on the video on the news; "This sort of thing is a normal Tuesday for me."
Trent tried to swing an ax at the man-creature, but the blood was draining quickly from his stump leg.
That sick little fucker dodged every swipe Trent made, parrying to the left. Trent countered to the right, and caught Shia in the neck. Trent chopped off his head. The realization finally dawned on Trent. He had decapitated Shia LaBeouf.
The mofo's head toppled to the floor, expressionless. Trent fell to his knees and caught his breath. He was finally safe from Shia LaBeouf.
This was going to be a hell of a lot of explaining to give Gwen.
So, how was that? Was it as odd and gory as I think it is?
Jonathan, dude, just remember one thing: Never make me do this again. This was just weird writing.
So guys, R&R, follow and favorite. And remember, guests can review too! I used to be a guest reviewer, you know.
That's all for now. Bye!