Trick or Treat

A Doctor Who Fan fiction

Opening the doors of the TARDIS, Clara entered the bigger-on-the-inside machine. Upon entering, she noticed the Doctor, hunched over the TARDIS console, and occasionally scratching his old, grey hair in confusion. Soon enough, the Time Lord spun around, holding a small Jack-o-Lantern basket used for Trick or Treating.

"Clara," the Doctor began, "do you know just what this is?" He left the console, gaiting up the stairs, and shoved the cheap plastic pail in Clara's face. Recoiling slightly, she reached out and inspected it.

"Doctor, I think this is a Trick or Treating pail, nothing special. How did this get here?"

The Doctor soon appeared perplexed. "Trick... Treating... What are you possibly talking about?" Clara gazed at him in bewilderment, and dropped the pail to approach him closer.

"Why is this here?" Clara asked again.

"I went out on the streets one night, looked around a bit. I found one of these just laying on the ground, and I decided that I must investigate it. Now, tell me what this Tricky Treaty thing is."

"How do you... a two thousand year old alien, knowing so much about human culture, not know what Trick or Treating is?!

"Well," continued the Doctor, "aren't you going to tell me?"

Clara gave a deep sigh and began to explain. "It's part of Halloween, and children do it every year, on October 31st.

"Hallo...ween?"

Appearing more exasperated, Clara continued. "Children on Earth go around house to house every year on October 31st, wearing costumes, and they knock on the doors. The person at the door opens the door, the kids say, "Trick or Treat!", and they get candy. There, happy?!"

Backing up slowly, to the console, the Doctor appeared to be inspired. He soon started rushing around the console, pushing this and pulling that, much to the bafflement of Clara.

"This, Trick or Treating, as you call it, sounds fascinating. Even though it seems like such a waste to give away free candy, it just might make sense." He paused momentarily, before resuming his frantic rushing about, exclaiming, "I must experiment with this!"

"What... what are you doing?"

The TARDIS had just come to a complete stop. "Here we are," the Doctor started, "October 31st, 2014. Clara, go to the storage closet, see if I have any pillowcases leftover."

"Pillowcases?" Replied Clara, rather confused.

"Yes, pillowcases! I'm going to need to store all the candy to study it later on!"

Clara begrudgingly agreed, "Fine, I'll get your stupid pillowcase," she said, as she hurried off to the storage closet. Upon arrival, she gazed around and rummaged through the stockpiled, dusty items used beforehand. She continued to search until a voice rang out through the TARDIS.

"Clara! I... I need help! What am I supposed to do?!" Clara, now almost fed up with the Doctor's nonsense, rushed back up the stairs, and out of the doors, only to find several kids walking down a street with several houses, and one house right in front of the TARDIS with a grey haired, 2000 year old alien at it's doorstep. The door to the house was open, and a sweet old lady was handing out candy to the children that night. She too appeared baffled by the Doctor's antics, more so than Clara was. Clara furiously approached the door, and stood next to the Doctor.

"Alright Clara, I knocked on the door. Now what do I do?"

"You say Trick or Treat!" Clara replied, changing her tone of voice to an angrier one.

"Oh alright. Trick... or Treat... do you want a Trick or a Treat?"

"No! You ask the lady Trick or Treat, and SHE gives YOU a Treat!"

The old lady spoke up, "Don't be so rough on this lad right here. He's been ever so kindly, and just look at his adorable handyman costume!"

"Handyman costume?!" Clara had just now realized what the Doctor had been wearing. He was holding his pumpkin in one hand with a whisk and a toilet plunger in the other, was wearing a hard hat with a flashlight strapped to it, and a shirt that appeared to have ping pong balls that were cut in half and glued to the fabric.

"Oh no..." Clara began, "Please don't tell me you went Trick or Treating as a Dalek..."

"Well of course I did," the Doctor replied, "isn't it obvious? It's a pretty scary costume, isn't it?"

"What on earth is a Dalek?" the old lady asked inquisitively.

The Doctor paused, and gradually leaned in, and spoke with a menacing tone of voice, "A Dalek is your worst nightmare. It will destroy you and everyone you have ever loved, and they are out there, and maybe, if you don't give me my rightfully earned piece of candy, I will find one, and send it here just so I can watch it exterminate you... I will delight in it ransacking your property and treating you to a slow ant tormentful demise, and as it shouts, EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! I will just laugh, and watch as you suf-"

The Doctor was just attempting to finish his sentence when he was met with a fairly hard slap from the old lady and a slammed door. Clara was quite amused at the situation.

"Wow... just wow... Doctor, why don't you go wait in the TARDIS, okay?"

"Fine, I'll do it. Just hold on." Clara knocked on the door, as the old lady slowly opened it, quite cautiously.

"I'm... I'm sorry about my friend there. He just got worked up about Trick or Treating for the first time and he's a really nice guy but someti-"

Clara was suddenly interrupted by a loud cry of, "GIVE ME YOUR BAG OF CANDY RIGHT NOW!" She turned around and saw the Doctor attempting to wrestle a child, around 7 years old, out of his rather large bag of candy.

"It's my bag! Give it back!" the child whined.

"Oh, don't be so stupid! For all you know, the future of the human race could depend on you giving me that bag of candy right there!"

Clara and the lady stared at the Doctor heaving on the bag as the child attempted to fight back, until the lady spoke up. "That's your really nice guy?", and she slammed the door once again.

Clara had had enough. "DOCTOR!" she yelled at the top of her lungs, causing the Doctor to drop the bag of candy, and the kid to run away in tears.

"What? You were the one who introduced me to Trick or Treating? Why can't I do this for once? I wanted to find out about this holiday, the traditions, what people think of it..."

"Really?" Clara replied, "or did you just want to get some free candy?"

The Doctor now had a rather guilty look on his face, as he said, "Ummm... yes..."

"You terrified an old lady half to death, attempted to rob a young child out of his rightfully owned candy, and have been lying to me just to get candy?"

"Pretty much..."

Clara let out a long, drawn out sigh. "Fine. Why don't we go to the supermarket, and get you some candy."

"You'll be paying for it, right?" This statement earned the Doctor a rather dirty look from Clara.

"Okay, okay, just asking."

Clara, after all of this, thought to herself, "Why did I even tell him what that pail was? You know what? I'm just going to embrace the awkwardness. Let's just get some candy and then get out of here."

She then said, under her breath, "Sometimes I really hate that man."