Author : Skye. [tommykayketchup//Skuzzeh]
Disclaimer : I don't own Skins or anything I write about.
Notes:
Sometimes; to adhere to Fanfiction rules, I've had to edit my stories - to see unedited versions of any of my fics please check my livejournal page; skuzzeh.
The predominantly main character in this fic is Effy– every second chapter will be from Effy's point of view; other character chapters will appear at various times.
Chapter One; Effy
I don't really understand how it happened.
I guess…it just did.
I didn't mean for it to.
But I regret it everyday of my life.
I don't know what possessed me.
It was like…I wasn't me.
Like I was rising above my own body, and watching myself act like that.
It's like when you watch these weird movies where the person dies, and floats above themselves…
Well. It was sort of like that.
But I wasn't dead…
I know, I know.
I'm not making much sense.
It was just…something was controlling me.
Like an urge…
I was sat down opposite him.
He was scratching his beard, and he gave me another one of his looks.
The same kind of look I perfected throughout my own childhood.
I know what he's thinking; that I'm just another one of those freaks.
To him, I'm the same type of person that he sees day in and day out.
I'm just another person with yet another problem.
But it's not like that...
At least, I don't think it is.
I don't deserve to be here.
Well, maybe I do...
I don't even know anymore.
I don't know why I ran.
Running was the easiest thing to do.
I was afraid of the consequences.
The reactions of my friends, my family…
Or what's left of my family, at least
He scribbled something down on his notepad.
I tried to squint and read his handwriting but it was hardly legible.
'You know how this works. The terms of your community service means you have to forego mental analysis until I see fit to sign you off…which means you have to open up.'
I nodded my head slightly.
I knew what I had to do.
I had to tell the truth; the truth that had burnt into my sleep every night.
The reason for my nightmares; the sole reason, I gave myself in.
The reason I stopped running.
'I…I had to leave...that's why…I ran.'
I jumped at the sound of my own voice.
I didn't expect myself to break the silence.
I hadn't said a word to him since I arrived, a whole week and a half ago.
It wasn't hard to do.
I could feel his eyes locked on mine.
He was trying to understand me; trying to become me, if only for a minute.
Trying to discover, why I did what I did…and why I really ran.
I met my eyes with his.
Feeling another sudden rush of confidence, I added to my first statement.
'I didn't mean to…I'm not…I'm not a violent person…I just…'
'Let's go back to the night of the incident…tell me everything, Elizabeth.'
His voice was soothing.
I felt like I could tell him anything.
Like, I should tell him.
Should I?
'I didn't mean to hurt her…'
It comes out of my mouth without me intending it to.
My body seems to be working against me.
I feel the tears against my cheek.
I didn't intend that either.
Nor the shaking of my hands.
Maybe it's time, I opened up.
Maybe, it really is time, I told the truth.
Thank you for reading.
Please leave a review; the more I get the more tempted I am to write more. :)