Sollux had been sitting at his desk with his laptop in front of him for a few hours now now trying to figure out what to write for his essay.

The kitchen was pretty much like a normal kitchen, but no dishwasher, so they needed to handwash the dishes. Yeah, okay, the kitchen was smaller than 'normal' kitchens and not nearly enough cupboard or fridge space for his personal liking.

The bathroom was simple; a toilet, a sink with cabinet for storage, a mirror that could be opened up for storage, and a bathtub with shower with curtains, a bathtub mat draped over the side of the tub. A closet was also involved for towels and facecloths.

The living room had a nicely-sized TV with a pretty shitty couch and his 'gaming pillow' on the floor in front of the couch. Who sits on the couch while playing games? Speaking of games, Sollux already had all his gaming systems hooked up to it, his videogames kept by their consoles. Hopefully the roommate wouldn't find them or mess them up.

His old roommate had been kicked out for, well, he was in the dark for the reason... nonetheless, he was expecting his new roommate any minute now.

'I hope this one will be decent and pay close attention to the god damn rules, not ask about my 3D glasses, not mock my lisp, and respect my personal space because I would much rather not slap them.' Sollux thought to himself and decided to check his Facebook messages since he couldn't even get the first word out to the document. 'Oh look, KK's online.'

Karkat Motherfucking Vantas:

SO, HOW'S YOUR NEW ROOMMATE?

Sollux Captor:

oh, good, con2iideriing they haven't arriived yet.

and ii per2onally hope that they never arriive.

Karkat Motherfucking Vantas:

YEAH, LET'S HOPE. WE BOTH HOPE THEY DON'T COME AT ALL.

WE REMEMBER WHAT THE LAST ONE WOULD LIKE.

GOD FORBID YOU GET STUCK WITH ANOTHER DOUCHEBAG WHO INVADES YOUR SPACE AND STEALS EVERY HONEY-FLAVORED THING IN THE ROOM.

Sollux Captor:

iif they do that, they miight not wake up the next morniing.

Karkat Motherfucking Vantas:

WOW, YOU'RE VIOLENT.

OH, AND GUESS WHO MY ROOMMATE IS.

Sollux Captor:

we both know that no one would a22iign you a roommate, KK.

Karkat Motherfucking Vantas:

EXACTLY.

I HAVE NO ROOMMATE.

HOW LUCKY AM I?

Sollux Captor:

ii hate you.

ii wii2h ii could be 2o lucky.

waiit, ii heard the door open.

fuck.

ii thiink they're here.

ii gue22 ii 2hould go and 'greet' them.

ii really don't want two do thii2.

Karkat Motherfucking Vantas:

GOOD LUCK, CAPTOR!

Sollux rolled his eyes and could almost hear Karkat's laugh through the laptop's speakers. He logged off of Facebook and stood up to face his newroommate.

'Fuck. No, fuck no.' he thought to himself and made a face at his new roommate.

"Hey Sol. I guess I'm your neww roommate noww. You must be lucky to be wwith me," Eridan grinned as he moved his various suitcases and other bags to the empty bed.

"Yeth, I feel tho lucky to be in your prethence, ED. Read the ruleth that are on the fridge and don't touch me. I'm trying to work on my eththay-"

"And howw wwell is that goin' for you, Sol?" he interrupted, only to get a slight growl from Sollux.

"Do not interrupt me while I'm thpeaking, or I thwear I-"

"Sol, you knoww you wwon't do shit," Eridan laughed as he began to casually put away his clothes, books, laptop, and went to the bathroom to put away all his stupid hair products.

Sollux logged back into Facebook and brought up the chat between Karkat and himself.

Sollux Captor:

KK.

ii ju2t met my new roommate.

Karkat Motherfucking Vantas:

WHO IS IT?

Sollux Captor:

our wor2t niightmare.

take a gue22 from that hiint.

Karkat Motherfucking Vantas:

AMPORA?

Sollux Captor:

unfortunately, ye2.

Karkat Motherfucking Vantas:

SERIOUSLY?

HOLY FUCK!

YOU'RE SO LUCKY TO HAVE HIM!

Sollux Captor:

diid ii do 2omethiing bad two have thii2 happen two me?

ii'm 2eriiou2, what have ii done?

Sollux felt a weight on his back suddenly and groaned. "Ampora. I will give you one chance to get off or I will make you have female partth..." he snarled.

Eridan just pouted. "But that wwasn't vvery nice to say about me, Sol. Is that wwhat you really think about me?"

Karkat Motherfucking Vantas:

YOU WERE BORN.

IF YOU WEREN'T BORN, THIS SHITHEAD WOULDN'T BE ASSIGNED TO BE YOUR ROOMMATE.

For fuck sake, Sollux heard the laughing again. And now the laughing was coming from the mouth of the one leaning on his back and nearly deafened him. This was going to be hell, wasn't it?

Sollux tried to type a response, managing to actually get his arms to move despite the asshole of a roommate squishing his upper body.

Sollux Captor:

2hut the fuck up.

ii'm gettiing kiilled here.

Karkat Motherfucking Vantas:

HOW ARE YOU BEING KILLED?

DON'T EVEN TRY TO DIE ON ME, CAPTOR.

Sollux Captor:

he ii2 u2iing my back a2 2ome 2ort of mattre22.

my back miight ju2t break underneath hii2 fat a22.

"Get off, Ampora!" Sollux groaned, trying a little harder to get out from underneath the weight of his new roommate. He swore his back was already bending to the point of wanting to snap in two.

Eridan just shook his head. "Make me get off, Sol," he snickered.

Sollux Captor:

ii'll talk two you later.

ii have 2omethiing two liiterally get off my back.

Karkat Motherfucking Vantas:

ARE THE TWO OF YOU GOING TO HAVE A FEELINGS JAM OR SOMETHING?

FINE, HAVE FUN.

Sollux Captor:

you have no iidea how much fun ii wiill have wiith gettiing hiim off my back.

Sollux managed to move his arms enough to log off of his Facebook and closed his laptop slowly before he shoved his chair back; causing Eridan to fall off his back. "Fucking aththhole. I warned you to get off my back and you didn't lithten."

"Wwell, maybe it's because you're just so borin' to listen to and your rules on personal space are wweird and there's no reason to listen to you," he groaned as he rubbed the back of his head. Obviously planning on doing something else to piss off the computer nerd.

"Are you thhure there'th no reathon to lithten to me? Becauthe there are multiple reathonth you need to lithten to me. And trutht me, you don't want to know what I am capable of and you never will know what I am capable of," Sollux replied with a flat face before he stood up to go to the kitchen and looked in the fridge.

This is hell and he could only imagine it getting worse from then on.