Kitsune no Uchi
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!
In which Hidan and Kisame stay in the company of a strange ninja.
"Jashindammit! This water's fucking cold!" An angry voice rang out into the night.
"Quiet you idiot! You're gonna get us caught!" Hissed a much softer voice anxiously. A beam of light blinded both men, and a small woman with brown hair and gold eyes was perched on the pool ladder, reminiscent of a curled up cat. She studied them with much curiosity. Kisame growled threateningly at his temporary partner.
"What are you two doing in my pool?" She asked them. Her voice was bright and friendly, and held two distinct undercurrents to Kisame's well-trained ears. The first was one of perpetual laughter, the second was-
"We were trying to fucking get clean! There was no hotels in this Jashin-forsaken wilderness." Hidan informed her belligerently, as he climbed up the ladder, and grabbed her down.
"Hidan wait no!" Kisame shouted, but too late with a loud sploosh! Their cloaks were drenched. Far from being angry, the girl laughed merrily.
"Oh a shower! Well why didn't you just say so?" She asked, "You can come take a shower at my house while you wait for your clothes to dry if you like." She leaped out of the pool light and fast, her quick movements reminiscent of both an animal and shinobi.
Kisame was instantly suspicious.
"Why would you help us?" Kisame asked following the foolish woman inside, as he and Hidan emptied their cloaks and put them in the dryer. Before she could answer his question, Hidan asked one of his own.
"What the hell kind of a headband is that?" He asked, poking her headband.
Kisame scrutinized the headband, it was certainly one he'd never seen before. The headband had two sharp points, like a pair of ears, and the kanji for Roaming on it.
"Mmm? I come from a clan of freelancing shinobi. We don't owe our loyalty to any one village." She explained, making sure that they had a full view of the food she was preparing for them.
"Isn't that just another word for rogue ninja?" Kisame asked darkly.
"Not necessarily. We just don't like to belong to villages, so we hire ourselves out to whoever wants us for a job, but can't afford to pay the regular price for a shinobi village's services, even shinobi villages have been known to hire us from time to time. I just returned from Sand quite recently, because their numbers are so low. My name is Ochiba by the way." She said placing plates of food in front of the two wet and bedraggled shinobi. "I owe no village any lasting loyalty at all, but ours is and has been a legal business for a long time. I know who you are, Kisame and Hidan of the Akatsuki. Though I understand the two of you don't usually travel together." She said matter-of- factly, and taking a bite of everything first for their benefit.
"Fine, but why are you helping us?" Kisame asked, irritated as hell by Hidan's oblivious nature.
She grinned, "My clan always said I was just too damn nice to ever make a good shinobi."
Kisame's warning bells should have been going off, but for some reason he felt quite comfortable and relaxed, though he thought his host unbelievably naive for a shinobi. "Foolish woman!" He thought with half-hearted irritation. He cautiously began to eat. Hidan had already started once he had seen her take bites of everything. He waited patiently, eyeing the food suspiciously, it was delicious and he felt there was no poison to be had.
They took turns taking showers, Kisame muscled his way in first, knowing that if he let Hidan take it, he'd never get in till morning. Hidan grudgingly stood guard at the door, while Kisame took a leisurely shower. After that, Hidan got in, the priest's shower lasted over two hours. Kisame took the time to inspect the oversized shirts thoughtfully provided for them.
"Sorry I don't have anything else." Ochiba apologized, "But I just don't have anything your size."
"You live here alone?" Kisame asked.
She shrugged, "Off and on. Even wild geese have to have a place to roost ya know?"
Hidan finally got out of the shower.
"Ok," She said, "There are RULES here ya know. One and most important, don't try to kill or hurt me. Just because I'm nice, doesn't mean I can't unleash serious pain, even on ones such as you. Rule Two; You try and steal from me and I'll know it. There's no reason to steal at my house anyways, all you have to do is ask me for something. Three don't do anything to bring the authorities here, just because I'm a freelancer doesn't mean I'll get off scot-free. Oh and if either of you want to seduce me in the middle of the night, I would be absolutely delighted!" She laughed again, and Kisame saw a deep loneliness behind her eyes. This foolish freelancing kunoichi had invited two murderous, infamous, and insane S-Rank criminals into her home, all because she was lonely! Kisame had the impression that she would have invited a Bijuu inside just for the sake of it's company. She showed them to a single room, there were twin beds inside, and they were quite comfortable.
Kisame was out like a light within minutes, his snores were loud enough to raise the dead! Hidan got up and peeked into Ochiba's door. The woman had a pillow over her head, and a comical expression on her face, eyes wide and bloodshot, teeth grit. Hidan was quick to notice the TV in her bedroom.
"Hey can I watch TV?" He asked her.
"Yeah sure come on in." She said, tossing him the remote, Hidan caught it deftly and flipped through the channels for a while, finally settling on an action suspense movie.
"Can I have the TV?" Ochiba looked at him, "Don't be an ass." She said dryly.
Hidan blinked, surprised at her suddenly serious demeanor. He sat sulking for a few minutes, letting the gunshots and angry voices drown out Kisame's snoring. Her hand absentmindedly strayed to pull the blanket over her, and Hidan gasped. When she had touched his hand, it felt like a million volts of pleasure had run through his body. His eyes grew heavy and he brushed her cheek with the pad of his thumb.
"Mmm," She purred happily, Hidan received the pleasure stronger then ever, all over a simple act. She looked at him, eyes half mast and he leaned in to kiss her, every cell in his body tingling as tongues brushed and danced smoothly over each other.
Kisame's eyes snapped open. He was feeling pulses of chakra bursting and shimmying down his brain, creating ghost feelings of sensual intimacy on his cheek and his mouth. He got up and padded silently down the hall, peering in he saw that Hidan was behind Ochiba, his teeth nipping her neck and she gasped when he bit down hard, it was a sensitive spot for her and she moaned appreciatively, suddenly Hidan seemed to almost spasm, as his teeth repeatedly began scoring her throat, as though trying to break the skin, it was…animalistic, and it aroused Kisame when she growled deep in her throat and arched her back, as if begging for more. Suddenly the two of them stopped, hazy eyed and Hidan glowered at Kisame for spying. His eyes were possessive of the little kunoichi and were warning him to back off.
Kisame felt the animalistic urge to challenge the cocky priest for his right to Ochiba. Ochiba tensed, unsure of what the two men would do, and Kisame shook his head, living with animal instincts meant recognizing them and either suppressing them or unleashing them when the time was right. He was confused, there was something off here, not something dangerous but definitely off. He grunted and went back to bed. Hidan, the moment spoiled went back to watching the movie until he fell asleep.
Hidan woke up, the TV was still on, and Ochiba was nowhere to be seen. Cautiously the priest walked around the house, to find Ochiba cleaning out the pool.
"Morning." She said tentatively. "Umph."
Hidan grumbled in response, suffice it to say that Hidan was not a morning person.
She giggled at that.
Kisame walked out shortly afterwards, suspicious eyes looking for Ochiba and his partner. Being a shinobi Ochiba understood the deep mistrust. She too would have been wary, staying at a strange ninja's home. He looked around, trying to sense any jutsu that she might have cast on the place. Oddly enough there was not a single one he could detect.
"You guys hungry?" She asked them. Growling stomachs answered her question.
"Kay. Lemme just finish up the pool and I'll start breakfast in a sec."
Kisame was too hungry and impatient to wait for such a task to be completed. "Hidan!" He commanded "Clean up the pool!"
The Jashinist growled at him, "What?! Where the hell are you gonna be?" He nodded towards the retreating back of Ochiba, before following her into the house. Again Ochiba made sure that the Ex-Mist Nin could see everything she was doing. They were sharing a moment of silence.
"How long do you expect us to stay?" He asked after a time.
Ochiba shrugged, "You can stay as long as you like, and leave when you want. The door is always open whether you are coming or going."
Kisame didn't like the somewhat cryptic answer. It seemed straight forward enough, but the strange feeling of off-ness sat low and hard in his gut. They ate in tense silence, Hidan sat as close to the girl as possible, Ochiba would have enjoyed the meal more, if the stifling silence hadn't been broken with heated anger.
Kisame was more then ready to leave, but something in her eye compelled him to stay a while longer. They were in no real hurry, he told himself, and so they elected to stay, it was a rare treat for any ninja to be able to relax, swimming in the pool, dozing in the sun, watching TV, and eating when he liked. He trained with Hidan, for a while and as the sun began to set, he turned around and pointed at the startled girl.
"What the hell are you doing? Why have you trapped us here!"
Ochiba blinked, looking hurt, then she said coolly, "I repeat what I said to you this morning in the kitchen. You can stay as long as you wish, and go whenever you like. The door is always open for you coming or going. See for yourself."
Kisame walked out, expecting a genjutsu, but nothing absolutely nothing greeted his sixth sense.
"You stay here of your own free will, not because of any tricks I've played on you." She said, arms crossed.
Kisame was stunned, and began to wonder if it was just foundless paranoia driven into him at an early age. "My apologies." He said gruffly, but he found himself responding to the instant forgiveness in her eyes when she smiled at him. This foolish little ninja was a rare breed for sure.
Kisame and Hidan left after dinner, Hidan grumbling about leaving and Kisame suddenly turned to look back as the sun slowly sunk behind the house. There appeared to be an animal up there and then the animal turned and ran.
"I knew it!" He growled and went back into the house, only to find it old and dusty as if no one had lived there for years. He then dashed after the animal, Hidan's confused shouts getting fainter as he ducked into the woods. He found her there staring into a small spring. She turned and looked him, lying down, her arms crossed, feet up in the air and swinging back and forth idly like a child's.
"Did you forget something Kisame?" She asked innocently.
"I know there's something up with you. I felt it immediately!"
Ochiba shrugged, "Say what you like, I-" Hidan came running in to the small clearing, "Oof!" They fell into the water Ochiba pinned under his spluttering partner, the heavy cloak dragging them down, Hidan climbed to the other side of the small spring and began hacking his brains out, Kisame stared into the water, when it was still enough, he saw what looked like the unmistakable shape of a fox, but with far longer legs then any normal fox should have.
"Kitsune." He mouthed silently, other then the Nine Tails, he never really expected to see one in his lifetime. In fox-form Ochiba jumped lithely into the branches of a nearby tree.
She looked down at them in human form, crouching there like a bird, a shower of cherry blossoms floated down to tickle their noses, Hidan began sneezing violently.
"Well." Said a voice inside Kisame's head. "Maybe I did trick you just a little. But you wouldn't have accepted my invitation in my true form would you have Kisame?" Her voice was merry and laughing, but still held a tone of loneliness that made Kisame want to stay. "Still, my little trick never did you or your comrade any harm did it?" Kisame looked again, the red sunlight reflecting on lush sable fur, and black-tipped ears.
"True." Kisame thought, she had never once harmed them.
"The rest of what I told you is true, I do come from a clan of Shinobi Kitsune, where do you think ninja learned so many of their tricks?" The girl's golden eyes were laughing good-naturedly at him. Brown hair dripping wet, the droplets rippling the spring's surface, distorting the distinctive reflection of a two-tailed fox perched up on a tree branch.
"This was fun, thank you for easing my loneliness, you both are always welcome back whenever you like. Goodbye." A girl landed lightly on the bank beside Hidan, image flitting from human to fox in front of Kisame's very eyes as he watched her leaping flight into the woods.
"Hey sharky! You're a real paranoid old bastard you know that?! There wasn't a damn thing wrong with her, other then she's too fucking trusting for her own good!"
Kisame opened his mouth but then shut it again, realizing that Hidan hadn't seen Ochiba for what she truly was. "You're as blind as a bat aren't you Hidan?" He muttered cryptically under his breath.