Hey. KLS here. Yeah, I know NONE of you know me, but I felt like a general 'hi' was in order anyway.
Summary: Kai thinks about his 'self'.
Warnings: I suppose it has a bit of a depressing tone.. I don't really like this story, but I figure I'll post it and see if anyone else understands what I'm trying to get across here. The rating is T because I think anyone at that age group or higher has a better chance of understanding it, you know? I suppose I could lower it, but I'm not all that sure I want to. Also, it's short. Not as short as the other, but short.
Dedication: I dedicate this to TheDoublemintTwins11. Same people, different name, mainly because I felt bad for not reading their message in time, and partly because it's my birthday tomorrow and I feel like I should post something. (Again, they probably won't understand this one either.)
Disclaimer: Yeah, I still don't own Beyblade. And I DEFINITELY don't own Kai. Even if I did, he'd probably kill me anyway.. .
Anything Important?: A little bit of background would probably be a good idea, ne? So, yeah this is basically a small session of Kai thinking about what he changed into, and how it's a bit hard for him to...open up? Act normal? I dunno. This wasn't originally meant to be a Beyblade thing at all, but about halfway through I found a part where I thought: 'Hey you know what? In some twisted, warped way this could be Kai...' So here it is. It's kind of written in Kai's POV (Point of View) and kinda not, you know? No? Ah well... Enjoy. Or hate. Whatever... .
There are some things, a person should never forget. There are some things, people should never try to bury. The risk of succeeding is too high, even if the possibility is a percentile less than one. It is always a possibility, unable to go below zero.
If one should succeed in hiding such a thing, they could lose themselves, and it is very likely they will lose themselves forever. Even if it is painful, that pain reminds one that they are human.
Masks of happiness are a farce that will separate ones very being from that of the rest of the world. They will always be missing something, and such a burial can never be discovered alone. Losing humanity, or that of ones sanity, never to return to the natural light of ones soul, that is a punishment only the self can give.
To be resurrected out of an artificial mindset, is a relief that can only be experienced through such an ordeal. I have seen this happen to many people. Many people I consider close to me, in a state where I can not admit such things into my subconscious. The absurdity of a statement such as that would surely drive me into the state referred to as 'insanity.' Yet I know in this hidden state, that is what I truly want. What I need in order to keep in contact with those around me is to be found. This hidden self that only I recognize must be discovered.
My body has hidden me, wanting to destroy my existence so that 'thing' called a mind won't fall off of the cliff it continuously wanders far too close to. The hidden object smiles in silent wonder. Will I fall into oblivion successfully, or will the defiance that is known to make up those I wish to label as 'friends' pull me from this chamber?
My smile is cold. I realize my body and 'mind' are fighting one another again. Mind doesn't want to show me to anyone. Ever…
And I wonder if I should agree. After all, to that world of natural light I don't and never existed. I am the hidden object, my fate in the hands of Pride, Faith, Heart, and Denial. Who can survive such a predicament but those born to disappear? Those that are hidden are those like me.
I am the real Kai Hiwatari. The one that died before it got a chance to live. The one that probably won't ever be found again.
So yeah... really confusing, no? Probably, especially the whole 'body' 'mind' thing. But eh, not much I can do about it now. Review if you'd like... . Byes! KLS