Disclaimer: I don't own Batman, Superman, Justice League or its characters.
11/24/18 - A quick edit done to fix a few typos and change a few things to help the story flow better because I'm obsessive like that xD
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Title: The Sound of a Heartbreak.
Bruce allowed his stiff shoulders to loosen up a little as soon as the cave's sensors alerted him of Superman's approach. It was the only reaction he allowed himself, eyes still fixed on the monitor before him as he mentally followed the kryptonian's path.
He would never admit it out loud, but he liked it when Clark visited the cave, especially in moments such as this when he was in need of a distraction after hours of tedious but necessary work.
Superman appeared in all his blue and red glory forty-two seconds after the motion sensors first noticed him, which indicated he hadn't been flying at full speed.
"Hey, B." Clark greeted affably as he floated closer. "You busy?"
He merely grunted in reply.
"I brought coffee."
That caught Bruce's attention, eyes flicking to his empty coffee mug pushed aside who knew how long ago. He turned to Clark, eyes narrowed as he watched him hold a couple of cups that seemed to have come from a little coffee shop in France if he was not mistaken. One of Bruce's favorites.
Clark handed him the coffee without a word and Bruce closed his eyes, inhaling the tantalizing scent before taking a sip of the warm liquid. He hadn't gone back to that coffee shop in years, so he allowed himself a moment to appreciate the rich and velvety flavor before looking back at the other man.
It wasn't unusual for Clark to show up without notice, sometimes even bringing him a little something. What was unusual was the way the kryptonian was fidgeting with his cup as he leaned against the desk without meeting his eyes.
He didn't think it was anything too serious, so he allowed himself the chance to take a longer swig of his coffee before putting the cup on the desk. "Alright. What's going on."
Clark lifted his head, letting him see alien blue eyes shining brightly without the thick-rimmed glasses to hide them, his lip caught between his teeth.
"I'm proposing to Lois!" He blurted out, a large and beautiful smile spreading across his face a second later.
At that moment, Bruce felt as if something had pierced straight through his chest with cold, dead fingers and proceeded to tear his insides apart, leaving him broken and bleeding. He wasn't strange to pain, and yet, this was new. It was a different kind of pain, but just as sharp and deep.
Bruce kept his gaze fixed on the monitor before him, expression carefully blank. He didn't dare speak, using all of his willpower to keep everything locked up. It was safer that way.
It shouldn't surprise him. Clark had been dating Lois for almost four years now, and, well, he was Clark. Of course, he wanted to get married and form a family with the woman he loved and live happily ever after. His head understood that perfectly, that part of him had expected it even. It was his heart that refused to accept it after years of ignoring the possibility; of taking comfort in the fact they were dating and nothing more.
As if it changed anything. As if Clark being married or not to Lois made things different between them.
It was pathetic. He was pathetic.
Clark chuckled awkwardly. "Okay. I wasn't expecting you to react like Ma did when I told her, but this is strange even for you."
Only years of rigorous training made it possible for him to get past the tight, oppressive feeling in his chest and ignore all the thoughts racing through his head. He needed to react in some way before Clark realized there was anything wrong other than his usual awkwardness with social interactions. He only hoped Clark was too distracted to use his powers and notice any reaction he couldn't control.
Still, the only thing he managed to utter was a grunt.
"That's not much better."
"What do you want me to say," Bruce said flatly.
"I don't know. Congratulations?"
"You're not married or engaged yet."
"Right." Clark was silent for a moment, but his expression and voice turned light again soon enough. "I actually came to give you the news now for a reason."
Bruce wished he could just tell Clark to get out of here. But, even if he wanted to, the words just wouldn't come.
"I want to ask you to be my best man."
No. No, no, no. He couldn't do that. He couldn't stand at the side of the man he loved and pretend to be happy while he married someone else. He just couldn't. It was too much.
"So, what do you say?" He asked expectantly.
"No."
"What- What do you mean no?"
"Exactly what I said," Bruce said hoarsely.
"I- I know you're probably worried about our secret identities. Why would Bruce Wayne be the best man of some reporter, right? But we can work something out. You know we can," Clark added with a forced smile.
Bruce remained silent. It would be so easy to just give in; to say yes and bring a real smile back to Clark's face, but he couldn't put himself through that. He wasn't sure he could take it.
Clark moved closer, crouching down to meet his eyes and it took all of Bruce's thin remaining control not to push him away and flee.
"Look, I know you don't like this kind of thing, I get it, but you're my best friend and I want- No. I need you there with me." Clark touched Bruce's arm and squeezed. "I want you to help me pick out the perfect ring and make fun of me for being ridiculous. I want you to be your prickly self even while you do everything you can to support me."
"I can't," Bruce forced out with a small shake of his head.
"But why? Why can't you do this little thing for me when you have done so much more before? What's so-"
"Because I'm in love with you."
For a couple of seconds, Bruce could pretend he hadn't said that out loud. That it had stayed in his head, just like it always did. An unwanted thought that sometimes came to the forefront of his mind when he was alone with Clark, and one he was always quick to push away. But then Clark pulled away, his face morphing from surprise to confusion to wariness and something else he couldn't put a name to, and the denial was over.
He did it. He truly said that to his best friend. His friend, who just came to tell him he was going to marry his lover. Because he was selfish and stupid and pathetic.
"What?"
Bruce knew he should face Clark -he owed him that much at least- but he just couldn't. He wasn't brave. Never had been when it truly counted. He wasn't even sure whether to be grateful Clark hadn't stormed away or terrified he was still here, watching him and waiting. The heavy silence that followed only made the knot in his stomach tighten further.
He sensed the moment Clark got back to his feet, followed by the sound of footsteps moving away before turning back around.
"You're-" Clark didn't finish. "How long have you feel that way?" He asked softly.
"Does it matter," He replied just as softly.
"I guess no."
When Bruce finally forced himself to look up and meet Clark's eyes, he was prepared to find anger or even resentment. Or, worse than that, pity. What he found instead was lingering surprise and sadness. He looked down again.
"B, I- You're my best friend and you know I care a lot about you, but I-"
"I know."
Clark ducked his head, lower lip caught between his teeth. "I- I love Lois."
"I know," Bruce repeated softly.
"I didn't know. I'm sorry. I should have noticed. I should have-"
"That's not what this is about!" Bruce snapped. The last thing he wanted was Clark's guilt, but then he remembered none of this was Clark's fault and he deflated. He clenched his jaw and forced himself to speak calmly. "I can't be your best man. You understand that."
Clark nodded after a pause.
"Good. You can go."
"B, I-"
"There's nothing else to talk about," Bruce declared, using all the authority and poise he could muster. "In fact, it will be best if you just forget this happened."
"I can't do that," Clark protested with a frown.
"Why not."
"It doesn't work that way. I can't just ignore this and pretend it never happened."
"Do you honestly think discussing it will help anyone. Or change anything." Bruce met his gaze. "Are you going to decide suddenly that you don't want to marry Lois anymore just because I did something stupid."
Clark remained silent, expression pained.
He nodded jerkily. "We're in agreement, then. This never happened."
"That's not a solution."
Bruce chose to ignore that, turning his attention back to the meaningless lines of text in the monitor before him. "You should go. I'm sure you have better things to do."
It wasn't really a surprise when Clark remained right where he was, even if Bruce wished he had listened to him for once. The kryptonian's gaze was something he couldn't ignore, feeling almost like a physical weight added to the heavy load he was already carrying.
It was too much, and Bruce didn't trust himself to keep it together for much longer. He felt so tired and hollow, and he just didn't have the strength to keep pretending anymore.
"Just get out of here," He said tiredly, leaving the commanding tone behind. "Please."
Clark lingered a moment longer, obviously torn between doing what he was told or press the issue. Bruce saw out of the corner of his eye as he reached out, but the hand dropped without touching him, followed by a burst of wind as Clark flew away without a word.
Bruce let out a shaky sigh but didn't dare do anything else. Not yet.
He waited for a long time, waiting to make sure Clark was far away and wasn't going to return before finally cradling his face in his hands, letting his shoulder drop under the unbearable weight as he sunk his teeth in his lip hard enough to draw blood.
Bruce wanted to scream in rage- at himself, at Clark, and even at Lois, but he knew that wouldn't be what came out if he opened his mouth at that moment, so he bit even harder- until he couldn't keep it in any longer.
A ragged sob ripped from his throat, breaking the silence in the cave and Bruce brought a fist to his mouth to drown the sound.
He allowed the moment of weakness to last only a couple of minutes before forcing it all to the back of his mind. It took him longer than that to regain his composure, and even then, it wasn't enough. Bruce could still feel it slipping slowly through the cracks in the fragile walls trying to contain it all inside, but it was the best he could do right now.
It would be better, he just needed more time.
Bruce rubbed a hand across his face, catching a glimpse of the abandoned coffee cup on his desk. He curled his hands into fists before getting out of his chair and stalking toward the training area. He couldn't go out until it was dark, but he needed something.
There was only one thing he had found that could help him bury unwanted thoughts or feelings, so he went straight to the heavy punching bag suspended in the air and pummeled it with his bare fists, no bothering with box gloves or hand wraps.
He welcomed the pain and the blood with lips curled into a snarl, his sweaty forehead resting against the cold leather as he caught his breath.
Bruce needed to find a way to fix this mess, but not now. He wasn't done yet. He wiped his cheek with the back of his bloodied hand before resuming his attack with renewed vigor.
...
a/n: Yes, hi. I'm batsy_rocks and I love Bruce Wayne. I love him so much that I have to make him suffer in every way I possibly can, so here I present you with some more Bruce!angst. And yes, I know I have issues. Sorry. xD
English is not my native language, so any tips or corrections are welcome.