Chapter one
Ever since Gary died, nothing has been the same. The krabby patties were soggy, the jellyfish seemed more distant than usual, and even Squidward's beautiful clarinet playing sounded like shit to spongy ear sockets now.
After a terrible day at work, Spongebob and Patrick were sitting on a hill facing the sunset. The red-orange light was catching on Patrick's face in a very flattering way.
"I don't know what to do anymore, Patrick" said Spongebob, looking over at Patrick and taking a sip from his beer.
"Well, Spongebob. You need to find a new love, because that is the only way to replace an old one." Patrick looked at him with a twinkle in his eyes.
"But Patrick, I need someone who cares about me, and listens to me whenever I talk, an loves me unconditionally. He needs to forgive me for my wrongdoings, who is always there for me, and would even take his own life for my sins."
"Spongebob…I think I ….I think I love you", Patrick said, looking over at Spongebob with a lust so deep, it made his starhood tingle on his throbbing head.
"But…I don't feel the same way about you. You're like a sister to me, and you know I'm gay…"
"I can't believe you just said that to me!" said Patrick. He slapped Spongebob on his spongy face, and ran away crying miserably.
That night, Spongebob had trouble sleeping. He could only stare at Gary's now-empty food bowl and think about what he could have possibly done differently for him not to O.D on kitty treats.
He just wanted someone to hold, but he knew Patrick was not for him.
Better men were in store for this sponge.