Hey guys! This was a project for school, I'll be changing just a couple of details before I turn it in. I need to know if it qualifies as "humorous writing".

So, please Read and Review! It's for school! Your parents, my parents, my teachers, and myself will all thank you!

So please, enjoy!

A Few Not-So-Simple Misunderstandings

Here we go again. My brilliant friend, Luke, is hopelessly confused, as usual. I'm trying to tell a simple story, and he makes it sound like I'm reading the Treaty of Versailles to him in Russian. That is the last time I try to tell Luke a story. I wish I never brought it up in the first place…

"Cha-aaaase," Luke whines, "don't be mad!"

I whip around; my temper is officially lost. "No! You don't understand basic conversational vocabulary, and I'm tired of having to talk like a 2nd grader when conversing with you! You're dumber than a pile of rocks; just shut up and leave me alone!" I storm off, leaving Luke beneath the tree we were talking under. The narrow dirt pathway softly crunches beneath my sandals, and the birds are chirping happily, which irritates me even more, since my mood conflicts with the peppiness of their calls. Anger boils in my blood, coursing through my veins, and the more I think about it, the more furious I get.

Why can't Luke be less stupid? Does he even have a brain?

I guess I should explain what's going on. I'm Chase, and I'm eighteen years old and strikingly handsome, if you ask me. My idiot friend, Luke, is a sorry excuse for a 17-year-old; he really has no common sense.

Earlier today, we met up in our usual spot; underneath this giant oak tree we played in as kids. I had this hilarious story to tell him, and of course, Luke managed to get confused at the simplest statements known to man.

Here's how it went down.

"So then I said to the guy, 'Basically, the principles of physics will help you understand.'"

Luke shook his head in disbelief, his wildly hazel eyes shining in awe. "Wow, I didn't know physics had principals!"

I nodded before pushing my strawberry blonde hair out of my face. "Well, they do. It's a pretty basic concept."

"So, how do the principals work with physics? That's gotta be a tough job." Luke leaned against the giant tree, using his elbow as a means of support.

"Not really. Here's a basic one; every effect has a cause," I explained.

Luke's eyebrows furrowed, and his eyes darted around, a habit he developed early in life that manifests itself when he's confused.

"Wait – how do principals use that? Aren't they just there to make sure things don't get out of hand?"

"W-…Well, yeah…are we talking about the same thing?"

He ran his fingers through his crazy, bright blue hair, narrowly avoiding the flame bandanna that was tied around his head. That confused look planted itself on his face again. "I think so," he said. "Like a principal of a school, they have principals for physics, right?"

I sighed. "No, Luke. Not that kind of principal. I meant principle, like a general rule or foundation for something."

He blinked. "Oh."

"You still don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"

Luke shook his head.

I sighed yet again, getting increasingly agitated. I could almost taste his stupidity. "Okay. Let's talk about something else."

"Okay! How's your cooking class going?" Luke asked eagerly, as if the previous conversation never existed.

"Pretty well, actually. We covered the importance of kneading bread dough, which I already knew, of course," I said, smirking slightly at the memory of my classmates' amateur level of cooking knowledge.

"Right, what kind of idiots don't know you that need bread dough to make bread?"

I was surprised to find out Luke knew about this, as he's not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer.

"Exactly! They were acting like that was some kind of new concept!"

"Pschh, amateurs. Without bread dough, you don't get the bread! You obviously need it."

I closed my eyes, feeling my blood pressure elevate rapidly. "Luke…?" I asked, not opening my eyes.

"Yeah, buddy?"

"Do you know what kneading dough is?"

"I know that you need bread dough to make bread!"

I opened my eyes slowly. "Luke…not need, KNEAD! Like folding it over and over with your hands. You give the dough a massage to help it rise."

Luke stared at me blankly, his mouth hanging slightly open. He was more confused than if President Lincoln was handed an iPhone for the first time.

"So…you don't need bread dough to make bread?"

My hands curled into tight fists – my blood pressure has to be off the charts by now. "LUKE! Dude, you're not getting it! You know what – never mind; I'm done with this conversation." I turned to walk away when I heard Luke behind me.

"Cha-aaaaase," Luke whined, "don't be mad!"

You know the rest. Luke will never be able to hang on to friends with his IQ level. I don't even get how his girlfriend, Celia, is able to handle him. He even went all stupid on her; it all started when Luke and I visited her in a nearby city. I was in the other room when I overheard their conversation.

"So, Celia. What's on the agenda this time around?" Luke had asked.

"Well, there's a dance this Saturday, hosted by Lumina, Romana, and Sebastian. I thought it'd be fun to go, but…"

"But what?"

Celia's face flushed a delicate shade of peach. "B-but, um….I don't have an escort."

Luke appeared puzzled "Escort? Girls don't use escorts!"

"S-sure they do! Almost every girl gets an escort to some sort of event!"

Luke scratched his head. "Weird, I thought that was a guy thing…"

"Wait, are we talking about the same thing?" Celia asked.

"I think so, you're talking about those neck tie things, right?"

Celia thought for a moment, then laughed. "Luke! No, not an ascot, an ESCORT!"

"…Snails? You need to bring snails to a dance?"

Celia facepalmed. "Luke. Not escargots. Escort. Like someone to accompany you to the dance, to walk you there, to dance with you, to walk you home, etcetera!"

Luke processed this information. "Oh. Well, why don't you have Jill take you?"

Celia sighed. "The escort is usually male, Luke."

"Oh! Well, I'll take you, then!"

See what I mean? He's a total dolt! It took him forever to get the point – I'm shocked he even got it!

I open the door to my house, grumbling about today's happenings. After I've slammed the door, startling my parents, I make a beeline straight to my room, slam that door, and lock it. I fall face-down on my bed, letting out a much-needed scream into my dark blue comforter. Immediately, I feel better. Now that I'm alone, I can think and maybe calm down… Maybe.

A few hours later…

Great. Now I feel like a total jerk. No, I am a total jerk. I know Luke isn't the smartest guy around, but I still shouldn't have blown up at him like that.

I have to fix this.

I stand up slowly, walk across the room to my dresser, and look in the mirror.

You are very handsome, I think to myself. But my personality isn't.

I shake the thought away and return to my reflection. My shaggy, strawberry blonde hair falls in my eyes a little. I need a haircut…but in the meantime, I can just use these. I grab three hairpins and secure my bangs away from my face.

Much better. Now, Chase, your violet eyes have never been more vibrant, now have they? Actually, they have; when I wasn't a total cretin. Don't think that way. Luke deserved it. No, he didn't deserve such atrocious treatment.

What would Riley think? I sigh at how my girlfriend would react. She'd probably chew me out for being such an abominable person. Riley knows how to set me straight, and she's one of the only people that can even get through to me. Though she's a bit of a loner, Riley is certainly changing me.

Now that I've thought about every possible thing under the sun, I unlock my door and walk down the hallway, pass the living room where my parents give me worried glances, and head outside. I make my way towards Luke's house and drum up an apology in my head.

The time passes way faster than I realize, and before I know it, I'm in front of Luke's house. After knocking on the door, Luke's dad shows up moments later. "Hi Chase," he says monotonously.

"Hey Dale. Is Luke here?" I ask.

"No, I haven't seen him since this morning," he replies.

"Okay. Thanks for the info. See you."

I turn and leave, hearing the door close quietly behind me. Dale said Luke isn't home, but I'm pretty sure I know where he is.

Sure enough, he's right where I thought he was. The genius never left the tree – he's sitting on one of its branches.

I approach the tree and spot Luke. I try to get his attention by yelling, "Hey Luke! Get down here!" I have to squint to adjust to the sudden change in sunlight blasting in my face.

When he glances over at me, I notice his expression and my heart drops. He's dejected. Empty. Hurt. Like a person that's lost all reason for living. I've never seen him like this, and to think I'm the cause makes me feel terrible.

Luke remains silent, which only makes me feel like a bigger jerk.

"Luke, answer me!"

Nothing.

"All right, listen up! I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean what I said. You're not stupid. You're my best friend, and the only person who's ever put up with my attitude, and I turn around and treat you like crap! Luke, you're like my brother. Seeing you like this kills me; please come down here!"

Luke glances over at me again, but still says nothing.

Those stupid birds keep chirping all around, and the wind is barely kicking in, which makes the heat feel fifty times hotter than it really is. There are random animals running around, the wind makes the tall grasses in the distance sway back and forth and the leaves rustle quietly. A nearby stream makes its way over rocks and mud, making a relaxing sound. Somehow, with all the white noise surrounding us, the silence between us is deafening and extremely awkward.

I jump when I hear Luke's voice. "But you were right. I am dumber than a pile of rocks. I never understand anything. Why should you keep putting up with me?"

"Because I shouldn't 'put up' with you; I should accept you for who you are. I'll do that regardless if you forgive me or not. I've been a total jerk, Luke, and I'm sorry. You're none of those things. Please don't let what I said get to your heart, because it's all lies."

He looks at me. "You mean that?"

I smile weakly. "Yes. I mean it."

Luke's face immediately brightens, and then he jumps down. Next thing I know, I'm being tackled in one of his infamous "bear hugs".

"Dude, you're the best!" Luke yells in my ear.

"Nah. You are. Now quit hugging me, someone might see and get the wrong idea."

He pulls away and claps my shoulder. "Fair enough! Hey – let's go to the diner and grab some lunch!"

"Sounds good, buddy."

He smiles one of his classically huge smiles, and I know he's put it behind him.

The End

Well guys, did this qualify as a "humorous writing"? Be honest! Be brutal!

You can do this.

Tell me your thoughts.

Reviews are appreciated!