Inspired by the song Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Ray. Sorry if the ending seems kind of rushed but I wrote this during Chemistry a few days ago and thought I would upload it :) I don't own either of these amazing people. Enjoy!
Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me when I've got nothing but my aching soul?
Phil stared vacantly out of the train window, hardly acknowledging the trees and train tracks whizzing past. He was mildly aware of Dan talking next to him, but whether he was talking to Phil or himself he didn't really know. His mind was too occupied with other thoughts. Worse, much darker thoughts. Phil had noticed these thoughts entering his mind a few weeks back but hadn't done anything about it at the time. He began to wish he had because they were starting to take over. They were all he could think about. The things had started off as little more than silly ideas. But now the more he thought about them, the more real they were becoming.
Old. That's all the thoughts were. Phil growing old. But they scared him so much it was unbelievable. It wasn't so much the idea of being old that he feared but rather what would happen to the people around him when the years begin to take their toll. At the moment he was still young and, according to Dan at least, beautiful. But Phil knew ageing was inevitable and he feared Dan's opinion of that. As silly to himself as it sounded, Phil feared what Dan would do once he was no longer young like he was now. Would he leave? Would Dan abandon him for someone nicer, younger, better? Would he grow cold and distant? The more Phil thought about it, the more he came to believe that Dan really would leave him and that was the one thing Phil feared the most.
"Phiiil? Hellooo, anyone there?"
"Hm?" Phil was brought back to the world by Dan's voice.
"The train's about to reach our stop and I figured it would be best to not leave you on here"
Phil only smiled a little in reply and then stood up with Dan and walked over to the now open train doors leading out to the crowded platform. Soon they were both off the platform and walking back to their flat- it was quite close to the station so they didn't really need to get a taxi. The silent walk home wasn't exactly awkward but the silence that hung in the air was far from a comfortable one. That silence continued as they reached their apartment. Dan took out his keys and opened the door. He carelessly flung the keys on the coffee table near the door and flopped down on the sofa. But when he looked up, he saw Phil standing frozen in the open doorway with the same vacant expression he had been wearing on the train.
"Phil?" Dan's voice radiated concern as he called over to him. He had noticed Phil had seemed different lately. "Phil, what's wrong?"
"What do you mean? Nothing's wrong. No" Phil stumbled on his words and Dan knew instantly that he wasn't telling the truth.
"Phil, don't do this. Just tell me what's up."
That was the moment Phil broke. After the weeks of constant thought torture and all the 'what if's, he just snapped. Tears were streaming from his bright blue eyes and falling down his already flushed cheeks. Dan was, of course, by his side in an instant; taking his hand and leading him over to the sofa.
"Phil? Phil, what's wrong?" Dan asked hurriedly, fear lacing his voice.
"I'm scared, Dan"
The younger man almost gawked in shock. Worried maybe, possibly even anxious, but scared was the one thing he never expected to hear. He pulled the other in closer, wrapping his arms around the slender body and hushed the man in his arms until he had calmed down.
"What's this all about?"
"Nothing"
"Phil, you haven't been your normal self for weeks. You literally just broke down right in front of me a few minutes ago. Please, just tell me what's up."
"You're going to leave me"
"Phil, I wouldn't-" Dan protested, his body shivering in shock.
"Just let me finish" Phil cut in before the brunette could say anything else. After a small pause and a few deep breaths, Phil continued.
"I love you more than anything in the world. And I know you feel the same way about me too. But I also know that you are not going to want me forever. One day, someone else will catch your eye and you'll eventually leave me."
Dan blinked once, twice, three times, then finally a smile spread along his lips.
"Philip" Dan placed a kiss on Phil's forehead.
"Lester" a kiss on the nose.
"You big" another kiss down Phil's neck.
"Bloody" a kiss along his jaw.
"Idiot" a gentle kiss on Phil's cheek.
"I love you more than anything I have, have ever had, or ever will have. I love you more than I thought was possible. And that is never going to change. Okay?"
Phil's eyes stared at Dan and all he saw was the truth. They smiled together and Phil moved closer until his forehead was pressed against Dan's.
"I love you"
Finally, Dan pulled his lips up to meet Phil's and sparks flew as soon as they touched. Arms wound around each other and their lips moved in perfect sync.
I love you too.