"What you of course could not know," Classified stated, pointing to the screen while Skipper paced on the briefing table, "is that GLaDOS' facility in the Great Plains is secretly developing a doomsday weapon called The Neurotoxin."
"Ahhh," Skipper smugly replied as he stopped his pacing. "But what you don't know, is that Glenda -"
"GLaDOS," Kowalski corrected.
"GLaDOS," Skipper said, "won't be using her Herotoxin -"
"Neurotoxin," Kowalski said.
"Neurotoxin, on anybody."
"That part is accurate," Kowalski confirmed.
"Show 'em Rico," Skipper ordered.
Rico regurgitated a small cylinder containing a bubbly green liquid onto the table next to Skipper. Skipper proudly placed his foot on it and looked at Classified.
"Y-You stole the Neurotoxin?" Classified asked in surprise.
"Well stole the toxin, saved the day, did your job for you, call it what you will," Skipper said as Classified picked up the deadly substance.
"If that stuff's so deadly, why did we make Rico swallow it?" Private asked.
Rico's face turned a slightly greenish color as he placed his flipper on his stomach. However, before the others could say anything, the screen flickered and showed GLaDOS' central core suspended from the ceiling.
"Gary!" Skipper pointed at the screen.
"GLaDOS," Kowalski correcting again.
"GLaDOS!"
"She hacked into our system," Corporal said.
It appeared that GLaDOS was talking but no sound was coming through.
"Where's the sound?" Eva asked.
"G-GLaDOS," Kowalski said gesturing down. "Your microphone, it's not on."
"I can't hear anything," Eva said.
"Press the button with the picture of the microphone on it," Classified tried to tell her.
"Every time a villain calls in this happens," Short Fuse complained.
""Hello… hello…," her voice finally came through, but the screen went blank. "I know you can hear me, are you there?"
"It's so annoying," Short Fuse said.
"Now we can hear you, but we can't see you," Kowalski said.
"Every time!"
"Ohhh," Classified said. "It's like talking to my parents."
"This always happens."
"Let me just murder this button…" GLaDOS said. The Penguins and North Wind heard a muffled explosion.
"Button destroyed," an announcer's voice stated.
The screen came back on. "There, it's fixed," GLaDOS said.
"Yes!"
"Wohoo!"
"Yeah!"
"Excellent!"
"Well that was fun, but seriously though, let's get down to business," GLaDOS said, then she let out an evil chuckle.
The Penguins and the North Wind posed dramatically.
"GLaDOS," Kowalski growled.
"Hello… North Wind, I see you have met the EVIL birds," GLaDOS said.
"We're not evil," Skipper said, "you're the one who tried to kill us."
"Turn yourself in GLaDOS," Classified said. "You're powerless now that I've stolen your precious hobotoxin. Ha!"
"What!" Skipper exclaimed. "You didn't steal that!"
"It's over," Classified said.
"It's over?" GLaDOS sounded dismayed. "Ohh that's sad, but impressive. Maybe you didn't expect me to show you this." She directed the camera to a corner of the room where a much larger amount of Neurotoxin was stored, flanked by a pair of white robotic turrets.
Everyone gasped.
"Hello," one of the turrets said.
The other one turned on its targeting laser and pointed it at GLaDOS' camera. "Target acquired," it said, deploying its side guns.
"Stop!" GLaDOS ordered. "Do not fire at my camera."
"Shutting down," the turret said sadly.
A few seconds of awkward silence ticked by.
"That," Kowalski finally said, dumbfounded, "is a lot of serum, for four penguins."
"Did you honestly, truly believe stealing that tiny container would stop me, evil birds?" GLaDOS asked.
"She really has a thing against birds," Kowalski said.
"This time you won't be the only ones to become the past participants of the Being Alive Club. Ha ha. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go bake some cake - for science - you evil, flightless, birds. Goobye." The screen went blank.
Classified turned to the Penguins. "What is it with her and birds?" he asked.
Skipper shrugged.