Hitman-Hitman
Chapter 1: Contract-Contract
"This the place?" Ringo asked with a slurred voice.
The driver in the front seat nodded without saying anything.
Ringo took a swig from his gourd as he drunkenly stumbled out of the pitch black vehicle. He took in his nighttime surroundings and spotted the lonely shack off the side of the dirt road. Trees, trees, an owl, and more trees were about the only thing Ringo could make out with the lone flickering light that hung from the roof of the shack. The black van sped away quickly as Ringo shut the door. Dirt crunched beneath his bare feet as he made his way to his destination.
"Well this place is depressing," the gunman said gripping the doorknob to enter.
With a chilling creak, the door opened. A lone room was revealed with a rectangular table in its center. Three chairs were lined around it. This lead Ringo to assume that there were more people coming. He shut the door behind him. Then he took a seat in the leftmost chair from the entrance and kicked his feet up on the table. As he rested his legs, something wobbled on the table. He just noticed that there was a strange box with sides shaped like trapezoids and the top, a hexagon.
Ringo pulled his chair closer and fiddled with it. Picking it up, he realizes that it is far heavier than he expected. He tapped it, rapped it, slapped it, but as far as he knew it seemed pretty useless. He set it aside then to took a particularly long draught of his brew. The wait was already getting to him and he could definitely tell.
Ringo could tell just by the condition of the shack whatever he was about to do would be very arduous and might even get him hurt. He took note of the dingy, rotting wooden floors and the chipped paint on the walls. There was even graffiti on the wall opposite of him. It stylishly displayed the words: 'All Roads Lead to the Vain.'
Ringo slouched in his chair, bored, and began to eye every other detail in the room. In about another minute, though, the sharpshooter was asleep. To him it felt like a second, but fifteen minutes actually passed when the creaky door sounded again. Ringo woke with a jump. He looked at the entrance as one of Ringo's worst foes entered the small space: Glaive the Grangor.
The enemies would have locked eyes, but Glaive's blindfold prevented this. They just stood and sat silently for a second. Their silence was quickly interrupted by three shots fired by Ringo. Glaive could barely lift his axe to block the blazing quick attacks in time due to the restricting space. They bounced off his axe with three metallic pings. Glaive took two long strides and swung his axe overhead Unluckily for the Grangor, his axe was caught by the roof instead of Ringo's flesh. Once Ringo realized that he wasn't dead, he rolled onto the floor and fired another two shots.
Glaive anticipated this so he was already in the process of dodging. One bullet missed completely, but the other grazed his whiskers shaving them down a few inches. Genuinely annoyed now, Glaive ripped his axe down making a sizable hole in the roof. As wooden debris fell to his feet, he activated his rocket axe's afterburner and was launched towards Ringo who had already backed up to the wall.
With a burly Grangor a split second from cleaving him in two, Ringo could only do one thing: take a gamble. Because he was already seeing double, Ringo couldn't particularly make out a great deal of detail, but he could see Glaive's shiny axe. He shot without too much thought and with some drunken luck, he hit the edge of Glaive's axe which threw the direct afterburn askew making Glaive miss.
Glaive was dazed after his collision with the wall and wasn't surprised to see Ringo's shiny revolver pointed directly between his eyes.
"You're losing your touch, Glaive-y," Ringo taunted.
Glaive simply scoffed.
"This is payback, ya' overgrown house cat." Ringo pulled the trigger. To his dismay, he had already used his six shots he had loaded into his gun. Glaive shook his head at his own luck.
Ringo swore. "You've gotta be jok-" his words were then cut short by Glaive who sent him flying with his fist to the other side of the room. Ringo didn't even bother moving from the corner he landed in. He just propped his upper body on the wall.
"Stupid, drunken human," Glaive said pulling himself out of the wall. He sat down on the single chair that remained in tact. "You're not even worth killing."
Before anything else could be said, another head popped through the door. A huge hand gripped the top of the door frame as the stranger peered inside. He looked at the man drinking in the corner then his eyes drifted to the Grangor, then the two holes in the wall and ceiling.
"Another wall of meat?! This day is just getting better and better," Ringo exclaimed noticing that this third guest was a huge river troll who could barely make it through the doorway.
"Hm," his voice was rich, accented and deep,"I think I stumbled into the wrong little shack. I'll be on my way, then."
"Wait a minute," Ringo commanded beginning to stand up. "When I got here, there were three chairs around this, here, table. That can only mean three people were meant to come here. Now, there's enough bodies…"
"Well, then. What are you blokes doin' here?" the second 'wall of meat' asked.
"I came here because someone needed my axe. I didn't come for free, though." Glaive said cracking his neck.
"What? You're getting paid?" Ringo complained
"A mercenary never works for free, fool."
Their chat was cut short by a warped "Hello" hear from in the middle of the room. The final guest entered the shack to examine the sound further. A second more agitated "Hello" was heard. The river troll cleared a few planks of shattered wood to find the mysterious box from earlier. He pinched it with his thumb and index finger and eyed it pathetically. Without warning, it scanned the entire room and relayed its findings: "Three subjects detected. Hello Glaive. Hello Phineas. Hello Ringo."
"So that's what that thing is," the drunk surmised.
"Oi," Phinn greeted.
The voice changed from its robotic voice pattern to a more natural one, but the voice was still warped, "Finally. Have all three of you made it to the rendezvous point in one piece?"
"Almost two," Ringo said slyly looking at Glaive. "But yeah, we're all here."
A small projection popped up showing a relief map of the area. On its edge was the Halcyon Fold with the lone town beside it to the north, and then the enormous mountain beside it to the east. "Alright. Let's get straight to it. I've assembled you three to deal with one target specifically, but one that may require the removal of several sub-targets. This target's name is unknown, and is not human, but machine. More specifically, it's the Stormguard's literal killing machine."
Ringo held his gourd as he was about to take a sip of his brew, "This thing must be pretty tough if ya' need three guys to take it on."
"You are correct. This machine is capable of taking a large amount of punishment. I've even sent whole groups to find and apprehend the machine, but that plan only ended in tragedy. So my team and I have decided to compensate you if you were to take this monster down."
Glaive stood and approached the talking box, "So, how much should we expect for the removal of this 'killing machine?'"
"Five million gold pieces each," the voice said with no hesitation.
Ringo spit his alcohol into the air and got even closer to the black box, "Wait a minute. Can you repeat that? Did you just say five million gold pieces? Each?!"
"Yes, Ringo. Five million gold pieces for each of you. A total of fifteen million gold pieces."
Ringo's eyes widened, "The booze I could buy with that much cash…"
"Let'em continue, will ya'?" Phinn said angrily wiping a few drops of spit off his scales.
"Anyway," the voice continued as a dot appears on the holographic map a few inches below the Halcyon Fold. This unfortunate town's cantina was where the machine was last spotted. As you could probably guess, we have little data of machine because of its efficiency, but we do know two things. First, it wields a blade and second it has a self destruction capability. For future reference, if you see the torso of the machine begin to pulse with electrical energy, it is imperative that you leave the area."
"Heh. Glad you told us that," Ringo said nervously.
"And one final thing to add: Our conversation and this meeting never happened."
"Wait. Before you self destruct," Ringo joked. "What should we call you?"
"Nothing. Do not speak a breath of my existence."
"Alright, Nothing, we won't mention you to anyone else."
"...You can't be serious… Anyway, keep this transmitter on you at all times. You can use it as a map and a way of contacting me, but only do so in emergencies. Are we clear?"
Different accounts of confirmation could be heard from the three Hitmen.
"Crystal," Phinn droned.
"Righty-o," Ringo slurred.
"Understood," Glaive snarled.
The map disappeared and the black box went silent.
"Well...What now?" Ringo asked.
"Well, we're going to find this thing, tear it to shreds, then collect our reward." Phinn stated.
"Looks like we gotta do a bit of a adventuring together, eh?" Ringo said far too enthusiastically.
"Absolutely not," Glaive protested."It's bad enough that I have to work alongside you, so to preserve my sanity I'll be spending as little time with you as possible."
"Well, that was hurtful." Ringo said flicking the cylinder of his gun open with his single hand. He somehow reloaded the gun in record time without even moving his fingers. With a click, he moved the cylinder back in place.
"Our current position is just a few miles from this cantina Nothin' spoke about, so we may as well stick together for the moment. I have an idea, though," Phinn added.
Glaive scoffed, "Whatever."
Ringo chimed in, "What is this idea of yours?"
"Grangors and humans are more common than river trolls, so it's up to you two to ask around town about this machine. In the meantime. I'll be scoutin' around the area looking for any suspicious findings. If all goes well, we should have a direction to head in next."
"So are we walking ten miles in the dead of night? Or are we waiting on a ride? I'm used to walking, but by the time you two get there you'll be exhausted and not up for a fight," Glaive said.
"It seems like we'll have to walk. I'll get over it, so let's get a move on."
Phinn exited first, then Glaive, and finally Ringo who shut the door behind him. With a rumble, what remained of the shack came crashing down fairly dramatically. Phinn looked back at Ringo and simply rolled his eyes while Glaive tried to look as nonchalant as possible. The three left behind the now destroyed shack and came to find a surprise lying at their splintered doorstep. At first, they couldn't see it because of the low light, but as they approached, an unusually large and expensive looking convertible came into view.
"They gave us a car? Heh. I'm glad. I didn't feel like getting sores on my feet," Ringo said loudly.
"I'll drive," Phinn said confidently.
Ringo looked oddly at the troll while Glaive scoffed.
"What?" he asked. "I know how to ride horse and carriage. How hard can this be? Plus you're very clearly drunk, so I'm not lettin' you drive."
Ringo ignored the last comment as he couldn't imagine any number of horses pulling this huge river troll anywhere.
Phinn climbed in with a bit of difficulty and gripped the steering wheel in the center of the hovering vehicle. He eyed the strange mechanisms by his feet. Next, Ringo hopped in without struggling like Phinn. Glaive, however, stood stone still.
One particular feature of the car made Glaive somewhat uncomfortable. It hovered. He could senses that there was nothing holding the metallic vehicle up. Because he's blind, Glaive takes comfort in being able to feel the ground. It's his irrational fear to not be connected to the ground in some way.
"Aren't you comin'?" Phinn asked
"That thing hovers," Glaive pointed out.
Ringo looked over the side and squinted in the low light. To his delight there really were no wheels, or anything holding the vehicle up.
"Okay…?" Phinn said missing the point Glaive was trying to make until Ringo smiled deviously.
"D'aww! Is the wittle kitty-cat afraid of heights?" Ringo said childishly.
"Tch. I am a feral warrior! I wouldn't disgrace my ancestors by sharing that vehicle with the likes of you!" Glaive said dodging the question.
"Fine," Phinn said losing a portion of the great amount of patience he possessed. "Then you walk."
"I'd rather!" Glaive said bearing his teeth while turning away and beginning to walk.
Already figuring out the controls of the bizarre vehicle, Phinn and Ringo slowly accelerated away silently and continued to do so long after Glaive had disappeared from view.
For a while during their travel, the forest still sandwiched them and the road, but every mile or so, a clearing would reveal the shiny brilliance of the moon's reflection in the enormous lake nearby. The somewhat repetitive scenery did little to entertain the river troll who already found the task of driving exceedingly boring, so unnaturally, he began to strike up conversation with the small, drinking human to his right.
"I don't think I caught your name," Phinn implied without breaking his focus on the dirt road.
"Name's Ringo. And the angry kitty is Glaive. You?"
"Phinneas," was his response.
"Interesting," Ringo said stretching out the word excitedly. "You know what they say about people with that name, right?"
"What's that?" Phinn said hardly intrigued.
"No clue, but I'm sure they say something."
Phinn sighed then shook his head.
Ringo took another sip from his seemingly bottomless gourd and belched a red flame. He looked casually to his right and was startled as there was the tiniest fox he had ever seen gripping tightly to the arm rest. Ringo's flight response made him run right into Phinn causing the vehicle to slalom foolishly before he could regain control.
"Seriously?" Phinn said in disbelief that he almost lost his life to the person who wasn't even driving.
"Look, there!" he said pointing at the menacing baby fox that couldn't be any longer than a foot and a half.
"A little fox scared you…?"
"Hey, when this stuff is in you, you can swear everything is four times bigger. How do you think I felt when I saw-"
"Another word and I'll toss you off this thing."
"Hehe. Right."
Ringo slid back over to his side of the vehicle and picked up the miniature fox and held it in his hand. Forgetting that he can't drink and inspect at the same time, Ringo put the fox on his lap and grabbed his gourd. With a yawn, the fox opened its eyes and looked at Ringo with a mischievous look there. It was almost dog-like the way it stuck out its tongue and scratched its fur. Feeling bad for the lone fox, Ringo decided to name it.
"Didn't you throw that thing out the car yet?" Phinn said glowering at his annoying teammate.
"What the hell? No! Look at him. He's adorable,"
"And I'm a technologist."
"Har, Har. I'm keeping him. His name'll be...Mr. Tongue."
Phinn didn't even bother commenting.
At last, their trip came to a close moments later as they arrived at the cantina. As expected, there wasn't much to the place, the town began where the trees stopped. There was no real greeting party or even a sign to tell you the name of the place. Phinn parked a ways from the building nearest to them to remain inconspicuous and reiterated the plan. Ringo, and Glaive if he were present, is tasked with gathering information in town starting with the infamous cantina. In the meantime, Phinn's job is to skirt the premises and look for clues behind and around buildings as to where the machine went or any information about it.
"Got it," Ringo confirmed hopping out the car. He had to leave his new friend in the car because it had fell back asleep.
Ringo waltzed into town as casually as a drunken sharpshooter in search of an explosion-happy robot could look. He looked this way and that for a full minute as he walked, but didn't spot one person. Feeling himself sobering up rather rapidly and working up quite the appetite, he thought it high (noon) time to find that cantina. Funnily enough, the hungry shogun nearly walked past the place in search of it.
The old swinging doors tilted back and forth unevenly and creaked less severely each time. The cantina was way more empty than one should be in Ringo's opinion. First thing that caught his eye was the lack of anything to catch his eye. The room was nearly pitch black and the only light that was present, poured through the entrance from the now rising sun.
In his element, Ringo took a confident step, then immediately regretted it as a tiny shard of glass pricked his foot. Surprised and angry at the pain, Ringo slammed down into a nearby chair that he could barely see and crossed his leg over his other to remove the shard. He gingerly felt around the area to remove any more shards, but none were found. With a groan he stood up and took care to look before he stepped especially now with his eyes adjusted to the low light.
He inspected most of the cantina and everything seemed to be in order. Other than a few shards of glass, most likely from a broken bottle or glass mug, Ringo couldn't find anything out of the ordinary. No skeletons, dried blood, or rotting corpses. That was a good sign...until he walked behind the bar to jack some booze and saw two red dots pierce through the darkness. With a hard crack, Ringo shoots directly between them without thinking about it. He hears a metal ping and a robotic voice rings forward, "ONE."
Whirring and beeping sounds come in high pitched waves as if a computer were starting up. Ringo took a few precautionary steps backwards. He had pissed something off and he had a decent guess as to what.
Ringo turned and sprinted for the spinning doors. He was expecting to be pursued, but he was not followed. Instead, the thing in the darkness took its time walking up to the swinging door that were still creaking back and forth from Ringo's barging through them. It halted in the doorway and the doors ceased swinging as they collided with its ghost-like white features and awkward stance. It was very clearly a robot, but it had womanly features on its chest and a feminine voice although streamline like a machine. Ringo hardly noticed this as he stared at the deathly quiet eyes of the machine. They held no mercy. They held no restraint.
"SCANNING. TARGET UNSPECIFIED. CIVILIAN. EXTERMINATE."
"Hey, uh, Phinn if you could get over here that'd be pretty nice!" Ringo shouted frantically backing up in no particular direction.
Nothing was heard in reply, so he twirled his gun until it was set ablaze and continued firing until his six shots ran out.
"TWO-THREE-FOUR-FIVE-SIX," the machine called taking several sprinting steps forward. Clearly bullets had little effect on this strange machine, so Ringo settled for the next best thing which had to do with running and hiding. Before he could even get off the ground to turn and burn in the other direction, the robot marked him with a red laser and rocketed after him with great velocity. Upon reaching him it landed behind him and spun its wicked blade with deadly intent.
Ringo who was in the process of standing up, fell right back down to avoid the metal cleaving through the air. Ringo reloaded as quickly as he did before and fired a shot at the body of the spinning robot. It did as little as before, so he rolled backwards and shot at its joints and feet which caused it to waver slightly in its next few steps towards him as it counted, "SEVEN-EIGHT-NINE."
Ringo's crippling technique wouldn't affect much because the machine used its thrusters once more to get in close. In a terrifying display of speed, it cut Ringo's six shooter in two and knocked the one half out of his hands Ringo, who was even more vulnerable than before sat on the ground propped up on his lone arm waiting for the blade to curve down into his skin, but it wouldn't happen as the action of an annoyed beast would save his life.
From the darkness of an alley, Phinn's anchor hurled its it way through the air and took a hold of the machine's torso. The machine instantly resisted, so it took quite a bit of effort for Phinn to pull it away from Ringo and into his scaly fist. The robot took the blow full force and fell to the ground dropping its weapon.
"TEN-E-ELEVEN," it stuttered through the crippling punch.
It could barely react in time as Phinn stomped down with one foot trying to crush its head, but it would scramble effectively and get away from Phinn by leaping to the top of one of the wooden buildings, but not before retrieving its sword.
The troll rendezvoused with the startled human who was now weaponless. And the both eyed the strangest thing. It was running away. On the rooftops it sprinted awkwardly as it jumped down and began to head down the path they came from.
"Oh no you don't," Ringo said filling his mouth to the brim with burning liquor.
Ringo opened his mouth and red hot flame akin to the breath of a dragon began to follow the fleeing robot. It drew dangerously close would detonate the second it collided with its components, but the machine had another trick.
"DANGER IMMINENT. DEFENSIVE PROTOCOL INITIATED."
A clear-whitish bubble appeared around the robot and defended it causing no damage.
"What?!" Ringo shouted in utter disbelief, "And that was the last of that my Hellfire Brew too!"
Ringo gripped one half of his gun. He couldn't find the other half, so he just stared at it sadly.
"Unlucky, mate," Phinn commented. "We'll get it next time."
"Wait….WHAT ABOUT GLAIVE?!"
Phinn sighed, "Get in the car. We have to find that idiot before he tries to fight that thing himself…."