Unique

„You are unique amongst your brothers, Donatello", Splinter told him once. Much to Donatello's dismay he was right.

It was already deep in the night and most of New York's underground citizens were fast asleep. The lair of the four Turtle brothers and their master was dark and quite as well. Or at least it seemed that way. Out of nowhere suddenly the swish of rice paper was to be heard but nobody was to be seen.

That was until a match was lit in the darkness of the dojo and one by one the candles were inflamed until the room was covered in a warm and comforting light.

The scent of inscence sticks still lingered in the air and gave away that not too long ago someone had been meditating.

Donatello sighed. Meditation was one of the few disciplines that made him struggle. He never really managed to separate his spirit from the present. His mind worked different. He tried to solve problems analytically. The meditation just led to new questions and revealed truths that better had been kept in the dark. It was the meditation that led him to this point.

With a silent sigh Donatello knelt down in front of the weapons cabinet. He felt horrible. Everything was wrong and nothing seemed to be right anymore. He didn't even knew who he really was – but still wanted to scream it out loud. Feeling the inner pain the turtle closed his eyes.

He had always known he was different – unique as Splinter had put it. It was just that this didn't sound positive in any way. It sounded wrong. He was nothing but a failure. Of course his research stated otherwise. From time to time it just happened that someone like him was born. Even though, the turtle was ashamed. They already laughed at him when he lost the fights during training session or had to be rescued on their missions. Hell, Raphael once called him a girl and hit a nerve. But it wasn't Donatello's fault that he was actually their sister. All he could do was to hide it under any circumstances.

But it did no good to him: the denial before himself, his brothers and his father, who was watching him closely, searching for the reason of Donatello's imbalance. But somehow he managed. That was until things only got worse. The turtles had reached an age where he just couldn't see his brothers as brothers but as potential partners. Sooner or later it was meant to happen – Donatello fell in love and he wanted nothing more than to be his girl. It even influenced his behavior regarding a certain brother. His instincts faught against his mind and Donatello had realized that his mind was about to lose. He couldn't stand it anymore. He had to do something. It was about time to give in and be it only in the middle of the night. If he didn't allow himself to be a girl just for a few hours he would break.

Donatello was shaking when he looked at the picture of Hamato Yoshi's human family – the picture with his daughter in it. The turtle bit his lips when his emotions threatened to overwhelm him. He forced himself to breathe deeply before he turned his gaze to the weapon lying beside the frame. His heart was beating so fast that he was almost certain it could be heard. He once again looked the picture of human Splinter.

"Forgive me, father", Donatello whispered before he stood up and took the Tessen. The fan was heavier than he first expected. He was holding the precious weapon devotionally in his hands before he finally opened it.

Perfection, was the first thought that shot through Donatello's mind, while looking at the dificile blades and the symbol of the Hamato-Clan. It was the most beautiful weapon he'd ever seen. The feeling of guilt ebbed away and was replaced by excitement. Nevertheless Donatello hesitated for a second before he went to the middle of the dojo and got into fighting position. Pure energy seemed to run through his veins and his body tensed.

Taking in a deep breath he began to move through several Katas and it felt like the weapon had been created only for him. Donatello shut his eyes and allowed himself to get carried away. He saw himself in his female form – his true form – and a smile appeared on his face.

The dream was ended abruptly when he heard a cough. Donatello turned around and nearly let the Tessen fall to the floor out of shock. Heat shot into his cheeks and he couldn't say a word, so ashamed was he. Splinter instead seemed to be completely calm and watched the turtle mindfully. "Hm", he rubbed his chin while Donatello stood before him like a picture of misery, his head lowered and his shoulders bent.

"Sensei", Donatello's voice was shaking and barely louder than a whisper. He feared the worst and

wasn't able to form a proper sentence. Then -

"Fighting position. Knees bend lightly, the right arm over your head. The Tessen has to point at me."

With disbelief Donatello stared at his Sensei, whose voice was calm and strict. He looked at Donatello expectingly and after a short pause the turtle hurried to follow the orders.

"And we begin."

With that the rat led him through several new Katas with the unknown weapon and with every second the insecurity diminished. It was as if a knot in Donatello's chest loosened. It felt natural. It felt right.

After a good hour of training Splinter ended the lesson. He was thoughtfully looking at Donatello. "I suggest we will continue the lesson at a more civilized hour", the rat said. With big eyes Donatello watched his sensei. Then he lowered his gaze.

"I shouldn't have taken the Tessen. It's not meant for me but for your daughter. I'm very grateful that you give me this chance. And I'm sorry that I disappointed you."

Splinter closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head. He took a step at Donatello and lay a hand on her shoulder.

"I have never been disappointed by you, Donatello. I'm proud of how you tried to carry your burden and that you decided to let it go. As you said: the Tessen is meant for my daughter. Therefore it is just right that you carry it."

Donatello needed a moment to let the words sink in. She swallowed heavily and looked at Splinter, before she hugged him tightly and hid her face in the soft fur. "Father", was all she could say as she wasn't able to express her feelings. Splinter caressed her head and let out a relieved sigh. When Donatello let go she swiped a tear off her cheek. For the first time in forever she was at peace. She felt like she knew who she was – and she felt accepted. Smiling, Splinter looked at her.

"I told you that you are unique." "You knew it." Splinter shook his head. "I only knew that there was something about you that makes you different. I am most pleased that it turned out like that. But it's too late to discuss it at this hour." Donatello agreed. "I will put those candles away." Splinter nodded.

"Sleep well, my daughter." With those words he turned around and left the dojo. Donatello watched him leave. His words had hit home.

His daughter.