A/N: For twin-chan~ (the biggest SyaoxSaku supporter I know), Happy Early Birthday!
As I sleep, hidden in the depths of my other body, I dream of you.
I dream of the times you and I spent together before we realized we were only pawns in that man's game of deadly chess. I can practically feel the breeze tickling my neck, swishing my hair as we frolicked in the gardens surrounding the palace. We were so full of innocence, of unsuspecting naivety that only children could possess. Your eyes shined, reflected in the sunlight that gave Clow Country warmth and love, and mine shined with the friendship and love you had unknowingly given me.
You weren't always as carefree as you were then. When I first met you, you were cold, like a statue, never wavering from the dark look you presented to others who approached you. You didn't speak much, and at first I didn't notice. I was too happy to have a friend nearby who would listen to me.
The first time you smiled made my heart soar. I felt a warmness in my chest that I had never felt before. I can recall that memory with perfect clarity. I wished you would smile more often, and you gave me that wish.
We held each other's hands while running from my brother so many times. I can't help feeling that our hands were meant to be clasped, never to be separated. But they were.
That man, Fei Wong Reed, I don't think I can fully hate him for putting us both to sleep in our originals' bodies. I don't think I could ever hate the man who created us and who caused us to fall in love, even if it only was for his "purpose".
When I lost my memories, you were the one who worked the hardest to get them back. When I first woke up, with no idea who I was or who any of you all were, I trusted you instantly. Maybe it was because I had no other option, but I would like to think it was because somewhere, deep inside of me, I could remember a scrap of who you were to me. I've heard somewhere this saying: If the heart forgets, the body remembers. My body reached out to you, even though my soul was empty of your presence.
I quickly began to fall in love with you during our journey. You never paid attention to yourself, even when you were hurt. You were always worried about me. I can't say I didn't like the attention, but I worried about you more. I could see you pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion, just to give me back a piece of my lost soul. The gratitude of those gestures still resides in me.
When you lost yourself in Tokyo, I felt my heart shatter, and you took the pieces with you. I could see the Syaoran I knew in your eyes, but you were too far gone for even me to reach. I couldn't take it; I couldn't deal with losing you. I succumbed to the darkness that had been left in your place.
The new Syaoran, your original, began to travel with us. He knew that I was not his love, and I knew that I could not love him not only because I now knew I was a clone, but also because you were the one who buried yourself so deep into my mind and soul. No matter how similar the two of you seemed, you were different and I could feel the difference when I looked into the other Syaoran's eyes.
You and your other self found me while I floated through dreams. You fought and I wish I could've stopped it then, but yet again, you were too far gone for my light. I watched you attempt to kill your original. Then, you tried to kill me…but you didn't. You didn't understand it at the time, but I was so happy. You weren't so deep in the everlasting shadow that you forgot. Your body remembered and I knew that one way or another, I would pull you back.
I sensed your blade buried deep inside my body long before I felt it. The blood of my soul was trivial. I couldn't leave this world without telling you that I loved you. My only regret was that I couldn't get all the words out before I disappeared.
When we talked with the witch in that limbo, my ecstasy could not be expressed to do it justice. You had finally remembered and you had created your own heart. Now, we could start over, in a world where Reed couldn't find us.
Being with you in that new world was the better than I could have ever asked for. Our love was strengthened and we gave birth to our son, who would become the base for your creation. My love for him is only second to you.
Of course, the time where we would be needed came inevitably. That tube we encased ourselves in became a prison. Even though we could not touch, and our voices could not echo to each other, I had to comfort of knowing that we could still see. I don't think my eyes ever waved from you while our price was being paid.
Finally, during the last battle we fought bravely, always hoping for Fei Wong's defeat. We fought for the sake of our son and his love, for the logic that had been destroyed, for our companions throughout the journey…and we fought for each other. We created the hope of someday finding a world that could accept ourselves and our originals. I could taste sweet victory on my tongue…before we became separated. You and I paid another price. We were beings that had been created, and even though we had been reincarnated, our souls were artificial.
I now sleep inside my other self, waiting for that time when I will awaken. I know it will happen someday…because I want to see you again, and create new memories.
A/N: As always, if you liked, review!