A Letter from Mikan to Natsume
Mikan sat in front of her computer, she was totally confused and at this point, no-one could stop her hands from typing away.
"Natsume...I don't understand. When I see you, I get this really, really weird feeling. Is it a heart attack? I get very nervous and scared and shaky and I can't think right. I can barely look at you, forget talking! I don't understand this weird feeling. Arghhhh- Oh, and you have a girlfriend, right? Luna?"
Mikan gulped and looked up, before taking a deep breath and continued writing.
"I get this weird, sick feeling in my chest, thinking about you holding and kissing another girl. We've never even kissed! But...when you held me, I felt warm, like home...so beautiful. When you held my hand, I felt so overwhelmed, loved. I never wanted to let go...
I see you in every boy I look at...I don't get it, Natsume, what's happening?"
She drew a shaky breath and typed away.
"I miss you...I don't remember...anything. Breaking up..what did I say again? Why did we end? But...at the same time, Natsume, I don't know which outcome I'd rather have... being with you or alone? I'm scared...so, so, so scared...So...Ahm, I know-"
She wiped her fresh tears.
"-that I don't have the right to interfere with your life anymore...but could you do me a big, big favor? Tell me you hate me. Mean it. So I can get you out of my head, my dreams. I know we'll never be again, you don't love me...I think I love you... But...I don't know how I- I feel weird..I'm way too shy in the world of love. I think I'm better off on my own...being all alone. So, help me, Say you hate me. Hate me. So I can be free before I leave this place.
Natsume, that's the only thing I ask for, so, please. I promise I'll leave you, won't bother you ever again, we'll become complete strangers. I'm saying Goodbye, forever. There's still so much I'm leaving unsaid, because I just can't find the words... But..I just want you to continue to be happy. I wish you SO much happiness.
Natsume...Goodbye."
Mikan stared at the "send" button for a good 5-minutes, her heart racing with anxiety and fear, yet with hope and realization. She was terrified of his answer. Despite wanting to hear those 3 words, she prays that he'll just say "I hate you", giving her dangerously-close-to-breaking-heart, healing.
She closed her eyes and shook her head, terrified, erasing the draft and logging off.
"I can't do it..I'm too scared..." She sighed, "But if I don't...will I ever find rest?"
True story, inspired by my very confused heart. This letter is to someone I believe I love, there's no other explanation. And I hope he see's this before my time runs out...
Listen to these songs to understand my feelings:
Everytime – Brittany spears
Back to December- Taylor swift
Our July in the rain- He is we
Also, check out my other stories by looking up my old account:
A.O.D Angel of Darkness
I've created this account after finding out I couldn't figure out my pass and e-mail. *sighs*
Anyway, I'll be transferring my stories over to this account. ^^