A/N: Phantom Stallion doesnt belong to me! Duh!
So, something of this sort recently happened to me and it sucked. So here it is! Idk if i should continue it or not? Let me know! :]
I love this feeling. This amazing sensation that rushes through my body as the wind blows my hair back and as the most beautiful animal in the world moves as one with me. My beautiful mustang Ace carries me away from my problems, away from the world. When I ride, I feel like I could fly. Fly away from all my problems, and away from the people who hurt me. Fly fly fly away away away. Let me go, let me be free.
I opened my eyes to the blue sky above me and took a deep breath of the air. At that point I felt whole. Away from all my problems and away from what has been haunting me for the past month. I looked down to where Ace's ears were swiveled back, listening to me. "Lets fly boy, what do you say?" I leaned down and whispered in his gold tipped ear. And Fly we did.
As we got closer to the river, I pulled Ace back, not wanting to go back to reality. I didn't want to see the sympathetic looks that Gram would shoot me as she noticed the strain in my face. And the way that my dad, the usual stoic cowboy would look at me with just a little bit too long, seemingly to check on me, to see how I was coping. Well I had to cope didn't I? I had to act like everything was okay, like my life hadn't turned upside down and inside out a month ago. I had to force a smile when all I really wanted to do was fly away.
What had happened 3 weeks and 6 days ago had changed me, had literally rearranged my heart. I came home from school one day to find Jen in an embrace with who of all people, but Jake. Her eyes were shining with happiness and he had a barely concealed grin on his face, his mustang eyes lit up like the fourth of July. "Did I miss something…?" I remember asking, confused as to why they would want to be talking, let alone hugging. "Sam! I just asked Jake to the school dance! And he said yes!" Jen's voice was high pitched, a grating noise that had infiltrated my mind… and my heart. "You….. what….?" I looked accusingly at Jake, who was smiling at Jen like a lovesick puppy. Jen answered me again, in the same tone "I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn't know how to say it… I like Jake, a lot. And now I know that he likes me too!" And there…. Right there. Did you miss it? Lets go back then shall we. Right where she says that she likes him and he likes her too, right there. That is where my world came tumbling down.
I wanted to slap her and to run up to him and scream "DON'T YOU SEE? ITS ME YOU LOVE! ITS SUPPOSED TO BE ME!" But I couldn't do that. That would break Jen's heart and ruin my friendship with Jake. So all I could do was stand there, dumbly, still with my backpack full of homework digging into my shoulders. It felt like it was the weight of the entire world. I smiled thickly at Jen, who was too busy holding onto Jakes arm to notice that my face was falling into a mask of tears. "That's great you guys!" I mumbled, and turned and ran straight into the house, where my pillow was waiting for me to cry myself to sleep into. That was the day that my life was changed.
"Aceeee" I crooned into my sleepy mustang's ear. "its time to get up baby!" Today was the day of the dance, and I was not read to face it just yet. I spent last night by the river, hoping for the soothing noise to lure me to sleep. Instead it had kept me up, forcing me to collide with the date, and with what was to come.
So here I was at 5 am waking up Ace to go for a ride before anyone else was up. I quickly ran a body brush over him, getting any dirt off, then quietly saddled him while he stood silently in place, trying to wake up. I led him to the ranch yard and mounted him with a practiced hop into the saddle. We walked across the bridge, his shod hooves on the brown wood the only noise in the predawn silence.
As we reached the playa, he was alert and ready to run. I gave him some reign and leaned into the wind as he leapt into a comfortable rocking lope. This was heaven I thought to myself. This, right here. This is all I need. That was when I realized that there was a white blur directly to the right of us, quickly gaining ground. The Phantom was here with us. I smooched to Ace, pushinging him into a gallop that would cover many miles before he tired. The Phantom caught up to us and over took Ace with a few long strides, leading him into the morning. That was when I realized that I had been wrong before. That was not heaven, because surely nothing could beat this. Nothing could beat the sound and feeling of powerful animals surrounding you, urging you to run with them. Nothing could be the sight of my Zanzibar's silken tail streaming out behind him, to flick Ace in the nose. This, this right here. Was my own personal heaven.
As we followed Blackie into the day I realized that maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe today wouldn't be as bad as I thought. Even if every single time I saw Jake and Jen together, it felt like a piece of my soul crumbled off and burned, I would be able to handle this. I would be able to think to myself "I was in heaven this morning, and nothing can change that." And I would be able to Fly Away with the Phantom and Ace whenever things got tough. I looked up into the sunrise and laughed as I came to the understanding that this is life. And that sometimes, in life, all you need is to Fly Away.
So how did you like it? Has anyone been there also? Its really a terrible feeling... anyways, review please! :]
~Mairiposa