Disclaimer: All characters from the Twilight saga belong to Stephenie Meyer who is definitely not me. I'm just really like them.
AN: Hey. That's my first fanfic. I came up with it after a so saw some movie. And transformed it into an twilight plot. This is dark. Rape, abuse and beating. M rated for pa reason! It's totally made up by me. If anyone reading this who experienced any kind of abuse, please don't feel degraded by my way of thoughts. I never did and am possibly not able to really get want a victim is feeling or thinking!
To all twilightfans: Don't be mad at me for making some of the characters the evil one. Somebody has to be the bad guy. And by the way I personally love Charlie and Jacob and Paul and Billy, too. Just didn't wanted to make new ones up so they could be the bad.
Last not leased: I'm German! So if my spelling or grammar is wrong, I'm sorry. But even in German I'm a dyslexic and I try!
Prologue:
I lived a horrible life. When I was a kid I thought my life was normal. That my mum was supposed to be like the way she was. Either high or not at home at all or mean when she was. And I thought I was so lucky that my daddy loves me as much as he did. That non of the other girls had a daddy who loved them so much, no of their daddies actually showed their love for them the way my daddy did. He showed me HOW much he loved me. HOW proud he was of me. So much he showed me off to his friends. So the would see what a great daughter I was. Or so I thought.
It wasn't until I got older that I learned what was really goin on in my family. And that no of it was anywhere near normal. It wasn't until I learned about sex and what is was suppose to mean that I understood.
I used to love being with my daddy und make everything that I could to make him happy and proud of me. Even though I started to feel awful afterwards. Now that I learned I hated the way he look at me. The way he touched me. The way he "shared" me with his friends.
I used to love when mom was high or "in her own place", like daddy used to say, when she wasn't at home doing "her important things". Now I hated it when she wasn't there in her right state of mind. When she was, mom called me nasty names and yelled at me, punching and kicking me, throwing things at me. It hurt but at least she kept daddy for "showing how much he loved me" and bringing his friends over. Now I hoped for mom being home when I came from junior high. Now I'm only a week away from my 14. birthday. And I hate my life. I'm disgusted by myself, by what daddy and his friends do to me, make me do to them and because I was so stupid believing it was love.
It used to be so easy. So good. My daddy loved me more than anything else. I was special. Only I could make him feel so amazing. So he told me. And I was so damn proud. Daddy told ma that I was the perfect daughter. That all the other girl couldn't possible make their daddies so proud and love them at much as I did he. And that no daddy loved their daughter as much as he loved me. I was the best.
I loved the way his eyes would shine when I showed his friends how much better I was than any other daughter. Back than I didn't understood that this shinning didn't come from pried. But from watching a young girl having sex with some guy. Back than I believed that physical contact was the purest and most important kind of absolute love. And by being with him and his friends that was what I showed him by doing whatever he wanted me to.
Now I know better.
Now I know it could be any girl. It was just easier with me because of my undeniable love for him and my willing to do what ever it took to make him happy.
I was easy to control. Just him telling me it would make him proud and I didn't second-guess.
But hey, would do you expect. I was just a little girl loving her daddy. The only one ever telling her he loved her. Thinking that's the way life's suppose to be. I didn't know any better. What would you have done? You tell your daddy what he's doing to you hurts and he says he loves you and he's so proud of you for doing this for him? And all you want is to show your really love for him? Yeah, you would have done the same damn thing as did. For years as I did. Until you know better as I did. Than I started asking. This wasn't right. Why he's doing it? Why are all his friends doing the same to me? Why? Why? Why?
You know what you get for asking? Punches, kicks and your blood all over the place! Yelling he owns you and he can do with you whatever the hell he wants. And give to his friends to have their way with you. And if he wants you to hurt, he makes sure you do. And damn did he wanted to!
He had a bad day I was the one to let it out on! He was horny I was the one to use! He had debt with some guy I was the one to pay!
My life was horrible!
And now it just got worse.