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I… Do… Not!
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To Liv, for the sake of the good old times and to Gwen, dynamo high-fives. Love ya both! And to Charliie-sis-wifey-daughter (lol), thanks for the titanic insistence in reviewing my other fic, means a lot! Chin up darling, sad times comes but they also fade. Big love for you too!
Thanks to everyone who´s reading, means a lot xxxx
*
Shocked. Absolutely. There was no other word to describe how Donna felt in that moment. She looked up and down to the man kneeled in front of her, asking to become her husband. And for a brief second, her heart lifted at the idea and she thought about saying yes and jumping over him, to meet those lips she had missed so much.
But no. She loved him more than life itself, yes, and he had given her two full days to prove that. She wasn´t over him and she will never be. But still, the treason and embarrassment he had thrown over her back then, was too much to forgive so soon. She wasn´t to be used and discarded, just to be taken back when the other options didn´t work out.
"No" Donna hissed, pursing her lips and narrowing her eyes at him "No" she repeated, walking to him as he stood to face her and she slapped her hand across his face "After all you´ve done, how do you dare?"
Dreading her tears would soon flood down her face she ran out of the church and rested against the cold stone wall, finally leaving the sun to glisten over her salty tears and slowly sliding down until her body hit the cold floor roughly and she instantly felt two hands placing on her shoulders, as her best friends sat beside her.
"Donna, what the hell is wrong with you? You go and have your lay with that very desirable piece of a man right now"
"Tanya, I told you" Donna whispered, wiping her tears abruptly as she felt they were hurting her "That part of my life is over"
"And you don´t miss it, at all. Bullshit. Honey, he´s obviously head over heels in love with you, and if you don´t take him, you´re seriously insane"
"I love him even more. For you, it´s just so easy to say it… you don´t understand that I…"
"You what? Tanya is right, Donna" Rosie interrupted "You´re running away again, when you shouldn´t"
"I don´t want to get hurt again. My baby is leaving me tonight and it´s just too much to handle"
"Oh, you think because you haven´t seen any of it in 21 years it will hurt…?"
"Tanya!" they both shrieked, making Donna laugh faintly, when they heard a man clearing his throat "That´s not what I mean"
Donna didn´t have to look to know it was him, just his closeness could still send electric shockwaves through her skin and she felt uncomfortable knowing he still have such a power over her. She gasped in shock when her two friends stood and left her alone with him. She tried to grab them so she won´t be abandoned, but they were too quick.
"Be gentle" Tanya whispered, grabbing his arm "She´s just scared. And you will have someone to deal with if you dare hurt her"
Sam grinned, shaking his head and knowing what the brunette´s words implied, to look back at his woman. Playing nervously with the loose straps of her hair, and glowing heavenly under the fading sunlight, he had never found her so beautiful. And she was still in love with him.
Trying to be soft and caring, Sam just took her hand to pull her up and wrapped her in his arms, feeling how she hid her face on the crease of his neck to keep sobbing. Slowly, he started to caress her back and feeling her flinch under every move of his hand, filled him with hope and joy. He haven´t lost her yet. At all. He couldn´t resist the impulse and instinctively drove his lips to her neck, kissing gently her cotton-soft skin and the line of her jaw, smiling at every light moan he got in response. Far from trying to pull away, she tightened her arms around him, begging for more.
He reached the side of her mouth and paused, silently asking for her permission to kiss her, when she moved the minimal distance pulling them apart to kiss him fully, with a soft devoted kiss that lifted them both from earth. Donna broke apart, shaking her head and smiling, cause she have never felt those butterflies on the pit of her stomach with such intensity before. But far from bringing any word, he shut her with a new deep passionate kiss, which she fully responded, running her hand through his hair and opening herself to him, completely. His touch was earth-shaking, and it took her seconds to forget every doubt filling her mind.
Sam broke apart with a light kiss on her nose to stare into her deep green eyes, flashing a handsome smile that made her weak to the knees. And she was still scared, because around him she had not control over anything and that, unfortunately, was one of her biggest fears.
"Now, have you changed your mind baby? Can you forgive me, please?"
"I… don´t… know" she mumbled, wiping another hot tear from her cheek. Yet she felt about to burst, because all she wanted was to confess she craved to be his for the rest of her life, she had always dreamed of that, and ask him to…
With a sigh, he grabbed her chin and forced her to fix her gaze on him, interrupting her thoughts.
"Donna, look me in the eye and say you don´t love me anymore and that you have just felt nothing in that kiss. If you can do such a thing, I promise you´ll never see me again"
"I can´t" she whispered, her shaking lips inches apart from his "I can´t say such a lie"
She took a deep breath to steady herself and try and think about it rationally. His alluring sultry scent lingered inside her like fire, with a full-blown mesmerizing power, so sudden and strong she couldn´t resist the impulse to kiss him again.
Taken by surprise, he tightened his hold on her slowing the rhythm of the touch until it became soft and loving.
And all that love and devotion brought unwelcomed tears to her eyes again.
"I love you, Donna Sheridan. I am not afraid or ashamed of confessing it. And all I´ve wanted this 21 years was for you to become my wife. Because YOU were always my one and only"
With this words, he let her go and turned around, fighting to give the first step that will take him away from her forever. Resting against the wall, she bit her lip to held her endless thoughts to leave her mind as the wrong words. But something jumped and unlatched in the bottom of her soul. Deep inside, love is always stronger. And 21 years of trying couldn´t get her to deny she loved him. She couldn´t let him go.
"Wait" Donna whispered, grabbing his arm gently "I want you to know… I love you too"
"Fine" he sighed, closing his eyes to hold the now forming tears.
"And… and…"
Then, he turned around to face her again, marveled at how gorgeous that woman was, even when shaking and resting against a wall.
"And…?" he asked, staring again into her eyes and drawing a step closer.
Donna couldn´t hold herself, because she was drown in the blue ocean of his eyes, she was lost in his smile. She needed him, and there wasn´t a way to fix that.
"And that… I do want to marry you. I do. Don´t… don´t leave me, please" she smiled, her voice as soft as possible and taking his hand in hers to intertwine their fingers.
Pressing himself against her, he stroke her hair away from her face and kissed her forehead.
"I never wanted to leave you, my lovely"
For the first time she smiled genuinely and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning to place a delicate kiss on his cheek.
"I´m sorry about that, sweetheart"
"No worries honey, I´ll make you pay" Sam smirked, pinning her up against the wall and laughing at the squeal that escaped her. She giggled and smiled sexily, wrapping her legs around his waist.
"You bastard, you only want to use things in your advantage. Well, I´m completely yours but still, there is one condition…"
"What could that be?" he asked, peering down her impressive cleavage until she placed her finger under his chin to pull his head up for him to meet her grinning face.
"Well…there´s something I´ll want you for every night"
But there was no answer.
He kissed her forcefully, unleashing a firey desire that haven´t been there before and leaned to whisper on her ear. She was certainly turned on and gasped, feeling his lips that close.
"Don´t tease me woman, if I could give that to you right now, I would"
"Be careful what you wish for, because you just may get it…" Donna replied with a contented sigh, staring again into his eyes as the strap of her dress slid conveniently down her arm
*
There´s no hurry anymore, when all is said… and done.