Pairing: Bella and ?
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or any of these characters.
He respects my space
And never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will
He's close to my mother
Talks business with my father
He's charming and endearing
And I'm comfortable
But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2 AM and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breaking down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you
~The Way I Loved You-Taylor Swift
I walked across the border, closing my eyes. This was it, this was the place I hated. I couldn't be with both of them, and my heart hated choosing.
My Dad always told me that someday I would have to make the choice, I prayed everyday that the day wasn't that day. In the back of my mind I was positive the day would come, but I wasn't ready.
Maybe I was a wuss, and never wanted it to come. Which was absolutely true. This was so stupid, just an old feud. The border wasn't visible either, it was invisible, unlike the hate. The hate was every where I turned.
"Why must you spend time with the likes of him?" They would spat, saying the other person was like the Devil. Neither of them were the devil, they were caught in this ancient, terrible feud.
Which caused them to hate each other. I'd tried to bring them together, to coexist, but that never happened. They always had a reason to hate each other.
"They care about money more than their family." They would remark, turning up their noses. Or maybe, "They are like dogs, they smell like them too."
Ugh, I hated to hear that, it was like a shot to the heart. I knew, that they were good people, just blind. I crossed my arms around my chest and took a long deep breath before crossing the invisible border. I bit my lip as I made my way over to the familiar trail.
For some reason, I think I was tearing them apart in some ways. Maybe I should leave, and let no more misery come their way. But I was too selfish and needy for that.
The familiar brown wooden house was in the distance. The rusty old pick-up truck was in the front, a nice touch. In the distance, I saw Jake waving. I grinned, as I grew closer to his house.
"Bella!" Jake called, smiling impishly. "Hey Jake!" I smiled, waving. He sprinted over to me, wrapping me in his famous bear hug.
"Bells, it's so nice to see you!" Jacob smiled.
"Nice to see you too, please put me down," I cried as all the oxygen drained out of my lungs.
"Oh, sorry," He apologized, putting me quickly on the ground. After I got my breath back, I spoke.
"You've grown," I marveled, still a little breathless.
"Thanks, I'm six-foot two," He grinned proudly. "Sheesh, Jake and how old are you?" I chuckled, looking into the warm brown eyes that I'd known all my life.
"Sixteen and a half," Jake smirked.
"The half is the most important part isn't it?" I chuckled as we started walking up the rest of the trail.
"Yes, I'm no longer just a sixteen year old," He agreed, sticking in his hands in his worn jeans pockets. I couldn't tell if he was trying to insinuate something or not, so I settled with silence.
"A sixteen and a half year old," I added.
"Exactly, so what have you been up to all day?" Jake asked
"Doing homework, my social life is pathetic," I replied.
"You have me, don't you?" Jake smiled. "That I do," I agreed, blush coloring my cheeks.
"So what do you want to do? Cliff diving? Motorcycles? Hanging with Seth, Embry, and Quil?" Jake suggested. When I was with Jake, we would do crazy things.
Charlie would blow a gasket if he found out about the motorcycles, so I left that part out. When I first learned how to ride a motor cycle, I ended up slicing my head open. Luckily, Jake came up with the brilliant excuse of me falling in his garage, which was entirely believable.
"Hmm, too many choices," I spoke decisively.
"Well, they're all good choices," Jake spoke.
"Very true, how about cliff diving," I decided.
"Alright then," Jake agreed. He fired up his Rabbit, and we climbed in.
"Bella, you haven't been seeing Cullen, have you?" Jacob seethed. This is when I didn't like Jacob. His eyes grew black, the familiar glow was gone. His hands were gripping the steering wheel and I felt shame course through me.
My stomach twisted in knots.
"Bella," Jacob prompted.
"Yes," I squeaked.
"Why?" Jacob asked, angrily.
"Because he's my best friend," I replied.
"I thought I was your best friend," Jacob spoke.
"You are," I nodded.
"Bella, you can't have two best friends," Jacob chuckled, not bothering to make eye contact with me.
"Yes, I can." I responded.
"Someday you'll have to make that choice, whether you like it or not," Jake reminded.
"Please, Jake, let's get off this topic," I begged.
"Bella, I've been patient, I've let you hang out with those people for almost seventeen years, I can't wait much longer," Jacob spoke, grasping the steering wheel so hard I was afraid it would break.
"I'm sorry I've kept you waiting, I just don't want to make this decision," I replied feebly.
"Bella, you have to make it," Jake spoke.
"It's going to break my relationship with one of you, and I love you both," I explained.
"Which one of us do you love more?" Jacob demanded. My jaw clenched.
"I love you both the same, why can't you grasp that!" I cried angrily.
"You can't love him," Jacob disagreed.
"I do, and I love you too!" I spoke. We drove to the cliff. He took my waist.
"You ready?" He whispered in my ear as we reached the top of the cliff. I gulped, "Yes," I replied. He jumped off the cliff. The wind whooshed around me, and I smiled and kept my eyes open the whole time.
Seconds later, we hit the water, and I fell under a wave. After a large waved passed, Jacob got us to the surface.
"How was that?" Jacob spoke, just as breathless as I was.
"Let's do that again," I replied as I took a gasp of air.
"No more today, we have to get you warm. It's a little colder than I expected." Jake ordered. "
Okay," I nodded. The ride home we chatted about nonsense, and soon he parked on his driveway.
"Bella, just tell me when you'll make this decision," Jake begged.
"Why must you make me do this?" I cried.
"I don't know, Bella, but how much longer?" Jake asked. I bit my lip and thought. I thought about a reasonable date.
"My birthday," I replied. Jake nodded.
As I departed down the trail after giving Jake a hug, I heard Jake call me.
"Bells, I love you," Jake spoke. This can't be happening, I stopped dead in my tracks as salty tears fell down my cheeks.
"Why, Jake, why?" I cried as I fell to the forest floor, and collapsed crying.
Dead on the border. I couldn't speak or turn around, I just laid there. If there was one thing I could say, I would ask: "Why?". Because it was only true.
Why did he have to love me? I prayed that he didn't love me more than a friend, I couldn't chose. I knew one thing for sure, Edward wouldn't be happy that I was spending time with Jacob. I was sick and tired of this hate, why were they making me choose?
Then, I realized through my pathetic slump, that my birthday was only a week away. Oh, no, this cannot be happening to me.
Jacob was my sun, and I loved him, when he wasn't yelling or angry. His dark side I feared. I always seemed to call him "my Jacob" when in fact he wasn't.
Jacob was my rock, I leaned on him when I fell to pieces. Jake never underestimated me, but was mindful of my balance issues. The forest grew dark and chilly around me, but I didn't care.
After all I was soaked, and devastated. I'd always known it was coming, it disappointed me that Jacob pressed the issue. Why so much urgency? I wish I could be with them both, but they made that impossible.
Jake always told me I couldn't be friends with both of them at the same time. I wanted to, I split my time with Jacob and Edward. It was tearing me apart to choose.
In my mind I saw two roads, I always knew no matter which side I'd choose, I'd always wonder what was on the other side.
The three words made my head spin sickeningly. I always dreaded them as they repeated like an old record player. Through those words I knew I had to choose.
I hated it, because every time they made me choose, it broke my heart. I had to choose between two wonderful people, and leave one behind.